John^^^

March 26, 2017

When l first meet Sandy, she gave me the a book that shaped my sexual lifestyle. It opened my eyes to a world I never expected. Sandy gave it to me '120 Days Of Sodom' it was first written in 1785...

The book told of men who want a free sexual experience. They locked themselves away in a house with their victims. For no holes bared sex. When they where done using the people they killed their victims. There are those who think that this is where BDSM started.

I was hooked, not with the acts of brutal sex, but with the men. They took what they wanted, as cared little for their victims. Or what others thought them.

I wanted that power, but at the time a woman could not take what she wanted. Females where to be quiet, soft, and stay on bottom. A women who activity went after a man was marked as whores. Even today it is still the same.

Of course I didn't want to kill my partners. I just wanted to do what felt good for me I wanted to be in control of the men I had sex with. He would be there for my pleasure.

I found my type of man back then in a linebacker from my old high school. He was beautifully built. It took me some time, but I finally got him where I wanted him. On bottom and all tied up..

He loved it..... I had my fun....

That was then, this is now...

Sunday was a slow days, reserved for family visits. I spent most of the day cooking a big meal for lunch. NASCAR was the only thing playing on the TV. My daughter and her family came to visit all the way from Alpharetta. As well as John, who was now sitting on my couch.

After my daughter's family left for their two hour drive home. Donny came into the living room. I could tell he was uncomfortable about what he was about to ask.

"l need to change the oil in my bike. Can I do it at the shop today? Some of the others are going on a short ride to the Clark's Hill dam this afternoon and I want to go." He questioned Griffin shifting from feet to foot.

Griffin looks up from the tv. "Just as long as your done before the race. Oil and the filter are not free either." He challenged.

"I know, there's teacher work day tomorrow, so no school. I can give you 8 hours then." My son straightened his back and lifted his chin.

"Ok, I'll go with you. Just to make sure you don't make a damn mess." He stands to follow my son out.

If my son was working for him officially, he would get $13.50 a hour for pay. For a 8 hour day he would pull in $108 dollars. Before taxes. A oil change costed $45 dollars. In short, Griffin is getting $63 dollars of free labor. From his own son.

As soon as he goes I pick up my book and start to read. I can't do this when he is here. He doesn't like anything that distracts me from him. Reading, my phone, my children. I have to read quickly before he comes back.

"Good book?" John's low voice startles me.

I had forgotten he was here.

I mentally estimate the drive time plus the time it would take for the oil change. I have time to play..I give John a soft smile. "Yes, I have picked up some books I used to read before I was married."

"Oh?" His eyes widen slitely. My eyes fall to his full lips, and back up to his eyes.

"Mmm.. Yes, it was a lifestyle ago." I watch as his hand tighten on his beer. His thick arm jerks with the effort.

"Don't you mean lifetime?" He drags his hand through his hair leaning forward on the couch. His long dark bangs fall back into his eyes.

"Do you read, John?" My smile widens as he shifted again on the couch. I place my hand on my neck. Dragging my finger tips down to the neckline of my v-neck tshirt fingering the edge.

"Yea, I'm reading Crichton at the moment." He shifted again. His eyes eagerly follow my fingers.

"Hold that thought." I quickly stand and move to my small book case in our bedroom. Grab the book that keeps me up at night with it's hot BDSM content. I return downstairs with the thoughts of laying the ground work for my future.

When I return John stands like the gentleman he is. I stand before him and press the book into his chest. "Have you ever heard of BDSM, John?" I look deep into his eyes as they go dark with lust. John steps closer and his larger hands over mine.

"I read some." He answered, his voice gets just a bit deeper.

"Did you know, before I was married, I was close to becoming a Dominatrix?" I ask, and delight in the heat creeping into his eyes.

John hands curls around mine as he takes another step closer. "What do you think about me being a Domina, and about BDSM?"

"Well I've read that it takes alot of self confidence to become one, a dominatrix. It as takes alot of strength to submit. Though it is something I thought of, for myself." His eyes drift down to the floor through out his admission, but he still has a shy smile playing on his lips.

"You know there are places you can go to find out if that something you really wanted." I noted. He still has his eyes trained on the floor between us.

"Yeah,...just, not with the one I want to do it with." He peeks back at me. The shy is gone replacing it is nothing but sheer desire. Without a doubt I know he means me.

Then we both hear the familiar sound of Griffin's bike. John moves away quickly, and sits back on the couch. I simply smile.....

Just as Griffin walks in "John, would you like some cake?" I look to the door "oh your back, cake?" He barely grunts and nods. Making his way to his chair to watch the race.

John has that deer in headlights look. My book is now hidden under his shirt.

That was fun...I smile, a real fun time.

Of course I would never had been that bold if not for my phone call from yesterday. I was lucky and Sandy answered on the second ring.

"Charlie! I can't believe it's you." She screams into the phone.

I can only chuckle. "It's me alright."

"What have you been up to?" I can hear shifting in the background.

"Well, you know raising babys, keeping house." I answered, taking a sit at our kitchen table.

"You know I didn't hear anything about loving your husband." Leave it to Sandy to cut to the chase.

"About that, do have time to talk?" I ask.

"For you, I have all the time in the world." Sandy reassures me.

So I go through the whole story. I recount all the things that have been happening over the last year. Even Griffin's flirting and my pushing up on John.

After she congratulates me on John I ask for help. "Well, that's alot to take in." Sandy admits.

"I think, it's over and I need someone, hell I don't know, talk too. If this does end, I need a future." I stumbled over my words. "I was hoping you could help me" I ask almost cringe as I wait her refusal.

"Anything for you girl. We have missed you, and think of you often." She tells me without missing a beat.

"We?" I question.

"Bull and myself, we still think of as a close friend. Even though all the years. You know I am looking into opening up a club?" She says excitedly. "We are just looking for investors."

As we catch up over our lost years I begin to mull over the prospect of starting a club. She never asked me, but it is a thought. Something I will keep to myself until the time is right. It maybe time for a move. Change of scenery, a place where I can make a new life

Yeah it's definitely worth considering.