A/N - trigger warning mentions of an attempted suicide -> there is a warning in bold letters so that you can skip over anything that might upset you <3

     Keith had never found much joy, in anything really. He spent his entire childhood jumping from one home to another. No one ever really liked him. No family could ever give love to him. He didn't know why, he was just broken.

He hated music. He saw it as fake, no music was good unless it had been heavily edited. That's how people got famous wasn't it?

He hated animals. An occasional cat was ok, they were quiet at least. Maybe a fish every once and a while... But Keith was pretty sure they were heartless. Every other animal either smelled, or put hair all over him.

He hated the outdoors in general, and his pale skin was proof he wasn't outside much.

Keith hated flowers. They were smelly, and they made him sneeze in the spring.

Keith hated snow. It was cold and just caused a mess. Luckily he currently (probably not for long) lived in the sunny state of California.

He hated the ocean. He despised it, actually. It was terrifying and uncontrollable. It was strong, and reckless. It was... It was how he lost his mom when he was ten years old.

And along with the ocean came the beach. Which... Keith also hated. Sand would get into everything and people were everywhere. And it was hot. Ew.

He hated cars. Which... he often had to get over because he lived in California. He needed to get around, and it was usually much to hot to bike. So he drove a car... and a nice one (thanks to his foster parents wealth). But he did not like them. That's how he lost his father. It was two weeks after the ocean took his mother. So it's understandable that they made him uncomfortable.

Keith hated coloring sheets and Christmas lights. Keith hated the wind, and the sun. Keith hated the color yellow and the color blue. Keith hated football.

The list could go on forever. Keith hated a lot of things. And it wasn't like he hasn't tried to be positive. He has just been knocked down so many times. Abusive foster parents, orphaned when he was a ten year old, diagnosed with depression when he was 13, the list of Keith's misfortunes went on forever as well.

Keith loved exactly 6 things, and six things only.
1) drawing (but not painting, he hated that)
2) his (basically) brother Shiro
3) the color red
4) lions
5) space
6) macaroni and cheese

Now, anything Keith didn't hate or love was put into the awkward category that he was just neutral with. The things on that list were just things that would probably be added into the list of things he hated one day.

That's why on September 16th, Keith Kogane took his own life.

Well...

He tried to.

But he couldn't even do that. Which just made him more disappointed in himself.

On September 16th Keith and his current foster mother, Laura were fighting again. If there was an order to the list of things Keith hated, Laura would be at the top. This woman was insane.

Keith was gay. Laura, was very against gay rights. Keith could live with that, he had foster parents that disagreed with the LGBT+ community before. But Laura...

Laura was a monster.

She had taken Keith to every church, therapist, and doctors office in the city to try and "fix" him.

Now believe it or not there was someone in Keith's miserable life worse than Laura.

Brett.

Brett was like Laura, but about a foot taller, and he had 0 tolerance for anyone that wasn't white, straight, and (usually) male. Brett was the type of guy who tried to force Keith into cutting his hair. Once, he told Keith that if he didn't join the football team he would pull him out of school.

The only plus to living with Brett and Laura was that they didn't pay any attention to him. Brett was extremely wealthy (that's probably why Laura married him) and owned a very huge house.

Keith had a giant room all to himself, and there was so much space inside the mansion like place that Keith would rarely run into Brett or Laura. However when Keith did encounter one of them... All hell broke lose.

So, that meant that about 50 percent of the time (when Keith could hide from his hell spawned foster parents) "home" was pretty good.

School on the other hand was always awful. He was gay, quiet, and had a mullet. Believe it or not... He wasn't the most popular guy.

People sucked. Keith had zero friends. Luckily, school was one thing that always came easy to him. He always had A's. But he wasn't proud of this either, it just made him a huge try hard to other high schoolers. So he hid that away too.

The other teenagers didn't usually mess with him, but he still was always worried. Worried about what everyone else thought about him. Worried about what they were thinking. Worried they would judge the way he talked, or moved. That's just how he was. Social situations were not for him. At all. Thinking about presentations in front of an audience gave him panic attacks.

And, as if things couldn't get any worse, there was Keith's depression. He had medication for it. Which helped, but still nothing was really good. He either felt numb, absent of any emotion, or just sort of... Down. He didn't know how to describe it. He had been to school counselors, therapists, doctors, but no matter what the shadow of depression always followed him. What didn't help, was that Keith already had a pretty bad life. He didn't like to whine, because it didn't help... But even on those rare days where he felt absent of the depression Laura would come scream at him. Or Brett would come smack him. Or someone at school would make a nasty comment.

*trigger warning- suicide attempt
I don't want to upset anyone so please read at your own caution

And on September 16th, he was just done. He couldn't do it anymore. So, he took more pills than he could count. He kept swallowing them down. Then he stood in the overly nice bathroom that belonged to his awful foster parents, and cried. He thought about all of the awful things they had said to him over the last year. He thought about how no one would miss him. He thought how there wasn't a single person... Not even one... Who would truly miss him. There was Shiro, who was a foster child of Laura and Brett with him last year. But he was interning at the local hospital now and Keith knew he had better things to do than care for a little brother that wasn't even his.

So, there was no one. Not even one person who would miss Keith Kogane. That's when he took a knife and cut long, vertical cuts into his arms. It stung so much that he gasped. His vision was beginning to go out, black spots were filling the bathroom. He heard loud bangs on the door- it was the maid, Maria. She was always so kind.

"Keith...? Keith honey are you alright?"

More black dots kept appearing.

"Keith? Keith!"

He pushed his back against the wall and slowly slid down.

"Keith??"

The black dots took over.

-

Hey you guys thanks for reading that<3 more klance up ahead I promise.

If you're reading my story Smile currently, don't worry I'm still writing it:) this story is just me letting out all my creative ideas and what not, and updates on this one will be faster because it's so much easier.

Thank you!

These chapters will all be long. I like extreme detail and lots of buildup. This means updates might be slower than your average story.
I'm also a student. I love you guys, but I am going to slow down everyone once in a while on this due to homework.

KEEP IN MIND:
This story has some heavy stuff! There will be more detail on Keith's parents, his mental health, etc.
I do not want to put any of my readers in harms way! Please do not read if it makes you uncomfortable, or if you simply don't want to.

Also!
I like LOTS of personality in my stories. It makes things more fun;) so once you get through all that boring intro stuff, you can join the McClains on a cross country adventure

Love you