There's something magical about Sunday.

It's the only day powerful enough to erase the other six days of the week into memories.

The only day where stillness in the air symbolizes what's to come instead of what's happened.

Only day the whole world decides to take a deep breath and give life another try.

Another try.              

Life, it's all around me and for the first time in a long time, I'm doing more than holding my head above water.

I'm floating.

I can feel the pieces of my life pulling together like I feel the sunlight streaming through the spaces in my blinds.

A particular bright stream of light finds its home just behind my eyelids but the morning feels too serene to be disturbed by opened eyes.

What the hell, if you can't sleep in on a Sunday, what can you do?

I nudge myself deeper into the mattress and I begin to imagine this is what it means to feel free. To rest without being restless, to enjoy the slow, warm haze of the morning without feeling like I'm running out of time.

Everything is as it should be, not even the occasional honk of a horn or the incessant bark of Mr. Walter's Beagle next door can change that.

I want to hold onto this moment for as long as I can but as my hand glides across the sheet, I find nothing, the warmness she seems to radiate has long turned cold.

Everything is not as it should be.

Far from graceful, I roll to the side and slip out of bed, stretching towards the ceiling before glancing at the clock on my nightstand, 5:45 am.

I know she got into bed after me, how did she manage to be up before me?

Travelling through the apartment, I follow the smell of coffee and the sound of Prince mixed with rustling paper.

It isn't too hard to find the object of my affection.

She's here, at her absolute best, her face illuminated by her own natural glow and her hair a tousled mess held up by a headscarf. She's wearing one of my shirts, an old black tee with a hand-painted picture of Biggie Smalls.

It's been worn a thousand times too many but she makes it look new and tempting, the cotton material falling against her thighs as she sits cross-legged on my frayed carpet.

Her attention is locked on the pages of her notebook but I don't mind, I take full advantage of the fact that she's yet to notice me while all I can do is notice her.

Notice the way her brows draw together as her pencil glides across the sheet, notice the dance in her shoulder as she takes a sip from her mug. Notice the wide grin that pulls at the corners of her rosy cheeks and the slight bang of her head as a guitar riff sounds from her phone's speaker.

This life's worth living if I get to see that smile every day.

"What you doing all the way over there Johnny cakes?" Alice questions, her face still buried in her notebook.

I chuckle at being caught staring but as she looks over at me, her spirited eyes meet mine in a spark that could easily turn to an inferno.

Time slows and in this moment I can guarantee that my soul met hers in a dance as old as time itself.

"I'm looking at the prettiest girl in the whole world." I bite my lip in an attempt not to smile too wide. "What are you doing, baby?"

"I was writing but now I'm waiting on the light of my life to kiss me good morning." Alice sends the most enchanting smile my way as she signals me over with a wave of her hand.

I don't hesitate, taking long strides till I'm flopping down beside her with as much elegance as a grizzly bear. All I can think is that I'm dreaming. There's no way this angel is real, there's no way her smile is for me. But my hands, they're more focused than my thoughts, they reach down and grip her hips, pulling her across my lap. Alice's eyes widen and she shrieks a laugh at the sudden movement but she quickly recovers, grabbing my shoulders and placing her knees on each side of my waist.

I lean up as she inches down and for just a second, I still think I'm dreaming but as her lips crash against mine, I know this is real. The feel of her tongue against mine, real. Her fingers sliding from my shoulder to dip under my shirt and across my stomach, real. My hands making a home of her body, feeling and exploring the dips and curves of her sides, is all so real.

The moment she pulls away, the music playing from her phone stops and I wonder if the world decided silence was the best way to marvel at her, at us but it's only a brief second of calm before her alarm blares through the otherwise quiet apartment.

Alice leans out of my arms, hastily grabbing the phone and silencing the alarm before repositioning across my lap. "Pill o'clock." She grins, wide and toothy while I tilt my head, noting how different her reaction is compared to the first time that alarm popped up.

"Do you have it with you?" I ask, my hands tenderly gliding up and down the expanse of her back, only stopping to linger on the small of her waist.

"No, I don't need it anymore."

I freeze, and everything stops, my fingers, my thoughts and indeed my ability to make coherent sentences. She watches me intently, still smiling and soon banging her head to the song that had continued to play from her phone.

I laugh, suddenly sure she's joking. "Alice, are you trying to trap me?" I shrug before throwing a hand in the air. "Just so you know I only have this dump which I rent and the sugar packets Sam pretends I don't steal."

She stares at me, her brows pulling together before a thought visibly flashes crosses her eyes. Then she laughs, loudly and distractingly wild before shaking her head. "Birth control, right right." She nods enthusiastically, more to herself than to me. "I've found other means? Let's say that. I'm great, you're great. This is great, everything is great. Everything makes sense, don't worry. I don't need pill o'clock anymore, okay?"

It takes me a minute but eventually I nod because there's not a soul in this world or the next that I trust more than Alice Carter. "Okay, yeah, you're right, things are great. There's actually something I've needed to talk to you about."

Something I've been holding onto all week.

Partly because I was just too nervous to get the words out but mostly because no moment felt like the right one.

I wanted this to be special, over the top, fancy dinner, suit and tie special but now with the sun bright enough to cast a golden hue over Alice and Prince's I Wanna be Your Lover playing in the background, I don't think I'll ever find a more special moment than this.

"Oh god, I knew this was coming." Alice groans before shuffling out of my lap and rolling onto the ground.

"You did?"

"I did, you've been serious and extra contemplative so I know something's on your mind." My face scrunches and I'm about to ask what she means when she clamps her hands over my mouth. "I come from money and I know it makes you feel weird and uncomfortable and all philosophical but I had to help Tiffany."

Tiffany.

It hadn't been an easy week.

In fact, I don't know what the worst part was.

If I had to say it was probably between the intensity of waiting and hoping during Danny's surgery and the crushing uncertainty of his prolonged unconsciousness afterwards.

Though I can't forget experiencing the tangible grief and sadness that lives in the pediatric intensive care unit, a place where kids prepare to die and adults cling to childlike hope.

Maybe it's just the guilt I felt every time the gang and I left Tiffany alone because emergency or not, Sam couldn't afford to shut the shop down for too long.

But as I glance over at the empanadas, fruit baskets and flower arrangements that line my kitchen counter, none of that matters because Danny is healthy and perfect and five and every member of the Vasquez family wants to show Alice their appreciation.

Turning back to face Alice, I try to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

I'm the worst kind of person.

Reaching up, I gently pull her hands from across my mouth. "Alice, I'm not mad at you, not even close. How can I be?" Sighing, my hands move to seize her waist, pulling her into a hold tight enough to bruise. "What you did for Tiffany just confirmed my suspicions, you're an angel baby and I don't deserve you."

"An angel, huh?" She hums, a laugh lacing her words as she leans into me, resting her forehead tenderly against my own as her fingers run across the back of my neck. "Well, I am pretty wonderful, so what's the problem?"

"You saved my friend and I know you said Tiffany doesn't have to pay you back but I do." Her mouth pops open but I quickly press a kiss to her lips before pulling away. "Not just for her but for me, every day I have to show you that you've completely changed my life. I have to show you that this isn't just a thing that happens between us, this is it for me, there's nothing else but you for me." A laugh escapes me because I can't believe the words that crowd my mind are actually entering the atmosphere but her smouldering eyes steady me. "Alice, I've been serious and contemplative all week because I've been wracking my brain to find a way to show you, what you mean to me but I know that I won't ever have enough time or money or goddamn magic to do that."

Alice's blinked, not once, not twice but three times before shaking her head and slamming her fist against my chest. "When Tiffany asked me if I was doing this for you, I couldn't answer her honestly...because no, I wasn't." She shakes her head as she stares at her fist on my chest." Sam, Shannon and the guys treat me better than anyone ever has, even Leo, I know in his own self-righteous way he cares about me too. I feel like I belong, I feel like I have friends, I just wanted to help a friend."

I nod, clasping my opened palm over her closed fist. "I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about you, they wouldn't hold back on the hate if they didn't."

She huffs a breath before, biting her lip and meeting my eyes. "But truly yes, Johnny, yes, I did it for you because I know you know this but I need you to understand this, I was frighteningly alone. Alone by choice and alone by circumstance, I accepted my membership to the lonely hunters club but then you came along and you – you saw me and you cared and you smiled at me." She takes my hand in hers, placing soft kisses against my knuckles before interlocking our fingers.

"You sat with me at the coffee shop when I asked, you came to the park and feed the ducks because I asked, you came to my play and thought it was the most amazing piece of literature ever written. You took me on a date to a museum because you remembered that I love museums and you planned the most magical rooftop picnic at freaking sunset. Do you know how beautiful that is? Then you kiss me! You kissed me on an empty street right after the sun rose, that's the kind of thing people write poetry about, Johnny. Oh my God and you look at me, sobbing and crying and falling apart and you bury everything I'm afraid of in my favourite book. So no, you're not the one trying to prove anything, I'm the one trying to catch up, I'm one trying to show you what you mean to me."

She's huffing, her breath laboured from the speed of her speech while I've never been able to breathe so easily.

"I love you." I blurt and for a second, my heart drops, it falls right out of my chest, its exposed and defenceless but I won't take my words back, the declaration is real and true and everything that matters.

"Johnny...you, what did you say?"

"I love you Alice Carter, I am so in love with you, I can't help but wonder how I lived so long without my other half."

She lets out a soft whistle before she beams at me with a smile brighter than the sunlight. "I'm in love with you too Johnathon Ryder, with everything in me, I love you." And then she's kissing me, wild, cluttered, powerful, completely Alice.

Chuckling, I gently slide Alice away, before reaching into my sweatpants' pocket, "I didn't want to talk about Tiffany, I wanted to tell you I've been waiting all week to give this to you." Pulling the silver metal from my pocket, I place the key into the palm of Alice's hand.

She peeps up at me, a questioning look glazing over her unfaltering grin as she turns the key over and over in her hand, "Babe, you corny bastard. What is this? The key to your heart?" She screeches with a loud snort.

I'm not afraid to make this real.

"No, baby," I cough to clear the laugh from my throat before looking at the only woman I'll ever love. "I'm not just talk, I'm serious about you being it for me. I don't ever want you to knock on the front door again, just turn your key and walk in, you're home."

Alice squeals jumping from the floor to the sofa where she proceeds to bounce up and down and yell about love, happiness and new beginnings.

Safe to say I think she accepted the key.

-

"Are you going to be so damn happy all day, Johnny?"

"Maybe, there's a lot to be happy about, Leo." I make sure to grin extra bright as he rolls his eyes.

"You're so whipped, it's embarrassing." He shakes his head before grabbing a couple of menus and strutting away from the coffee station.

Sam chuckles as he takes Leo's space beside me, quickly grabbing a cloth and wiping the countertop. "You are very happy and I am very proud."

"Yeah? Proud enough to give me an extra twenty minutes on my lunch break? Alice wants me to help her bring some stuff from her house to the apartment."

"Hmm." Sam closes his eyes and tilts his head from side to side before cracking a smile. "Tiffany's still out but today's a slow enough day, I might can swing you that."

"Did I ever tell you I love you Sammy?"

"Maybe once or twice but you've definitely told Alice." Sam smiles as he reaches over and grips both sides of my shoulders. "Honestly though, I am very proud of you. I've been waiting for the day you finally realized you deserve happiness as much as the next guy. You've stopped just trying to survive, you're actually out there living and you've found someone that has a heart much like your own. It's only the beginning son, great things are ahead of you."

I throw my arms around my boss, and I squeeze extra tight as he returns the embrace and claps his hand against my back. This is Samuel Jacobs, the first person that ever made me feel like I was more than what I've been through.

"What hell is going on here? Is this a coffee shop or freaking Disney land? Get to work!" Leo shouts as Sam and I become a mess of limbs and laughter.

-

I had my suspicions.

They began when I noticed Alice's tendency to leave a book here, a shirt there and a hair clip everywhere in my apartment. I passed it off as her being messy but now I'm sure.

Without a shadow of a doubt, she's actually trying to move in.

"Babe, you do understand you're not moving in right? The key is so you can come over whenever you want. It's really just a symbol of trust and love, y'know?" Trailing behind her, I can barely see her short frame over the cardboard box she placed in my hands.

Truthfully I should have been worried and downright terrified but instead, I'm just happy to be loved by Alice Carter and if that means she's there when I wake up and there when I go to sleep, then I can't find a downside.

"Johnnycakes, I know but what if I'm at your place and I want to read from my collection or I don't know, need to get dressed up in a ball gown. A girls gotta bring options." I can hear the smile in her voice and the quickening of her footsteps against the sidewalk.

'When would you ever need a ball gown?"

"Well, we won't know, will we?" She laughs before taking the box from my hands and setting it down on her welcome mat. "We're here, you pack all the books in the living room and I'll get my clothes."

Nodding, I chuckle before placing a kiss on her cheek, stepping forward I'm about to grab the door handle but I jump back when it opens with a force similar to a hurricane.

There's a man in the doorway, tall and robust, fitted in a well-tailored midnight suit that yells its expense. His lips fold as he stares at me in a manner so blistering, I'm afraid I might combust.

"Alice." The man seethes as he folds his arms against his chest like a bouncer at a rowdy night club.

I look to Alice but when she stiffens, grabs onto my arm and slings herself behind me, I face the stranger in a stare down that could rival those of the old west. "Who the hell are you?"

My question must have further angered the stark man, for in a blink of an eye, he lunges forward, shoving me away and roughly grabbing a shaking Alice.

"Alice Elizabeth Carter, I am so damn tired of your antics." He screeches through gritted teeth, the corner of his lips pulling up in the same way a snake does when it sets its sights on its prey.

I can feel heat under my skin before red flashes before my eyes.

Charging forward, the heat intensifies and the red becomes blinding as I press my elbow to the man's throat and slam him hard against the brick wall by the door. "Don't touch her."

He grunts in surprise but I don't have the upper hand for long as I feel way before I ever see his fist collide with my face over and over and over again.

The metallic taste of blood grows fresh in my mouth as he grips my collar, pulls me forward and slams his forehead into mine.

Stars dance in my eyes as I try to claw at his face and despite the sizzle in my ear I can hear Alice's screams of bloody murder before her blurry figure attempts to dive in between the raging man and I.

"I raised a damn slut. When I saw the withdrawal from your account, I knew you were out here making a mess of the Carter name." The man fumes before barking a rather cynical laugh as he releases my collar and drop me to the ground. "Every day, every day you make me ashamed to be your father."

Alice shoulders bob up and down as she heaves a spine chilling cry. "Dad...dad please, stop. Don't do this to me, it's not what you think, please."

"This is...this is...y-our father?" I stagger out, my head spinning as my eyes dart from Alice to the man who looks like he's about to skin me alive.

Alice parts her lips to speak but the loud wailing of a siren sounds before blue and red flashes of light, illuminate all our faces.

A fresh-faced cop pops out of the passenger seat followed by an older officer, they approach us with caution surveying the situation before removing their hands from their weapons.

The younger cop looks to me on the ground before looking over at Alice's father standing over me.

"We got a report from a Mrs. Montgomery, says her neighbours sounded like they were brawling in her quiet little neighbourhood." The older officer, the one clearly calling the shots and making the assumptions snarls as he tilts his head to me. "What seems to be the problem, son?"

I reach up, running my hand across my mouth before pulling back and looking at the blood smeared across my palm, from there I glance down at my wrinkled blood-soaked work shirt before looking at Alice, who looks pristine in her summer dress. Then, I look to her father, whose suit remains spotless despite our tousle and finally I glance around at the neighbourhood and soon it all hits me as hard as Mr. Carter's fists.

I'm the problem, I don't belong.

Whatever I say, I know it won't mean much, so on wobbling legs, I stumble to my feet and nod towards Alice's dad, the man whose knuckles are painted with my blood but isn't being questioned.

Her dad raises to his full height, his shoulder squaring as his whole persona takes on an intimidating stance, a stance I believe he uses in the big board room meetings or at real estate auctions.

"My name is William Carter and this is my property, Mrs. Montgomery is a dear friend. This...this bastard however is..." William points at me with unmasked hatred but he never got the chance to finish his sentence as Alice quickly runs towards him, whispering in a low tone as her eyes flash to me with disturbing panic.

I couldn't hear her words in great detail but I hear 'please' and 'he's nobody pretty clearly.

William gives Alice one last scathing look before he clears his throat, glares at me and looks towards the officers. "Leaving, he was just leaving and never coming back."

The officers share a glance with each other before nodding and looking to me for any sign of protests but all I can do is stare at Alice.

Alice who refuses to meet my eyes, Alice who turns her back to me and Alice who holds her head low before marching off into her house and slamming her door shut.

My heart makes its way to my throat, blocking all air passages and threatening to stifle me, I don't understand.

What what what, what just happened?

"Sir either you leave peacefully or you take a ride downtown with us." One of the two, possibly three, maybe four officers had menaced, I'm not sure, I can't seem to focus.

Turning away, I think my legs carry me from neighbourhoods with perfectly painted houses, smooth roads and police that came quickly.

All I really know is that I had long stop floating, now, now I'm drowning.