How did anyone survive a broken heart? My body had felt as though my soul had been torn from it, hollow and lifeless. I'd lost count of how long we'd been back on the ship. Has it been two days or three? Time moved differently when you refused to leave your quarters.

No one had come to check on me since we escaped the hive. I wondered how exactly we managed to get away so easily. Was it because of my mother or did sheer dumb luck happen to smile upon us? The answers weren't enough to motivate me to leave though. Nothing did.

In a sick way, I was almost glad. With my mother being dead and my dad being the dick-head he was, I couldn't imagine a single thing worth living for. In one day everything I held dear was snatched from me.

They sure called that one...

A soft rap echoed off the walls, not loud enough to snap me from my stupor but barely enough to seize my attention. The knock didn't belong to Ted, his was far more sporadic and Isaac's tended to be a firm formal one. That left only one person, Nix.

I lay on my bed, back to the door in the fetal position. Not that it brought any sort of comfort, though I did feel less alone that way. The gentle groan the thing made let me know she had entered, even if her footsteps couldn't be detected. Wordlessly she seated herself on the edge of the cot, the cushion cradling her weight. For a good bit, we stayed like that, neither of us sure what to say to the other.

"This is a lot harder than I thought it would be." Nix's voice was quiet, thoughtful, as she spoke. Something weighed on her mind but I didn't care one way or the other. No reply was offered on my part, only extended silence. If she wanted to say something she'd have to spit it out, I wasn't about to prompt.

"I met your mother when you were only a year old," She mused in a tone of sorrow. "You were just as spirited and I found it amusing how you ran Isaac ragged, we both did. Maybe that's why she chose me."

Slow tears began to slip from my eye sockets, wet sandpaper on my weary orbs. Her too. Somehow, all the adults in my life managed to keep secrets, important ones, the kind I had every right to know. I had hoped that Nix would share my shocked state, but she too knew that Isaac was my father. I truly had no one left.

"Morgan loved you fiercely. There wasn't a thing she wouldn't do for you... When she asked Isaac to wipe your memories..." Nix paused her voice heavy with uncertainty. "Well, to be frank, I'd had a few choice words with her. I hadn't known about her past or the potential future you all faced but it wasn't long until her past finally caught up and everything fell apart."

Her words, though she may have felt landed on deaf ears, rattled around in my skull. So much history- my history -that no one had dared to explain. I could have applied this information in years past. Why was it so pertinent for me to know now? The damage had been done and the casualties were overwhelming.

Still, words refused to grace my lips. Nothing Nix could say would change anything.

Her weight shifted, no more than a centimeter and a heavy sigh left her. "A parent would do anything to keep their child safe, including making the ultimate sacrifice so they don't have to suffer the way they had. For Isaac that was wiping any trace of your past from your memory. For your mother..."

"Then why did I remember my mother? If he was supposed to take it all away why didn't he?" My words startled both me and Nix. Nothing made sense. If he truly meant to take away my memories then he'd failed.

Nix let out a small chuckle. "It wasn't for lack of trying. It didn't matter how many times he tried, you would always continue to dig, to search for your mother. The conclusion was your Eternite bond with her was strong enough to overcome the neuro cleanse."

Knowing that I shared such a deep-rooted bond with my mother brought on a new wave of grief. He knew we were connected and he still let her die. "I know you're trying to help but it's only making things worse," I confess on a shaky exhale, my eyes glued to the wall I still laid before. "I won't forgive him Nix, I can't."

Before she entered I had felt almost numb like the anger and pain finished its cycle and there was nothing left for it to do. Deception and resentment flowed through my threads now, a deadly magma that would spew at the slightest prompt. I wanted it all to come to an end. The anger I could deal with but this anguish I felt in the depths of my chest was unmanageable.

"No one is asking you to, especially me. You have every right to be pissed as hell and grief-stricken after a loss like your mother." Nix stood and strode over to the still closed door to my chamber. Part of me wanted to roll over and look at her but I resisted. "When you're ready to have your questions answered know that both I and Isaac are both prepared to answer them with complete transparency."

The door groaned as if slid open. I wasn't ready, not yet at least, to sit down or even face Isaac. The idea of seeing his face caused my heart to ache painfully. I did have one question though, one that Nix would know the answer to and could answer before she took her leave.

"Nix," I called after her, my body unmoving from its position. When silence greeted me rather than the swish of a closed-door I took that as an invitation to continue. "Where are we going now?"

The woman let out a breathy sigh. "Somewhere far away, further than we've ever traveled. Someplace new."

The door groaned before it clicked back into place leaving me in the way I'd been found, sealed away in my cocoon of solitude and unrest.

Someplace new, huh?

I liked the sound of that.

words- 1077
total- 22088
written- 02/03/2020
last edited- 05/03/2020