Taehyung.

I can't believe Jimin agreed to come to lunch with us, I can't believe this is actually happening. The boy I like agreed to go out with me. I mean not exactly on a date, and I haven't told him I like him either (although I get the feeling that he already knows) but it's pretty close. I didn't think Yoongi hyung would agree either, seeing as he is extremely conservative of our private lives, and barely allows anyone other than his father, Namjoon hyung, Joy and me around him. But then again he couldn't say no to my puppy eyes, always been week whenever I beg for anything. Not to brag, but sort of the only person that would ever get him to do anything for him.

Speaking of Yoongi, he keeps glancing at Jimin, his feline like eyes narrowed even further, posture upright and stiff. I can't tell if he is uncomfortable, or maybe cautious? I feel bad for having dragged him into this, but I really wanted to do something with Jimin, I've wanted to for a long time, and I wasn't going to let this chance pass.

He is just...he is beautiful, so free and spirited. He is just one of those people who dare to be themselves in an industry where people care so much about elegance, reputation, and general outlook. Not that he lacks these things even in the slightest, no, he is different, unmethodical, but reliable, and smart at the same time. I adored that trait about him when I first met him, and soon I found myself smitten, falling for him. I am possibly in love with him, stupid, if you consider that he doesn't even know I like him to begin with, but oh well...

Jimin doesn't seem to mind much that Yoongi is here, he does glance at the other every few minutes, but nonetheless he is more concentrated on his food and the little conversations we have going. We talk mostly about the office, and our work for this project, not wanting to make him uncomfortable with questions about himself, or myself. Yoongi chips in a few times, with awkward smiles, and forced laughs. He just seems extra rigid today, and I make it a point to ask him about it later, when we get home.

My phone buzzes on the table, and I smile apologetically at Jimin who brushes it off, urging me to take it. It's a reply text from Namjoon hyung, stating that he is done, and would like to meet for lunch if I am still available. I quickly send him location, smiling to myself as I let go of my phone. "I hope you don't mind that my brother is joining us, he just texted, and I sent him a location." I say, feeling like I should have asked first before actually giving Namjoon the go ahead.

"Mr Kim?" Jimin asks, eyes slightly wide, and I nod, ignoring the sigh of relief that sounds beside me from Yoongi. "Yeah, is that ok?"
"Yeah, sure, it's no problem, a little nervous though." He reveals, the tips of his ears flashing. Cute.
"Don't be, he is nice." I assure.

Namjoon hyung is nice, he is the softest, most kind soul I have ever seen. I am not just saying that because he is my brother, but yeah, he has done every single thing in this life for me, he has been to hell and back for my life. Gave parts of himself, or maybe all of himself, just for me. I owe him my being, literally, and it's the least of the things I could ever give him to trade for what he has done for me.

I jump right into his arms the moment I see him, not bothered by the questioning looks, or the straying eyes of the people in the restaurant. He embraces me close, wrapping his arms around me like he hasn't seen me in a while. "Missed you kiddo..." He mumbles playfully on my neck, and I pull back to slap him upside the head, gritting my teeth to look menacing. He smiles, the audacity. "I am not a kid anymore." I whine, a pout already forming.

"Yet you still want a bear hug." He chuckles, ruffling my hair. He is right, I just couldn't help it, "I missed you too." I admit. When it comes to him, it's just different, everything about his existence just brings out the kid in me, the brother nature we've always had since childhood, and I wouldn't hesitate to show him affection, public or not, crush present or not.

Jimin seems a little struck as I turn to them, eyes dancing between me and Namjoon, before they settle on my brother, lips stretching into a sweet smile, the biggest I have seen all day. "Hey, man." Yoongi speaks for the first time since we got here, scooting over in the boot to make space for Namjoon.

Namjoon greets him back, bowing back to Jimin when the smaller stands for a greeting himself. "Park Jimin, right?" He asks, and the assistant nods, smiling when Namjoon motions him to sit back on his chair. "Mr Kim, nice to meet you again."
"Please, call me Namjoon, and it's nice to meet you again as well." He says as he takes a seat himself.

We spend another hour on lunch, eating and conversing to light subjects. Namjoon is more open, and doesn't hesitate talking to Jimin. But even then, I still feel like something is nagging at him, I have felt so for the past two days, seen him fidgety, and lost in thought, like he is here but his mind is somewhere else.

But then again that has been Namjoon for the past six or seven years. Ever since he came home that one time before my surgery, he has been different person, he has been gone, and just not himself. With time it faded, and, or got concealed but now I feel like it's back, something is occupying his mind once more, and I don't think I like it.

I don't think I am ready to see him broken once more, to see him drained and soulless. He has only been regaining himself these few past years, and I don't want him to reel back to the older him once more. We've only gotten him back.

Seven years go he sold a part of himself, he traded something in exchange for my well being. He wouldn't say it, and he wouldn't say what he traded either, but I know he gave something up, just so I could live. Whatever it was, it took his soul, it took his heart, and the life out of him. Whatever it was took him from us. He might be successful now, he might be living his dream, but I know deep down something of his is missing, something that even I can't pervade.

At times I think saving me wasn't worth it, sometimes I feel like it would have been better to just let me go, to die. I know he would be devastated, but with time he would heal, it would fade away and he would move on. This thing he goes through hasn't allowed him closure, or a chance to heal, he hasn't been able to move on, or be him, and that's possibly the worst kind of suffering their is. The unknowing, the lack of answers.

I would hate to see him troubled once more despite the little steps he has been making. I would hate to see him anxious once more, because god knows it would still be my fault.

"Do you want me to pick you up later?" Namjoon questions as we step out of the restaurant, Yoongi by his side. "No, that's alright, I'll take cab." I decline, pocketing my hands with a smile. He doesn't seem too amused, and Yoongi doesn't either. "How about get a car, or better yet just take the ones at home if you can't get one." Yoongi says.

I know they both don't like me standing out at eleven in the night, waiting for a ride, but in my defense I haven't gotten the hang of driving yet, it gives me anxiety, and I don't like the idea of them providing me with a car either - they have given me everything. I sigh..."I'll ask Jimin for ride if it makes you feel better." I offer instead, the afro mentioned, on the other side of the street on a phone call.

"You like him, huh?" Namjoon teases, poking my side. I can't help my ears from blazing up, or the whine that claws up my throat, an impossible smile taking my lips. "He is just my friend." I try anyway, shaking my head when he scoffs.

"Yeah well, you'll tell me about this friend later, and why you hid from me that you were such a big deal at KSJ." He says, getting serious at the last part. I know I didn't tell them that I was working with KSJ directly on a project, but it's because I wanted to surprise them, especially when I found out we were working with their company. It's a huge deal for me too, I am working with Kim Seokjin himself, the very embodiment of a designer - in my opinion. My idol, and the man I have admired his work for the longest time. But still, I don't think myself, as a huge deal. Sure, it's a lifetime opportunity, and maybe after this I'll be on my way to be someone great thanks to Seokjin, but that's still a long way to go.

"I didn't want to jinx it, but sure we'll talk about that at home." I offer, to which he agrees with a nod. We all basically live in one home. The one Namjoon and Yoongi got together to purchase a few years back. It's nice, huge and very luxurious, and the moment I left Gwanju to adventure in Seoul, they gave me a space, Yoongi stating that it would better if I stayed somewhere stable until I grounded myself, and Namjoon just being protective, and not wanting me to be away from him. I haven't left since, I don't think they would allow me to.

With the nature of both our jobs, we rarely get to see each other on some days, too busy till evening, and in a rush during the mornings to get any conversation in, which is why I seek him when I am free, to spend some time with him, and share with him my progress in life and vice versa.

"Bye." I wave Namjoon off once I am on the other side of the street, smiling at him as he waves Jimin and I back. The shorter beside me mumbles something under his breath, as he eyes my two brothers, not able to tell which one in particular.

He turns to me, his brown orbs searching through my face tentatively, making me flustered. His bottom lip goes between his teeth seductively, beautiful eyes holding my gaze. He has always been hot, sexy, and I can't help my eyes from roaming his face too, cheeks blazing when I catch sight of his now wet plump lips on display. I have a strong urge to ran a thumb through them, to taste them. I haven't had the best luck with this relationship thing, always getting played, being friend zoned or called the adorable little brother or substitute.

I guess it's because I have always gone for a specific type, the douche kind that still sees me as a kid. I feel like Jimin is different, and I so badly want to find out. He might be sexy, and way out of my league, but he is the one I want, he is the one I dream of. I haven't felt this strongly about anyone before, I haven't wanted to have someone underneath me this badly. Sex has always been foreign to me, but with him I just can't help myself, I can't stop thinking about these dirty things with him, things with him underneath me.

It's surprising because I've always been underneath, I've always been a taker, or a receiver - depends on how you perceive it really, but I guess with Jimin I can't stop myself from wanting to have him, the more reason he is the person for me. I can't keep it in anymore, I think I need to tell him, hopefully he feels the same, if the wink he throws at me while he gets into the car is anything to go by.