It wasn't long before the day of the entrance exams were upon you. You'd crammed in as much revision as physically possible before the date, sacrificing your weekends to meet up with Light and have regular study sessions, until you knew your textbooks back to front, and then back again.

Your stomach flipped and rolled and keeled over with nervous energy as you waited outside the exam hall, striking up a marching pace every now and then as the other student's voices filled the corridor with a static buzz.

"Hey [Y/N]-San," a familiar voice said, making your nerves settle before sparking alight again. You turned round and saw Light waving at you with his usual winsome smile. "You all revised and ready?"

You pulled a face. "I don't know. I'm starting to forget everything," you fretted. "Maybe it was a bad idea trying to get into such a good university. Maybe I should go home and-"

"Hey, hey, wait a second. You'll be fine. You've worked really really hard for this. You're gonna do great, I just know it. Look, everyone's going in. We don't want to be the last ones right?"

Untangling a deep breath, you nodded and swivelled round to face the door to the hall, standing on someone's foot in the process. "Whoops, sorr-y..." you trailed off, frowning in confusion at the foot you'd just stepped on - the bare, sock-less, shoe-less foot, the pale skin taking you by complete surprise. "Uhm." You lifted your head hesitantly, further taken aback by the young man lingering in front of you. His expression was unreadable, vacant of any pain or discomfort, but he looked tired. Awfully tired. Thick black shadows hung under both eyes, leaching any colour from his complexion, making him seem ghostly and ethereal, translucent. He offered you a strange smile before turning and away and slipping back into the crush of students, as if he'd never been there to begin with.

"He looked kinda weird," Light commented, resting his hand against the small of your back to guide you forward.

"You don't say. Who goes round wearing nothing on their feet?!"

[ » ]

It turned out the mysterious figure from before was sat directly behind Light during the exam. You were positioned a couple of seats behind and to the left, giving you a clear perspective of the two of them the whole time. The ravenette turned out to be more oddly-mannered than you'd originally thought; the exam was delayed to begin with due to his incongruous seating position, with both feet planted on the chair and his knees crouched and resting against the top of the table. It was odd to say the least, but admittedly the distraction did manage to alleviate your nerves.

The time raced by quickly in the exam, and you stretched out of your seat feeling somewhat confident you'd done okay. The answers had inked from your pen much more confidently than you felt, and you could only put it down to Light's help. You were still partially sour to his popularity and attitude at school, but no matter what you thought, he was still a decent guy, and the first real friend you'd had. You definitely owed him one if it turned out you did well in the exam.

"Hey, wait up," Light called, jogging up to you. His cheeks were flushed a soft pink, his lungs breathless from trying to catch up with you.

You wrinkled your nose, not wanting to appear overly-confident in case things didn't work out in your favour after all. "I really don't know. I thought I answered them okay but I guess I can't be sure."

Light reached over and patted your head, ruffling up your hair, and smiled that over-confident smile that made your stomach go all jittery. "Well I'm confident you did great. So how about we celebrate with a drink or something."

"It's a bit premature for a celebration, don't you think?" You muttered distractedly as your attention was snagged by something else - the boy from before. He was stood a few paces away from you, invisible to the rest of crowd, with his shoulders slouched forward, black hair tousled and unkempt, not unwashed, but unbrushed, and those dark eyes pinned directly on you. You dipped your brows forward, pulling your lips into a tight line, before Light was tugging you along, his hand resting lightly on your arm.

"Hey, were you listening?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry," you said, bowing your head apologetically.

Light studied you carefully, with those dark, calculating eyes, and you shied away. "You look tired. Were you really up worrying all night?"

You shrugged, then nodded as an afterthought. What was the point in hiding anything? He'd already proved to you how good he was at listening, at understanding, at not judging. That was something you appreciated greatly about Light - it was a quality that was difficult to come by these days, in a society where everybody and everything was judged.

"Hey, don't worry," he said again with another affectionate pat to your head. "You've worked really hard for this. And it's gonna pay off, trust me."

And without a doubt, you did.

[ » ]

You went to the usual cafe for your 'celebration', the one with the crysalline lights strung up around the walls, and the pastel cushions and butterfly-printed decorations. You took the window seat this time, resting your forehead against the cool glass and watching the people pass by, unaware of being watched. You did this often, watching life seep by in a solitary idleness, as if you were on the outside looking in, not a part of these people's lives, of their world. You wondered how many of them had committed wrongdoings in their life. Everyone did at some point, didn't they? Some were merely more consequential than others... more punishable.

"Penny for your thoughts? Actually no, cake for your thoughts?" Light chuckled at his own attempt at humour, sliding across a plate of strawberry gataeu. Pink buttercream filling bled out from the slit in the sponge.

You threw him a careless smile, picking up a fork and stabbing the soft flesh of the cake. "Nothing important."

"Okay." He shrugged and slumped into the seat opposite you, shifting the cushion against his back. "Hey, can I try a bit? I didn't get one for myself."

Sticking out your tongue, you forked up another mouthful and held it out to him. He stared at you expectantly, mouth hanging ajar. You deadpanned. "I am not feeding you."

At this, he pouted, and the expression made him look five years younger, those honey-brown eyes melting your heart. You cleared your throat, shaking your head decisively. "Take the fork and feed yourself or you're not getting any."

He didn't say a word. Didn't make a move. Kept those eyes trained on you, that pout on his lips. Growling impatiently, you reached over the table and shoved the end of the fork in his mouth, not too roughly, and sat back with an embarassed huff. "I need a new fork now," you muttered as Ryuk let out a cackle from somewhere behind you. Instead, you made do with wiping it with your napkin, not quite able to meet his eye. You could nevertheless feel his grin, the smugness bleeding through the gaps in those softly curved lips of his. Did he always get what he wanted?

"Oh come on, don't be so shy about it. All the couples do it you know."

Your heart did a little somersault in your chest, and you mental scolded yourself. Don't listen to him. He was just messing with you, teasing you, that's all. That's all he ever does. "Yeah? Well we're not a couple so that's a crap excuse."

Light sipped quietly his tea, and you caught his reflection in the window to your left, caught that unassuming smile on his lips. You frowned, but didn't speak. Neither of you spoke for a while.

"You two are funny. Humans are funny," Ryuk commented, probably trying to stimulate more 'humour' from the two of you. Instead you looked up and focused on him - he was closer than you thought, perched on the back of Light's seat - and caught yourself right in those eyes, those grisly eyes, slick, like pools of blood.

Blood.

You felt sick. It came on you all of a sudden, rooting itself right in the pit of your gut, an unnerving, uncomfortable ache. Something didn't quite feel right.

Your head felt heavy too, fuzzy, and memories started to prick your thoughts, like a needle undoing a thread, picking it apart slowly, before unravelling it all at once - the screams in your lungs, the blood in your vision, the relief in your chest after realising he was dead...

"[Y/N], are you okay?"

Swallowing back the bile in your throat, you pushed away the bloodied plate in front of you - no, it was just strawberry filling - and took a deep breath. "Yes, sorry, I'm okay. I just... don't feel so good. Would you excuse me for a minute?" Without waiting for a reply, you rose shakily to your feet and made your way to the restroom.

It was empty, to your relief. Running the tap, you splashed your face with the icy water, blinking away the rivulets webbed between your lashes as you stared at your reflection.

What was that? That memory - why was it coming through now all of a sudden? That date with Light - it had happened weeks ago. You'd been fine. Unaffected by the whole gruesome affair. You hadn't thought about it since it had happened, but something about Ryuk had reminded you, of those grisly details. Grisly details, grisly thoughts you'd pushed back to the very dark corners of your mind, hoping they'd rust and rot like an old photograph you could no longer decipher and eventually decided to throw out for good. Grisly thoughts you pretended to know nothing about, but had been nudging at you and your mind since you had openly approached the topic of Kira with Light.

You weren't a bad person. You didn't do bad things. You didn't do things that were considered wrong, unlawful in society. But you hated those who did. You hated people who caused pain and misery and suffering. You hated them enough to be thankful when they were gone for good.

But that didn't make you a bad person.

Did it?

There was a sudden knock on the restroom door, and you quickly dried your face and hands before opening it up. Light was waiting outside. "Uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Am I okay? "Yes. I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you. It's been a stressful morning."

He nodded, smiling sympathetically, then, hesitantly, he stretched his hand out toward you. You narrowed your eyes. "You still look pale. I don't want you passing out or anything." It was a bit of a vague excuse, but you took his hand anyway, grateful for the human contact. His skin was soft and warm. "You're ice cold [Y/N]."

"Hmm? Well I did just use cold water to wash my hands," you said, amused. "And here I was, thinking you were a genius and all that."

Light looked mildly offended, squeezing your palm against his. "I am," was all he said.