Elle woke up early, jittery and unsettled. She'd woken with a sense that Blake was hovering over her. She even whispered his name into the dim room, half expecting him to say 'Yes, Elle!' as he had so often. Blake had always had a terrible habit of hovering over her as she slept. It used to annoy her. Getting that sense of him hovering over her now only made her concerned. Was she forgetting something, something important?

'You're forgetting something.' Blake's voice echoed in her mind as she climbed out of the bed and carefully chose her path to the bathroom amongst the debris of Maya's toys. What is it? What is it? Her mind chanted as she brushed her teeth, scrubbed her face, and slapped a good dollop of moisturiser on it.

Once in the kitchen, impatience took over her as she watched the kettle boil louder and louder until she picked up the phone and dialed her mother. "Mum!" she rushed to say as soon as someone picked up.

"Are you all right? What is it?" Trish asked. "Is Maya okay?"

"Maya is fine!"

"Then, what's wrong?"

"It's" — but Elle couldn't bring herself to say Blake had woken her this morning — "I can't figure out what I'm forgetting and it's bugging me," she finally managed. "Do we have anything big coming up?"

"How much wine did you drink last night?"

"Mum!" Elle almost yelled. "Just tell me. What am I forgetting?"

"Maya's birthday?"

Elle bit her lip hard to stop herself from cussing. "I've been so preoccupied..." No wonder she'd had the feeling Blake was around that morning.

"Have you planned anything at all, or have you forgotten that too?"

Elle sighed. No point in lying. The women could detect lies like a sniffer dog could detect drugs. "I had forgotten," she admitted.

"I knew you would," said Trish, to her surprise. "Bertie and I have been thinking it would be nice to have you girls over for the day. Blake's folks would love to see her, too. And Chloe called yesterday wanting to know what we were doing, so I've asked her and Pete to come too if they can make it."

Elle's eyes filled up. She'd completely forgotten her little girl's fourth birthday, while the rest of the family had remembered it and were planning, just in case. Had they all expected her to forget? Was she such a horrible mother? She had moved Maya and herself to another city just because she couldn't deal with the loss, and now this. "I'm a terrible mother."

"No one thinks that."

"Then how come you all thought I would forget Maya's birthday?"

"We know you've been through a lot these past years, and now, with your business on top, we know you are struggling. We just wanted to help by taking one responsibility off your hands for one day so that you have one less thing to worry about. Now stop crying."

Elle sniffled. "Thanks, Mum."

"We'll expect you here Friday evening," Trish said without losing a beat. "Everyone's coming to Tamworth on Friday."

The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach had abated by the time she'd managed to finish her tea and mull things over in her mind. Just because Maya's birthday plans had been officially handed over to her more-than-capable mother, Elle couldn't shake the guilt.

She picked up the phone and called her mother again.

"Are you still upset?" her mother asked.

"No." Elle shook her head. "I think I want to bake a cake for her."

"That's fine. I won't buy one then."

"Okay, good."

***

Elle donned the apron. How hard could it be to bake a cake? You mix some flour and eggs and sugar, pour it into a cake tin, and pop it in the oven.

Her first hurdle was the fact that yes, she had grown up in this house, but from the time she'd married and left till now, her mother had changed it around to suit herself more than anybody else. So Elle had a disaster of a time looking for every gadget she'd need for the mammoth task.

As Chloe, Pete, and her dad, Bert, started decorating the small dining room with pink crepe paper, balloons, and a big Happy Birthday banner, Elle set about sifting flour. Thank god they weren't expecting a large group of people. It was just the family, like always. Harriett, Blake's sister, had arrived with her husband, James, and son, Mitchell, the night before and they were currently in Woollies picking up a few bits and pieces Elle and Bert had forgotten to get the night before. As for Maya's friends, Anna and Harold were popping in around midday with the twins.

Trish kept popping into the kitchen now and then to see how Elle was going with the cake. "You won't have time to ice the cake at this rate. Are you sure you don't want my help?"

Elle swiped her hair with the back of her hand. "I'm almost done. Just have to put this in the oven," she said, pouring the batter into a round cake tin. "And then I've only got the ganache to go."

"What're you making that for?"

Elle looked up. Her baking skills weren't exactly the talk of the town, but did that really warrant such a tone of alarm? "Well, it says so." She tapped the recipe.

Trish shook her head. "You won't get the cake or the ganache cool enough to decorate."

"What do you mean?"

"The ganache will melt right off the cake. It hasn't got enough time to cool."

"I'll just put it in the fridge then."

Trish shoved Elle out of the way. "Do you want the cake to be pretty or not for Maya?" Elle nodded. "Then give me my apron and be gone with you. Go on, get out of my kitchen and let me finish it. Or there won't be a cake for her to cut later today."

Her mother did have a point. They only had a couple of hours until everyone arrived. She took off the apron with relief. Trish snatched at it with impatience. "Now find me the muffin tray."

Elle handed the tray over and watched her mother transfer the batter. A moment later, and with a bit too much batter left, Trish fished out a mini muffin tray and spooned the rest into it.

"Why did you do that?"

Trish smiled. "She's four. Imagine the look on her face when she sees so many little cakes instead of one big one."

Her mother had a point, again. "You're right if I go help Chloe, then?"

Trish looked up. "Are you still here?"

By the time Elle reached the dining room, it was well on its way to being turned into a pink fairyland. "Gosh!" She gasped, coming to a halt below the archway. "What happened here?"

"I helped, Mummy!"

"Yes, you did." Elle stared in awe at the amount of pink crepe paper hugging the walls from ceiling to floor.

Chloe shrugged. "Maya chose the colour."

Elle nodded. "Go see Grandma, honey. See what she's doing."

Maya passed over the roll of pink crepe paper in her hand and bounded away like a rabbit. Elle stepped forward and continued draping strands of crepe against the wall. "What else is left?"

"The balloons."

Elle nodded, and the two worked in silence for a while.

"Ellie, have you thought about dating?" Chloe asked.

"What about it?" Elle asked, twirling a strand till the length twisted and she taped it off at the bottom.

"Have you thought about getting out there and meeting people?"

"No," Elle admitted.

"Not an ounce?"

"Nope."

"Don't you want to find someone special?"

"I did and now he's gone." Elle laughed to hide the sudden ache in her heart.

"Another special someone, then?"

"People don't get lucky twice."

Chloe stopped taping the strip she was working on. "Not everyone, but maybe you can."

"What are you getting at?" Elle looked up, suspicious.

"Didn't that creep at the carnival say you'd fall in love twice?" Chloe grinned. "So far, he's been right about everything."

Elle felt thunder in her heart as the memory flooded her mind. The smoky incense-filled muggy tent and the man who'd grabbed her hand, ranting something or other about love and loss and a guying who will never give up. All rubbish, of course, she thought.

"You gotta admit he was quite good," Chloe continued. "He'd told me I was going to find love in a mirror." The look Elle gave her was one that made Chloe laugh. She leaned against a chair to admire the wall she was working on. "I thought he was crazy, too. Fun, but crazy, but he was right."

"You do love yourself a tad too much." Elle mocked.

Chloe grinned. "The day I realised Pete was the man for me, I was talking to a client going through a messy divorce. She was having a difficult time with the ex as she'd finally left him for her lifelong best friend."

"What does that have to do with you?"

"Well, the way she was talking about this fellow, Pete kept popping into my mind, and then, no kidding, he stood behind me and I could see his reflection in the glass, smiling at me. That was it, pretty much."

"And doesn't sound loopy to you at all? Bam! And you're in love with Pete?"

Chloe gave Elle a filthy look and went back to work on the wall. "Fine, but he was 100 percent right about yours."

Elle froze. "What?"

"He said you'd meet your first love that day and you did. That was the night you met Blake, and the rest is history."

"I was sixteen. Any dumb person can guess that a teenager has had a crush at least once by that age," Elle fired back. What was Chloe trying to get at? There had to be a reason shed brought up the stupid topic.

"Then explain how it's possible for him to know you'd lose your husband young?"

Elle's mouth flew open.

"How did he know you'd lose the love of your life soon after you were married? That you'd have a 'precious gift' from him, which is obviously Maya?" Chloe continued.

Elle's mouth dried up.

"Blake died young, and you have a beautiful girl who is precious to you."

Elle couldn't even feel her body anymore. Her legs tingled up and down. The rush of blood to her ears drowned Chloe's voice slightly. She wished it would drown her out entirely.

"It's not a coincidence, Ellie," Chloe whispered. "He knew! Pete was the steady mirror he talked about, only I realised it late. Pete was the one constant man in my life. Don't you see, Elle? That crazy man knew what he was saying. And you know what that means?"

Elle shook her head.

"Yes. Go out there and find love again."

"Why?"

"Because it's etched on your palm," Chloe said. "You're meant to have someone else, someone who'd make you happy again. Someone to love."

"I am happy." Elle turned her back to Chloe. The tears were sneaking in.

"You're not fooling anyone." Elle kept her head down and her hands busy. "Everyone needs someone. When was the last time you had sex?" Chloe asked.

"Chloe! You have sex. I ..." Elle started feeling her cheeks flush.

"Ya, ya, you make love!" Chloe pulled a face. "Whichever way you put it, you've been alone for a long time."

"I don't need to sleep with guys to feel fine about myself."

"I'm just saying you can't spend a lifetime alone."

"I have Maya."

"When Maya moves out, what then? She'll have her own family. What then?"

"I have all of you." Elle sounded less than convincing. She couldn't help the tears anymore.

"Mum and dad, and Aunty Trish and Bert will not be here all your life. And Pete and I live so far away, same as Harry and Ethan. Who is there for you?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because..." Chloe approached her. "I care about you enough to tell you the truth. And the truth is, I want you to have someone by your side when none of us can be."

A tear streaked down Elle's cheek. Chloe wiped them away gently. "Pete has a close client," she began. "A friend rather, and we both think you two would get along really well. He seemed interested in you. His name is—" Chloe started.

"I'm not ready to forget Blake." Elle put up her hand to hush her.

"Blake can't come back. You know that, right?"

Elle nodded. "I think we're done here." She handed the last bit of crepe back to Chloe. "I don't need you to feel sorry for me."

"I'm not..."

"I also don't need to be fixed up. I'm not ready. And when I am, I'll let you know."

"You would like him," Chloe muttered as Elle left the room.

For Elle, it was a struggle to get through the rest of the day. Maya loved her cupcakes, especially the baby ones. Chloe had stopped bringing up a match. Maya's two sets of grandparents were content that their grandchild was healthy and happy, and that Elle looked 'better'.

By bedtime, Elle was ready to pass out and be numb. When she slid into her old bed, next to her baby girl, she realised for the first time that her family was incomplete. Maya was incomplete. Damn Chloe for being right.

Maya was four. It wouldn't be long before a few more years slipped by. Maya wasn't aware that she was missing a father, but that wouldn't be the case for too long. Elle wondered about the crazy man and his ranting. Was he right? Would she find a special someone again, someone who'd love her and Maya the way Blake had?

Elle stared at the ceiling, wondering if she should give dating a go. Give Chloe's guy a go. Maybe in a couple of weeks or months, she'd be ready to move on. She wanted Maya to have a family. Damn Chloe!