The cool grey interior of the Lawless brought anything but comfort as I struggled against Issac's iron-clad hold. It took everything he had to keep hold of me, his muscles a steel strain against my body. I watched as the bay door accented, latching shut with a final clunk and my heart shattered. How can he just leave her? Didn't he love her? He loved her enough to keep me from the Hive, enough to wipe my memories of him, and simply because she wished it. 

It sounded as if a foreign beast from another universe had shrieked their last will and testament at their executioner before the inevitable end. Each word vocalized as if it were the only one in the sentence. If this was what absolute heartbreak felt like I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

"You. Monster!" I wailed as I finally slipped from his grasp. In a single pivot, I confronted him, my fists a heavy thud against his muscled chest- each blow in time with the words that tumbled through tear-stained lips. "You heartless. Fucking. Monster! I hate you!"

"You don't mean that..." Ted stood a few feet away, his expression torn. He looked shaken up, I'm sure we all were on some level, but I couldn't care less how any of them felt. Not one of them should have chosen to leave her. She was my mother. If anyone was granted the choice to leave it should have been me.

The vigor in which my fists connected with Isaac slowed. My tears did not. In the past three years, I spent two of them at odds with this man. When we first met he seemed like yet another ex-military type. Rule bound and perpetually correct. Then the truth came out. The level of betrayal I had felt from the reveal had stayed with me after that. He had lied to me, refused to clue me in on the reality I lived in. It had to be a poetic irony that we found ourselves here once again, faced with another truth too large to stomach.

He stood before me as my father now and honestly, it was the last word that came to mind at the thought of him. The bitter laugh that escaped me sounded half-mad through the grief as my eyes sought out Isaac's. "You may be my father by blood but I will never call you my dad."

The pain that glinted in his pupils sparked a satisfied glow in my gut. I wanted to punish him, to cause him equal, if not more, trama than he'd inflicted on me. It seemed only fair to withhold the only thing he had left in this universe. Me.

Ted let out a low whistle from Isaac's side. "That's a bitch move even for you Logan."

My eyes shot to where Ted shifted back and forth, a nervous tick I'd grown accustomed to. Our confrontation made him uncomfortable. Good. If he was going to take Isaac's side then he was dead to me too. Fuck em all. "I didn't see you do a damn thing to help," I spat at him, my eyes piercing his. "You're just as bad as the MIB."

Ted's hands raised, his palms faced towards me in surrender. He obviously didn't want to get involved but it was too late, he had voiced his opinion. "Woah there, I think you need to simmer down. We're just trying to help."

My eyes shot daggers at Ted. "Guess that explains why you were useless once again. Real friends actually help."

Ted's mouth opened as if to say something but Isaac spoke first, his voice low and vacant of emotion. "I think we all need some space." He motioned for Ted to accompany him.

Isaac turned his back to me and Ted followed suit. Were they really just going to walk away, like my feelings, my mother, didn't matter? The wave of anguish that rolled through me damn near suffocated me, sucking all the oxygen from the room.

"You're just going to walk away? Not going to defend yourself? No excuse?" 

Isaac continued on his path, his shoulders tense but loose enough not to elicit a reaction to my taunts. Typical.

"Coward!" I barked after him now desperate for any kind of reaction on his part. I hated it when he stone-walled me, it wasn't fair.

"Enough!" His voice boomed through the corridor.

With deliberate ease, he turned to face me, his expression firm and dark. "Leaving was your mother's wish, not mine. I would have fought till the bitter end if that's what she wanted. It wasn't. Morgan never wanted you to set foot in the hive. She never wanted that life for you. Respect her final wishes."

He gave me his back with those final words and continued on his way towards the command deck. Ted hesitated for a moment before he too took the same path, leaving me alone in the loading bay with only my thoughts as a companion. I could feel the fresh hot tears roll down my face, the feeling of complete abandonment settling in my chest.

Good job Logan, you managed to push everyone away.

Belated, I allowed my knees to buckle beneath me as exhaustion, both mentally and physically, descended upon me. A significant amount had happened in the short span of a few days. My body couldn't keep up the pace any longer. The hairline fractures groaned before the flood gates broke and this time I didn't attempt to repair the damage.

I wept for the uncovered truth of my existence and the grave implications knowing brought with it. I mourned the father I'd been forced to forget and the monster he turned out to be.  But mostly I sobbed in the most undignified way for the needless sacrifice my mother made and the potential future she ripped from my fingertips.

words- 988
total- 21217
written- 05/02/2020
last edited- 05/02/2020