22b. Seeing White

Chloe's system worked like a charm and before long, all the bridesmaids had their faces on, their hair up and their dresses zipped. They piled into a large white limousine and departed for the floating wedding venue.

Guests milled around as champagne and music flowed. Elle bumped into Peter and approved of his tan. "Bali suits you." She winked, clicking a photo of her cousin and the now tanned husband.

"And Sydney you." Peter winked back. "You've caused quite a stir, I hear." He tipped his champagne flute at her and kissed her cheek. "You're doing good. More guts and it'll be your wedding and I'll be toasting."

Elle smiled, slapped him on the arm, and told him they were due for a visit. "I have to go find the bride and the groom before the ceremony starts."

"Hang on!" Chloe said. "I almost forgot." She fished out a cream rose fashionista, spun Elle around, and speared it carefully into her hair. "Dana gave it to me a little while back. Said it'd break the black, and add a bit of zing. He likes you, you know!"

"Who?" Elle fished, knowing full well who Chloe meant.

"As if you don't know." Chloe rolled her eyes and grinned. "That's why Christina's knickers are in a twist. She'd been hoping Dean would give into Kim's advances all these years and suddenly he'd found a country girl to fall in love with."

"Oh?" Elle was interested now.

Chloe leaned in. "He might have to. They had him under so much pressure. He'd have done it just to shut them both up, but he had to go meet you, didn't he?"

Elle's eyes widened as she saw Peter nod beside Chloe.

"Why do you think Kim despises you so?" Chloe asked gleefully.

"I couldn't let the poor bugger suffer like that, Elle," Peter added. "He's a great mate, after all."

"Elle." They heard Bonnie's voice behind them. "The ceremony is in ten."

"I'll see you two later!" Elle gave both a quick hug.

"Did you, Elle?" Chloe called out.

"Did I what?" she asked, turning around.

Chloe's eyebrows danced. "You know!"

Elle gasped. "Later."

The humdrum of chatter slowly ebbed as guests made their way to the upper deck and calmly sorted themselves out in front of the decorated floral fairy lights arch. Twinkled around them was the Sydney Harbour shoreline, as buildings and homes turned their lights on, one by one. The sun was slowly descending towards the warm spring evening.

Elle urged Bonnie to head for the upper deck and she herself waited at the bottom of the stairs, awaiting the bride and her entourage for the bride and her entourage. The hospitality crew blended in and out through the area, making slight adjustments to the dining area here and there. But something seemed amiss, even though everything was perfect.

Tess appeared gloriously radiant behind her bridesmaids and patiently waited for her cue. Soon enough, Elle was scurrying up the stairs and positioning herself to capture each lady as she made her appearance.

Tess floated up behind Dana, her hand in her father's. The two were whispering and Elle snapped a photo. It was perfect. Behind them were the lights of the city, ahead of them a wedding party and the fading daylight.

The soft bridal music started and Elle made her way ahead of the pair, snapping guests and the trail of bridesmaids. This is why she loved weddings. It wasn't the glitz and glamour; it was the moments before two people declared their love for one another. Their faces, their smiles, their breaths held.

There was nothing but pure impatience on Jared's face. Elle zoomed in and snapped, a smile on her lips. She couldn't help but imagine for a moment that it was Dean waiting at the end of the aisle for her. She shook her head and made room for the bridal party. Her eyes scanned the men and women who stood as witnesses through her viewfinder and snapped away whenever she thought emotion showed. By the time she made it back to the bride and groom, the priest was starting. From the corner of her eye, she could see Bonnie smoothly moving around, getting shots from angles she couldn't capture.

Elle smiled at Bonnie and turned her focus to the front, her viewfinder landing on Jared and the familiar figure standing behind him. He'd stuck to his promise. As far as anyone was concerned, she was only the wedding photographer. Dean had remained out of her way and aloof. She clicked away at the couple, trying to think of anything but Dean in a beautiful suit at the end of the aisle, maybe waiting for her.

The sun dropped gloriously, colouring the sky exactly when Jared and Tess shared their first kiss as man and wife. Elle couldn't help but get distracted. Her eyes, it seemed, were no longer under her control. Dean's blue eyes were almost piercing through the camera lens as she found him again. She took a picture, a memory, and felt a twinge of guilt and a lot of envy that she had to steal glances at him through her camera lens in order to seem appropriate. Now and then, she sensed eyes on her, but she could only guess who those gazes belonged to.

"Can't believe Jared hired just any photographer." Elle heard whispers as she silently moved from table to table, following the newly married couple as they visited their guests and posed. Occasionally, she bumped into the video crew of two who obviously didn't think Elle, the country photographer, was comparable to them.

"I heard it was Stewie who found her." She closed in on a table of women and cursed that she had such good hearing.

"Stewie has a knack for finding new talent," one guest said and smiled at Elle when Elle couldn't help but turn to see who it was. She instantly recognised her last client, Bianca Van Belt. She smiled back.

"Ellenor!" Bianca Van Belt rose from her seat and gave Elle a warm, spontaneous hug. "Don't mind them, darling," she whispered. "They are only jealous because Stewie has eyes only for you."

Elle smiled back. "I feel like I'm intruding at this ceremony."

"God, no!" Bianca gasped. "You did a brilliant job at our wedding and Jared and Tess couldn't have found a better talent to cover their special day. Just stay away from Kim." Bianca laughed. "She's heard the rumours and might just attack you."

Elle bit back an urge to laugh. "I've got to get back on the floor." Bianca nodded. "You have a lovely night."

"You too!" Bianca chirped, giving Elle another quick hug and a kiss.

"He wasn't home last night or the night before." She heard Christina Stewart's self-righteous voice hiss to the woman sitting next to her as Elle scooted past their table. Elle's spine tingled, and she caught Christina's eye. "And every time I ask him, he refuses to tell me anything."

"Christy, you can't keep telling Dean what to do with his life," the neighbouring woman commented.

"I'm his mother," Christina fired back. "Truly Ivy, you would understand if Joel was like that?"

"Joel's already like that." Ivy's husband, Andrew, chuckled, "Minus the sense of responsibility, of course."

"I want the best for my boy."

"No," Ivy replied.

Elle just wished their table hadn't been so close to the dance floor. She could hear their every word.

"Why are you two looking at me like that?" Christina's voice rose, and it tempted Elle to watch the woman fluster.

"Kim? Of all the people we know, Christy, Kim?" Andrew asked.

"Better than some widow with a child," she hissed, pretending to whisper.

Elle felt her cheeks flush and couldn't stand to hear more. She fought the urge to run down the length of the boat and dive off, swimming for the shoreline in desperation. If she were a strong swimmer and lacked fear of deep waters, she might just have done it. The MC announced the entrance of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and Elle had no choice but to stay where she was and take more photos.

"You keep this up, Christy, and Stewie will leave everything and go," Ivy hushed. "He almost did once, remember?"

Elle wished she'd stayed down the other end and sent Bonnie up the front. She wondered to herself why she even covered weddings anymore. She just hadn't been able to say no to Dean.

And there he was, the last to walk in with his gorgeous sister by his side. Behind them, the newlyweds waited for their grand entrance. Elle imagined standing by Dean's side instead of Dana at their own wedding. Then the image of Kim in a designer gown walking alongside Dean as a newlywed barged in. A gorgeous pair she had to admit, complementary in looks and height. Who am I kidding? She thought with a knot in her chest. Maybe Chloe was right. If she hadn't interrupted Christina Stewart's attempt at playing cupid, maybe the pair would have been together. Maybe the pair could still be together. All that was needed was for Elle to butt out of the picture.

Someone bumped into Elle from behind, startling her. "What the hell are you doing, Elle? Everyone's watching you." Bonnie's voice penetrated her dream.

"You've been standing there, simply watching. You're missing the couple." Bonnie spoke from the corner of her mouth. "We're here to take photos, remember?"

"Right." Elle picked her camera up, steeled her heart, and resumed her work. Ignore them, ignore them!

By the time the bridal party sat, made speeches, cake cut, and got the first dance underway, Elle was in robotic mode. She'd stopped daydreaming. She'd even pushed Dean to the back of her mind, semi-successful.

Dinner began and wound down and guests made their way up on the upper deck for dancing. Elle and Bonnie took turns eating.

"Elle." Bonnie hesitated at the swap over.

"Something wrong?"

Bonnie bit her lip.

"Bon, we don't have much time for this right now. Just spill."

"Joel offered me a lift back to Dean's later." Bonnie waited for a reaction, a sense of disapproval, but Elle was beyond judging anybody. She was the one under scrutiny tonight. "We were going to go dancing for a bit, seeing how you and I are going back home tomorrow, so I thought, why waste my last night in the city?"

Elle picked up her cutlery and shrugged.

"Thanks." Bonnie gave her a quick hug and ran up the stairs to join the celebrating guests.

Elle had only just downed a few mouthfuls when she got interrupted again.

"You have everybody talking."

She turned and there stood Kim, looking taller and more elegant in a pair of heels Elle could never have dared to slip on. Kim gave Elle a faint, dubious smile. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

Kim regarded Elle. "You and Dean?"

Elle felt Goosebumps break out on her exposed skin and pretended it was the ocean breeze as the cause of it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't insult me!" Kim pouted with clear disdain. "Christina said he hasn't been home the last two nights."

Elle felt her gaze and focus intensify. Kim was watching for signs of distress.

Elle shrugged. "I'm sure he went home," knowing that technically she wasn't lying. His apartment was his home and yes, he'd been home the last two nights. Kim continued to stare, and Elle knew she had more questions to bark at her. "Do you mind if I finish my dinner, Ms Van Belt?" She spun around, back to her food. "I have to get back up there in a couple of minutes, and this is my break."

"You'll leave him alone," Kim whispered viciously as she stepped closer to Elle and towered over her. "He's mine!"

"Are you okay, Elle?" Chloe whispered, coming to stand next to her.

Elle shook her head, feeling her heart leap into her throat. She wanted to talk to Chloe about Kim, to discuss the entire possibility of moving on with Dean despite everything, but the place wasn't right, or the timing. "I can't do this," she whispered.

"Can't do what?"

Elle spotted Dean and Bianca dancing. "I can't do this." She nodded towards the pair. She took her camera off and handed it to Chloe. "Cover for me, will you? I think I'm going to be sick."

Elle hunched over the tight onboard toilet.

"Are you really okay, Elle?" Chloe knocked on the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

"Didn't know you get seasick."

"Me either."

An hour later, the boat docked and guests filed out, some heading home, some heading to hotels and clubs, some to the Casino. The night was apparently still young, even if it was well past midnight. The happy couple waved goodbyes and fled the scene in a polished limousine. Elle wished she could do the same. Flee, that was.

"Shall I take you home?" She heard a gentle whisper and felt a tender brushing of his arm against her back. She nodded, wanting to flee with him but aware of some guests still loitering about.

"Hey Stew, we're going to Star City. You in?" Conrad asked, keenly eyeing the two of them.

"Of course he is." Kim came up from behind, grabbing Dean's arm and pulling him playfully with her.

"I think I'll pass, Kim." He held back. "I have had little sleep the last few nights, so I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Join us for drinks then." She sneered in Elle's direction.

"It's okay. I'll catch a cab," Elle offered, too tired for the tug-of-war.

"Leave Dean, Kim!" Peter called. Elle saw Jeremy give her a faint smile beside her cousin's husband. He must have caught onto the rumour mill too. "He doesn't want to come, he doesn't want to come."

Kim glared at her friends and cousins waiting for her by the side of a limousine, then took a sharp step towards Dean, pushing Elle out of the way. "You'd rather be with her?" she hissed.

"Any day," he replied through gritted teeth.

Kim groaned in anger. She grabbed him by his collar and pulled him into a hard kiss. She wasn't about to leave it without a fight. That much was obvious to Elle.

"Stop it." He pushed her off with enough force to cause her to stumble. "I'm not something you win, Kim. I don't like you the way you want me to."

"Why not?"

"What's going on here?" Christina had spilled out of her car.

"Ask him, why her?" Kim yelled, frustration mounting.

Elle saw Dean's jaws clench and unclench several times before he spoke, and as he did, he pulled her behind him protectively, as if guarding her against the vultures. "I don't have to explain myself to you, and neither does Elle."

"But why her?"

Elle wished she were an invisible speck, though a huge part of her craved to hear his response. Why her?

Dean's arms remained wrapped around Elle. "Because the moment I saw her, the moment I spoke to her, I belonged. I never stood a chance."

"She has a child!" Christina squeaked, utterly confused. "She belonged to someone else once."

"Yes, mother, and Maya is a wonderful child."

"For God's sake, she's from a previous marriage."

Dean's voice rose on par with his mother's. "A child I adore."

"But she's not yours!" Kim cried, frustrated and clearly not comprehending why he would willingly choose a single mother.

"What happens when your child asks why their older sister looks different one day?" his mother hissed.

"Christina, that's enough," Ivy called out from behind, only to have Christina hold out her palm.

"Funny you should say that, mother," Dean suddenly chuckled. "Dana's never asked either Jared or me anything, or even you."

Elle watched, relatively shocked, as Christina's jaw dropped several centimetres.

"No need to talk about this right now, honey." Dean's aunt Ivy stepped forward, giving her sister a warning look as she did. "Go drop Elle off. It's been a long day and I'm sure she's tired."

Dean nodded, politely kissing Ivy goodnight on the cheek. He caught Dana's gaze and mouthed, "I'm sorry!" She shook her head and blew him a kiss. Then, without a word, he grabbed Elle and led her away, something he'd wanted to do all night. "I'm sorry about all that."

She shook her head, feeling her knees wobble as they walked. "We need to wait for Bonnie."

"Joel already gave me her camera gear and said they were going clubbing," he replied. "I don't know why she won't listen."

"I don't want to talk about her. I want to talk about you and me." Elle halted, tired.

Dean wasn't entirely sure that was a good thing, not after the night. "Okay," he managed, hailing a cab for the two of them.

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