Jungkook.

"Are you ok?"

I ask for the nth time this evening, and like before he nods in agreement, the emotions present on his face barely matching his actions. He looks hurt, lost and absent. He's been for the past half hour, just staring into nothingness on the drive home, gone. I don't know if it's better than earlier when he was hysterical, in a panic and painfully sobbing. I don't know if this numbness is better than him being inconsolable like earlier, but one thing is for sure; there is a significant change in him.

We haven't talked since the incident earlier, I am itching to, to find out what it is that was happening there, what they said and what they did, but he hasn't allowed me, he hasn't shown any signs of complete composure that would enable this conversation.

But at the same time I can't hold on any longer. He was stuck in an elevator for almost two hours with Namjoon, and came out crying, the other looking confused, but oddly relieved, a bit worried, but tense in the same. The absence of knowledge of what happened in there is killing me, I can't believe I let this happen, let Namjoon come that close to him, and stay.

"Why was Kim, in your personal elevator?" I ask, still not able to grasp fully, the reason why that had happened to begin with. He had gotten it built-in because of the privacy he so needed, yet here he was with Namjoon, what really was he doing with him in that private space?

He takes in an audible breath, carding a hand through his hair as he sits on the edge of the bed. His eyes are swollen red, cheeks puffy and skin red. Taking off his shoes, he glances at me, only for a split second before looking away.

"He had something to talk to me about, so I invited him to my office." That seems fair, his calm tone something to go by. "What did he want to talk about." I can't help the curiosity in my tone, the rough edging, making me sound inquisitive. The reaction is different for him, and he looks slightly irritated by my nature, taking in a deep breath before sinking further in his sitting position.

"He wanted to talk about me and him, so we could clear the tension he felt I held around him." He has never lied to me, never been one to lie, but looking at him now, I am not sure he is telling the truth either. Well, clearly Namjoon couldn't have sought him to talk business, that's my job, and he couldn't have been seeking a designer's services either, that would be desperate. I am sure Namjoon approached him to talk about the past, (the audacity, really) but only to clear the tension? He wanted more than that, and Seokjin knows I know so.

"So why were you crying?"

"I don't know, Jungkook, I was hundreds of feet up in the air in a suspended metal carriage, I think it's was ok for me to be worried about my possible demise." He snaps suddenly, shouting at me in response, clearly fed up with the questions.

He catches himself just seconds after, and he closes his eyes, running a tired hand through his hair once more. "I am sorry, I am really sorry, I am just so tired." I am not offended by the outburst, I'd seen it coming, but I do want answers as to what happened in that elevator, and he can't deny me that, I am his fiance, I have a right to know.

"I was so scared, frightened of what would have happened, and being in there with Namjoon didn't help." I push off the wall I had been leaning on, intrigued, by that information. My head swirls with every possible occurrence that might have taken place in there, my body finding itself beside him on the bed.

I hook a thumb under his chin, raising his face to mine. "Did he hurt you?" I barely catch the growl that threatens to escape my throat, but he only narrows his eyes, incredulously almost, before moving his face away. "No, he would never." He answers surely.

I know Kim would never hurt him, not the way that I was asking about at least, but it doesn't mean I can rule anything out. Seokjin still came out of there, a mess, and I still don't have answers.

"He just wanted to talk, about the past, and I had idea it would be that heavy, taxing and just, emotionally draining." He clarifies, spacing out for a second, like he's thinking about it once more, and although he is honest, it still irks at me that he's like that, that drained over just talking to Namjoon, something that shouldn't even affect him in the slightest.

"Did you talk to him, did he force you?" I need to know if they at all spoke about it. What they said, and what they shared. I need to know what Kim told him. He is quiet for a while, but he finally takes in a breath, his gaze meeting mine. I don't know if  it's all in my head, but I swear his eyes harden just a little, narrowing in the slightest, almost quizzically. "He didn't force me to anything, but we talked. We talked about everything." There is a tint in his tone, not particularly anger, but more of, doubt? I am not sure that is directed to me, or if it's there to even begin with, but something is there...

They talked about everything?

What does everything mean. What did Kim tell him. I don't know if I hesitate in questioning, or if he doesn't allow me anytime to do so, because he gets up, and heads to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

I still haven't gotten my answers as to why he was even crying in the first place, and I don't think I will anytime soon. You know, it still baffles me how after seven years, seven good years, and it's still that easy for Namjoon to get through him. I don't understand what kind of force that is, that allows Kim to get to do that to him. Seven years I have loved him, more than that really, cared for him, provided for him, and protected him and Jeonghan, yet for seven years I still feel like he hasn't given me the one thing I want.

He says he loves me but the evidence of that being untrue is present in how he behaves, or reacts to Namjoon, and only Namjoon. That man hurt him, he deeply broke his heart, and if I could go back to that one time I had told him to stay away from Seokjin, I would.

Maybe I did feel bad after finding out he actually didn't leave because he was offered money - but for his brother's sickness, but truth be told, he still wasn't good for Seokjin, another thing would have arisen, especially with Seokjin's mother being at large, and Seokjin would have been the one to get hurt once more.

After I told Namjoon to stay away from Seokjin through that call, I had dug deeper into everything, and it all came to light, miss Soojin's schemes and lies. I wanted to tell Seokjin, but he had looked so broken, he didn't want anything more to do with it, or at least I felt like he didn't and it honestly worked in my favour.

We packed up and came to America, but one thing after another started to unravel, and despite us dating and getting together, despite my efforts to get him to love me, he was mentally adamant to stay in the past. There was just something keeping him glued there, and although I knew well what reminded him of Namjoon and the past, I always thought we could work through everything. I thought we did when he agreed to finally marry me...

But Namjoon comes into the picture once more, and it all just shatters away, it's like everything we have made this far is crumbling. He is reeling at his sight, just tuning back to the person I have kept him from being.

But then again I feel like it's my fault, maybe, just maybe if I had told him back then that Namjoon hadn't plainly abandoned him, it would have caused a difference. Perhaps he would have agreed to let it go, to heal, and perhaps he would have loved me like I want. Maybe truth would have paid, maybe it would have set him free from the past, but I chose to keep it from him, so it would keep him from Namjoon in turn and I expected him to love me the same. I obviously underestimated the power of his trauma..

But then again I've come this far and I can't undo it, I've lived with him, loved him this long and he ought to at least love me back, yet, all these years and at times I feel like I don't have a place in his heart. I feel like he still harbours so much wounds, so many things at heart at there is no space to love me.

It's probably another hour before he walks out of the bathroom, looking refreshed, but still gravely tired. His eyes look more red, like he's been crying some more, and he barely looks at me at he fixes his pajamas that he already has on, picking up his fluffy pink slippers. "I am going to check on Jeonghan." He lets out before disappearing out the room without another word, from me or him.

It infuriates to think that with only a few things, Namjoon has managed to get under his skin. What did he tell him in that elevator, what exactly did they speak about that has made him like this? Did they talk about Jeonghan, why does he suddenly need to check on him, why won't he give me answers?

It's just anger for me, and to think about everything that might have transpired in those two hours that he won't talk about. Did Namjoon touch him? Did he kiss him....
I can't stand it, and my hands shake at the graven thoughts and images, I can't take it.

Unable to hold it anymore, I bolt out of our room, the door shutting loudly behind me. I know Jin well, and I know he won't say anything if he doesn't want to, he is just like that, grounded, and well opinionated, and wouldn't allow anything, even from me, if he doesn't want to.

But I can't stand the questions I have, not tonight, and not with this anger. I can't stay beside him, knowing well I am on the verge of a breakdown, while he won't do anything to stop it.

I find my car keys, and I drive to the only place I know I can cool down, or rather the only person I know can cool me down. Normally, I would debate if I truly want to do this, and I'd stay in my car, whirling in indecisive thoughts, before I come to a conclusion, but tonight, I am far too gone to wait, I am trembling and the only thing on my mind is to do away with this anger.

I knock impatiently about three times, before the door swings open, the face of the only person I can bare to see right now coming to sight. He looks confused, and his face gradually falls as he meets my gaze, his feet taking a step from the door, an invitation? Perhaps not.

I take it anyway.

"Jungkook. What are you doing here?" He questions with resolve, but appear timid at the same time. He knows well why I am here, and he knows well he needs to stop me, but unlike other days when he would be able to talk sense into me, he can't today, wouldn't be able to with the emotions that are rocking through me.

"Kookie, you can't -" I step into the house, closing the door behind me before shushing him up with a searing kiss. My lips mold onto his harshly, hands coming around him to hold him onto me. I don't think as I take, don't look back as I merge every inch of him to me, lusting and loving what isn't mine, what shouldn't be mine.

He struggles in my hold for a second, rooting his hands on my shoulder to push me away, but eventually, like me, he crumbles under the need, and his hands come around my neck, body finally relaxing in my hold as he kisses me back. We can't, we shouldn't, but I can't help it, I can't help the rage that is coursing through me, and the need for relief for it.

Oh, the irony, and the hypocrisy that this situation holds, doing the exact same thing that I claim to anger me. I am being with another yet I've accused my better half of doing the same, of mentally being with another. At least he knows where to draw the line. Unlike me, he is a person of his word, he made me a promise and he has kept it.

"You can't be here, Kookie." He says breathlessly when we pull apart, he is tense and frankly on the verge of tears. I know I shouldn't be here, I'll only hurt him too, my presence will only cause more bad than it will good. But I can't go out there like this, I need him to hold me, to love me, and keep me safe. I need him to keep me sane, to remind me that he's here.

"You have to go Kookie you can't be here." He states with resolve, but doesn't make any effort to move from my arms.

"I know, I know but I need you." I whisper back, looking into his uncertain eyes, the same ones that are wavering by the second, under my intense gaze and the intense atmosphere.

"Please, Hoseok."