This chapter is dedicated to BlackBerryBliss because she made the lovely character banner above and I just love her to pieces. She spoils me with pretty things. :)

Song: Trapped by The Word Alive

-Dawson-

It was storming at two in the morning.

Liv was supposed to show up soon, which wasn't helping my case. This is exactly how my dream started and now the dream was replying in my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed them with my fingers. It was worse behind closed eyes. I started to feel it everywhere. Her hands, hear her voice, and feel her mouth.

There was a knock on my door and I stood from the couch. I ran a hand through my hair and answered it. Liv stood there, drenched from the rain like she had been in my dream. A lump formed in my throat and I struggled to swallow it. "Did you have any problems getting in?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. But the man at the front desk gave me a weird look."

I let her inside and shut the door. "I'll get you a towel," I murmured and disappeared to get the towel. I came back and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she said and started to take off her jacket. "I didn't know it was going to storm like this. It started on my way over." Underneath the jacket, she was wearing just a t-shirt. Even though it was clinging to her skin, I was slightly relieved. My dream needs to stay just that...a dream.

"Strange," I said. "Do you want something dry to wear? I could put your clothes in the dryer."

Liv smiled a little. "That would be great, thank you."

Inside my closet, I found a plain black t-shirt and in one of my drawers, I found a pair of sweatpants. When I walked back out, she was scanning the living room. It was small, but at least it was something. The only thing separating us from the kitchen was a small breakfast bar. Again, it was small, but it was perfect for me.

"I like it," she said and faced me again. "How does it feel to live on your own?"

I handed her the clothes and shrugged. "I like the quiet, but sometimes it gets too quiet." And then I pointed to my room. "Bathroom's to the left."

Liv thanked me again and walked into my room. The bathroom door shut and I let go of the breath I had been holding. It didn't take long for her to change. When she walked back out, she handed me her wet clothes and I put them in the dryer. Back in the living room she was sitting on the couch and she twisted her hair into a ponytail.

Timidly, I sat beside her.

It didn't feel different with Liv there. It almost felt normal. But then I remembered why she's there and what we're supposed to talk about. I didn't know if I wanted to talk about it or not. But if it'll help us get over it, then I'm all for it. I miss my best friend; despite what I feel for her. "How can we pretend something never happened?" I asked.

"That's why it's called pretending," she said. "I should've known."

"It's my fault too. I came to you that night."

Liv turned to face me and she brought her knees up to her chest. "It was both of us, Dawson. Neither one of us said no that night."

She had a point. "I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling was only because of what we did, but months later...I still felt it, Liv."

"Felt?"

"Feel," I corrected. "I've always believed that guys and girls could be friends without the mess of getting feelings for each other. And I still do, but not when feelings are already involved."

Liv nibbled on her bottom lip.

"I never had feelings for you that way before that night and I know you didn't like me that way either. I thought it would be easy, you know? No feelings, no attachments...nothing. That's mainly why I ended up at your doorstep. At the end, it wasn't about losing my virginity. It was something that I can't explain. It was overwhelming."

She searched my eyes and nodded. "I know."

"I thought it'd be awkward," I went on. "Not after, but during, I guess."

"But it wasn't," Liv clarified. "At least not in the way it counts. I mean, you tripping on your pants was quite hilarious."

I laughed a little. "As mortifying as it was, I think you and your unshaved leg talk was pretty funny."

Her lips tilted into a smile. "You weren't complaining."

"No, obviously. But those small moments made it feel...more real. Between us it felt normal, like we've done it before. And that was all I could think about."

"We should've been honest with each other," she said. "I know we promised not to talk about it, but we felt the same thing that night. We felt the familiarity of being together. Like it was meant to happen."

"You think so?" I questioned.

She bobbed her head twice. "I told you that night it was meant to be you, Dawson."

"Even in a bar bathroom," I reminded her with a playful grin.

Liv smiled back. "I forgot I said that."

"I didn't. You don't really forget when a girl tells you that after you've—"

"Well, I'm proud of your memory then." She laughed. "You would've made me really happy."

A string on my heart snapped. "Does Ezra make you happy?"

"He does," she replied. "But I'll always ask myself what if. And I know that's wrong considering I'm with Ezra, I just can't help it. I know it's not fair either. I shouldn't be thinking about you when I'm with Ezra. It feels like cheating."

My heart stuttered. "If he makes you happy—"

"I don't want to talk about Ezra," she interrupted. "When Zack told me about you and the girl you went off with, I knew it was all in my head. I knew you didn't feel what I felt and I was jealous. I was jealous of the girl you were with and I was mad you chose her over me. While I was waiting for you, you were busy with Lara."

Now my chest pinched. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "You were the first person I thought about when I woke up. I just didn't know...fuck, I didn't know."

"You do now," she said, dropping her eyes down to her palms. "But I feel like all of that doesn't matter anymore. I just want to start fresh. I can't keep blaming my feelings for what I've done. We should've talked that night, but I was so hell bent on hurting you like you hurt me." Liv sucked in a breath and her brows narrowed. "I hate the way I feel about you and I hate you for making me feel everything."

I had to look away from her. My elbows rested on my thighs and I speared my fingers through my hair. Neither one of us said anything. I could barely hear her breathing over my own. How stupid could I be for hurting my best friend? For hurting the only person that's made me feeling anything so intense? It all enveloped me like a blanket and I felt like I was suffocating.

"What do we do?" Liv asked softly.

I lifted my head, but didn't look in her direction. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "Do you think anything's changed tonight?"

"Some things have," she replied. "But not the way...I feel about you."

I still couldn't look at her. "At least we aren't fighting."

"True," she agreed. "That's gotta count for something."

"It does." I glanced at her. "But I still want to kiss you right now."

I heard Liv breathe a laugh and it made my gaze turn to her. "You're not helping the situation."

My shoulders lifted and dropped. "I'm just trying this new thing called honesty."

"It seems to be working out pretty well," she joked. "So is this going to be us now?"

"If it has to be," I said. "I'd rather have you in my life than not at all, Liv. Now that our feelings are out there, maybe it'll be better. That's what you wanted, right?"

Liv moved closer to me from her spot on the other end. She nodded and looked up at me. "I want it to be better and I want you back in my life."

With a tad of reluctance, I reached for her small hand, winding my fingers around her own. "I do too."

"I waited for you. For six months, I waited for you."

A hand was locked around my throat and it was hard to look at her again, but I kept my gaze steady on hers. "I didn't want you to do that."

"I didn't notice I was waiting until homecoming. There was no one else but you."

There was nothing I could say to change her mind about me. There was nothing she could say to me to change my mind about her. "Being with other people helped me forget," I admitted. "It just backfired."

"Obviously," she mumbled and shifted a little closer. "You can be with whoever the hell you want. You can date Zack for all I care."

I snorted and choked on a laugh. "Zack doesn't swing that way."

"But you do?"

"No," I said and laughed nervously. "But I'm open minded."

Liv took her hand from mine and leaned her arm over my shoulder. "Just thought I'd make a suggestion." She rested her chin on her arm and looked up at me. "I'm glad we talked without fighting. This is how it should be. No more fights."

I nodded in agreement. "No more fights."

When I turned away, I felt her lips on my cheek. "Always have, always will, remember?"

I smiled and felt my cheeks burn a little. "Always have, always will."

Liv kissed my cheek and then rested her head on my shoulder. "It's good to have you back."

"You too, Livy."

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I was still in the same position I fell asleep in on the couch. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Liv was stretched across the couch on her side and her head was in my lap. Her back rose and fell with each breath she took. I lightly placed a hand on her shoulder, stroking my thumb across the fabric of my shirt.

Liv started to shift, stirring slightly before stilling again. "I'm late for school," she grumbled.

"I'm late for class," I said.

She started to push herself up into a sitting position and reached for her phone on the coffee table. "My mom, Jude, Ezra, and Taylor have all texted me. Except Taylor sent about twenty messages." She shook her head and started going through them. "I just told my mom I spent the night here, I'll reply to the others later."

I stood from the couch and stretched out my arms. "I'll get your clothes."

After I retrieved her clothes, she walked into my bathroom to change. When she came out, she was fixing her hair back into a ponytail. "I guess I should go." She sighed.

I nodded and walked her to the door.

But she stopped and turned to face me before I could open the door. "You wanna get breakfast?"

I was surprised at first, but recovered. "You sure?"

She looked at me curiously. "Yeah, of course. It'll be a start to this...whatever this is now."

"I'm not really sure either," I admitted. "Friends?"

"Yeah, friends," she repeated. "So, breakfast?"

I jerked my thumb back to my room. "Let me change really quick."

"Okay." She smiled.

I walked backwards, accidentally bumping into the couch, but nervously laughed it off. Turning around, I walked into my room normally and found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. After getting dressed, I brushed my teeth and pulled on a pair of worn out Chucks.

"Whose car do you want to take?" I asked while I sauntered out of my room.

"Yours," she said. "You're a better driver than me."

A smirk rose on my lips. "Are you finally admitting it? After how many years?"

Liv rolled her eyes and opened the door. We left my apartment and found my car in the parking garage. We climbed inside and I drove away. I drove closer to Liv's house and pulled into the small diner there. It's a diner that's been here for years. My mom worked here when she was younger and Liv and I go there a lot. Well, we used to. But it's time to get back to normal things and breakfast is normal, right?

We sat in a booth across from each other and scanned the menus.

A waitress came by and took our orders before disappearing again with our menus.

Liv leaned over on her elbow and sighed. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

I nodded and took a sip of my drink. "I don't even remember falling asleep."

She breathed a laugh. "I don't either. I think the last thing I remember telling you was about the new donuts they have here."

"Yeah, I remember." I joined in on her laughter. "That's about all I remember too."

Liv looked down at the table, her smile slowly disappearing. She remained silent for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "I...I need to talk to Ezra."

I clasped my hands over the table and raised a brow. "What for?"

She raised her head, shaking it gently. "I just feels wrong. It's not that I don't like him, because I really do, it's just not fair to him. My heart...it isn't fully in it. I'm not able to give him everything."

"You should try," I said softly.

She shook her head. "I don't want to hurt him. He doesn't deserve that."

"Liv, if he makes you happy—"

"I can't be with him knowing how I feel about you. And I'm not saying I want to jump into anything. I just kind of want to be on my own. Figure things out up here." She tapped her temple. "I need to work on myself first."

Timidly, I nodded. "Do what you have to."

"I need to do it before it's too late," she went on. "I shouldn't have let it go this far to begin with."

"Why? You have feelings for him. There's nothing wrong with that," I said calmly.

She flicked hand to dismiss it. "I can't have feelings for two people. Especially when one of those people is you. If Ezra doesn't hate me after this, I want to keep him as my friend. He's been great while—it doesn't matter."

I knew what she meant without saying it. "Do you think we would've ever developed feelings if we never..."

Liv shrugged. "I don't know. It's possible, I guess, considering how close we are. But I didn't expect this." She gestured between us. "We shouldn't have let it get this bad."

"I agree, but we can only blame ourselves for that. No, I don't regret that night, but sometimes I think we should've thought about it more before we actually...committed."

She nodded. "We should've, but it happened and now we're dealing with it. Six months late."

I reached over the table and took her hand into mine. She looked up at me, her gaze locking onto mine. Her blue eyes watered and I felt my heart tug. "Listen to me," I said lowly. "We're fine. We're together again and that's all that matters. We won't worry about what happened before, we just need to decide what happens after. What happens now."

She gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand.

The food came and I released her.

We kept the conversation light while we ate, because I didn't want to see her cry again. I never want to see Liv cry. "How is it working for my dad?" She asked, taking a bite of bacon.

"I actually don't see him much," I answered. "But sometimes he'll visit that floor to see how I'm doing. I do like working there though. Everyone's so nice."

"Truly," she said. "My dad knows how to run a business."

After we ate, I drove back to my apartment so Liv could get her car. I walked her up to the first level of the parking garage and she leaned back against her door. "This was nice." She smiled. "When your parents come over for dinner tomorrow, come with them."

"Yeah, definitely," I replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Liv's mouth spread a little more into a wider smile and she climbed in her car.

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Sorry this is late, but it's up!!!! And now everything is out in the open and hopefully they'll be even better in the next chapter!

Please let me know what you think!! and VOTE!!!!! :)

LUV U ALL!!! <3