Red started barking and running in circles the second there was a knock at your door. You didn't know how he could manage to move so fast and not trip himself up. It looked like a real challenge with his one leg missing but if there was one thing you learned, it was that he never let the missing limb hold him back.

"Coming!" You yelled as you scooped the dog up.

He immediately settled down into low growls. Apparently being held calmed him down to some extent, or maybe he'd grown accustomed to your company. You knew who was at the door. Well, technically you didn't know them per se, but you were expecting them. When you opened it, you weren't sure what they were going to look like but what you saw wasn't what you imagined.

They were male, you could tell that much when they called you not even an hour ago. He had one of those deep, sultry voices that told you the person accompanying it had to be gorgeous. Now you could say for sure that was true. His long, blonde hair reached down to his ass and seemed too thick to properly control. Bangs fell in his eyes, only letting you catch flashes of blue here and there as he shifted from one foot to the other. He obviously worked out on a regular basis, there was no mistaking that with how his muscles strained against the fabric of his shirt.

And while he was much taller than you and easily almost as intimidating as Cracker, as soon as he smiled you felt any signs of nervousness disappear. It had to be something about tall muscular guys, they always seemed to make you a little tense.

"Uh, Killer, right?" You asked.

The question was silly though. He had to be the man you were looking for, the way Red struggled to leave your arms and get to him told you so.

"That's me." He held his hands out and you let Red squirm into his arms. "It was a huge relief knowing someone was taking care of this troublemaker. I don't think he'd ever make it on his own."

"He's been no problem." You smiled back at him as Red got comfortable, very much happy to be back with his owner. "I would've gotten him back to you sooner but I guess at some point during his escapade the tags snapped off."

Killer checked the collar, thumbing along where the tags should have been. You'd removed the twisted clasp that originally held them, afraid the dog would cut himself on the sharp edge.

"Would you happen to know exactly what kind of antics he got himself into?"

"Yeah...." You smiled sheepishly, knowing he wasn't going to like the sound of this, no one in their right mind would. "He somehow got into my workplace and wrecked it. I work in a kitchen of sorts and he pretty much got into anything he could reach."

Killer's eyes widened, like he hadn't thought his dog would be crazy enough to pull a stunt like that.

"But it wasn't a big deal." You added hurriedly. "My boss is super cool and had no problem getting things fixed up. He let me bring your dog here to take care of, clean up and all that jazz."

"Still, I'm sorry for all the trouble he caused, he's always been a handful. Here, I actually put together some money for a reward."

He transferred Red to one arm and fished around in his pocket with his one free hand, pulling out an impressive was of cash. You immediately shook your head and refused to take it as he offered.

"Really, I didn't mind the company and seeing him get to go home is reward enough."

"Are you sure?" Killer raised an eyebrow at you. "I know he had to be a handful."

"Yeah, it's no biggie, I'm glad I could keep him from being stuck in a shelter, even if it was only for a short while."

"Well Eustass and I really appreciate it." He jostled the dog a bit as he said Eustass. You'd never heard of a dog with such a normal persons name and it brought a smile to your face.

Killer stuck around for a short while longer and you talked in the doorway. There was no beating around the bush with it, the man had a way with words and if he hadn't casually suggested that he already had a girlfriend, you would've tried to get his number. It'd been a while since you'd gotten to talk with someone so nice and good looking who wasn't a friend or co-worker. You needed to get out more.

As he was leaving, a familiar, large truck pulled up, filling in the only last open spot for street parking. When Killer pulled out and drive away, you couldn't help but notice how aggressively the truck stopped. It jerked forward, like it had too much momentum or like he'd stomped on the breaks. When Cracker stepped out, slamming the door shut behind him, you were betting it was the latter.

He was scowling heavily, glancing at Killer's car as he passed by. When he marched past you silently and dropped himself onto your couch, you weren't sure if asking what had him all bent out of shape would be a good idea. You could see his muscles coiled and tense under his sweater, his jaw grinding back and forth, and the anger in his eyes. He'd always been a little scary to you before. Now he felt completely unapproachable. But for some reason, you still decided to risk saying something.

You closed the front door carefully and went to the kitchen. There was a pie in the fridge that you'd just made the other day, it'd work great as a peace offering. You got a generous slice on a plate and took it over with a fork, placing it on the coffee table in front of him before sitting on the edge of the chase.

"Red's owner came by and took him home."

"The guy with the fancy looking car?" He growled.

"Yeah."

"Looked like a prick."

"He was nice."

"I'll take your word for it."

He looked down at the plate angrily but made no move to pick it up. Nothing said pissed beyond help more than a Charlotte refusing sweets. You pushed your lips, debating asking him about it. He'd unconsciously balled his hand into a fist and it ruined the whole lazy effect him laying across the couch created.

"Did you want to talk about it?" The words slipped out of your mouth before you could really process what you were even doing.

"No." He snapped, raising his voice slightly.

You sat in tense silence while he continued to scowl away at the slice of pie. It didn't take long for you to decide you weren't wanting to put up with him coming over just to pout. With a sigh, you got up and snagged your keys from the kitchen counter. The jingling seemed to bring Cracker back to the moment.

"Where're you going?"

"Out."

"Why?"

You frowned and turned to face the couch, seeing him crane his head back to look at you over the side.

"I'm not going to stick around if you're just going to do...this. It makes me anxious."

"....Will you stay if I stop?"

The question seemed so innocent, almost like something a kid would ask and the curious look he suddenly had didn't help that train of thought.

"I mean, I guess, but I don't think it's possible for someone to stop being angry about something on command."

He looked towards the blank TV screen and you'd thought he was ignoring you, maybe like he decided to give up on asking you to stay. But when you turned on your heels to head outside like you'd planned, he spoke up again.

"Does the offer to talk still stand?"

"Sure."

"Get back here then." He pointed to the chase, like he'd figured out that was pretty much the only seat you used.

You huffed at the command but did as he said anyway, dropping your keys back where you found them on the way.

"What's got you in a mood then?" You asked.

"Well," He rearranged himself until he was sitting up and picked up the fork to poke at the pie half-heartedly. "you know how big my family is on being a big family?"

"You mentioned your mom adopting a lot of your siblings."

"She also likes us marrying for the same reason. The more folks in the family tree, the happier she is."

You had a feeling you knew where this was going.

"While she's given us older siblings free reign and let us decide things like marriage on our own, that's changed now for some of us."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She wants more of her blood kids to start actively looking for partners." His face twisted into an aggravated sneer. "I'm the cut off. The siblings older than me are excluded from that but me and those younger are supposed to start looking for real."

"I mean....I can see why that'd piss you off, I wouldn't want anyone telling me how to live my life either, but can't you tell her you'd rather not? Unless you'd want to find someone that is, at that point I'd say tell her you're going at your own pace, y'know?"

"If it were that easy I wouldn't be pissed off about it." He stabbed a bite off the pie and shoved it in his mouth.

"So I guess the best place for me to start with this is to ask, do you want a partner?" You leaned back into the chase and pulled Geoffrey into your lap to cuddle.

He'd been sitting on the floor, originally knocked down by Red, or Eustass as you should probably call him, so he could cuddle up to the stuffed giraffe. You were glad the dog didn't have destructive tendencies, at least not to your plushies.

"I dunno. Never actively looked for someone and I haven't come across a candidate that caught my attention before."

"Okay, what makes all this complicated? What happens if you don't find someone that works for you?"

He took another bite, this time a little less aggressively. "If I don't at least have some kind of girlfriend soon enough for her tastes, she'll find one for me."

"And what if you decide you don't like her and tell your mom that?"

"I'll be stuck with her anyway."

You frowned. Charlotte Linlin was someone you always held in high regards. She was someone you looked up to with what she made of herself but you weren't liking her forcing relationships on her kids.

"And am I right in assuming telling her no would result in something bad?"

"I honestly have no clue." He shrugged. "We don't tell her no and a lot of us don't like the idea of doing so, that includes me."

"But you can't let her choose your life for you. Making your own choice would be better, even if she didn't like it."

"Look." He sighed. "I can see you want to be helpful but I don't think this is something you fully understand."

That only made your frown deepen. "Low blow, don't you think?"

Cracker's eyes widened like he just realized what he'd said. "No, I didn't mean it like that, its– I–" He bent forward and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He took a slow breath. In and out. "What I meant is you've always had the freedom of choice, at least as far as I know. With us, what momma says, goes. Does that make more sense?"

That did actually. You assumed he'd meant you wouldn't understand with the lack of family compared to him. Or in general really. But he was right. You'd never had someone tell you what you could or couldn't do.

"Yeah...." You took a second to think.

Cracker had done a lot for you and more than anything, you'd like to pay him back for it. If that meant helping him find a solution to his issue, you'd be happy. It wouldn't be enough to pay him back fully for all that he'd done but it'd be a good start. Then an idea hit you

"If all she's looking for is for you to have someone with a title, why don't you find a fill in? Just until you find someone you really like."

"You mean I should go for a temporary girlfriend?"

"Exactly. Let them know what's going on, have some girl you think you can tolerate being around until you have your real choice. You won't have to actually be in a real relationship with them."

"Using someone for a stand in sounds kinda shitty." He had worked away at the pie fast enough that the plate was now clean. He licked his lips and settled back into the seat comfortably, in a much better mood now.

"That's why you let them know what they're getting into. They can agree to it and as long as they're fine with it, I don't think it's all that bad."

"Huh." Cracker broke into a wide smile. "That's not all that of a bad idea."

"I know you said you aren't sure about wanting a partner but at least that buys you time to think." You continued.

"It would. The problem is finding someone willing to do it...."

You could tell he didn't think on that long, which meant it apparently wasn't as much of a problem as he said it was. At least not to him. His smile grew bigger and his eyes shone as he suddenly leaned forward.

"(Y/n)."

You weren't as thrilled when you saw the plan forming in his eyes.

"Hold on." You felt yourself blushing as you shook your head. "I need you to stop thinking what you're thinking."

"Aw c'mon, it'd just be a title! Everything would be the same. I'd still come by from time to time, work wouldn't be affected, especially since we don't work together. Katakuri wouldn't care and like you said, it'd be temporary."

"No! I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"First off, you may not be my boss but you're my bosses brother. Secondly, there's a real age gap between us. And last, I'd just feel weird about it."

"Counter argument; I have no standing over your work position so whether you held the title or not, I couldn't bother you at work. Plenty of people get together with big differences in age and besides, I'm told I look young for my age. And it's only weird if you make it weird. We won't have to do anything, it'd only be me letting my mom know I have a 'girlfriend.' That's it."

You groaned, rubbing your face with your hands. "And exactly how old are you?"

"40."

"That's a 12 year difference." You hissed.

"That's fine, it's temporary."

"I don't want to be a part of this."

"You suggested it."

"And now I'm regretting it. I just wanted to be helpful!"

"And you have been." He hummed happily. "I feel like making deal is our thing, like the defining part of our relationship. How about we make this into another one. Let's say you go along with this for however long it takes and......I guess I'll owe you one for whenever something big comes your way. You get to find a time to call on me for anything you want, it'd be up to your discretion."

You didn't like the sound of any of this but the self satisfied smirk he wore made you realize no matter what you said, he'd find a way to win in the end. Maybe that was something he and his mom had in common, they couldn't take no for an answer.

"You'd owe me for whatever I want?"

"Anything."

"That's a big risk on your part."

"This'd be you saving my hide, I'd say it's worth it."

"It's just a title, we don't do anything, and we drop the act the second you find a real girlfriend."

"Of course."

You sighed and slumped into the seat, squeezing Geoffrey for moral support. "I hope I don't regret this."

Cracker chuckled, content now that his issue was resolved. "I'm sure you won't. This'll work out fine."

You felt that him saying that was bound to jinx the whole thing. Only time would tell.

(A/n)
Sorry for waiting so long to update! Wasn't in the mood to write as much this week so I didn't force it. Ended up reading some BNHA instead and it got me in the mood to plan out a fanfic for it. Somehow that actually got me back in a writing mood too, funny enough. Also, decided to make Cracker 40 in this. I've done this in one other fanfic and decided it'd work well in this one too.