Smoke billowed into the early morning air from my lungs. It wrapped itself around the sky, melding with the grey clouds that adorned the sky. I was sitting on the roof of my apartment building, watching the cold blue night turn into a cold yellow sunrise.

I placed the cigarette between my lips and inhaled the sickly sweet smoke. I could feel it flow down to my lungs and do little figure eights in there. It came back up as I exhaled the smoke and let it fan out in front of me.

Smoking wasn't a habit to me. It was a necessity. It's the only thing that makes me feel close to Alex anymore. I remember sitting like this with him, him smoking like the toxic smoke would turn him into a god.

Truth be told he did turn into a god in my eyes whenever he smoked. His lips curled perfectly around the cigarette and he would smile in a lopsided manner.

His lips would pucker slightly as he would blow out the smoke towards the sky, his neck arching back as he looked up and exposing his sharp jaw line.

Sometimes, just for laughs, he would blow the soft smoke in my face. I would just giggle but on the inside I was screaming with happiness. The fact that Alex even wanted to hang out with me let alone blow smoke in my face and have his lips hovering over mine was just overwhelming.

I stared across the horizon, glancing at birds as they woke up and chirped happily. I stood up, making my way off the roof and back into my apartment. The room was cold but then again so was everything.

I pulled my frozen body over to my backpack and grabbed my art supplies, slipping them into my bag along with a few sticky notes for writing. I've always enjoyed writing more then art even though I'm much better at drawing.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and shoved my ear buds in my ears as I turned on my music. An Arctic Monkeys song came on and I instantly knew today wasn't gonna be the best day.

It was from their new album Suck It And See. God this song will be the death of me.

Lately I've been seeing things

I'm pretty sure I cringed visibly.

Bellybutton piercings
In the sky, at night

I let out a disgruntled sigh and threw my bag over my shoulder. I began to walk towards the exit of the apartment building.

When we're side by side
And I don't mean to rain
On anybody's cabroilet

I pushed away tears as I walked to a small cafe in the middle of town. It was quite popular and always had a band playing so I figured I should go check it out, get a coffee and write a bit.

One of those games, you're gonna lose
But you wanna play it, just in case

I walked quickly, making sure to keep my head down so no one would bother me. I stepped into the cafe and instantly froze. Either my headphones just got louder or that's Alex goddamn Turner's voice coming from the microphone on stage.

I took out my headphones and sadly it was the latter. As much as I wanted to see Alex again I didn't want him to see me like this, a broken mess that never moved on who smokes too make cigarettes and writes little phrases about his ex.

I got into line for a coffee and listened as the next song was being played. All My Own Stunts came on and I swear I melted. His voice is even more angelic in person.

" Caricatures of your wrecking ball. In my mind all the time
I wanna be in that damsel-patterned alley. Where you go for a smoke and sorrow slow dances. The phones are lining up. Taking no chances. Close but never close enough " he sang.

I felt someone tap my shoulder and I blushed as I approached the lady at the register.

" Hello dear what would you like, " she asked.

" U-Um " my voice came out scrstchy and quiet from not using it, " J-Just a large coffee please, leave plenty of room for cream. "

She nodded and I paid quickly. I escaped the line and sat, waiting for my coffee. I stared at Alex up at the stage trying to be discreet.

" Been watching cowboy films on gloomy afternoons. Tinting the solitude. Put on your dancing shoes and show me what to do. I know you've got the moves, " he continued to sing.

" All my own stunts. Hiding has changed its tune. Linking arms, syncing hearts " I sang along softly to the next words.

I heard my coffee being called so I went and grabbed it, putting some cream in it and returning to my seat in the very back of the cafe.

I looked up at the stage and swore that Alex met my eyes. His expression was sad as he continued to sing. I took out my sketch book and looked at my drawing to the boy in front of me.

He had slightly shorter hair now but it was quite cute. His eyes, brown as always, shimered in the spot light. I ripped the drawing out of my sketchbook and folded it up. There was a place where you could put some tips for the band by the stage.

I made sure Alex was watching me as I made my way over to the spot. I took a twenty out of my wallet and put it in the container along with the folded up drawing.

His eyes followed me the whole way there and back. I grabbed my bag, shoving everything into it and took my coffee, making my way out into the cold morning air.

I began to walk away from the cafe, unable to stay another second in the presence of Alex Turner. I walked to the park by my house and decided that this would be a good area to work on some art and poems for my ' job '.

So I sat and worked, smoking a few fags here and there and began to wonder what Alex's reaction to the drawing would be.