"We absolutely can not do that."

I shrugged and smiled up at Phoenix, who stared at the sight in front of us. Even though his expression said he wasn't sure about the decision we were about to make, part of me knew he wanted it just as much as I did. He was just a little more reasonable than me.

"Why can't we?" I asked, ‌trying to mimic Rimmy in my arms, who also gave his dad big puppy eyes.

Phoenix glanced at me, then Rim, and then back at me. His trusting green eyes sparkled with a hint of amusement that gave me the literal green light to do what I knew we both wanted to. We'd discussed it beforehand, after all. Phoenix had just gotten cold feet now that we were here.

"Because..." He sighed and studied the few dozen dogs of the animal shelter. "We already have one that's deaf. How the hell are we supposed to keep another one that's blind?" he asked, pointing at the German Shepherd on the other side of the fence. She was the prettiest dog I'd ever seen, even with — or maybe because of — her light eyes, revealing her disability.

As if to answer Phoenix's question, Rimmy jumped from my arms and ran toward the fence, where Xenia and him now sniffed each other with wagging tails. The two barked and licked and did whatever they needed to communicate, and ended up rubbing their heads against each other before they fell into the grass. Even Phoenix had to sigh now, his features softening slowly.

"Well, I mean, Rimmy seems to like her." I hugged Phoenix from behind, interlacing our fingers while I pressed a kiss at the sensitive spot behind his ear. "And I mean, what's one more dog, right? We're already pros."

Glancing over his shoulder, Phoenix raised a brow at me. "Xenia is twice as big as Rimmy. This is a whole new challenge."

"I know." I smiled. "But don't we like challenges? Besides, my parents and your mom also agreed they'd help whenever we can't take them with us. And this way, Rimmy gets a play buddy wherever he goes. That would take a lot off our shoulders, too."

Phoenix sighed, now turning to wrap his arms over my shoulders and face me. "I don't know. I'm just afraid it'll get too much with everything going on already."

His furrowed brows told me he was sincere, and I could practically feel his worry when he pulled me into a quick but relieving hug. The strain of the past months had started to wear off, but all the post-championship-hype had followed us even outside of the paddock. Winning the championship hadn't just meant that Phoenix had achieved his goals and dreams, it'd also meant he had to live up to the expectations a world champion had to face.

At the beginning, it'd been pure chaos. It'd taken all of two weeks for the media to calm down, which only happened because we flew to Phoenix's hometown in Ireland and went undercover. Now that things had settled and we had some time to recharge, it was time we created our new reality, and lived our lives the way we always wanted them to. Sure, we had to keep extra security around now, and sure, we had to be more careful whenever we left the safety of our home, but that didn't stop us from doing what we loved.

Still, I knew this entire ordeal had been a lot harder on Phoenix than it'd been on me, even though this had been and always would be his dream.

"Listen," I said, cupping Phoenix's face with my hands. "I know testing is starting soon, and I know why you're concerned. But we've talked about this and we've thought everything through, just so both us and the dogs would be happy. They'd be able to stay with us for most of the season when we're in Europe traveling with motorhomes, and the other times we got enough people to help us out. We've found a great solution that would not only give Rimmy a playmate, but would also let Xenia live in a loving home instead of a temporary shelter."

I glanced at the poor pup, who just at that moment ran into a fence, winced slightly, and shook her head. Rimmy instantly wobbled up to help her, licking her face soothingly. It was hard not to grin at the adorable couple. They were already so in love.

"That being said..." I focused back on Phoenix. "This is a relationship decision. I can't do this alone. She'd be your dog as much as she'd be mine, so if you genuinely think we cannot or should not do this, then we won't. I trust you and won't make a move without you."

Phoenix glanced over at the pair, watching how they now lay on the grass next to each other, Xenia's paw now protectively covering Rimmy's neck. "They're so adorable," he mumbled and then looked back at me, his eyes roaming my face. I tried showing him how I felt, hoping he'd see just how much we both had benefited from having Rimmy around. A second dog would only multiply that happiness, right?

"You're lucky I love you." He finally sighed, and I grinned.

"I love you, too. And yes, I am."

"So am I, though."

I nodded. "Yup. We really won the lottery."

Phoenix's chuckle seeped straight into my bones, and my heart picked up a beat when he brushed a strand of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. The motion was so gentle that I felt myself leaning in, just bathing in the scent of him and the sensation of his soft fingers on my cheek. It'd never cease to amaze me how potent his effect on me was, and I never wanted it to.

If this was what my future was going to look like, then I'd embrace it with open arms.

"Okay." Phoenix sighed, shaking his head. "It's not like I could ever refuse anything you want. You're damn near irresistible, Florence Lucia Nyx."

My heart skipped a beat, then another one, until finally, it soared.

"Does that mean yes to the dogs?"

"Yes, that means yes to all the damn dogs you want."

"All the dogs?" I asked with wide eyes. "I mean, there's a dalmatian that only has one eye and—"

But Phoenix shut me up with a kiss that made my head spin, completely disregarding any thought of more dogs. For now, at least.

Because for now it was about us, about the decisions we made with one another, for each other. Never in my life had I thought I'd meet someone who so perfectly knew what I wanted and needed, all while standing up for his own desires and opinions. It was important to me Phoenix knew this was an us-decision, considering we shared a life together now. Yes, we were still independent and spent more than enough time away from each other as we continued our own hobbies and followed our dreams, but we still shared a life together. That meant compromises, discussions, and hell, even fights.

But that's just it.

I wanted them all — all the fights, all the talks, all the disagreements. They were a sign of passion, and most of all...

A sign of love, reality, and life.

***

The sunflowers in my parents' backyard danced with the light wind, even if most of them weren't blooming at the beginning of February. Still, their stems moved with the airflow, almost hypnotizing me.

"You'll catch a cold." The words were accompanied by a jacket thrown over my shoulder, mom's familiar warmth now seeping into me as she rubbed my arms.

"I'm fine." I smiled, picking up a toy Xenia had dropped by my feet and then throwing it back out into the yard. She rushed after it, listening to where the wind carried her dinosaur, before it finally plopped to the ground.

"Florence," my mother said, and I didn't have to look at her to know she wouldn't care if I said I was fine. She wanted me to wear the jacket, so I'd wear the jacket.

Those were the rules. At least in her house.

And so I slipped into the sleeves, embracing the warmth this leather fabric offered me. I had to admit — the warmth soothed me instantly, and I couldn't help but smirk at my mother's incredible way of knowing whatever I needed. She truly was always right.

"How are you, sweetheart?" she asked, linking her arm with mine as she, too, watched the dogs play in her backyard. "With everything, I mean. You had a rough season."

I couldn't help but laugh at that poor description of what must've been the most hectic year of my life. "Yeah, that was one hell of a season, for sure." I bent over when Rimmy ran into my legs, his wheels toppling over in the process. He'd become much better at using them, but I still had to help him back on his feet every once in a while.

"But I'm good," I said when Rimmy was back on his wheels and running toward Xenia, who now digressed to chewing a stick. "Perfect, even. It's weird, honestly."

"What is weird?"

"That life feels so content now," I admitted, looking over at my mom. Her dark-gray hair tied into a bun that seemed to hold her mess effortlessly. "I mean, just that everything's in order, you know. Sebastian is in jail for at least ten years, Phoenix has a three-year contract with Azure, as do I. Rafael has a secure future in the sport, and even though he has some other stuff to figure out," my mother agreed with a roll of her eyes, "he seems to be happy. So do you, and Dad. It's just all... I don't know."

"Too good to be true?" Mom asked, smiling up at me.

"Yeah, kind of. Like the end of an era."

"Would that be so bad?"

Her question made me study her for a second. My mother had always been beautiful, but you'd always seen the strain Dad's career had put on her, stress etched into her features. And while she obviously still worried about Rafi, who'd always been more of a mother's boy, she looked truly relaxed now. Her eyes held that glimmer, one you thought you would've seen in a teenage girl who'd just fallen in love for the first time. After thirty years of marriage and raising kids, she still — or yet again — held that spark in her eyes, joy clearly defining her features.

I'd always strived to find that same kind of love, and wished that I, too, would forever look like a love-struck teenager. If anyone could manage that, it was Phoenix. I was sure of it.

So if starting a new chapter of my life meant finding that happiness, exploring joy and passion with every fiber of my being, then no. It wouldn't be that bad.

"Probably not," I thus replied. "And thank you, ma."

"For what?"

"For not judging me."

"Hija," she whispered, brows furrowed. "What would I judge you for? You live your life the way you want to. All I want is for you to be happy. Besides, if I had any say in anything my children do, I surely wouldn't have let my son become a race driver."

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"True." I shook my head, allowing her words to settle. "But, you know. I see so many women out there feeling judged for the career or life choices they make. It means a lot to me that neither Dad nor you put any of that pressure on me. You never made me feel like I had to justify who I am with you, and that allowed me to grow into the person I am now. The person I love so deeply. So thank you for that."

My mother's glassy eyes met mine, and I had a hard time swallowing my own tears. Dad always said we were too strong for our own good, and especially when conversing with one another, it was hard for both Mom and me to find a middle ground that allowed us to show the emotions we needed to convey sometimes. Talks like these just showed how much progress we'd made.

"I am your mother," she whispered, brushing her hand through my hair and facing me directly. "It is my job to make sure you can live a life with all the love you deserve, whichever way love looks for you. In the end, you are my pride and joy, no matter how you decide to live your life."

Nodding, I wiped a stray tear from my cheek and wrapped my mom in a hug. She pulled me in tightly, allowing me to feel all her motherly love. All those years after dad's accident where we'd had to keep it together kept flashing back to me, a reminder that a bond as strong as ours was rare to find. I'd learned early on in my life that I wouldn't take my family for granted, and promised to never do so, either.

I hoped I came true to it.

"Is this a hugging party? And I'm not invited?" Rafi's voice made me move back, but I was pushed back into Mom's chest when I felt his big arms from behind, embracing both Mom and me. "Ah, perfect. The two most beautiful women in my arms."

"Rafael!" Mom laughed, wiggling out of his grasp, but Rafi only made things worse when he ruffled her hair.

We were a tall bunch, but Rafi had always been the tallest of us, his blue eyes now glimmering with excitement as he looked down at her. "What? It's true!"

"You're becoming more and more like your father." Mom shook her head.

"Looking at what Dad's achieved in his years on this earth, I'll definitely take that as a compliment."

"Aww, son. You flatter me." Dad appeared by the terrace door, a wide grin on his face. "I hope for your sake you'll stop looking like me soon, though. Wouldn't wish that hairline onto anyone."

Rafael nodded, wiggling his index finger while he studied dad's hair. "True. I'll stick with Mom's genes for the future."

"That's what I'm talking about." Dad held out his fist, allowing Rafi to bump it with his own. "Now, Isla, I need your help before I end up setting the kitchen on fire."

Mom sighed. "What did you do?"

"Well, you wanted lasagna, so..."

With a shake of her head, Mom shot me one last reassuring smile, and then pushed Dad and herself back inside. I couldn't help but watch how she ran a frustrated hand through her hair as soon as she saw the mess Dad had made, who simply looked up at his wife like a lost puppy. The dynamic between these two would never cease to amaze me.

"So." Rafael's arm coming around my shoulders distracted me from my parents, his warm eyes meeting mine. "How do you feel about the start of the season?"

I sighed, wrapping one arm around his waist while the both of us watched Rimmy running around the yard, Xenia right on his tail. "Excited. Worried. Anxious. Confident... You know. The usual."

My brother's laugh, but especially the way he pulled me closer into his arms, warmed my heart. I couldn't help but look up at him, his gaze pensive but eager as he glanced down at me. "I know you'll do a spectacular job."

"Thanks... What about you, though? Are you looking forward to next season?"

The sigh coming from his throat made me furrow my brows. Rafi had always valued his privacy, even if he didn't hide his feelings as well as he thought he was. It was easy for me to read him, usually. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wished he were more open with me. More honest about what bothered him, so I could help, or hell, just listen.

"I've made a lot of mistakes this year, Flo. And I'm sorry for all of them." He shot me a thin smile. "But I learned a hell of a lot through all of it, and I just hope I'll be able to do it all this year."

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "You've always been the stronger out of the two of us. Just because I'm the big brother and haven't told you how much I appreciated everything you've done for... well, this entire family, doesn't mean I haven't seen it. Looking back on it, I feel like a complete asshole."

"Raf..."

"No, Flo. It's true. You've done all this work at home and for Mom and Dad, all while pursuing one of the most impressive careers I've seen in my life."

"Your career is also taking off." I couldn't help but remind him.

Rafi smiled, his eyes meeting mine. "Maybe. But I had it much easier than you. While you were at home, taking care of Dad and Mom as well as getting your engineering degree, I was out racing day and night, and no one said a word. You brought a championship to a team that was failing, in a sport that was made for men. You've achieved the impossible. What did I do? I lived in Dad's legacy, desperately trying to make a name for myself, not even caring how my family or friends felt about it. I'm not sure if our lives even compare."

My heart ached for my big brother, for the boy who'd had so much pressure on himself and his name. Much more than I'd probably ever realized.

"They don't," I retorted with a smile. "Our lives don't compare, because they shouldn't. We're different people with different characters and ambitions, that doesn't mean either of us is wrong in being who they are. Just because I cared for this family more than you did, doesn't mean you haven't had your fair share of sacrifices, either."

Truth was, I wasn't stupid. I — or, well, anyone with any sense of emotions — had seen the way he looked at Amara, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why he hadn't pursued her, yet. Aside from her being my best friend, he also knew what it meant to be part of this family, to be in the public eye 24/7, to uphold the reputation society had laid on us.

"There's a lot of pressure on your shoulders, Rafi. We all know that. Why do you think Dad never used any of his connections to try and get you to the top?" I asked, not surprised by the furrowed brows my brother displayed in response. "We all know how much you've worked to get to where you are. You're not about to race for the championship because you're a Nyx. You're doing that because you're an incredibly talented driver, who sacrificed time with his family and friends to get to the top. The fact that you spent all that time racing while I was home with Mom and Dad wasn't heartless or selfish. The two of us did the same thing — we followed our passion, worked hard for our careers. Mine was just a bit more family-friendly than yours."

Rafael's lips twitched into a smile, and his grasp around my shoulders tightened as he pulled me into a hug that made my heart soar. "You keep forgetting you're the younger sibling, with your wise words and all."

"And you keep forgetting that's just on paper. It's all about—"

"About what's in your head, I know." He chuckled, releasing the hug but still keeping his arm around my shoulders. His brotherly gaze searched mine, and I could practically feel the emotion releasing with the sigh coming from his lips before he stared back out at the yard again, obviously gathering his thoughts. "What is it Mom and you say all the time? Only I make my worth?"

"Only you can define your worth." I smiled, surprised he even remembered that saying. I hadn't realized he'd heard it as well. "You have a hell of a lot of worth to define, dear brother."

He grinned, his eyes now sparkling with excitement and that twinge of competitiveness the two of us had always shared. "Well, guess I'll have to do so next season, huh?"

"Does that mean you'll actually try and be faster than us?"

"Ouch!" He threw his hands on his chest. "So cruel."

"I mean, we are the fastest out there..."

"Until I catch up with you." Rafael grinned and took a step back, his hand stretched out to me.

"What are you doing?" I laughed.

"Making a promise."

"A promise?"

"Yeah. I promise to be faster than you next season, whether you like it or not."

I couldn't help but laugh at his overconfidence. A glimpse of who I knew Rafael really was now finally resurfacing within my big brother.

With a shake of my head, I took his hand in mine. "And I promise not to take it easy on you. You know my cars are fast as hell."

"Good." He grinned. "'Cause so am I."

"Let's go and define our worth, then."

Rafel slung his arm over my shoulders, turning and pulling me back into our childhood home.

"Let's go and define our worth, Flo."

Author's Note

Alright, folks.

I don't know if you could read between the lines in this chapter, but I am strongly considering to continue this universe by writing another book about Rafael Nyx. I've drafted up a few chapters (none of which I'm 100% content with) so I'm still trying to get a feel for the story, if it's something that I'd realistically see myself writing again.

Formula 1 is a passion of mine and it's been so much fun writing this book, that I just can't see myself not writing another one, lol. No promises though, I'll keep you in the loop about anything like that so you guys know what's happening. I'm slowly starting to regain my writing spirit, so chapters are coming more easily than not, but that doesn't mean they're all good. I also have a lot more projects to work on than you might think, so it's all a bit much sometimes.

That being said, next chapter should be the last for this story, as it'll be the Epilogue. I'm really damn heartbroken to say goodbye to these two, but in the end, it's time.

Some of you may know that I'm a HUGE Sebastian Vettel fan, and with his retiring announcement yesterday, this actually feels kind of fitting. Guess all good things must come to an end, huh?

Not gonna lie, though, I bawled my eyes out when I watched the video explaining his decision. I seriously recommend you all to watch it -- he's a bit like what I Jeremiah imagine to be like. Down to earth and just the best person out there.

Alright, long author's note short: Stay tuned for more and new things, and definitely worship our highness, Sebastian Vettel, aka Dad of the paddock, so he gets one more win before he gets to spend time with his family.

Lots of love to all of you,

Jane

P.S.: here's my favorite pic of Seb, in memory of all the love he's given to this sport ❤️

What more can I say? RING DING DING DING ❤️