Namjoon.

A not so subtle reminder of possession lingers in his eyes as he looks at me. It's clear in his gesture - large hand resting visibly on the small of his back as they walk to us. Somehow I can't keep my eyes off them, of him to be specific. How is it even possible to be more beautiful. How does he look this ethereal after seven years, how is he real, yet so unbelievable at the same time.

Joy can't keep her excitement beside as she spots the couple, gushing over, and fangirling like she always does when she reads the tabloids and the recent news on them. Engaged, they all say the two are, in love, and amongst the top adored korean couple. It just fails to register for me every time, it's incomprehensible, difficult to take. How? How did this happen? Seven years down the line and I am still speechless, short of answers, and lost of direction.

I knew our paths would cross one way or another in this life, I had vowed to myself to meet him face to face in this life again, and in it I had always prepared a speech, a few words I would want to say at first sight. But seeing him this up close earlier in the conference room, I just blanked, my mind just emptied, and the world just came to a still.

I couldn't form words, I couldn't fathom that it was actually him. I had followed him out to the bathroom to make a start, to begin over and say the words I wanted to say, the ones I thought I could, but again, the sight of him, so close and so real had taken away my every word, every thought. It was just me and him, and every memory from before that was swirling around us at that moment.

Even now, I doubt I could say anything if given the chance. His presence is too surging, too overwhelming. Apparently, he has been to our company numerous times, always scheduled to meet with the executives, which includes me, but coincidentally, I have always been out on other businesses during these meetings. I've heard talk about KSJ partnering with our company, and I've seen the papers and been part of the project, but not once did I imagine the real face behind everything had set foot physically at our company. Despite knowing KSJ was owned by the two, I didn't think they had been to our company. To my knowledge, they would have sent someone, or rather people for that.

I missed at least three chances to meet him in person, not that that mattered, seeing as I had known he was in Korea for a while now and didn't do anything about it. Mostly because of the man that is beside him now, he is taken, he has been since we separated. My intentions to see Seokjin are more than just to talk to him, they ran deeper than that, but they are impossible because of who he is now, he has moved on, he is a new person, engaged, and every stupid fantasy or even slight thought that I might have brewed in my head, is completely useless.

I am not sure how long I stare at Seokjin, and I am not sure if he sees, or pretends not to like earlier, but I am interrupted by our own CEO speaking, and of course the eyes that are fixated on me from beside Seokjin. I get the sense that Mr Jeon knows me, and he is aware of my past with his fiance now, and I don't think he likes it very much, or the dynamics of everything surrounding this.

We work together now, closer than I could have ever thought I would be to him ever, and I don't think that fact is greatly appreciated. From the looks of it, the two probably didn't know I was in this project, or worked with BigHit at all. I am not surprised that is so, I try to keep a low personal profile, more prominent with the name of RM. As far as anyone knows, I am probably just some producer, and music enthusiast, which is true...

"Thank you for having us today, we had a good time and we are sure the boys are in safe hands." Yoongi speaks beside his father, bowing to the two before us. "Pleasure is all ours, we appreciate you guys stopping by, and we are so excited to work with the boys." Seokjin says with a smile, beautiful, yet different at the same time. Mr Jeon nods beside him, bringing Seokjin closer with an arm around his waist.

"Your welcome into our premises anytime, we can't wait to get this bus on the road already." He speaks, tone kindle and friendly. Oddly, I see what Seokjin might like in him. He is polite, kind and good mannered. He smart, runs numerous million dollar companies, and from what I hear, a people's person too. Yet I can't begin to fathom that he is the same Jeon from before, the same man Seokjin talked about being arranged to get engaged to back then. I am troubled about how that went, about how somehow everything went into a circle, and he is back where he didn't want to before. 

The question about if it was his decision, or if he is happy with it, is not mine to ask, I am not in any position to inquire about his private life, despite the clear itch to do so. I want to know what happened to him, what happened to us.

I drown out most of the small talk, standing back and letting Yoongi and Joy do the final regards while I stay in my head with memories, questions, dreams, visuals, and oh! this clear picture before me. By the time it's done I've had a few light glares from Jeon, and Yoongi has to tap my arm to pull me out of my thoughts, signal that it's time to leave.

I can't help myself as I glance once more at Jin, meeting his eyes temporarily, which he turns hurriedly the next second to his fiance, smiling at the man who leans a little to peck his lips. I have no business prying into their personal lives, so I turn to my heel with the rest, walking out of the floor, and into an elevator with everyone else.

I can feel Yoongi's eyes on me, questioning subtly amongst the group. I've been unusually quiet during the whole experience, my thoughts occupied by the things they shouldn't be occupied with. Normally I'd be asking questions, engaging and participating like I am supposed to, but I haven't had the opportunity to, not with my head full like this.  Yoongi has asked a few times if I am good, which I nodded in reassurance each time. He knows me well, and he could tell whenever I am lying, or in this case, hiding.

We have come so far, far back from seven years ago when I was in ruins, when I was lost and senseless. He saved me from myself when I was barely holding on, when the only thing I had going for me was my music. He took me in, friended me and gave refuge, a chance to move on and start a fresh. He gave me something to look forward to, reminded me of the love of music that still had despite the love that I had lost. He was there, he was my best friend, still is.

"Ok, what's going on?" Yoongi asks as we get into the backseat of our shared car, not giving me a chance to collect any lies as he stares at me. "What are you talking about?" I try anyway, buying myself time as I get comfortable. It's not that I don't want to tell him, I am just not sure it's anything to say, especially now after all these years. It shouldn't be anything worth mentioning.

"Don't do that. I saw how out of it you were earlier. What's going on?" He questions again as he pull out, the other cars already out on the street. "I am just tired, haven't been getting enough rest lately. " It's a good excuse, works of everything really, seeing as we are always as busy and loaded with the growing success of the group and the company. But Yoongi knows me well, he knows when I am lying, and when I have things going...

"Ok, let's try this differently. What's up with you and Kim Seokjin..." He gauges my reaction closely, and even though I wish not to react, the mention of his name alone is enough to make me look away. Caught. I sigh out knowing well Yoongi won't relent.

"I saw those looks Kim, what was that?"

"He is my ex." I say finally, and he looks at me a second, blinking back confusedly. "Ex what, friend?" He questions, and I breath out at him avoiding the obvious statement.

"He is my ex boyfriend?" I clarify, to which he pauses narrowing his feline eyes, tilting his head. "Really, how is that, he is like a strong ten, and your like..." I glare at him, daring him with his next words. But this is Yoongi, and he doesn't give a fuck. "...Like a seven. ish." He adds the last part, glancing at my face, and waving his hand at my features lightly. I roll my eyes, too occupied to be taking offence at his rude observations. On any other day I believe I'd make a strong nine on his visual rating scale, but I think I am seven right now, I feel like it.

"No, but really. He is very good looking, sexy, and charming too -"

"Yeah well he is my ex." I snap at him, not liking the look on his face as he speaks. I've got no right to get defensive whatsoever, Seokjin isn't with me anymore, and talks about how he looks should not affect me in anyway, so immediately I regret my decision, calming down from the emotions swirling in my mind when Yoongi raises a brow.

"He is the ex." I say once more, a bit quietly this time. Realization flicks on his eyes as he leans back, a knowing sigh escaping his lips as I look away.

"Oh!"

"Yeah." I reply, an equal unbelieving sigh escaping my lips.

Yoongi knows about Seokjin, or rather, like he dubs it - the only love I ever had. He might not be aware of the names, and the little details involved, but I've shared with him the story, I've opened up to him about a lot, so he knows that this isn't just some ex, this isn't just some guy I dated. This is him, this the man that made and broke me.

Seven years ago when I broke up with Seokjin, I was a goner, I was living but I was lost. I was only breathing for the sake of continuing my life, something that was painful at the thought of him not being around to continue it with me. I lived for Taehyung and my family, put on a happy face despite me crumbling on the inside. I was burning, my insides eating away with each day and each thought of him. Yoongi had shown around in Gwanju at the same time, looking for a composer, one he had heard of his work online. He was a producer himself, trained and skilled in the art of music. I wasn't looking for anything at the time, especially about music, it being something I always prided myself on, something that I always gave my all, but couldn't do anymore.

Yoongi had come at bad time, looking for me to do a project with, and I had turned him away, not interested, despite the promising career doors he was willing to open for me. But he had begged, he was convinced he wanted me on his team, and somehow he had managed to get me onboard. A close friendship had ensued. We shared a lot in terms of music, and it turned into something nice, open and brotherly like. He knew all about my struggles, and I knew his in turn.

Yoongi helped me out of my shell, he brought back life in me, music wise. He guided my success, brought out the best in me. With the help of his father, we built our own company, we struggled through a lot, and now we had put together the best of talented boys across the world. We co -owned the biggest of music company in Korea. All thanks to Yoongi.

"No wonder he had that look too." He comments in the silence. I am tempted to ask what it was, other than realization that I saw, I am tempted to ask what else Seokjin might have showed, disgust maybe, hate? It's not my place to ask, or know, so I don't ask.

"How do you feel?" This untimely reunion sort of thing was bound to bring back some emotions. I don't know what exactly he is asking about, but regardless I can't possibly tell him, I don't know what I feel, I don't know what I was expecting after all this years, what I thought would happen, but one thing is for sure, I feel a familiar numb crawling up my senses, especially with the confirmation of Seokjin having moved on in life. I am hurting again, afresh.

"It was a long time, it shouldn't make any problems." I am not sure who I am trying to lie to, but I guess saying it loud should make the difference. "You know this deal is huge, not just for the boys, but for the company too. They are brand ambassadors for KSJ now, and that is going to need a lot of personal devotion, you could sit this one out if it's too much."

Like always I know Yoongi would do anything to make the work environment suitable. I know he would like it if the work relationship we have with Seokjin remains as it is, and wouldn't hesitate to cancel this partnership if things become extreme, but like I said, it was a long time ago, this shouldn't matter, it shouldn't affect anything.

Yoongi doesn't look too convinced, hell, I am not convinced with what I am saying, but it is what it is. We sit in a comfortable silence for while, before I am reminded that everything isn't as complicated as today has been, something good came out today, unexpected almost.

"Did you know Taehyung was on this project?" I ask, still looking out the window. I smile as Yoongi clicks his tongue, shaking his head with a smirk. "No I didn't. I knew he worked for KSJ, I just didn't think he was a high ranking designer, working with the owner and all." I smile along, proud of my brother. I was surprised too to see him up there with the others, older and experienced designers.

He is always working hard, and I knew he would reach his ultimate goal. His persistence has always reminded me of Seokjin. His resilience, and toughness - despite everything that he has gone through- reminding me of the man he works for now. I doubt that Seokjin knows he is my brother, I doubt he even thinks we are related, not that that matters anyway.

When Taehyung came home and announced that he had been accepted at that company, I didn't pay much attention to it. He would probably be  another employee at KSJ, but somehow he had ran to the top during this short time duration, he had been close to Seokjin all this time, a man he had indirect ties to and didn't even know.

Somehow fate has a way playing games. The universe, a way of lining its stars to bring us together. Somehow we have all ended up at the same place after all this while. I am not sure what cards the universe has drawn to play on our lives, but we are about to find out. 

Finally, some Namjoon.😁

Please share what you think.

Also, I am drafting a new book, and soon, I think I am gonna drop the first chapter 😊. Can't wait for you guys to see it.