^ Lincoln (Lucca's wolf) but imagine him bigger than this

"If you joke when you go broke, you won't hear her complain. After a while, you're learning to smile through the pain."
~I Sing, 'Smile Through the Pain'

~~~

*Lucca's POV*

'Turn around,' Lincoln demands.

"No," I murmur out loud while driving away from the Silver Sun Pack.

'That's our mate!' He snaps. 'You can't keep me away from my mate! I want to meet him. No, I need to meet him. Fucking hell, Lucca, I didn't get the chance to learn his name!'

"I'm not ready for this," I shake my head while clenching my jaw. "I'm not ready."

'Well I am!'

"I'm not fucking going back. I told you, I'm not ready."

Lincoln growls. 'I wasn't ready to leave the pack and become a rogue, but I went along with it because it's what you needed.'

"I didn't choose to get banished," I bristle. "Why the hell would I want to get shunned by my own family?"

'You know why,' Lincoln says lowly, and my fingers tighten around the steering wheel. I force those awful memories down, not letting Lincoln rile me up. 'We could've stayed and helped. We could've—'

"There was nothing we could have done!" I shout, no longer paying attention to how fast I'm driving. "Everyone was too blinded by the fact that they were mates to do anything! She was too fucking blind to leave him."

Unwanted memories flash through my mind as searing pain stabs at my gut. Images of her face, smiling through the pain of her split lip and bruised cheekbone. Smiling, always smiling. No matter what he said, what he did... she was always smiling.

I used to love that smile. The smile that reminded me of all the good in the world. The one that made me grin from ear to ear; heart skipping a beat with unbridled joy.

She had the best smile.

Warm, radiant, calming. I had that smile memorized to the point where I could tell when she was faking it. When her smile seemed strained, and her hazel eyes no longer sparkled.

Olivia.

'Missing her isn't going to do any good when you refuse to try and help her,' Lincoln bitterly reminds me.

"I did try," I spit through my teeth. "But you can't help someone who won't help themselves. I'm not going to blame myself for something I had zero control over."

'And I'm not going to let you drive our mate away because you're too scared,' Lincoln barks back. Not giving me a chance to think through what he said, Lincoln slams his way forward in my mind. I shout, swerving on the road as my head pounds painfully.

"Stop! You're going to make us crash!" I shout, but my warning is ignored. My eyes burn as they begin to glow, signifying Lincoln's attempt to take over. I sharply turn the wheel and pull over to the side of the road, narrowly avoiding a large tree. Ripping off my seatbelt, I kick the car door open and collapse to the ground. Pain rockets through my bones as Lincoln tries to force a shift. I fight against him, but it only makes it hurt worse.

'Let go!' Lincoln growls. 'I'm going to see my mate!'

My fingers stretch into claws, digging into the ground beneath me. My back arches gruesomely, causing my shirt to tear down the middle. Eventually, the pain of resisting becomes to great, and my body collapses.

***

*Lincoln's POV*

Holy shit. I did it. I actually did it!

Lucca's gonna kill me.

Oh, well.

Not that he can, since our souls are intertwined. But he'll probably give me the silent treatment for a day. Or two. Or three.

If he had just turned around when I told him to, none of this would have happened! Lucca's too blinded by what happened in the past to realize how selfish he's being. He's not just running from his mate. No, he's keeping me from mine.

Mine.

With that thought in mind, I turn and race as fast as I can to the Silver Woods Pack. The road from the pack is most surrounded by trees to keep the pack hidden, but I still see one or two cars driving by. The humans gape at me as I dash down the road, away from the car that I abandoned on the side of the road.

Oh shit, the keys are still in there. What if someone steals it? Lucca would definitely kill me then.

But... mate. Mate needs me. I need mate.

The car will be fine. My hind legs launch me forward as I run full-speed to the pack. The guards at the pack entrance see me running towards them and begin growling in warning. As a rogue, I don't have access to their pack's mind link to tell them who I am or why I'm here. Driven by the need to see my mate, I attempt to dart past them but they pounce in less than a second. I yelp when I'm slammed into the ground; the wolves pinning me and growling threateningly.

"What the fuck is going on?!" An angry voice shouts. I lift my head, eyes widening when I see the Silver Woods Alpha, Leon, stalking towards us. His deep red hair is tousled messily and there are obvious bags under his eyes. "I finally got the twins down for a fucking nap, and then this happens. Who the hell is this?"

One of the guards shifts back while the other continues to pin me down. "Sorry, Alpha. This rogue was attempting to break in," the guard reports, and I note with annoyance the sneer in his tone when he said rogue.

"Rogue?" Leon's dark brows furrow as he turns his head towards me. His eyes flash menacingly, and I nearly piss myself.

I remember him. Landon's former mate, Easton, was the previous Alpha of the pack. After he died, his younger brother, Leon, took over. Several months ago, Leon kind of lost it while searching for his brother's tormentors. He ended up getting his own ass captured and left tied up in a church basement. He nearly killed Lucca — and me — for being rogues. Luckily, Landon was there to stop him. I wouldn't say Lucca is friends with the kid, but we're certainly not enemies. He gave Lucca permission to come to the pack today for the party, but he must not recognize our wolf form.

Kneeling down next to me, Leon grips the fur on the back of my neck and pulls back painfully. He yanks my head up, forcing me to make eye contact with him.

"Shift," he orders, his eyes glowing with dominance. But he's not my Alpha, and I don't need to fucking obey him. I huff defiantly, and he growls. "I said shift!"

I can't, I want to say to him. If I shift back, Lucca will make sure I can't break free again, and I need to see my mate first!

His face turns red from anger, almost matching his hair. I can tell he's seconds away from snapping my neck, but another voice pulls his attention.

"Leon?" Landon miraculously appears right on fucking time. "What's going— Lincoln?"

"You know this rogue?" Leon spits out, glancing between me and the former Luna.

Landon quickly nods. "That's Lucca's wolf, Lincoln. I'm surprised for multiple reasons to see him, but mainly because I thought Lucca left."

"Well, why the hell is he trying to break into the pack in wolf form?" Leon demands, releasing my fur. "This would've been so much easier if Lucca just showed himself."

I release a whine, making Landon look at me with questioning eyes. Keeping my gaze locked on his, I try to non-verbally communicate why I'm here by whimpering and looking at him with sad eyes. Landon's face softens as realization dawns on him.

"You're here for your mate, aren't you?" Landon asks softly. At the mention of my mate, my tail begins to wag happily in confirmation.

"His mate?" Leon questions.

"Ryland's brother, Kai. They discovered they're mates today at Xander's party," Landon answers him before placing a hand on his hip. "By the way, it would've been nice if you told me that you and Lyn wouldn't be coming."

The Alpha raises an unamused brow. "Have you ever had twin baby boys to take care of? No? Then fuck off. I barely have enough time for work, let alone socializing."

"Just saying, a heads up would've been nice," Landon grumbles under his breath before sighing and turning to me. "Come on, I'll escort you to the house. I'm sure Kai is going to go crazy when he sees you. He looked pretty devastated after Lucca ran off."

An involuntary whimper escapes me. My mate shouldn't be sad. He should be happy, always. The guards back away from me at Leon's approval and I scramble to my feet. Following Landon, my heart pounds excitedly as we get closer and closer to the house. I can feel our mate bond pulling me towards him, growing stronger and stronger to the point where I don't even need Landon to guide me. Our bond is leading me right to him.

"Kai!" Landon calls out when he sticks his head into the house. I prance anxiously in my spot on the driveway where Landon told me to wait. "Someone's here to see you!"

"Me?" I hear his sweet voice, and I have to suppress a howl. "Why is someone coming to your house to see me? Maybe you misheard them. I've heard old age affects hearing."

"Just get out here, smart ass. And I wouldn't be calling me old, when your mate is the same age as me."

"I never said I have a problem with older guys," Kai laughs while stepping out of the house. His laughter comes to an abrupt halt when our eyes lock, and I can faintly hear his heart racing.

Landon grins, gesturing to me. "Kai, meet Lincoln. Lucca's wolf."

"Wh— how...?" Kai stammers, walking slowly towards me.

"Something tells me Lincoln didn't approve of Lucca walking away earlier," Landon snickers.

"I didn't either," Kai responds, and I mentally smirk. Feisty. Standing only a few feet away, my mate shyly smiles at me. "Hi."

Hi, I want to say, but I settle for wagging my tail. The action causes his smile to widen as he kneels in front of me.

"Wow, so you're Lincoln," Kai breathes out, hesitantly reaching out to me. "Can I?"

As a response, I duck my head under his hand. He giggles, letting his fingers run through my fur. I purr lowly, loving the feeling of electricity bolting through me wherever his fingers graze. He's so beautiful. Dark, silky brown hair. Round, sparkling eyes. Creamy skin that deserves to be caressed and worshipped. Goddess, how the hell did Lucca walk away from him??

"Kieran says hello," Kai tells me, and I tilt my head to the side. "My wolf," he clarifies. "I would shift and let you meet him, but he's feel uncharacteristically shy. Usually he's loud and overconfident in my head, but I guess meeting you put him in his place," he chuckles while shaking his head. "Maybe next time."

Kieran. I haven't even met him and I know that name suits him perfectly. I wag my tail at the promise and lick his hand. Kai squeals as I move to his face, lapping at his cheek.

"Lincoln!" He laughs, nudging me away. His sweet scent of oranges and caramel is now mixed with my scent, making my chest puff out with pride.

He smells like me.

~~~

I can't believe it's been more than two weeks since I've updated this 😖 so sorry guys

Here's what's been going on with me in the past two weeks:

1. My daughter learned to crawl, so now my life is utter chaos

2. I came out to my brothers (they were supportive) and to my parents (they were not supportive)

3. I got outed to other people in my family that I wasn't ready to tell so that sucks ass

4. I got a giant ass playpen for my daughter to crawl around in and it takes up my entire fucking living room

That pretty much sums it up lol. I've also been writing "Fallen Alpha" and "MOTS" so that takes up a bit of my time too
Why do I have so many goddamn books
Anyway this note is getting too long so I'll stop here lmao

👻🎃Happy Halloween!🎃👻

Q: Are you dressing up for Halloween?
[I'm dressing as Spider-Man and my daughter is spider girl]

See you next time!
-Gumbie