I woke up to the sound of running water.

There was a blanket draped over me that hadn't been there when I'd gone to sleep and my feet had even been tucked underneath.

The gesture tugged at my heart.

How did he expect me to walk away from him when he did stuff like this?

I stretched on the couch, wiggling my toes free. Glancing out the window, I found that the sky outside was still dark but starting to lighten in the east.

Before falling asleep, I'd decided that I couldn't walk away from Christian. Despite his protests, and regardless of all the reasons why we shouldn't be together, there was one reason to keep fighting and that reason was love.

I loved this man.

In a way, I didn't entirely understand but that I knew was a once-in-a-lifetime deal.

There would never be another Chris for me out there, I was sure of it.

People who believed in soul mates were full of shit, at least that's what I'd always thought. But meeting Christian had changed things for me.

A sliver of steam escaped the bottom of the closed bathroom door.

Shifting on the couch, I made the split-second decision.

I didn't think much about it as I made my way toward the bathroom, removing every last article of clothing. My hand hovered over the handle, and without a second thought, I opened the door and slipped inside quietly

Before my boldness had a chance to fade and before he heard my thoughts, I stepped into the shower.

His back was to me, perfect rivers of water cascading over his broad shoulders.

"Aimee," He breathed. My fingertips hadn't yet touched his skin but he knew. He'd probably known the moment I stepped into the bathroom.

My fingers brushed across each of his wing scars. He tensed under my touch, his palms landing on the shower tile in front of him.

"Please," He whispered, voice strained. "You need to go,"

"You can't," I said, swallowing hard. "Get rid of me so easily. I won't let you. I love you and you love me."

"If only this was just about love, Aimee...but it's not."

"I had a dream about you making love to me. In a hotel room, just like this." I whispered. I took a step closer, my arms winding around his waist, hands clasping against his stomach, my cheek resting in the space between his wet shoulder blades.

"That was my dream," His voice shook. "I wanted to touch you one last time, even if it wasn't real. I was being selfish."

"Be selfish again," My lips made contact with his smooth shoulder blade, peppering kisses as high as I could go up the nape of his neck. Water streamed down my face, warm this time.

Christian unclasped my hands and turned around to face me.

His eyes swept back and forth over my face, his Adam's apple moving in his throat as he searched for words and found none.

I closed the space between us, mouth angling for his lips. His hands flew from my wrists to cup my cheeks, holding me there, centimeters from his mouth,

His lips were wet, slightly parted, his breath warm against my face, his chest falling and rising rapidly beneath my fingertips.

"Chris," I breathed. "Stop fighting it. We've wasted so much time..."

His lips met mine and my back collided against the cold shower wall. His hands gripped the backs of my thighs, lifting me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, arms holding onto his shoulders for dear life.

The warmth of his hard penis just barely brushed the junction between my legs.

I let out a gasp, which he breathed in, the feverish kiss stealing the air from m lungs.

He kissed me like a man in a desert who'd just found water. My lips tingled, the pressure of his mouth creating a pleasurable pain.

One hand slid up along my thigh until his fingers were digging into the flesh of my ass.

I made a sound of pleasure as his hand kneaded my ass.

He hitched me up higher on his chest so that my breast was now at mouth level. As his mouth clamped over my nipple, his wet tongue stroked the underside of my breast, traveling in a circle over my hardening nipple, a painful desire shooting through my pussy.

"Chris," I moaned. My fingers tangled in his dark black hair.

I was probably gripping his wet locks too hard but he didn't appear to care.

"Make love to me, baby,"

He released me and leaned against the wall, his muscular forearms on either side of my face.

Breathing heavy, I looked up at him through my water-streaked eyelashes.

My lips were swollen from kissing.

My pussy throbbed with desire.

And his eyes were squeezed shut.

Tentatively, I dragged one finger down the center of his chest, until I reached his hardened member, taking the entire thing into my hand.

He let out a shaky breath and trembled slightly under my touch.

I stroked him gently, from the base to the glistening head, allowing the water to lessen the friction.

"Making love to you now..." He shook his head, eyes still squeezed tightly shut. "That seals the bond in a way that...fuck, Aimee."

He grunted when I reached lower and massaged his balls with one hand, the other still working at his shaft, up and down, careful to pay extra attention to his sensitive head.

"This will only make things harder."

"Harder is good," I whispered, with a coy smile tugging at my lips.

"No. We can't do this," Christian gripped my shoulders and pushed me away at arm's length.

My hands fell from his penis and my lips parted in surprise.

"We can't," He swallowed hard again. "I can't strengthen the bond in that way. That would be cruel."

"Cruel?" I said, heat quickly rising to my cheeks. "Cruel is what you're doing right now."

I shrugged off the hands that were doing everything they could to push me away, snatched a towel from the towel bar, and fled the bathroom.

With my body still half-wet, I tugged on my jeans, which only pissed me off more. Jeans and wet skin didn't mix well and neither did this storm of emotions.

I tugged on my shirt, threw the hotel room door open, and blindly made my way onto the stairwell.

I paused for a second to take a deep breath and gather myself.

I jogged down the rest of the stairs and went in search of the nearest bar.

***

I didn't need to know Romanian to get drunk. Thankfully, alcohol was a universal language.

When Christian slipped into the barstool beside me, I'd already put a good enough dent into the bar's bottle of premium vodka that I didn't even care that he was there.

He sat next to me, elbows resting against the onyx bar top, hands clasped in front of his face as if he were praying.

"Go away, Christian. Let me nurse my pride in peace."

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Never better," I said, swallowing down the last of the bitter liquid.

"For what it's worth, you have every right to be mad at me."

"I am mad at you. So fucking angry in fact."

"Good."

"I'm not even upset about the sex, Christian. I'm mad that you think you can decide things for me."

"I'm just trying to look out for you. If you think this was an easy decision to make..."

"Then why are you making it?"

"I--I had a lot of time to reflect on this when I was being tortured. I realized...fuck," He shook his head and looked away for a moment. "I realized all this pain I've put you through. It's not normal, sweetheart, and deep down I think you know that too."

"Chris," I said, shaking my head. "This is bs. You need to let me make that choice. You can't make it for me."

"I have to. Because the way you love...you give everything."

"Then I guess we're the same in that regard."

He sighed, "Aimee, I just...I want to give you the best shot possible."

"A shot at what, Chris? A normal life?"

"Normal-ish, at least. Once I can safely take back my throne, I'll go after Stefan. With him gone, you'd be safe. Anyone else that comes after you, your Defender can handle. Removing Stefan gives you a chance. You could go back home, back to your friends and family. The tattoo job you love so much."

"That all sounds very nice but I'll never have a normal life. Removing yourself from the equation won't change that. I know in your mind you think you're being noble but you're only causing more damage."

"Maybe," He said. "But the alternative--staying here and watching you destroy yourself for this love. I can't do that."

"Destroying myself in what way?"

"The night you killed Henric... I couldn't wake you. Nothing could." His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. His lips moved to form words but no sound came out. Briskly, he swiped under his eye with the back of his closed fist.

Was Christian...was he crying? Over me?

"I was certain the dark magic had killed you and it was all because of me. Believe me when I say that that hurt worse than being tortured with holy water."

His Dannek blue eyes were red and he had to look away again.

For a moment I was too stunned to react.

"Fuck," He muttered.

Every muscle in his shoulder, which I gently reached out to stroke, was pulled taut with stress.

"When your Defender friend showed up and accused me of killing Luke. You asked me why I didn't just blurt the truth right then and there? I wanted to. But I saw an opportunity to keep you safe--from me. I realize now that it still caused you a lot of pain. But I honestly thought...and I still do think, that it was better for you to be broken-hearted and alive than dead."

"But I'm right here. I'm ok. I'm alive. You don't need to keep--"

"I'm scared for you, Aimee. Terrified."

"Scared of what?"

"That dark magic will consume you. You only used it to come after me in the dungeons and you've only used it since for me. Brandon's girl, Milagros....dark magic destroyed her."

"But I'm not Milagros," It was my turn to swipe at my face. "I'm strong."

"Strongest woman I've ever met," He agreed, thumbing at a tear I'd missed. "But even you can't battle an enemy like that. If you keep using dark magic at the rate that you are, it will consume you."

"Then I'll stop."

"No you won't, sweetheart. Not as long as I'm in the picture."

"Chris--"

"The humans you killed to save me? I felt your remorse afterward. I know how much it hurt you when Julian told you they were only human. No matter how hard you tried to brush it off as nothing."

"I'd do that and more to save you, Chris." I looked at him, and this time he was the one to look away. "And I know you'd do the same for me."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of."

"There's a really huge double standard here. So it's ok for you to risk your life to protect me but I can't do the same for you? That's what love is, Christian."

"No, baby. Normal love...it shouldn't be founded on lies. And that's my fault. I take full responsibility. But love shouldn't hurt this much."

The bartender came up to us and offered him a drink. He declined in Romanian with a wave of his hand but I gladly accepted another. "On my way to Bulgaria," He said, his voice dropping down to just a whisper. "There was one night where I felt all your pain, Aimee. Every last drop of it."

I looked away, onto the other side of the bar at a group of men, huddle in a circle, checking out a woman that strode past.

"And knowing I was the cause of it...I don't ever want you to feel like that again."

I swallowed down the lump in my throat but couldn't hold back the traitor tears that slid down my cheeks.

"You know that old saying? If you love someone, let them go...and I do, Aimee. I love you so damn much." His palm encased my cheek and I closed my eyes.

"I love you enough to know that this relationship is not the best for you. You deserve better."

I wanted to tell him to do better. Be better. No more lies. But, at some point, I had to accept that if this is what he wanted, I had to respect it.

No matter how much it fucking hurt.

Maybe he was right. Maybe this relationship had been doomed from the very beginning.

Maybe, deep down, I'd known that too, the night I walked away from him at Dannek castle.

Maybe you couldn't love someone with such fiery passion without getting burned.

I kissed Christian's palm before removing it from my face and giving it a squeeze. "Okay, Chris. Okay."

He kissed my forehead and then pulled away.

There was a finality to the kiss that made another lump lodge in my throat.

We sat in silence until the bartender came back around and this time, Chris accepted the drink he offered.

This whole conversation felt surreal but a calmness had settled over me.

I was done worrying about things I could not change. But I had to admit, being next to him and being unable to touch him was torture.

Maybe with some time, this physical need for him would dim. Maybe one day, like with any other breakup, I'd be able to think of Christian and not feel a pinch in my heart.

Maybe one day, I'd stop loving this man.

I laughed, just a small sound of air.

Yeah fucking right.

Then I had the bartender pour me another one.