Chase

The news of my dad being in the hospital was nothing new to me. It wasn't the first time he'd been there, but for some reason my mom was acting like it was the end of the world.

To say I was sad would be a lie. Don't get me wrong, I loved my dad sure, but to say I was sorry that he was in a hospital wouldn't be the truth. He was 100% conscious when he was drinking, it's not like he didn't know.

The worst thing about him was his personality. Sure, he hit my mom and I a few times but his personality was even worse than his actions.

I got inside his hospital room and my first instinct was to gasp. I didn't even have time to process what I was doing, it just happened.

"What? Surprised to see me like this, son?" I did nothing but stand there like an idiot. Bad choice.

"It's not like I can hurt you if I'm stuck in a bed. Go on, say whatever shit you want to say. I don't really care."

He did it on purpose. That's all I needed, for him to tell me that he hurt us knowing what he was doing. And all this time I let it slide because I thought he was drunk.

"Why do you do it?"

He frowned and made a disgusted face, matching exactly how I felt.

"Seriously kid, I'm probably going to die and that's your question? You're more than an idiot than I thought, then. I told your mother it was a bad idea sending you off to that art school and of course she didn't listen to me." He chuckled, as if insulting his own son was something to laugh about.

I stayed quiet in shock. All my life I had tolerated him and his behavior and frankly I was becoming tired.

"So you shut up now? Took you long enough, if only your mother did the same. Jeez, she's a bigger idiot than you are. I can't imagine where you got that from."

That was it, I'd had enough of him. He went through life putting his family down, drinking his worries away, and letting his stress out on the only two people who cared about him.

"Shut up! If anyone here is an idiot, it's you! You know what? Go screw yourself."

With that, I stormed off, but he wasn't done talking to me.

"I'd rather screw myself than anyone else. Last time I did, you were born!"

I had tears in my eyes and I was more than glad that I was not in the same room as him anymore.

"Only girls cry" he would tell me when I was a child and scraped my knee. "You're a disappointment" he told me in fifth grade when I got a B in math.

My mom saw me enter the waiting room and instantly hugged me. She rubbed my back as more tears came down my eyes. I hated crying. No, he made me hate crying.

"I'm sorry Chase, I really am. How about I drive you back to school?" I nodded between tears and sniffs. The guy had broken me in more ways I thought possible.

The ride "home" was once again silent. I hoped and prayed that my mom would tell me how she was ready to leave him, how he was ready to move on, how she wanted nothing but to make me happy by leaving him.

Instead she said, "Honey, you're leaving to college in a year. You can leave very soon. Please, do me a favor and go as far from here as possible. I don't want you to suffer anymore."

I looked at my crying mother. She couldn't be serious.

"After everything that has happened, you still won't leave him?"

She shook her head and held my hand while holding the wheel with her other hand.

"I can't. I'm scared. And besides, I love him too much to leave him."

How?

How, after everything that has happened since I was young, could she still stand him? How was it that she preferred telling her son to leave as soon as he can instead of leaving her husband?

"Mom..."

"Chase, don't. Just listen to me, please. Your father is still a good man; you just have to look under his skin. Come again next week, bring your friend. He's a good man, he is."

For a moment I wondered whether she was telling me that to convince me he was good or if it was because she needed to convince herself.

"Sure, I'll tell her. But if Roger attempts anything, I'm leaving with or without your permission."

She sighed and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Honey, he's your father. Don't call him that."

My eyes wandered out the window in a poor attempt to calm me down. It didn't work.

"I know you love him, but he's no father to me. He called me a mistake, mom. A man who can call his son that is no father; he's just a sperm donor."

Afterwards she decided there was no point in arguing with me. I had made my mind already.

It was in that moment that I realized that maybe losing a parent isn't the only way to become an orphan. Maybe no longer having a parent who cares for you is the actual meaning of orphan.

•°•°•°•°•

On the way to school my mom decided to stop to eat first. She felt bad about what had happened at the hospital with my dad, so she decided that we go to New York City. It wasn't very far from school, only about half an hour.

When I was younger and my dad was still sober, we would come to the NYC because my parents liked remembering the place where they had met years ago. I had come to love the place as much as them just not for the same reasons.

I liked it there because everyone seemed careless and stress free. I'd driven there a few times in the summer when my parents were asleep. Everything was perfect there in the sleepless city and I could only wish to live there one day with Camila, not as my friend but as my girlfriend or wife. Maybe my mom was right, maybe my escape place could be NYC.

We entered a small café close to Central Park. I'd never seen it before, but I was more than excited to go inside.

We sat at a small table near the exit. A waitress came with a smile on her face. She had short brown hair and blue eyes, an odd combination.

"Hi! My name is Emma and I'll be your waitress. Is there anything you'd like to order first? We have a new vanilla cappuccino and it's delicious!"

She flashed us her smile, she was pretty.

My mom looked up from her menu to our waitress. "We'll have two of those and I'll have a croissant. Chase?" Both girls looked at me expectantly and I looked down at the menu embarrassed.

"I, uh, I'll have a slice of chocolate cake, please." I smiled politely and folded the menu up.

She nodded and headed back to the coffee machines.

"I'm going to the bathroom, be back in a bit. Don't try to run away, please, I don't have the energy to go find you and tell your dad what you did."

How my mom knew I was planning to leave while she wasn't looking, I don't know, but that's my mom. She knows everything.

The waitress came back with both coffees when my mom was gone. I looked at the cup as if it were my enemy, unaware that the waitress, Emma, was speaking to me.

"I know it's not my business, but you seem mad. Are you okay?"

Only then did I realize I was angry and sad. I wasn't okay. My dad was an idiot, I mean, I already knew that but the fact that he openly admitted it made me even angrier. Also, I was crushing on two girls and neither of them cared about me in the same away.

"I'm not okay actually. But you don't have to ask, it's okay."

She shook her head and made a motion that she was trying to sit, but decided against it. It was probably against the rules for her to sit with a costumer.

"I don't have to, but I know that look. It's the look of a broken heart. I've worn it too many times to miss it anywhere."

I took a nervous sip from my coffee. Could I trust this stranger? Well, maybe that was the point. She didn't know me, it'd be easier to talk to her.

"Would you mind listening to the dumb problems of a teenage boy?"

She laughed as if what I said brought back memories.

"Shoot."

I told her about what my dad had said to me, I left the part that he hit me out, of course. I told her how I was falling for two girls, one that was my best friend and the other that was my best friend's only other friend.

Emma sighed and pursed her lips.

"My shift ends in a few minutes, do you think we could go to the park and talk? I've been in a similar situation and I think I could help you."

I nodded and grabbed my phone to text my mom.

I'm going to the park to clear my head. You can drink your coffee calmly, see you in the car afterwards?

"Sure."

I got locked inside the bathroom, but sure. I'll see you in the car in a while.

Five minutes later Emma and I were walking around the park near the little café. I started telling her about my problem with Camila and Taylor. I had decided early on that maybe the issue with my dad wasn't something I wanted to talk to her about.

"Okay, so let me see if I understand. You like your best friend, but she likes another guy and you think you wouldn't have a chance with her either way.

I nodded. It sounded pathetic coming from the mouth of someone else.

"But you also like your best friend's new friend?"

I nodded again. I looked like an idiot nodding over and over to everything she was saying.

"And how do you know she doesn't like you too? Your best friend, I mean. For instance, when I was in high school I fell for one of my best friends, Shawn. I really, really liked him, but I knew all of my friends would judge me if I admitted I like him.

"It's not exactly the same situation, but it's similar. And what do you know, maybe your best friend likes you back but is too afraid to say so. Maybe she thinks you don't like her and settled for someone she thinks she does have a chance with.

"You should tell her how you feel. And if she doesn't like you back, then screw it. You can be friends either was. Heck, I was friends with Shawn for a long while I knew he liked me. It's going to be okay, I promise. And besides, it's better to take a leap of faith and maybe fall on clouds than keep quiet and lose the person you love to someone else. I'm telling you from experience; don't keep your feelings hidden kid. It doesn't work."

Emma stayed silent and I couldn't help but wonder what she had been through with this guy, Shawn, to make her talk like she had lost him forever.

"Thanks Emma. I think I'll tell her. You've been of great help."

She gave me a heartwarming smile and a hug. I never thought I'd hug a stranger.

"I'm glad I was of assistance. It's funny how sometimes a stranger can provide a different point of view, huh?"

She was right. So much for stranger danger.

"This might be weird, but can I get your number? That way I can tell you how it goes."

Emma smiled as she took her phone out of her pocket. I typed her number on my phone as fast as I could. Suddenly, I wanted nothing but to get to school as fast as I could.

"Wait, sorry, what's your name?"

"Emma Reynolds at your service. Call me whenever you need something, okay? Remember I already went through that pain called high school. I may or may not have a few tricks up my sleeve."

We both laughed. If it weren't for the fact that I still wasn't sure what I was going to do with my life I could definitely see us hanging out in the future. I had made a friend and it was in the simplest way possible.

"I'll send you a text so you can save my number. Chase Harding, by the way. Nice to meet you by the way."

We said our goodbyes and I walked down the street to my mom's car. I hadn't missed how Emma hadn't given me any advice with Taylor, but I guessed maybe she thought it wouldn't go well either way. Hopefully Emma would be right and Camila was actually afraid of telling me her feelings. It was a long shot, but I was willing to go for it.

It was risky telling her how much I liked her, how I'd liked her since we were in freshman year. Of course I would never grow a pair to tell her in person, but I had a feeling she wouldn't mind if I wrote her a song. 

Emma made a cameo!!!😭😭

I thought I wouldn't mention her or Shawn ever again, but the opportunity to put her in this chapter was too good not to use. I couldn't keep myself from getting her in the plot. I haven't exactly let go from my babies from I'sGTFIL yet.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was really interesting (in my opinion) and now you get to see a little bit into Chase's life at home and why he has the anger issues mentioned in his past chapter.