Camila

Chase started to lean in and the only thing I could do was think of all the possible scenarios of how it would all fall apart. Don't get me wrong, I wanted nothing but to kiss him, but he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend. I wasn't the type of girl to steal another girl's boy or cheat. That just wasn't me.

Yet for some reason I didn't find myself telling him to stop, instead I was the one to lean in when he was about to pull away. I would like to say that I was more surprised of my behavior than him, but that would be a lie.

I wished I would've stopped as soon as I felt his lips, but I didn't. I just couldn't. Wasn't that what I had wanted for so long?

I expected him to pull away when I kissed him, but he did something just as surprising as me kissing him - he kissed me back. From the way his lips moved against mine I could tell I wasn't the only one who had longed for that kiss in a long time. And by the way he stroked my hair in the middle of it all I knew he felt the same as I did.

Stopping the kiss wasn't in my to-do list, but what I was doing was wrong. What happened to me? We were both taken; I was kissing my best friend! I was about to ruin one of the best things in my life because I couldn't control my hormones. Is that seriously the kind of girl I was?

I pulled away abruptly, startling him to the core. Chase looked at me with hurt in his eyes. I wanted nothing but to unhurt him, and the only way to do that was by kissing him again, but I couldn't. I knew our kiss would cause us enough pain for the rest of the year and kissing him again would just make things worse. So why was I leaning in for another kiss?

This time the kiss wasn't as good, but it was still amazing. At least we were both prepared. If it was up to me I would have spent the rest of the day there on the floor kissing Chase, but suddenly a wave of guilt washed over me. Once again I pulled away from him, but this time I didn't kiss him again. This time, I ran.

I sat on the stairs in front of his porch, thinking. Since when was I one of those girls? I expected myself to feel more guilty than what I did, but instead I found myself wondering if now Chase would think I was a weirdo for kissing him and running away. If there was very little chance of us forgetting what happened before then now it would probably haunt us forever.

Chase arrived minutes after, panting. It probably took him a while to process what happened before he came back. His eyes searched my face for any sign of... I don't even know. Signs of life? Signs of feelings? The pain in his eyes was still there and it hurt like hell knowing it was my fault. I had spent so much time angry and wanting to hurt any and every person who hurt him and yet there I was, hurting him.

"I'm sorry. I-I don't know what came over me. Really, I'm sorry. It was a mistake." A small tear fell down his face. I blew it, I'd hurt him again.

"So it was a mistake? That's what you think?" I began to stand up and walk up to him, but his hand in front of me stopped me.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it. But you're with Taylor and I'm with Leo. It was a mistake because we're in relationships, not because it was you. If kissing you was a mistake then I would gladly make the same mistake over and over again."

"Yeah...whatever you say. Let's just forget it happened and say nothing. Is that okay?"

"I don't kiss and tell, Chase."

"You should get ready to go."

He went inside the house with a scowl on his face. A scowl I had caused. I'd screwed up bad, again. I watched as he walked looking for his mom and frankly I don't think seeing him walk away had ever hurt so much.

The car ride with Myra was a fresh relief from the awkward aftermath of the kiss. I knew I should have felt guilty, but I couldn't, so I depended on the comfort of a foreign car. The first few miles of the ride were as silent as the dorms at night, and as much as I dreaded it, it gave me time to think.

Talking to Chase seemed like the aproppiate thing to do, what I still was struggling to make a plan of was how I would talk to Taylor and Leo. If I wanted to tell them the truth I would destroy one of the only friendships Chase and I had besides each other. I had gotten myself in a complete mess and I had no idea how to fix it, there was no way I could do anything without someone getting hurt.

My thoughts were soon interrupted by Myra, who for some reason had been staring at me for a while as if I was hiding something. Could it be that she knew about the kiss?

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "What do you think of Chase? And tell me the truth, don't feel obligated to sugar coat your feelings." I nodded again and thought. She definietly knew.

A million things that I could say crossed my mind. He was the boy I'd been in love with since I was a freshman, the only person who helped me sleep at night, the first person I thought of when I woke up and the last when I went to sleep, he was the boy of my dreams. But did I really want to tell his mother all that? That sounded like a dangerous play, and I'm all about being safe.

"I love him very much and I'm lucky to have a friend like him." She smiled at my answer and kept driving silently. Maybe telling the truth wasn't so bad.

A few minutes later Chase's mom broke the silence again, asking me if I could do her a favor. I said yes thinking that it would be something simple like changing the radio station or something, but when she spoke and told me what it was, I sat there in complete shock having no idea how to react.

"So, my oncologist told me-"

"I'm sorry, your what? Oncologist? But..."

The shock of her sentence didn't even let me finish mine. If my understanding of the word was correct then an oncologist is cancer doctor. But why would Myra have cancer? According to Chase, she was the healthiest person in the world. It made zero sense.

"I know, Chase has not mentioned it. It's because he doesn't know. I suppose you know about his sudden surges of wanting to hit things, and I'm afraid he'll go crazy thinking he'll stay alone with his father."

I breathed in and tried to control the anger that was soon rising inside of me. Why hadn't she told him? She was his mother! And instead of telling her own son first, she told me.

But she had a point. I knew Chase would explode if he found out. I had the small suspicion that his broken ankle was a product of his anger issues, and that was triggered by a small argument. If he was capable of breaking a bone out of pure jealousy, what would he do out of anger and fear for his father?

"What do you need?"

She smiled and shook her head. I heard her say something under her breath, but it was so low that I wouldn't have heard her even if I had supersonic hearing.

"Look, I'm going to tell him soon, not in person because I can't control him but if what he says is true then you're the only one who can. I need you to please help him control his anger when I tell him." I nodded, still recovering from the initial shock of her confession. I put my hand on her shoulder as a failed attempt to comfort her.

"Don't worry, I'll help him. He won't ever be alone as long as we're friends, I promise."

"Thank you, sweetie."

I went over the conversation, slowly this time, until the realization hit me. Chase's mom was dying. Chase, the beautiful boy with the awful life was going to lose the one thing that kept him sane growing up. He was going to lose his mother. Losing a friend is painful, but losing a parent? That must be hell.

"How much time do you have left?" I said, surprised at the faint sound of my voice.

Small tears started to fall down her face. "A few months. Hopefully I'll be able to go to his graduation but... I won't be here for more than a year."

"I am so very sorry, I wish I could be able to do something but-"

"I know, I know. But the only thing you can do for me is promise me you won't leave him alone, and you already promised that, so thank you."

"You are very welcome, Mrs. Harding."

I'm honestly so satisfied with this chapter, this is awesome.

Also, thoughts on the story so far?