"Namjoon.

One month. One month since I asked him out. One month since I touched him, and one month since I kissed him. Having asked him out on an official date, all bodily touches were cut, all kisses stopped, and I wasn't allowed to do anything that would make him lose his own control either. It was funny how he expected me to watch out for the both of us, I mean it's tough enough to control my horny self, then I wasn't allowed to do anything that may trigger him either? Unfair if you ask me, given how he tempts me at every given chance.

We've been out to three dates. Four if you count movie night tonight.

Every friday of the week we got together for the dates, having healed only ten days after the incident, Seokjin had resolved to go back to sleeping at his apartment, and focus more on his job, much to my disappointment. But I got to go back to work too, and eventually we fell back into a new normal, which included lying to our friends about our relationship.

They still thought we hated each other, but secretly had sex and was lying about it, which was not surprising if you took account of what kind of friends we really had, well except for an observant Hoseok who had noticed the secret glances, the subtle staring, and our need to be around each other. It honestly grew harder with each passing day, like we had been together all our lives and it was extremely difficult to be apart from each other. A few times we had found ourselves on the brink of being overwhelmed, on acting on our desires and indulging on them. There was just something about our physical attraction that was hard to ignore, this thirst for one another that we needed to quench urgently. We seriously needed a pat on our backs for keeping off each other this long.

For our first date which I was a bit nervous for, I took Seokjin to a restaurant in the middle of Seoul, not exactly fancy, but moderate enough for both our comfort. He was dressed in these black ripped jeans, a simple white t shirt with nice rubber shoes, and a small sling bag to complement his outfit. He looked so cute, but sexy at the same time, especially when my eyes caught sight of his thighs and ass in those jeans.

We talked about everything on our first date, favorites, fears, likes, all just random thoughts we came about, including our families and background. I learnt more about his father, who divorced his mum when he was only seven, and now had another family out in the Philippines. He told me about his struggles growing up with his mother alone, how tough it was to be with a parent who didn't see the world in the same light as he did.

He wasn't sad, and didn't hold back when he spoke about it, rather he was free, like he could share with me everything he wanted to. I appreciated him doing so, and let him know he absolutely could share anything he wanted to talk about. A little bit of flirting occurred in the midst of it, which he still called me a pervert for, but blushed anyway, proving me right that he liked it.

For our second date we went out to a simple place in the neighbourhood, a nice tent by the deserted street, and had street food alongside some strangers. I had found myself talking more about me and my background, it wasn't out of obligation, and Seokjin had not asked me to either, I just wanted to share it with him, let him in on apart of myself that I deemed important.

I told him about our lives in Gwanju, about our farm, and how my parents work in it. He looked so intrigued to learn about the strawberries that we grew, and wanted to go there with every second that I narrated about it. I held back on Taehyung a bit, I wasn't sure how much I should let him in on Tae's life and condition, although I knew he didn't have one judging bone in his body. It was just the usual fear, the over thinking, and a certain over protection I had when it came to my younger brother. I did let Seokjin know of Tae's passion for art though, and the similarities they bared in common, and couple of other things about him.

That night he invited me back to his chic little apartment -which I had been to a couple of times before - to spend the night. It wasn't with any intention of sexy time, more of an extended hangout, which included a cute cuddly session through out the night. He expressed to me his reluctance to go back home. He felt like his mother was a little too desperate to be for real, to want all that for him. I thought about telling about the encounter the other day, but decided against it, I didn't want his decision to be influenced that. Pillow talk followed, and of course the longing stares to be with each other.
Our friends later found out the next Saturday when Seokjin and I slept in, and Hoseok and Solar, who had plans with him, walked into us spooning.

Let's just say Solar and Jackson had to pay up for losing bet, to Hoseok who had predicted something as such would happen. The three of them had then decided to third wheel on our third date, or rather drag us out to the club where Solar worked at in the evenings, claiming we needed to have a little fun with ourselves. It wasn't what we had in mind, but we went along anyway, accepting a treat out from our so called friends.

I think on a common ground we all agreed we liked to hang out together. We all made a good group, if you included Jackson's corny jokes, combined with Solar's constant shipping, and a level headed Hoseok who toned down those two, we were definitely the bomb. Keeping an eye out for my friends, and Seokjin, I decided not to drink a lot, I did give in to the alcohol, and Jackson's nagging at one point and rapped a part of my new project to them, but that's about it. The rest of the night I and Hoseok stayed by and watched them have fun, Solar was surprisingly good on the pole, I didn't know she was that good a dancer, same to Jackson and Hoseok who were professionals at humping the floor, and doing hip thrusts. Seokjin wasn't the best dancer out there, but goddamn, the way he looked at me while he sensually swayed his hips was something.

He didn't look like he was even trying, he looked more like he was playing around and enjoying himself, because he was already tipsy at the time, but again, goddamn it I almost popped a boner just watching him move, scratch that, I did pop one when he came back right after, sat on my lap, grinded on me, and told me I could have him for the night, with the most sultry look I have ever seen on him. Ok, maybe he wasn't just tipsy, he was drunk too, and wasn't exactly sure of the things he was talking about. Earlier that same week we had both agreed that we would have our first time after the third date, which of course we were both looking forward to, but we got too wasted, he instead only ended up spilling to me his kinks, and all his fetishes, all while he tried to get me to do a lot more than just hold his waist.

I didn't want our first time to be hazy, I didn't want him to not remember the little details of the night, or have him forget the kind of pleasure I wanted to bring to him, so once we all split up, I took him back to his apartment, let him change into his pajamas and put him to bed. I intended to leave him for the night to get some rest, but in his drunken stupor he had asked me stay. He pulled me to his bed, joined his hand to mine, and with those puppy dog eyes of his, asked me to say. I couldn't say no to him, not like that, so I ended up staying the night with him again, cuddling him, and holding him like he wanted, like I wanted.

That also gave me a chance to taunt him the next morning. He didn't believe me when I informed him of what he had been doing the previous night. Of course he also denied having any kinks, or fetishes, and denied having said that he wanted to sit on my handsome face, and suck on my long fingers. I reminded him of some the things he had disclosed, and needless to say he had turned beet red, visibly embarrassed, then swore to never drink alcohol again.

Being the good boyfriend that I am, I assured him that there was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, I let him know he didn't have to hide anything from me, and that I would be absolutely thrilled to give him anything his heart desired sexually.
Though he still insisted on me being the pervert after everything.

All that brings me to our fourth date, the one we are currently having tonight. It's Friday night again, and after thinking of the places we could go out to, we decided to say in instead. He is definitely simple, and little things make him happy, which is why when he requested if he could just have dinner in, shower, and watch a movie after, I agreed.

We are both on his nice couch, where I am lying on my back, my head on one of the back rests, while Seokjin is to his side, his other half on top of me. His head is resting on my chest, where he has his arm draped too, fingers loosely tracing invisible patterns. His one leg is thrown over my torso, and a little over my lower half, somehow so comfortable in the position.

We are on our second movie, not as interesting as the first one, or maybe it's my concentration that has dwindle with the time. He seems tired too, a slight sigh escaping his lips on intervals of mere seconds. "You tired?" I ask him, to which he hums, raising his head to look at me.

For this date we haven't talked a lot about anything, not that we know enough about each other already, not nearly really, we, or rather I, wanted to enjoy his company this evening. He has so far been the best thing that has happened to me, and just being with him, around him, fills me to no end. Like I said before, we are not in a relationship, yet. But this label less thing between us, it's satisfying, intriguing, it's something I have never felt before, and I like it, I like it a lot.

I smile up to him, pecking his lips gently. "You wanna go to bed?" He opens his mouth like he is about to say something, but my phone chooses to chime loudly the very same second, cutting him off. It's somewhere in the couch we are both laying in, and Jin has to pull it from between the cushions where I had lost it earlier, before handing it to me. He smiles at my recklessness, standing up with our empty glasses of juice, just as I answer the strange number, seemingly giving me some privacy. (Even though he doesn't have to.)

"Hello?"

The caller on the other side doesn't speak back, even on my second and third attempt to approach. "I can hear you breathing, hello?" I say again hoping whoever it is would speak up, but they don't. The line suddenly cuts, ending the call, and I am left confused as to what that was. I look back at the number, which is private and I can't call back.

For a moment I think it might be Taehyung, playing a trick on me, we spoke earlier, now on good terms, and we ended with a little bit of play as usual. But then I think of how serious he told me he is taking his finals, and I doubt he would have time to spare, especially for me.

"That's weird." I comment to myself.

"What is?" Seokjin asks as he comes into the room again, having heard the statement. "Nothing, just some private number calling me."

"What did they say?" He asks as he comes to sit beside me. "They didn't say anything, but I know they were there. Probably a wrong number."

"A wrong private number. What I coincidence."

"I know right." I echo to his worry, still in thoughts. I can't come up with anything other than it being strange, so I dismiss it with a shrug. "It's probably nothing." I say throwing back the phone on the table before leaning back on the couch. He looks at me for a second longer before nodding. "Cool, what do you want to do now? Sleep?"

His tone is a bit edgey, and so are his eyes as he looks at me. I know what I want to do, I've know for a while. Since last week when we were suppose to have our first time which didn't happen, we haven't talked about it yet, we kind of just let it go, so it would happen at its own time but I can't help think this is the opportunity. This is the time to do so.

"You know what I want to do." I say to him, keeping my voice the low. I move suddenly, taking the space between his legs, while he leans back on the couch with a yelp, surprised at the move. My lips find his in a sensual kiss, soft and sweet like always, while my body leans into his gradually. Biting his lip when he pulls away, he shakes his head playfully "still no clue." He mutters, his hands coming around my neck. "No?" I ask playing along before capturing his lips once more, I press myself to him a bit, and he mewls softly, lips parting for my tongue.

But I know if I start now I won't be able to help myself, he has to want the same, want to be with me, otherwise I can always wait, I hope he knows so. "How about now?" I ask him this time, still playing along. His cheeks are bit flushed, and his delicious lips already swelling. He looks flustered, but a little serious than he was just a few seconds back. "Maybe you should just show me, you know, for the purpose of refreshing my memory." He jokes, but I can tell he means it. I do too.

My fingers move some of the hair from his face, so I can get a good look at his beautiful eyes. They sparkle in the dim room, his lips set into a small smile. There are a thousand things going through my mind right now, about him being beneath me like this. I want him, I want his body so bad, but I know it's more than that, I know not having it now wouldn't kill me, wouldn't trouble me. I know I want more than just the physical contact, I want his heart, I want to make him happy, I want to make him mine.

"Let me make love to you." I say lowly, my eyes searching his for anything. "Love?" He whispers back, his tongue rolling with the word, like it's foreign. It's foreign to me as well, I don't think I have ever made love to anyone, I am not sure I know how to. All I've had is sex, and I know I want to give Seokjin more than that.

"Yes, love. Let me... pleasure you, please you..." My fingers caress his bottom lip gently, and he breathes out heavily, his eyes lidded with lust. "...let me love you." I tell him at last, my own words scaring me at how natural they sound. He kisses me, bringing me down to him so we are together. "Please." He whimpers on my lips.