Lily's pov:

I can't believe I met Phi Cherry today. How... how and why does she have the gut to show up in front of me after 4 freaking years while I didn't dare to keep a single contact in order to avoid her and move on? And now that I'm finally over that, she's here coming after me shamelessly knowing how much she had already hurt me.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about her wanting to win me over for the first time. Am I supposed to be happy that she's come back to me after 4 years? Or should I be angry that she left me helpless with unanswered questions and doubts?

I left for Philippines where my dad was and thought a new environment will probably help me move on but it made it worse. Wherever I went, all I noticed were the similarities it had to Phi Cherry and no, I couldn't move on. All I saw in my dreams was her leaving me screaming on the floor, mercilessly.

After 3 years, I had finally found the peace I wanted and came back to Thailand to a place which had no similarities with P'Cherry and I was almost able to move on. But all of my effort to move on laid down in vain the day she re-entered in my life.

And now, I'm back to my old condition. After a year of staying peacefully, I've got that nightmare back in my eyes today and it's the worst.

After we broke up, I'd left my contacts untouched for more than a month, hoping she'd try to reach out to me and fix things up but she never did. I still have so many questions and she broke my trust. What if I forgive her and she leaves me giving no answer again? How could she do that after everything I'd helped her go through, everything I'd done for her?

And yes, I was pissed so I didn't contact her either instead I decided to cut all my ties with her and move on which wasn't the best decision but I was too busy being mad to think logically. And my stupidness caused me to still suffer from those uncleared doubts.

I also heard from Jenny that Phi Cherry did look for me and came to her and when she told her I went abroad, she lost hope.
I sometimes feel bad for never ever contacting her again. But what would someone else do if they were in my position? Wait for her? When she never even told me the reason of the breakup or told me to wait for her? Waiting without a goal? I am not that patient! She knows that.

Anyways, life doesn't flow according to me. No matter how hurt I am, I must continue or I'll lose this game of joy and sorrow. The company day has started. I needed to go back to office. Otherwise,.. well, everyone knows the consequences. But the fear wasn't of work. It was rather of Phi Cherry who I would had to meet everyday from then on.

Maybe I should have a calm one on one talk with her? Probably get to know the reason behind the breakup? Since she said she can explain, I believe she really can! I could first listen to her and then decide whether to forgive her or not. Maybe it'll ease the pain that I've been going through all these years.

I got ready and left for work, as usual. One thing I didn't know if I liked or hated was her seat being right next to mine. Was that done on purpose?
Same as yesterday, she also followed me around today like crazy and I ignored her. I wanted to know for how long she could go on with this. But something unusual was she was communicating with people way more than she did before.

Was she trying to change herself for me? I don't know. And she knew that her, as a person who was more of an introvert, I liked her to be more confident and I'd never seen her this confident in my whole life.

I really needed to have a private, one on one conversation with her but that couldn't be done in the office. Once I finished my work, I was about to ask her for a dinner to sit and talk it out but to my surprise, she asked me first.

After office, we went to a nearby restaurant to have a talk.

Cherry's pov:

I wish I could tell Lily that I was searching for her the whole time. Without her, I am nothing. I don't have any recognition, all I have is nothing. I'm basically an orphan. The only thing an orphan craves for is love. And for me, that love is you, Lily.

She has no idea how much I love her, how hard I've tried to contact her and get to her all these years. The source of my weakness, my strength, my happiness, my sorrow, everything is you, Lily.

I sat behind Lily in a pretty noisy restaurant near our office. At first, the awkwardness was clear but I decided to speak up first, breaking the silence. "Do... you want to order anything?" I asked, scratching my head.

"No, Phi. I'm okay. You don't have to act so formal. I'm not here to eat. I'm here to talk about... you know what," She said, giving me a sign to go on and explain. I shook my head.

"Okay. Lily, let me explain. I have reasons behind everything I did," I requested.

"But Phi, why didn't you come to explain this before I went over?" She seemed irritated, annoyed with me and my games and I don't blame her. I'd be pissed too if I was her.

"I have a reason for that too. You can ask me every question you have in mind. I'm really sorry, Lily, for leaving you."

"Then why did you break up with me, Phi?" She asked, a bit loudly, getting impatient.

"Okay, then. Listen to me carefully. Remember a few days before we broke up, we went to the mall, right?" I tried to explain calmly.

"Hmm." She shook her head, carefully thinking, trying to remember the day, her face was the most serious I'd ever seen and to be honest, she looked scary.

"You remember how I kept telling you how I felt like someone was following us?" I asked. "Uh-huh." She was very calm, just listening to me.

"Well, someone actually was following us but it was too late when I found out," I said as Lily tilted her head a bit out of surprise and confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Then later I headed to somewhere late at night?" I took Lily's hand in mine above the table. "Right! Why and where did you go that night?"

"Well that's the main thing. Dad called me that night to come to his house and confronted me about you. Even though I wasn't surprised that he found out and somehow got our photos together, I didn't expect it to be that soon," I explained.

What happened next?" She leaned forward, finally trying to understand what I was meaning to say.

"He threatened me that he'll hurt you if I didn't break up with you," I explained and she bit her lips. "And why didn't you tell me about that?" She looked at me with soft eyes, showing pity.

"He made me promise that I couldn't tell you about the actual reason either," I said as I looked down to my feet which were slightly fidgeting back and front.

"Phi, are you okay?" She now stood up and hugged me. I felt like I was melting in her arms. I knew it'd been 4 years already since all of that happened but it's too much for anyone to bear. Specially when it's your own dad hurting you in every way possible.

I felt tears in my eyes rolling down the cheeks, feeling her embrace after a long time. All my emotions that I held back for years immediately burst out. Since I found all of this and Lily got out of my life, I'd lost the will to continue anymore but I needed to fulfill my goal of getting Lily back in my life, The only person who can make me happy and forget all the struggles which I had to bear.

I noticed pretty much everyone in the restaurant were staring at us but we didn't care much. Once my sobs calmed, we slowly detached our bodies and I took a breath of relief after being able to let go of my emotions and words that I held on for those years.

"Lily, will you please give me another chance?" I held her soft, beautiful hands and asked. I can't believe I survived even after not getting to hold those hands for 4 years.

"I need some time to think about it, Phi Cherry," She replied. And I got it. I understand her perspective. If someone dated me and left me without giving me a reason, I wouldn't be able to easily trust the person either. But what felt angelic was when I heard her call me Phi Cherry in that same familiar soft voice after such a long time. I wish I could just save that as a voice record in my memory and listen to it forever.

"I understand," I replied with finally a smile on my face after getting able to clear up with a talk. Even if Lily now ends up saying no, I won't mind anything. I'd cleared up what I needed to clear up and if she says no, I have no regret. Love you, Lily.

To Be Continued.....