Ch-3 Wish
Jungkook's pov
We chatted easily the whole trip. He told me about the school he was going to be working at. How he had graduated college, but wasn't able to find a well paying teaching job in his home town, so he had to come to Seoul instead.
Apparently, he didn't like Seoul very much and was going to miss his mom who he would be leaving in Daegu. He was, however, excited to have his dream job and be closer to Jimin and his younger sister.
We talked a little about my job and where I lived. I continued to flirt, and he continued to reject me. Taehyung was incredibly funny and smart, and I couldn't help but admire his putdowns. During the whole two-hour trip, there wasn't a single awkward silence. Usually I ran out of things to say to a guy or girl after a little while - which wouldn't be a problem because I'd just shove my tongue down their throat - but Taehyung just seemed to capture my attention.
I also noticed little things about him that made me smile, like how he used his hands when he spoke of something he was passionate about, or how he bit his bottom lip when he was concentrating. How he kept brushing the tendrils of hair back that had escaped around his face, but they were slightly too short to go behind his ear so they would just fall back again immediately. How his brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the dull train lighting above our heads.
When we pulled in at his station, he smiled and stood up. "Thanks for making sure I got here."
I stood up too. What I really wanted to do was walk him to his front door and make sure he got home safely. It was well after midnight now, and he shouldn't be walking the streets alone.
"I'll just find out what time the next train is back to Seoul," I muttered, following him off the train to the little board that showed the times.
After a quick scan, I noted that there was a train leaving in five minutes, and then another in an hour.
"How far away do you live?" I asked, looking over the empty train station.
Taehyung smiled "It's only about ten minutes' walk. Thanks for dinner and the company."
"No worries." I took my jacket off and slipped it around his shoulders, discreetly leaving my arm there too as I started leading him towards the main entrance.
He stopped and frowned up at me. "Jungkook, seriously, go get a seat before the train goes without you."
"I'll get the next one and walk you home." I shrugged easily, tightening my arm around his shoulders as I guided him to start walking again.
"You sure? I mean, I'll be fine from here."
"I'm sure. I'll walk you."
He didn't shrug my arm off, so I smiled and left it there. Taehyung's petite form fitted under my arm perfectly.
"Okay, thank you." He pulled my jacket tighter around him and smiled gratefully as the wind whipped around us. "So, what time do you have to start work tomorrow?" he asked, making conversation as we started to walk down a dark and not-very-well-lit street.
"Five," I replied, grimacing.
He gasped. "Five in the morning? You won't get time to sleep! You should go get that earlier train. At least then you might be able to catch a couple of hours sleep before work," he protested, stopping and frowning.
I fought a smile at his stern expression and the concern that was clear across his face. "Taehyungie, will you keep walking? It's late at night, and it's dark, there could be all sorts of weirdos lingering down these dark streets, just waiting to take advantage of a handsome thing like me," I joked, looking around with mock horror.
He laughed and shook his head. "Don't worry, baby, I'll protect you."
"Thanks." I grinned as we started walking again.
The walk to his apartment was short, like he'd said. When we arrived at his building, I followed him up to the third floor and stopped outside his door. He looked up at me, fiddling with his keys in his hand and shifting on his feet uncomfortably.
"I can't invite you in, I'm sorry."
I smiled and shook my head; I hadn't expected him to.
"It's fine. So, maybe when you move to Seoul we could catch up or something?" I suggested, trying desperately not to lean in and press my lips against him. His bottom lip looked so incredibly inviting, especially when he chewed on it like he was doing at the moment. My body longed to press against his, to pin him against the wall, to rip his clothes off and run my tongue across every inch of him. But instead of doing any of that, I ran my hand through my hair and tried not to let my desire show on my face.
"I don't think so, Jungkook," he answered almost apologetically.
"Because you already have a man?" I inquired, letting my eyes wander his face, checking for any signs of indecision. Maybe if I just kiss him, he'll kiss me back... Or maybe he'll slap my face. I decided against it.
Clearly he wasn't interested in me, and I couldn't stop the jealousy from building up inside me because of that knowledge. During the last couple of hours, I'd realised how great he was. His boyfriend was a lucky guy; I hoped he knew it.
"Yeah," he whispered, nodding.
"Okay, well it was nice to meet you and stalk you for a few hours. Thanks for keeping me entertained. Your first piece of stalker mail should arrive within the next couple of days," I joked, grinning at him and trying to cover up my disappointment.
He chuckled, handing me back my jacket. "I'll look forward to it."
I slipped it on, immediately feeling the warmth of the material from his body. I took one last look at him before I turned and headed back to the station to wait for my train. As I sat there, sipping bad coffee from a paper cup, I couldn't help but wonder if this guy was my Jimin; my perfect match.
Technically, it didn't even matter because he wasn't interested.
By the time I was back in Seoul, I was exhausted. My eyes stung and it was almost four in the morning. I had just over an hour before I was due to start work. I headed back to my apartment and had a nice hot shower, trying to wake up my muscles a little. After pulling on a fresh uniform, I headed to my department a little earlier than I needed to, deciding to read through my briefing pack with all the details of the day's operation.
My team of ten was going to a building downtown, where they had been tracking a drug dealer. Apparently, there was a cop undercover with the group; he'd fed us information that there was a big deal going down this morning at seven. I was to lead the snipers - four of us in total - and we would take vantage points across the street. The other six agents in my team would move into the building and secure the targets after the deal had gone down. A tech team had already set up the building with cameras and motion detectors in preparation, so we would be able to watch the deal before moving in. It all sounded fairly standard to me, not unlike a normal raid, except we needed to be careful of the undercover cop. I flicked to his picture so I would know who he was during the raid.
When I was done reading, I rested my head on my arms and waited for everyone else to arrive. I must have fallen asleep because I jolted upright when someone smacked me on the back of my head. Ryu, one of my teammates, laughed wickedly, obviously proud of himself.
"Asshole," I grunted tiredly as he dropped into the seat next to mine.
"Another girl or guy keep you up all night?" he asked, shaking his head.
Ryu was a married man and always disapproved of the tales I told of girls and guys I'd been with.
I smiled. He was right, but not in the way he was thinking. "Yep, I had no sleep at all. It was fun though," I answered honestly.
He rolled his eyes. "When are you going to grow up and stop sleeping around?"
I sat back in my chair, rubbing a hand over face, trying to wake up a little more. "When my dick shrivels up and falls off," I joked.
Before he could answer, the captain walked in the room and everyone went quiet, listening to last minute instructions before we all piled into two vans and headed to the location.
Two hours later I was lying flat on my stomach, looking through the eyepiece of my rifle. In the building opposite, I could see five guys fussing around a briefcase. One of them was the undercover cop. Apparently, there were another four guys spread around the building, keeping watch while the deal went down. I didn't need to worry about those four though, the ground team would take them out before they moved in.
My comm unit crackled to life. "We're moving in. Radio silence."
This meant that we could hear what was going on with them, but they couldn't hear us unless we buzzed to get their attention. That way we didn't give away their positions.
I glanced at Ryu, who was about twenty feet away, mirroring my position and aiming at the building too. "I'll cover the two on the right," I said, signalling with my hand.
"Yeah okay, I'll go left then." He nodded, looking back into his eyepiece.
My comm unit crackled again. "I'm going in," Kwan, one of my more reckless team members, hissed.
"Kwan, just wait. We're not ready, just wait for the signal," Neil replied.
"I can hear someone coming, I need to move in."
"No. Just hold off. Take out who you need to, and wait for the signal. We have an undercover in there," Neil ordered sternly.
I frowned, grinding my teeth as I listened to their exchange. Kwan was always like this; the fucking asshole couldn't take orders.
Through my eyepiece, I watched the room as the sound of shouting and gunfire came through my earpiece. Against orders, Kwan had burst into the room on his own. I tensed, lining up my shot for the guy closest to Kwan, ready to take him down if I needed to. Three of the guys immediately looked around, shocked; they were suits, they had others to do the shooting for them so they just stood there with their hands up innocently. The undercover cop moved to the side, but held his hands up too, playing along until he was arrested like he was supposed to in case the raid went wrong and he needed to stay under. The fifth guy moved quickly, slamming Kwan into the wall making his gun drop from his hand.
"Jungkook?" Ryu shouted, waiting for me to make the call of whether we should take him out.
"Hold," I called, lining up my sight as I frantically searched for a shot that wouldn't hit Kwan. They were scuffling around on the floor rolling over and moving too much. There was no shot.
The three suits ran from the room, grabbing the briefcase, with the undercover hot on their heels. I heard Neil ordering a change of positions so the ground team could pick them up. Somehow the guy grappling with Kwan got the upper hand and grabbed the gun from the floor, standing at the same time as Kwan and pointing the gun at him. I could hear their conversation through my earpiece. The way they were positioned Kwan had his back to me and was blocking my shot to the guy with the gun.
"Motherfucker," the guy spat.
"Just calm down. There are agents all over the building, if you shoot me then you won't make it out of here alive," Kwan stated, holding his hands up in surrender. The guy's eyes flicked around the room quickly, obviously looking for a way out.
"Do you have a shot?" I called to Ryu.
"No, I've got nothing. Kwan's in the way."
I pressed the button on my comms unit, calling through to the two other snipers that were three floors down from us. "Sang-cheol, Chan-woo, you have a shot?" I asked hopefully. I had a shot, but didn't want to take it; it was straight through the guy's forehead and we should try and go for a body shot if possible. It was better to wound than to kill.
"No nothing," they both replied. Fuck it! "You have anything?" Sang-cheol asked.
I swallowed. "I have a kill shot."
Come on, Kwan, step to the right a little. Just move your body. You know we're watching. Move your fucking body out of the way! Kwan was still trying to calm the guy down, but he was just looking more and more stressed with each passing second.
"Let's just go in together. Give me the gun, and it'll be easier for you," Kwan coaxed.
"I can't go inside again, I can't," the guy cried, as he raised the gun again.
I saw the indecision on his face fade as he made up his mind to shoot. His face hardened, and his jaw tightened. Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger on my assault rifle. The shot smashed the window in the building opposite me, shattering glass everywhere. The glass hit the floor a second before the guy's dead body did.
Kwan spun on his heel, looking in our direction gratefully. His face was pale as he ran a hand through his hair. I gritted my teeth as anger built inside me. He was always doing things like this. I'd killed more people because of his stupidity than needed to be dead, and I hated it. I hated to know that I was the one to end someone's life. It played on my mind after - not that anyone knew that, of course, I didn't talk to anyone about my feelings because it was just my job. I was damn good at it too; I was the best long-range shooter, which was why I was chosen to lead and make the decisions. I knew I had done the right thing in shooting, but deep down I knew that if Kwan hadn't moved in early then the rest of the team would have been there to back him up. That guy might not have died today.
"Nice shot," Ryu congratulated me, slapping my shoulder as I packed up my gun once we'd been given the all clear from the ground team.
"Thanks." I nodded trying not to show any emotions. I needed a drink. I needed to fuck someone senseless and get wasted so that I could stop thinking about the way the guy's body fell limply to the floor.
Slinging my gun bag over my shoulder, I headed downstairs slowly, knowing I was going to be interviewed over what had happened. There was always an investigation when a kill was involved. Kwan was standing off to one side, smoking and laughing with one of the other team members as if nothing had happened. It may have been bravado on his part, but I saw red.
I dropped my bag and grabbed the front of his tactical vest, shoving him roughly against the side of the car that he was standing next to.
"Fucking dickhead! Why can't you just do as you're damn well ordered for once in your life?" I snapped, as he gripped my wrists and tried to push me off.
"It all worked out in the end, so what's your problem?" he asked breathlessly.
"You're my problem! You're always pulling shit like this. You need to grow the fuck up, or you're going to get yourself killed," I spat, my face inches from his. All I could think about was ramming my fist down his throat and pulling his heart out.
He smiled weakly. "I won't get myself killed, Kook, you're too good at your job."
I pulled back and shoved him away from me, watching as he stumbled and fell onto his butt on the sidewalk.
"Maybe next time I won't have the shot and you'll take one through the forehead just like he did," I retorted, turning and picking up my gun bag. I forced myself to walk away from him before I did something stupid.
The rest of the day passed slowly, I had to fill in a ton of forms and reports stating that I had no other choice but to take the kill shot. Ryu and Kwan were interviewed too. Finally, after about two hours of talking, I was dismissed and allowed to go home early while they combined their evidence and then made their decision. I knew I wouldn't be in trouble for it; this was just a formality; a tedious, annoying formality, which, unfortunately, was part of my job all too often.
It was only lunchtime so I decided to go and have a couple of hours sleep so that I could go out tonight and get wasted. I really needed something to take my mind off work, but I didn't have the energy right now for anything physical. Picking up a girl or guy for random stranger sex was usually my first defense when these feelings started seeping in, but even that didn't appeal to me at the moment. Instead, I went home alone and slumped into my bed without bothering to take off my uniform.
It was at times like this that I wished I had a partner of my own. A guy or a girl to ask me what was wrong and let me offload my feelings on to. A person to hold me, so I could think about anything other than the way the target's eyes went vacant just before he fell to the floor. Someone to just want to be with me for me, instead of the way I looked or because I wore a uniform.
My half-asleep mind wandered to Taehyung. I closed my eyes against the afternoon light and imagined how nice it would feel if he were lying next to me, with his arms wrapped around me, whispering that it was alright that I felt guilty inside and telling me that I'd done the right thing.
A small amount of the anger and guilt dispersed within me, and I fell asleep with a small smile on my face.
To be continued......
Jungkook started dreaming and wishing for Taehyung but is it possible to happen???!!!
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