4. Decisions, Decisions

Elle watched as the last of Connie's and Cal's café customers left. It was already dark outside and barely any traffic whizzed by. She turned to Gregory, the real estate agent, only to find him utterly distracted by Chloe.

"What do you think, Chlo?"

Chloe shrugged. "Up to you."

Elle eyed the big empty shop with hands on her hips. "I'm not completely sure, but I have to do something, and I may as well go back to photography."

Gregory grinned in their direction. "Connie says you're a professional photographer. We haven't had a pro here for a while."

Chloe smiled at the man and pulled her cousin to the side. "I think it'd be great, to be honest. Beats hiring a school nerd with a camera." She laughed. "At least your face isn't covered in pimples!"

"The rent might be steep for a while, but I think I could do it," Elle whispered.

Chloe took Elle's face in her hand and squeezed her cheeks till her lips pouted. "It's like riding a bike, Elle. Once you know it, you know it. And you're someone who knows it, you know what I mean?"

Elle chuckled, pushing Chloe off. "I'd give them a run for their money."

"Bet your ass you will."

"Do you think it will take me away from Maya?"

"The child lives with you, for God's sake. Stop making excuses and just say yes to the poor man!" Chloe eyed Gregory, who looked a little flushed. "Or he's going to have a coronary right here from all the suspense, and neither of us knows CPR."

"I do."

Chloe looked shocked. "You do?"

"Blake made me." She shrugged, eyeing the yellowing newspaper plastered on the window.

"Any thoughts, ladies?" Gregory asked, eagerly eyeing the two.

Elle turned to him and smiled, thanking him for his time. "I'll have a think about it, Greg. May I call you Greg?" Gregory nodded, speechless, as he shook Chloe's slender hand and completely forgot to extend the same courtesy to Elle, who walked out of the shop.

"I thought you wanted to say yes," Chloe prodded as they walked back to their car park across the street.

"Yes, but I don't want to seem desperate," she said, grinning. "I'll call him up tomorrow. Make it look like it was a tough decision to make."

"If you're going to open up a studio, you're going to have to build a client base." Chloe nodded, linking her arm through Elle's as they walked on the footpath.

Chloe slid into the driver's seat and pulled the car out onto the street, shaking her head. "Thank God your passion's calling you again."

"What do you mean?"

Chloe pulled up at a traffic light and turned to Elle with a somber face. "Ever since Blake's death, you've avoided photography like a plague, Ellie. You've been a photographer since you were six when you got that Polaroid camera from your mum. It's who you are, Elle." Chloe eased the car a little closer to the line, anticipating the light to turn green. "It was almost like you forgot to breathe there for a while in your odd little prison. We were all worried about you. First, you gave up work, then the family, and then the one thing Blake would have given anything to see you do. The one thing I would love to see you do."

"And what is that?"

"Live your life!"

"I am living my life. This is my life!" Elle snapped. "I didn't ask to be a widow. I didn't ask for Blake's death, but it happened. So, I'm living the best I can."

"You are now, but you weren't then. Admit it, you were running away from the possibility of ever feeling okay without Blake."

Elle stared out the window, arms crossed. "Why can't I miss him?"

The light turned green just as tears snuck down her cheeks. Chloe spoke gently. "You sure that's what you're doing here, in this town? Missing him?"

A horn blared behind them. Chloe glared into the rearview as the driver flicked his high beam and tooted his horn again. Ahead, the light had turned amber. Chloe stepped on the gas and the car behind overtook them, the driver yelling at her as he drove ahead.

"Yeah? Well, up yours too, pal," Chloe grumbled and drove on. The ten-minute drive went quiet but for Elle's sobs. Chloe turned onto Elle's street and slowly pulled the car into the driveway.

"You're scared of making a life without him, I get that. You even took Maya away from family, isolated your grief so no one can tell you it's okay if you can no longer remember the sound of his voice or his laugh." Chloe reached out and stroked Elle's shoulder. "Just tell me that's not what you're doing here, in this small town where no one knows you. That you're not hiding from life."

Elle sobbed harder. "I can't even remember his face properly anymore. I miss him so much. Some days I can't get out of bed. Or worse, look at Maya without wishing for him." Chloe squeezed Elle's shoulder.

"Let's get Maya from your neighbour's."

Elle shook her head, wiping her tear-streaked cheeks dry. "I don't want her to see me like this."

Once inside, Chloe left Elle sitting on the couch and went to rummage through the kitchen cupboards for the biggest wine glasses she could find, and what she found were the ugly goblets her dad had gifted Elle and Blake at their wedding. She poured the wine, an entire bottle between the two goblets, and walked them carefully back to the lounge, where Elle was attempting to distract herself with the TV.

"Here." Chloe held out a goblet to Elle.

"Why these?" She grimaced half-heartedly, taking the goblet from Chloe before she spilled any wine.

Chloe cuddled up to Elle and fished out her phone. "Goblets up! Time for a selfie." She leaned closer to Elle and held up her glass. "I'm so sending this to dad and Peter."

Elle couldn't help but feel great lashings of jealousy as she watched Chloe send the selfie to her partner. Elle felt a void where her heart had once been. Blake should have been there sitting on that couch with her, drinking local wine from those God-awful glasses. Not Chloe. As much as she loved her cousin, it still should have been Blake.

By the time Chloe put her phone away and looked up, she could see Elle teary-eyed. "Sorry."

Elle shook her head. "We had so many plans, you know. He'd always wanted a road trip to Europe. Used to call it a second honeymoon. 'It'd be romantic, Elle. You, me, and Europe's old charming glory,' he used to say."

"He was always romantic." Chloe sighed. "Why did you have to notice him before me, aye?"

Elle wiped her running nose. "We vowed to live and die together, Chlo. To grow old and senile. Not for him to die young and leave me all alone with Maya, whose every pore reminds me of him."

Chloe wrapped her arms around Elle and sniffled. "He'd want you to grow old and senile."

Suddenly, the front porch light turned on and the two women stared at the light through the curtains. Then came a knock. "Elle?"

Elle composed herself before heading for the door. "Harold, everything okay?"

Harold seemed surprised to see Chloe standing behind Elle. "Your car's lights are still on," he said, distracted, unable to draw his eyes away from Chloe's beautiful face. "I'm afraid your battery's going to die."

"Oh, bugger." Chloe stepped forward. "That'd be my fault."

"Your car?" Harold asked.

Chloe nodded and smiled her million-dollar smile. Elle felt awkward standing between the two of them. She stepped back. "This is Chloe, my cousin. Chloe, this is our neighbour, Harold."

"Charmed to meet you!" Harold shook Chloe's hand. "Did you two have a nice night out?"

Chloe laughed, wriggling out of Harold's keen grasp. "Yes, we had a lot to catch up on."

"Gregory tried calling you a little while back," Harold informed Elle. "So, he called us instead. Said you were looking at his shop for lease. What kind of shop are you thinking of opening?"

"Elle's thinking of opening a small photo studio," Chloe answered.

"Oh." He finally turned to Elle with interest.

"I thought it's time I got back into the workforce." Elle smiled small.

"That's a brilliant idea! I didn't know you were a camera woman. Boy, we could do with a talent like that around here. Most talents leave when they grow wise." Harold laughed. "Anyway, just came to tell you, Maya's tuckered out and asleep."

Elle looked worried. "I'm so sorry! We should have come earlier to get her. It's just, we got talking, and I..."

"It was my fault," Chloe interrupted. "I just thought it'd be nice for Elle to enjoy an evening without having to worry about Maya."

"Don't sweat it," Harold said. "I actually came to tell you there's no point in waking her up and dragging her from one bed to another. She's in the spare room. Anna just told me to come by and let you know. We'll send her and the boys over for breakfast if you'd like. They'd been on about them pancakes of yours."

Elle smiled.

"Good night then."

"Goodnight."

***

"Remember how you met him?" Chloe opened the third bottle of wine and zealously poured more into both their glasses.

"I think about it every day."

Chloe folded her long, model-like legs underneath her on the sofa and leaned her head on Elle's shoulder. "I can't believe you let me date the Gordon guy."

"Jordon!" Elle corrected. "I can't believe you used me and the carnival as an excuse to go out with him."

Chloe giggled. "It was fun though, admit it!" She took another thirsty sip. "If it wasn't for me, you would have never met Blake."

"I would have to!" Elle cried out, almost spilling her wine on the sofa's arm. "He had moved into the adjacent street, and was going to the same school."

Chloe laughed and straightened up. "Not if I'd had my way."

Elle laughed. "Thank God for Jordon, then!" Chloe stared at Elle for a long moment. "What?"

She shook her head. "You remember that fortune teller from that night?"

Elle became somber. "The creepy guy in the park's corner? The one that told your friend Bridgette she'd find a boyfriend after the reading?"

"Buck-tooth Bridgette!" Chloe laughed, drunk on the wine and the company.

"God, you were mean when we were kids." Elle kicked her feet up on the coffee table. "If I wasn't your cousin, I'm sure you would have found me a nickname, too."

Chloe shrugged and drained her cup. "But seriously, do you remember what he said to you?"

Elle shrugged, even though she remembered every word he said. How could she forget? After all, everything he'd said about her life had so far come true. She'd met the love of her life on the night of that reading. She'd be married in her early 20s, and that was so. Blake had proposed the very day he'd graduated from the Police Academy. She'd fallen pregnant with their beautiful child. All exactly like the man had said, every single part, including Blake's death. To this day, she held the man somehow responsible for her husband's death. But now she had enough of his prophecy, especially when it was coming true. She wanted no part of it. She had no interest in falling in love ever again.

Elle rose from the sofa, lost her balance, and hit her knee on the coffee table. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed."

Chloe followed Elle down the corridor, turning the lights off as they went. "I find it scary some days... how he saw your life like that."

Elle didn't answer. She walked into her bedroom, headed straight to her cupboard and fetched out a set of clothes for Chloe, and tossed it at her cousin. "I'm going to shower."

"You think he's right about the rest of it?"

"He told you things as well. Why don't you focus on that?" Elle closed the bathroom door to shut herself away from Chloe and her questions.

When Elle came back into the room, Chloe was already under the covers, asleep. Elle felt relieved. She couldn't talk about that night without feeling the greatest of pains. It was the night she'd fallen in love with a boy. It was the start of their story.

Elle slipped into bed and pulled the covers all the way up around her ears, and wished she could drown out her thoughts.

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