Hoseok.

He can't be in here, he shouldn't, it's wrong. It was wrong the first time, and the numerous times after that. We agreed, we already came to a consensus, and he can't be in here.
"You promised. You promised me we'd stop, what are you doing in here Kook?" Finally pushing off his arms, I stalk to the other side of the room, running a stressful hand through my hair, and avoiding his eyes, his needy but timid eyes.

He can't need me, he can't want me, we are past that, he's getting married.

"You need to go back home. You shouldn't have come."

"I know, Hobi. I just wanted a breather, a place to cool my head." I want to scream at him that it isn't here, that he can't cool off his head here, but he is visibly upset, shaking a bit and looking like a lost puppy. They probably had a falling off again with Seokjin, and I have a pretty good idea why.

I knew he would fall angry the moment Namjoon walked out of that elevator with Seokjin, I knew he'd lose himself in that rage of his, and he'd end up a mess, but I didn't think he'd show up at my door like that, nonchalantly, like it was normal for him, us. He can't do that, especially now that he is getting married.

"I just want to stay for a while before I go back, just to get myself together." I am too caught up in thoughts, and I fail to see him advance closer, or perhaps I do, but I don't have the heart to stop him. "Don't send me away, please. You know I can't go anywhere else other than here." Oh, he can't guilt trip me like that, he can't say that, knowing well I wouldn't be able to resist him.

I should keep the distance, make him a room, or tell him to get comfortable on the couch, but I find myself rooted on, now in his arms. He holds me close as he pulls me to him once more, and I can't resist his embrace, his touch and how delicate and rigid he is at the same time.

He presses my forehead to his, and I close my eyes, inhaling his scent. "We can't anymore, Kookie." I whisper and he nods, but his actions speak differently as he tilts my head up and capture my lips and almost like I hadn't had resolve to even begin with, my lips mold onto his just as needy, and just as wrong.

I know it's wrong, I know this is the worst thing I could ever do to a friend, but I can't help myself, I can't ever resist Jungkook, he's my biggest flaw, my biggest mistake, yet my biggest desire. He's everything I want. My best friend's fiance.
Oh, how did I get here you ask?
Through lust, through desire, and most importantly, through love.

I am dignified person, I am principled and I care about the people close to me. I value them with my life, especially my best friend, but this, this Jungkook... he's defied every line that I have, he's made me cross boundaries that I didn't even think were possible to cross, and although I feel like the worst person ever for doing this Seokjin, I feel alive too, I feel things that I've never felt before, things I shouldn't, and absolutely shouldn't feel for my boss, and best friend's fiance.

He heaves me into his arms and my legs wrap around his waist naturally, body pressing into his as he leads me to my room, one he's too familiar with.

If someone told me that seven year later I would be doing this with Jungkook, I would not believe it, but oddly, I wouldn't deny it either.

The first time I saw Jungkook in person, was the day after he had picked a heartbroken Seokjin from Gwanju, he had spent the night at Jin's apartment, and Solar and I had gone to check on the latter, only to be met with Jungkook at the doorstep. I remember clearly how shirtless he had been, sculpted and built. He had had this innocent face, yet a sexy look in it. I remember clearly how my heart had threatened to break from me. It was the first time I'd ever seen and felt something as such.

He was kind and good to me, and often, everything he did made me question how I looked at him. I had to remind myself that he wasn't mine, he belonged to Seokjin, and nobody else, and gradually I had tried to keep a distance, tried to stay away, and will away the little crush I was having, until they left for the states.

But two years ago, he had called me out of the blue, and had surprisingly asked me if I was willing to show him around Seoul once more. My communication with Seokjin had died over time, so I was taken back to see Jungkook around by himself, asking if I could show him around.
After a bit of direction, he had found himself at my dance studio, and we had quickly fallen back to our old selves. Free and humorous.

He had been looking for an apartment, and a strategic place to relocate his company, which wasn't new, but odd, seeing as he had people who could canvas the area for him, and give professional advice for that matter. I got the feeling that he just wanted a break, something to take his mind of work, or more personal issues.

I couldn't hold it for long, and eventually I had asked about him and Seokjin. He wasn't shy, and hadn't dodged the topic, quite the contrary he had opened up to me about them, their achievements and their struggles in the same. They had been fighting, and in his words, he felt like Jin wasn't giving his all for their relationship. He was still holding onto the past for some reason, and that had been weighing heavily on Jungkook.

I knew Seokjin was still possibly in love with Namjoon, and although Jungkook could sense that, he still harboured strong feelings for Seokjin. He felt like he was loosing himself, but he still loved Seokjin nonetheless, which is why he had traveled to Seoul alone, to seek for an answer. To continue to be patient, or finally let go, and move on.

I had understood back then that he needed space, a breather, and I had found myself welcoming, giving out my time and trying to make him comfortable. For three weeks we spent a lot of time together, eating, drinking, watching, sight seeing around the city, dancing at my studio, shopping, karaoke and handling business together. It did feel different without Seokjin, and I question myself if it was appropriate to do all those things with Jungkook, without Seokjin's knowledge, but in the end I somehow couldn't resist, or turn Jungkook away, I just couldn't.

Just two days before his trip ended we had been at bar, and he had drunkenly confessed to me, that although it hurt him to leave Seokjin, it was time to let go if the other was never going to love him like he wanted. I remember how a few tears had left him, and drunkenly I had found myself holding him, and wiping off his tears. He had looked so vulnerable, a look I didn't know I would be so familiar with the coming days.

That night I had invited him back to my apartment, and in our drunken giggly mess we had put on a movie, we had watched it for a while, but somehow, I don't exactly remember how, because I was drunk, but somehow one of us, or perhaps the both us had leaned in, and we had kissed.

I remember it being quiet, just me and him and the remarkable taste of his lips on mine. It had been brief, too brief for my liking, but a reminder enough of how far we had gone. He had sobered up immediately, and had stood to his feet, stating that he should leave for his hotel room. I realized then, that I hadn't been completely over my amateur feelings for him, or maybe I had been, but in those three weeks I had spent with him, it had brought back new ones, with vigour and ferocity, that it scared me.

He might have been on his way to break up with Seokjin, but that didn't mean he was a free man yet, and even when he would be, what look would that be. I would be chasing after my best friend's ex. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I should leave." He had blabbered on, and I had only agreed with a nod.

I think it was me, I had let my past feelings take over, and I might have kissed him. I let my desires for him talk, and at that moment when I had stood to show him out, but tripped on my still drunken legs, and ended up in his hold, I had let everything free.

I remember looking into his handsome face, and drunkenly thinking he had come back to me for a reason, I remember thinking maybe, just maybe, me and him were meant for something. From there on I remember it clearly, the kisses from his lips, the touches from his hands, and the searing heat of his naked body against mine.

He made love to me that night. Not once, not twice, but several times, enough times for us to sober up, enough for us to recognize it was wrong. But even then we didn't stop, all that mattered to me, perhaps to him as well was that we were together, we felt, we loved, I loved...

He held me tight for the remainder of the night, despite the plaguing thoughts of Seokjin, and what we had done to him, he clung onto me, and me onto him, until we found comfort in each other, enough to sleep through our thoughts.

The next morning, although limping, I had woken early and made breakfast. I hated to admit it, but it was one of the happiest mornings of my life. I had woken up with Jungkook, in his arms, and that had felt like the world to me. But that world had come crushing down quickly when he had received a call from Seokjin that very same morning.

I had found him sitting up on the bed, his hand in his hair as the other held onto the phone to his ear. Seokjin had been on the other side, the first time since Jungkook came to Seoul. He had been crying, and he wanted to talk, to reconcile, and compromise with Jungkook if he agreed to go back to the states.

Jungkook hadn't lied to me, or hid what he was thinking. He did acknowledge what had happened between us and stated that he didn't regret it either, but he felt like he had to go, to actually find out the way forward. He still had a family, and although they were in a bad place, they could still amend things.

He had apologized for the inconvenience, and despite my disappointment, I had had to put on a happy face and let him go. It went without saying that whatever happened between us that night, and those three weeks, was our grave secret. We had rushed into something, and although him and Seokjin were having problems, they weren't separated, and we shouldn't have done what we did.

Days into him leaving, the magnitude of everything that had happened, started to settle, I had spent so much time with Jungkook, he had grown on me, and I had indeed caught feelings, not to mention, the things that we had done. I craved him, thought about him, longed for him, but he had gone, he had reconciled with Seokjin, seeing as there wasn't any communication from him, and he wasn't coming back.

Not for another six months, and when he did he had a full family with him, he had Jeonghan and Seokjin. I didn't want to be involved, or stay close to my friend who I had betrayed, or his fiance, who I had slept with, but Seokjin had begged, mentioning it would be grounds to repair our friendship.

Oddly, Jungkook hadn't been shocked to find out I was working for him now, he didn't seem so bothered by the history. Unlike me, who had trouble even being around him. I feared Seokjin would know, or it would be readable whenever I was around Jungkook.

They seemed happy despite my hesitancy, they had reconciled, and the move from the states was working for them, but slowly it all started to unravel, and when they weren't fighting anymore, not according to Seokjin at least, Jungkook was visibly taking another mindset, and slowly he had started acting different, around me per say. It was familiar, the look that was in his eyes, he was restrained, but only for so long.

My own feelings for him were growing, something I realised was wrong and should not been happening. I shouldn't have taken the job, not that closely to Jungkook. It only took one touch from him, just one touch while we were out at a conference in Singapore, in the absence of Seokjin - for everything to rush back. He had come into my room, and all of it had just been natural from there.

I had wanted him for so long, his kisses, his hands and his lips, but as soon as it ended I had realized just how improper it had been. The betrayal I was giving Seokjin, and the sabotage that I was setting myself up for. I had then forbade Jungkook from seeing me, from touching me, or trying anything. He had agreed, but had quickly broken that promise only weeks later when he had shown at my doorstep.

He was going on another level, and given my growing need and obsession for him I had let him. This time round he had opened to me about what he was doing, or what he didn't know he was doing for that matter, he was just a confused soul, or at least I thought he was and although he had reconciled with Seokjin, he didn't know if he wanted to be with him anymore.

It was just story after story on every night that I had been with him, sometimes we wouldn't even get physical, he'd just lay on my lap and tell me what was on his mind. I was aware of the affair that I was having, and I felt bad for what I was doing, but I felt worse for Jungkook. I unknowingly allowed myself to be the other man, to be his stress reliever, and the person that would help out of his worries. Admittedly, it made me feel like I was with him, like he was mine, that, until I got the rude awakening.

Jimin found out.

He had simply been suspicious, and being the bitch that he is, he had only mildly investigated. Apparently it was too obvious, to Jimin at least, and he had shown up to my house and confronted me about having an affair with Jungkook.

It had been an eye opener, and I realized just how far we'd gone, we had started taking things casual, I realized Jungkook and I had let our guard down, we had basically lost ourselves in the passion we'd forgotten what we were doing was secret, and wrong. It made me wonder if perhaps Seokjin had caught on as well, if he questioned my relationship with Jungkook, if maybe that had been the reason why he had been a little distance.

I had crossed too many lines, and it weighed heavy on me the things I had allowed myself to do. Jungkook himself had been shocked that someone had found out, someone close to Seokjin, and so we had agreed, we agreed to stop, to sweep everything under the rug and forget about it. I made him promise me to stay away, to go back to Seokjin, and Seokjin alone. It had been working, and slowly these past few weeks I had been trying to forget everything, well... until he cordially invited everyone to their wedding.

Wedding...

He was getting married. I know I urged him to get things on track with Seokjin, but now that he was getting married, I questioned everything. If he was doing it for Seokjin's sake, because I told him to, or if he had wanted to do so from the beginning, if it was the latter, then had he been using me? Was I just a scapegoat for his problems, his sperm bank, whore?

I don't think I have ever cried like I did the other night at the party, I don't think I have hurt before like I did that day, but I did try to convince myself that it was for the best, I was going to wait for a while, possibly until after their wedding to go away, just quit work and take some time for myself, but here was Jungkook again, he'd come back despite everything that had happened.

He was in my arms once again, way ruined than I had seen him the last time. He had broken the promise he had made to me, and I had allowed him, I had let my rationality wrestle with the truth, and in the end I had given out to the pressure, and let lust take over.

I could bare it back then, but I can't anymore, Jungkook is getting married, we can't do this anymore, we should have never.

Wrapping the sheet around my naked body, I creep slowly from a sleeping Jungkook's arms, careful not to wake him, or injure my sore bottoms. (He was a little rough, not that I was complaining at the time.) I try to take a deep breath and will myself not cry, glancing back to Jungkook to see him calm, peaceful, contrary to earlier when he was shaking with rage.

I know Seokjin wouldn't tell him what they talked about with Namjoon in that elevator and I know that angered him. I too, saw them when they came out, and they were a mess. They had resolved their issues (the irony) and I know that worries Jungkook. It's clear they still have something between them, the tension is undeniable, and I wouldn't be surprised if they found themselves in each other's arms once more. Or maybe not, they still have a lot they are holding from each other, especially Seokjin, and judging by the way he was crying earlier, he might not have given it up. I think he should, but then again that's not my place to interfere in.

I don't want him to suffer more than he has already, and more than he will when he finds out about this thing with Jungkook, but it's inevitable. It's like a storm is brewing over our lives, and pretty soon, maybe sooner than we think, there is gonna be havoc in our lives, chaos and devastation.

I look to the floor, to the pile of our clothes that we had left earlier in our rush, and amongst everything, I spot the plastic stick of a test, the same one I had stuffed into my pocket when Jungkook had knocked at my door. I hadn't taken it, and I don't know if I should, but at the same time I can't keep putting it off, the signs are there.

Oh! A storm really is coming for all of us.