Chapter 31: Save Me

Song: Save Me by Hollywood Undead (Putting it up here now)

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-James-

All I had to do was make it through today and my dad said I could go home early.

This trip hasn't been so bad. Of course I missed home, but I didn't mind the city and everything that it entails. I also couldn't see myself living anywhere else other than Atlanta. Family is there. I could easily live in Atlanta and take business trips if I had to. I'm getting ahead of myself though. It's not like I'm taking over the business next week. Hopefully that won't be any less than five years.

Another thing is that I haven't talked to my dad on this trip yet. I planned on doing that tonight at dinner. Basically this trip involved a lot of meetings with board members and the only thing I really did was listen and note. There were a few times my dad asked me to throw in some ideas and he seemed pleased with that.

He's been really different on this trip. He seemed to be really happy and never a dull moment in his moods. We went to dinner every night, we split after that, and repeat the same routine in the morning. It hasn't been a bad trip at all. Sometimes I think my dad was actually proud of me. He seemed to be and it gave me more confidence when it came to taking over the company.

But here, on my last day, all I could think about was getting home and sleeping in my own bed. I miss Chaos and I miss Violet. I haven't had much down time since I've been here and I haven't talked to Violet in a few days. We've texted, but no more than a few here and there. That's another reason I couldn't wait to get home. I want to surprise her in the morning when my plane lands.

In just a few minutes, I'll be meeting my dad at the hotel restaurant. I'm going to bring up these past three years and hopefully put them behind us.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see a message from my dad. It was time to meet him downstairs. I was nervous about talking to him because it really could go either way.

I left my room and took the elevator to the second floor where the restaurant was. The guy standing at the podium asked for my name and then led me to a table where my dad was already sitting with a glass of scotch in hand. He stood to greet me with a firm handshake and we sat back down. "So, what did you think about everything?" He asked, clasping his hands over the table.

I nodded. "It's been eventful. Definitely don't know how you keep up with it all."

He genuinely laughed. "Years of practice, I guess. I was the same when I took over for my father. I was only a few years older than you, James. My father told me he couldn't see anyone else. It was really small, but I built it up to what it is today."

"Hopefully I won't disappoint then."

He shook his head. "I know you won't, James. You're good at it. A job like this requires a lot of time and patience. You have that, thanks to me. You definitely didn't get that from your mother," he teased.

I smiled sadly. "I guess I inherited a lot from you."

"Unfortunately," He murmured. "I found an apartment today for Sara and I."

My heart sank. "That's where you were today?"

He nodded and downed the rest of his drink.

"You didn't tell me you were moving to New York," I said with a little bite in my tone.

"I didn't really decide until today. You know you can come visit me whenever. You and Meredith both."

"Would it matter if I said I didn't want you to?" I blurted.

He looked taken aback by my question.

And he didn't say anything.

"Stupid question, right?" I said sarcastically.

Expecting him to burst, he didn't. His expression softened. "Why would you want me to stay in Atlanta? You're almost twenty-one and living on your own—"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked quickly. "It has nothing to do with how old I am, I'm still going to need your help, Dad. I'm always going to need your help and you're too blind to even see it."

An older waitress appeared at the edge of the table to take our orders. I didn't even get a chance to look at the menu so I just said I'd have the same as my dad. I wasn't really hungry anyway.

"Things are different now. You don't need my help. And I'm not saying that to be an asshole. I'm saying that because I trust you to make it on your own. I know you can make it without my help. Look what I've done, James. These past three years...you've managed on your own. You were there for your mom when I couldn't be. You'll do fine without me there."

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut before opening them again. "I've always been afraid I'd turn out like you. I don't want to turn my back on my family like you did."

He leaned on his forearm, the same look contorting his features. "Then why do you still want me around?"

"Because you're my dad," I grounded. "You're still my parent no matter how old I get. And for what it's worth, I don't want you to move."

He just shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms childishly.

"For not being there," He said smoothly. "For doing what I did to your mom and for not taking better care of my kids. I was a coward, James, and I know that. And I hate myself for it. Things are different now." He shrugged a shoulder. "Your mom and I have talked about this already."

"And how does she feel about it?"

"She yelled at me and called me an idiot."

I clenched my jaw to keep from laughing. "Do you still love her?"

"More than anything," he replied without hesitation.

"Then why?"

"In a marriage it takes two people to make it work. Neither one of us were willing to do the work. It was a mutual decision to get a divorce. We didn't want it, but we needed it. We weren't happy and we didn't want to hurt you guys anymore."

I uncrossed my arms and leaned over the table. I dropped my voice down to a whisper and said, "That's bullshit and we both know it."

Dad didn't even look surprised.

"You have to try, Dad. If you love her as much as you say you do, you would've tried. No one goes from loving to can't-stand-to-be-in-the-same-room. It doesn't work like that."

"Yes it does," He said sternly. "It's things you don't understand—"

"You're right," I interrupted. "Because I've never been in love? That's all bullshit too. I love Violet and I can never imagine treating her the way you treated Mom."

He clenched his jaw and I could tell he was fighting off anger now. "You're too young to understand. You've never been married for eighteen years."

"But you love her," I grounded again. "That's all that matters."

He shook his head again. "No, it's not. You don't understand. You and Violet have barely been together. Wait until you're married to someone for as long as I've been. It's not one sided, James."

"You weren't there," I said weakly. "You have no idea what it did to us. And you didn't give a shit. Now you're married again and not to someone you love—"

"I do love Sara," He interjected.

"Like mom?"

He didn't say anything.

"I don't even know why I try," I said flatly. "Nothing I say will get through to you, Dad. I've tried talking to you and it does nothing. You blow me off. I'm your kid and you treat me like an employee."

"James—"

"I want to go home," I said as I stood. "I'm going to get a flight home tonight if I can."

"Just stay—"

"It's pointless." I buttoned my suit jacket back up. "You never listen to me."

"Let's talk, James," He bit out.

I shook my head. "I need to clear my head. We'll talk after Christmas." And I left without another word.

* * *

My flight landed at two in the morning and I couldn't even think about sleep. I wanted to see Violet more than anything right now, but I felt wrong if I went to her house at this hour so I took a cab home and kept my plan to see her in the morning.

I was so angry. So unbelievably angry. Angry with myself and angry with my dad. We talked and it felt real. We haven't had a talk like that since...well ever. My dad was there. The guy that was there before the divorce and before everything went to shit.

The thing about the divorce was a slap in the face. I've spent the past three years blaming my dad. I had no idea she wanted it too. But just because she wanted a divorce, didn't mean she was ready to let go of the man she loves. She would never admit to still loving him, but I know she does. She still has her moments where she'll get a little teary eyed. Sometimes when she sees me she has to take a breath because I look so much like him.

I don't want to be a trigger for my mom's memories with my dad and it sucks. Everything about this situation just sucks.

I'm not too young to know what love is. You grow up with a heart full of it. You learn to love your parents, your siblings, and friends. I fell in love with Violet slowly. Love is a fragile thing that can easily destroy as much as it creates. It'll tear and burn down everything you've worked hard to build with no second thoughts.

Of course, I love Violet differently.

Through the years, I've learned to keep armor around my heart. Eventually it turned cold and I didn't care about anything. My high school years my heart was made of steel. Then my parents got divorced the end of my junior year and I forgot I even had a heart.

Avoiding love is impossible. If you love someone you try. And neither one of my parents tried. My mom was torn and it seemed my dad didn't care. He never saw it at the end.

I felt my eyes burn and I closed off my thoughts.

The cab pulled in front of my apartment building and I climbed out. He met me at the back and started pulling out my luggage. After he closed the trunk, I gave him a half-hearted smile and the cab fare.

I threw my garment bag over my shoulder, the duffle bag went around my arm, and I pulled my suitcase behind me. Now sleep was tugging on my eyes and my head was throbbing.

The woman at the front desk greeted me with a sleepy smile and I made my way to the elevator. I rode the elevator up to my floor and stepped off easily. My apartment was looming ahead and I thought I might fall over. Pulling out my keys, I hurried to unlock the door.

I closed the door behind me and immediately dropped my luggage when I walked into the living room. I unbuttoned my suit jacket and tossed it on the couch on the way to my room. My fingers went to the buttons of my shirt, starting at the top and working my way down.

As I looked up from my doorway, I noticed a figure in my bed.

Curious, I walked to the side it formed on and noticed Violet's sleeping frame with Chaos curled tightly against her. I couldn't help but smile. Instead of waking her, I walked to my dresser to retrieve a pair of sweatpants and changed in my bathroom.

I walked back into my room and got in on the other side of the bed. Chaos stirred slightly, only peering at me before lying back down next to Violet. When I pulled the blanket over me and turned on my side, Violet moved and let out a small moan. "James?" She asked sleepily.

I slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to my chest. "I'm here," I whispered in her ear.

She placed a hand over mine and sighed. "I'm glad you're home."

"I am too," I replied and kissed the back of her neck. "We'll talk in the morning."

She made a small noise and then her breath came out even, letting me know she was already asleep.

Minutes later I was too.

* * *

Violet's eyes went wide after I told her everything over breakfast.

She was quiet as her eyes searched mine.

"I guess I shouldn't have brought it up," I mumbled. "I was pissed off, but I didn't want to upset him. He just makes me so mad and I can't think straight."

"You needed to talk, James," She said softly. "It's eating at you and I can tell it's bringing you down. Does it feel any better?"

"A little bit because he knows how I feel now. I asked him to stay, Vi. That took a lot to ask. Even then he told me no. It doesn't matter what I do and it's so frustrating because I just want him to listen to me for once. Just listen," I expressed.

Violet leaned forward and caressed my face in her hands. "You both need to listen to each other, James. You're both so damn stubborn you can't have an easy conversation. But listen to me," She paused and I wrapped my fingers around her wrists, "he's your dad and he loves you. And I love you. I don't want to see you like this because it kills me. When you're hurting, I am too."

I leaned my forehead against hers and sucked in a breath.

"I'm on your side," She whispered. "I'll always be on your side that's why I don't want you to give up on him."

"I won't," I said finally. "Thank you for listening."

"You're welcome." Her breath fanned over my lips as she tilted her head up to kiss me. The first kiss I've had from her in ten days.

It was small and gentle. Long enough to taste the coffee on her lips. I pulled back and inhaled. "I love you so much."

She responded by kissing me again and quickly. I made the move to pull her in my lap and it was an easy transition without the kiss parting. Her mouth opened under mine and after a few seconds she pulled away, gasping for a breath. She proceeded to bury her face in my neck, her warm breath spreading over my skin. She snaked her arms around my neck and breathed out again.

After a minute, she leaned back and looked in my eyes again. "You okay?" I asked, biting back my smile.

"Yeah." She smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I lifted a hand to her chin, gripping it between my pointer and thumb. "Just checking."

She leaned in again, her lips only touching lightly against my own. "I gotta get to work. Your mom is going to kill me if I'm late."

"But I haven't seen you in almost two weeks," I playfully pouted.

"Well I am on break now so..."

I smiled against her lips and pulled her in for another kiss before letting her go. "Then tomorrow you're all mine."

She stood up off my lap and smiled. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

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Another filler, but people wanted to know what went on during the trip. Nothing really happened until the last day he was there lol. It also gives you more insight into their relationship and I swear if anyone calls him girly, I will find you and knock some damn sense into you. :))))) But honestly, James has feelings too. :)

Please vote and comment? Let me know what you think pleeeaasee? :)

Also I couldn't resist making that gif...the jaaaaawwwwww



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