It wasn't unusual for Seokjin to get his palms sweaty even in the coldest of weathers. It had always been a nervous habit of his, one he could never seem to get rid of or loose. He didn't think he was nervous despite his body telling him otherwise. He felt more worried than he was nervous, scared than he was anxious, sad, than he was upset. He could feel his heart in his throat beating loudly, making him short of breath, and frankly closer to tears than he thought.

He hated crying, most especially in front of his son, so he held it in, needing to be strong for more than just himself. Jeonghan was the first to walk through the doorway when he opened the door, putting away his shoes and his coat before gently plopping on the couch. He looked exhausted, Seokjin noted so, his eyes were a little droopy with sleep, limbs a little loose from his body. His little nose was blushed from the cold, his lips set into a small pout as he looked up at Seokjin.

"I miss daddy." He uttered, almost silently, looking away the next second when he saw the worried look on his Appa's face. Over the past few days Seokjin had come to realize that he wasn't exactly fond of this part of their conversation. It made his son sad, longing, and that in turn tugged at his heart strings, making him feel helpless that he couldn't do anything about what he wanted.

Putting his shoes away, he joined the little one on the couch, Jeonghan immediately snuggling up to his side, like always, clingy when sleepy. "I miss him too, sweetheart." He muttered back, petting his hair soothingly, trying to lull him off to sleep. He felt tired too, but he knew the thoughts in his head wouldn't allow him rest, the worries he had wouldn't let him be. God, he wanted to cry, wanted to just curse the world and make it right.

"I wish he saw me play today. I played my best." The boy mumbled sleepily, and Seokjin hummed, laughing lightly to himself as he imagined how Jeonghan cheeks were probably puffed out now. The kid had indeed played his best at today's football match, a little group of age seven and eight, grade two and three, converging for a friendly match at the school grounds. Jeonghan had been one of them, and he had played the best of his capabilities, everything that his father had taught him taught.

"He would have been so proud that you won. He loves you very much." He could almost picture the sweet dimpled smile on his husband's face if he were to see how good Jeonghan had played. He could imagine him jumping up and down, kissing their son before treating him to whatever he would want. He would shower him with affection, funnily if Jeonghan won or not. He would generally just be proud that their son had played, that he had done something he loved.

Circumstances hadn't allowed that, and he felt sad about it, even more that Namjoon was probably beating himself up wherever he was for missing it. It wasn't his fault, wasn't anybody's, but it had happened, and Jeonghan had almost shed a tear to see his father missing from the bleachers, his number one fan absent from his game.

"Appa, can I sleep in your room tonight?" Jeonghan asked, sounding sleepy but hopeful in the same. Times when he was sad, or missed one his parents, he'd get clingy, he'd want to be closer to either of them than ever. Seokjin knew it was the least he could do to comfort him, so he hummed in agreement, stroking his head lovingly before putting a small kiss on the crown of his head.

"Of course sweetheart. I'll go get the bed ready. Go brush your teeth." He instructed the almost eight year old, making sure he wasn't half sleeping before letting him go to the bathroom.

Walking into their room, it felt empty without his husband, it felt lonely without his laugh, or his philosophical words. He could see them quietly playing around after putting Jeonghan to bed. Chasing each other like kids, or playing pillow games like enemies. He could see them solving the crossword puzzle over glasses of wine, or tiredly talking about their day in the bubbled tub over soft music. He could see them making love, holding each other to the break of dawn, all while soaring in pleasure, and he missed that, he missed him, his husband.

He couldn't help it as he checked his phone once more, only to come up empty of any calls or texts. Disappointment washed over him, more worry flooding his senses at what could have been happening.

Work got hectic sometimes, he knew first hand the tight schedules he experienced in leading a million dollar company, and he couldn't blame Namjoon for having gotten caught in the middle of his. Sometimes he worried that they were giving too much to their occupations, but it wasn't ever anything they couldn't overcome, always they found a way to be there for their son, for their little growing family, and for themselves.

It had been a little over a year since they moved in together, a little over a few months since they got married, and to say it felt marvelous was an understatement. Seokjin believed they had finally found their footing, he believed that perhaps the universe was compensating for how much pain it had caused them. They were happy, the happiest they had ever been, not to add that they had finally given Jeonghan the family that he deserved.

He loved his husband with everything in him, something that made his fully dependant on the man. God, he could probably not breath without him, couldn't stay focused while he missed him. It was always hectic whenever they were separate for whatever reason, be it work or anything else, and Seokjin always felt sick without him, but this was more than that, this ran deeper than just worrying for his husband because he was away on a work trip, this was much stronger.

"Get in, sweety, I'll just have a shower quickly, alright?" He held the covers up for the little boy who had changed into his pajamas, covering him up, not surprised when little snores came from him not a minute later. He had been exhausted, and Seokjin was grateful he had thought about eating out because Jeonghan wouldn't have done anything once he got home.

Quickly stripping off his clothes, he jumped into the shower, needing a routine bath before his bed. He tried not to think of his husband's absence, or the lack of warm hands caressing his body. He tried not to get in his head, but fuck, he couldn't just let it rest. He missed him, missed him being around, and it didn't help that he didn't know if Namjoon was safe.

A work trip to an island in the coast of Japan had turned into a two day nightmare now, where he couldn't reach his husband. The few times they had talked, Namjoon had  mentioned the bad weather, but then reports of a tropical storm had started trickling in, mentions of flash floods  and so forth and that had deeply troubled him. The private jet he and Yoongi had taken couldn't fly out, so Namjoon had called to let him know that their departure would be delayed, that had been more than a day ago, so he was quickly filling with worry.

The cellphone reception was horrible, the video and audio means hindered so that he couldn't effectively reach out to him. BigHit assured, after Seokjin stormed there to demand they reach his husband - that the resort they were staying at was completely safe and that there was nothing to worry about.

They assured that they had tried, and that they managed to successfully received a message from one of the assistants, and that everything was alright, and honestly that was what was keeping Seokjin going. It had been almost two days now since they spoke, and although the recent report stated that the impromptu weather was significantly going down, he couldn't help fuss because Namjoon or Yoongi still hadn't contacted him.

It worried him to no end that he didn't know how they were fairing, if they were alright or not, if there was something missing or not. There had been a few injured people reported in the Island, and it made Seokjin weak in the knees to even think about it. He couldn't bare anything happening to Namjoon, he wouldn't know the first thing to do if such occurred, let alone how he would cope.

They still had a long life ahead of them, more memories that they needed to make, more things that they needed to live through, and happiness in abundance to experience. He needed Namjoon to be here, perhaps now more than ever. He couldn't count how many times he'd prayed for his husband to return safely to him. 

Sighing out, he tried to stop the tears from coming down, letting the warm water rush off his back to relieve him a bit off his stress. His hand on instinct ghosted over his abdomen, lean fingers gently pressing over his stomach, before they caressed over his skin, subtly feeling the little bumped that was forming.

God, Namjoon needed to come home, they still had a family to raise together, to love together. He needed him here, needed to tell him of what miracle they had made. A sole tear left his eye, sad, but incredibly happy in the same, they had finally done it, and he couldn't wait for his man to come home so he would tell him.

                     💜💜💜💜💜
After hours and hours of searching for sleep, Seokjin eventually got tired at the break of dawn, drifted in and out of his slumber, really. His raging thoughts didn't let him be, his worry for his husband at peak when no communication came through. He only cuddled Jeonghan tighter, silently praying that the love of his life, the father of his children, would arrive soon.

He was alerted of a new day when his now usual wake up call came. His stomach churned abruptly before he felt the bitter taste of his morning sickness in his mouth. He bent over the toilet, gurgling out the contents of his stomach, heaving out in short breaths as it burned through his throat. When it had started two weeks ago he hadn't paid it a lot of mind, most especially because it was random and irregular, and it could have been an upset stomach, which he got often, but then in the past few days it had become regular, he had also been unusually light headed so he had resolved to take a test. He had ended up taking five of them, different types just to confirm. Now, a small part of him kinda wished he hadn't, because only god knew how much he hated the nausea.

Nausea was admittedly one of the worst parts of this. It raked through your being, and would most probably ruin your day, especially if it happened in the morning. He could remember having Jeonghan, and how much he hated the toilet and the sound of puke. It made him sick, made him cry his eyes out in suffering, and curse the world for the torture it was putting him through But looking back it, he had just been bitter and hurt at being alone. He had felt abandoned, felt like his son and him were betrayed, and he had hated the world for it.

This is why this was different. As much as it was pregnancy with its, disadvantages, this was with Namjoon, and he felt safe and secured with that thought. Knowing he would be in the arms of the man he loved through it, knowing he would receive his care and his love, that his baby would be brought into the world in such gentleness and with such affection, made it different. He didn't mind the sickness, he would do it over and over again if it would make his husband happy.

Namjoon deserved it.

Mastering up the strength, he stood to his feet, flashing the toilet before moving to the sink to wash up. He was in the middle of brushing his teeth when he heard a car sleek into the compound, the buzzing at the gate, and the sound of the wheels on the gravel alerting him of an entrance. He hadn't been expecting anyone, so immediately he knew of the only person it could be...

Heart leaping in his chest, he quickly cleaned up, rushing out of the bathroom, only to see Jeonghan dart out of the room, clearly alerted of the sound as well. He came around the corner, his heart melting in joy as he heard the sound of Jeonghan screaming in excitement out of the open front door, and his husband's voice as he embraced the boy, laughing and giggling with him while Jeonghan muttered 'Daddy' almost a hundred times.

He held in his breath, relief washing over him as Namjoon came through front door in one piece, looking just as fine as he had left. He felt like he could finally breath again, watching as his husband tagged along his bag, holding up Jeonghan who was fully clinging to him with the other hand. Namjoon was alright, he was safe, and as soon as he made eye contact with him, he wanted nothing more than to leap in his arms, to hug him to death, and kiss him senseless. He wanted to tell him how worried he had been, how scared and afraid he was to not know of how he had been doing.

Namjoon stared at his glowing  partner, heart leaping at the ever ethereal sight of the man he loved. He looked gorgeous albeit the worry written on his face, beautiful, despite the fear flashing in his eyes. He found him prettier each day, even more now that he had missed him for days. He could tell the other was drained and tired, probably worn out from worrying about him so as soon as he put Jeonghan to his feet, he held tight onto Seokjin.

His arms tightened around him, cradling him close to sooth the little sniffles he could hear. He had missed him, missed him to death, and it ate at him to have left them pending that way for two days. It troubled him that they had worried about him like that, that they had suffered so much in his absence. He hated how helpless he had been the past few days too, even more when he felt Seokjin shudder in his arms, clearly emotional.

He buried his own face in Seokjin's neck, deeply inhaling the gentle and warm scent of his body that he had missed. "I am sorry I couldn't come any sooner, I missed you so much." He whispered in his ear, Seokjin only burying deeper into his body in search of his comfort, and his touch. He let him for a few more minutes, before pulling back to finally look at his eyes.

The clear elation on his face, mixed with the subtle disbelief that still lingered in his orbs made Namjoon break smile, pecking Seokjin's nose, the other finally giggling in what seemed to be happiness. "Don't ever scare me like that." He reprimanded, his voice sounding shaky than stern.

"I know love, I am sorry." Namjoon offered, cupping Seokjin's face before he brought the other into a drawn kiss on his pouted lips. He held him close, relishing in the warmth of his home, and the people he love most.

"Hello? I am here too you know?" Jeonghan complained beside them, half whining for attention. His parents pulled away from the kiss,  both laughing at the pout etched on their son's face. "How can I forget about you champ?" Namjoon jokingly roared, tickling the other who broke out into laughs, the scene, as usual, making Seokjin awe in his head.

The relationship between Jeonghan and Namjoon had only gotten stronger these previous months. They were the closest they had ever been, Namjoon still clearly learning how to be a father, but at the same time eager to compensate for all the lost time with Jeonghan. Seokjin felt like his husband was trying to redeem himself, somehow unconsciously seeking acceptance from Jeonghan, something that made his heart ache. He knew internally Namjoon wanted to be more than just a father to Jeonghan, he could tell his husband wanted to erase the part of his life that he'd been absent, be their son's best friend, something that made him feel horrible for having denied them the opportunity to before.

It was still an ongoing journey, one that got better each day, and improved with each step. Jeonghan clearly loved his father to the moon.
Namjoon had become his whole life this past year, his whole rock, perhaps more than Seokjin was nowadays. He relied on him for anything, and was growing into a fine young man with each day under Namjoon's care. It made him happy to see his family happy, to see them loved and cared for. He loved and cared for them, more than anything in this earth.

"You missed my game." Jeonghan stated seriously when the laughing died down, crossing his hands over his chest, suddenly looking bummed, but somehow managing to still be cute. "I know champ..." Namjoon replied, heaving in a breath as he ruffled the boys hair. He felt bad too for having missed it, especially with how hard Jeonghan and him had rehearsed for this. He had looked forward to watching him play, knowing well it would have made Jeonghan happy if he would have been there, but then work had occurred and he had been so helpless.

"....I got caught up at work, and I couldn't make it, I am sorry, baby." He kissed the others forehead, pulling back to smile apologetically at him. "Appa sent me the video, and you played so well, couldn't stop watching it on the way here." He beamed, Jeonghan excitedly jumping on his feet.

"Really?"

"Of course. You were great, which is why I got you something." Seokjin watched as Namjoon searched through his bags that were still by the door, before he pulled out a wrapped gift, handing it to Jeonghan whose eyes widened immediately as he took it, shaking in the slightest.

He gasped, looking at his father who looked back at him, smiling. Namjoon knew it would make him happy, and he laughed to himself as the kid jumped onto him to hug him. "Is it what I think it is?" Namjoon nodded to which Jeonghan continued to celebrate, temporarily hugging Seokjin before he ran away to his room, muttering 'thank yous' to his parents.

Seokjin scoffed as he heard the excited scream that came from the other room, turning to his husband who only shrugged, not feeling bad about spoiling their son. Jeonghan had wanted the toy, and it was the least he could have done after missing his game.

"You really do know how to put a smile on his face."

"Learned from the best." Namjoon replied, inching closer before bringing the other to his arms once more, hands clasped around his waist. Seokjin held onto his shoulders, smiling to the man before he wrapped his hands around his neck. "I missed you so much." He whispered, closing his eyes for a second as Namjoon rested his forehead on his. "Missed being in your arms." He shuddered, recalling how scared he had been.

Namjoon cradled him close, tilting his head up so his eyes could roam his husband's face. "I am here now baby, not going anywhere anymore." He spoke, the other nodding in acknowledgement, allowing Namjoon to bring his lips into another kiss. It was more heated than the last, more passionate and dreamy, tongue filled and love infested. No words needed to be said, all of it spoken in the way they held each other, the way they silently devoured each other lips, tongues clashing in a sweet war that threatened to release their controls.

They had missed each other, and Seokjin in particular wanted nothing more than for the other to hold him tight, to remind him with his body that he was around, that he was with him. He wanted the man to touch him like he hadn't in days, to make him feel the way he had been longing to for nights on end, and he whimpered, but knew better because the other was tired, he was jet lagged, and needed rest more than anything.

Smiling into the kiss, he pulled away, pecking the CEO'S lips who was already whining. "Why don't you go wash up while I make breakfast, so you can eat and rest after." He offered, a finality in his eyes that the other knew wouldn't change. He still groaned though, throwing his head back with huff. "I want nothing more than to hold you tight right now." He complained, perking his lips up for a kiss, and trying to act cute, something Seokjin found endearing, and difficult to resist. He knew what Namjoon wanted, and he did want to as well, but he wasn't going to tire the man out when he was already drained.

"I need you too..." He whispered seductively, not surprised when the other let off a needy groan, eyes trained on his lips. "...but you need to recharge, and I need to prepare for Solar's party." He said, realization instantly flicking across Namjoon's face. "Shit, I almost forgot about that."

"You don't have to go baby, you need to rest. I am sure Solar will understand." Seokjin intercepted, wanting his husband's health to come first.

"That's ok. I don't want to miss her party, she's counting on us. Plus, it's still a couple of hours out, so we still have time." In reality Namjoon didn't want to miss anything more than he had done the past few days. He had missed date night, and movie night, and he didn't want to miss anymore. Seokjin knew he couldn't stop him, and he lowkey wanted Namjoon to accompany him tonight, so he agreed nonetheless, eager to be around his husband anyway.

"Go on then. I'll make breakfast." He urged the other, pecking his lips before moving from his arms. "You sure you don't want to join me in the shower?" Namjoon tried once more as he picked his bags, winking at the other who only bit his lips.

"Tempting." Seokjin replied, his lust filled eyes fleeting over the CEO once before he turned on his heels, swaying his hips as he headed for the kitchen.

"Fuck." Namjoon groaned, feeling like he had just landed from the hot water to the fire. He stopped by the corner, intently gazing at the other's back in awe. He smiled to himself in gratitude, happy to have someone who cares so much about him with him. Seokjin looked happy, looked beautiful, and Namjoon couldn't think of anything more than he could have wanted than this.

A brief distance thought about something being different with Seokjin crossed his mind, bits of something he had somehow caught when he walked into the atmosphere of their home, but he couldn't exactly pin it, couldn't comprehend the full thought so it had quickly slipped his mind, and he had in turn dismissed it for nothing.

Oh! How he should have known.

It was originally too long of a chapter so I split it into half, (I apologise for the cliffhanger)