you know

there's not a lot of people in this world

that i genuinely wish ill will upon

but i was reminded of the one exception

to this rule as she drove down the driveway

to pick up my little sister for cheer practice

i remember sitting at dinner, 

the last time we ever met each other face to face

and she said, "my biggest fear in life

is that this is the happiest i'll ever be

because if this is my peak

then it's only downhill from here, right?"

and i know she said it just to spite me

and to get a rise out of my petty self

but her unspoken words still linger

"i'm the happiest i've ever been

and my life has never been better

now that you're not in it."

it was the 'now that you're not here'

that wasn't said but heavily implied

that makes me fume with rage even now

so yes

i do

i hope that was the happiest you've ever been

and i hope that one day

you hurt with the fall

and it hurts you just as much as it did me

i hope you feel every ounce 

of the pain you left me in

and i hope that its so visceral

that i can even taste it