Namjoon.

He hasn't been the same since his mum left. He is rather quiet, his face set into a small frown, much like I had seen on his mum earlier. He is a complete copy of her, complete resemblance and everything. It's clear where he got his good looks and it would be absolutely impossible to deny any relation between them. But I am not sure Seokjin wanted me to know. He looked tense in her presence, almost forced to be in that situation. I am guessing like me, he didn't know that his mother would drop by, and from the looks of it, he wasn't that elated either.

I don't want to assume but I think things aren't roses between them, they didn't look to have normal mother and son relationship, if the slight exchange earlier is anything to go by. In a spun of an hour I have learnt, or at least pieced together a few pieces of his life. Which doesn't change anything for me of course, but for him, I am not sure. The last thing that was discussed was him going back home, possibly back to his mother, or their actual house and not Seokjin's apartment that is around here. I can tell he is thinking about it. His frowns deepens by the minute, and I can tell he is drifting further away from here, mentally at least.

I wince in pain as he presses down the soaked cotton on my wound with a little too much pressure. "I am sorry." He says immediately, jumping a little, more startled than I am. He looks up at me apologetic, eyes begging me to bare with him. He also looks flustered, cheeks covered in deep hue. I think it's the position we are in, and the dynamics of everything. It's affecting me too, possibly me more than him.

He is right between my legs on a kneeling position, his hands working on the wound on my left. It's almost impossible not to feel more as his fingers graze over my skin, they are soft, slightly clammy, and evoke something from me. His heavy breath fans over my torso, and slightly lower, making me think of things I shouldn't be thinking about now. Sinful things that don't involve my wound, but him still on his knees. "Fuck." I mutter under my breath as I try not to get myself in trouble. "Sorry, did that hurt again?" He looks up to me with those eyes of his, cheeks still blushed.

My attraction to him doesn't allow me to think of this as it is, more of something dirty. I lean back on the couch, willing myself to breath so I don't get hard, which is almost impossible as I feel myself growing with every heavy breath from him. He looks oblivious for now, and that's a good thing, I don't want to be more perverted than he already thinks I am.

"Almost done, you ok?"

I am not. "Yeah." I lie as I continue my deep breaths. Oddly, I wonder if he this affects him more than his blushed cheeks. If he feels the same way I do being in this position, or if my ass is just perverted like he says. I know there is an attraction between us, I know he feels something for me deep within those denying words of his. It's the reason I pursed him to begin with

Months ago we were only exchanging mere looks, keeping gazes, and secretly smiling, when we weren't pretending to hate each other, that is. I knew from the very begin i couldn't resist him, that coffee incident had brought him to me for a reason, and I wasn't going to let him go away, unless otherwise.

Circumstances brought us here again, where I know he doesn't hate me, or have vile feelings for me. If anything he feels the same way I do, if I could count on the incident from the bathroom earlier. God, I almost kissed him, almost ravaged him. Maybe it was the way he touched me, the way his nails had grazed my back that had aroused me that much, and clouded my senses, or maybe it was the way he had looked at me like he wasn't going to stop me at all if I was going to take him on that shower wall.

Either way it did things to me, things that I in turn wanted to do to him, things that aren't too different from now. "Done, I am done. How do you feel?" He asks as he smooths the tape holding the bandage carefully. He has a little present smile as he looks up, the first thing that I have learnt looks beautiful on him. He looks beautiful when he smiles, eyes crinkling slightly.

"Cool, thank you." I say back, finally able to catch my breath, but still with a lingering issues which don't seem to go away as he still has a palm resting on my bare chest, and still in that kneeling position. "I don't think I did it right though."

"Oh, and your saying that when your done. Good to know." He laughs at my sarcasm, inspecting over the dressing once more. "It's not as perfect as the hospital's, but it will do. Unless you want to tear it back out." He jokes, and laughs immediately when I give him an incredulous look. "You must really be enjoying this."

"Seeing you in pain, kind of." He amuses, titling his head to the side with a teasing smile. He extends an arm to the other side, pulling at my t shirt to help me in it. I hurry out and put it on, groaning at the slight pain, but nonetheless happy to cover my growing boner. "Now your medicine, then rest."

"Yes nurse." I say, to which he rolls his eyes with playfully. He finally gets up from between my legs, picking up the supplies and putting them back in the kit. He leaves for a moment before    coming back with the drugs and water. Like a parent, he waits under a watchful gaze for me to take it, like I would be throwing it behind the couch the moment he turns away. This is his idea of taking care of me, it's extensive, and elaborate. This past two days I have felt like a person, with him. Usually I have a routine of eat, sleep and work, but since yesterday I have felt like I am living when he is around.

It's not a lot, but more of the little things that he does, like listen when I tell him of my ambitions, he somehow knows me like he has been around me a few years. It's a crazy feeling, and maybe it's all in my head because I like him, and need him to like me back, but it's nice to feel so.

"I wanted to leave for a few hours, will that be alright?" He asks when I put the glass down. It's absurd that he would even ask me that, "of course, you don't need to ask for my permission." I remind him, "I know, I just..."

"... looking out for me again." I cut him off. I don't like feeling like a burden, and I don't want him to think he is obligated to take care of me either. "You had a life before yesterday, one that you still need to live. Don't let me stop you." I remind him again.

"I know, I wanted to run a few errands, and pick out a few clothes from my apartment." I know by errands he doesn't just mean basic, I know he is still thinking about earlier, and it may constitute greatly to his sudden need to go out. It's not my place to question it, and completely his business which I shouldn't be in, so I nod along, keeping it simple.

"Your moving in, taking that boyfriend thing seriously huh?" He smiles along, but it gradually falls, a sigh escaping him. His eyes meet mine, and they roam my face in detail. "Did I say something wrong?" I ask him when he doesn't say anything in return. I am afraid I might gone overboard with my jokes again. "No, I am sorry actually, about my mum earlier." He mutters. "I didn't think she would show up here, much less say things like that about you." His voice is different, a bit upset. I didn't mind the things his mother said earlier, I know some were directed towards me, but quite frankly I was only caught in the middle, I had no business being between them. Plus, she didn't say anything offensive, or untrue towards me.

"There was nothing wrong with what she said to me. You don't have to apologise for her showing up announced either." I assure him, to which he blinks repeatedly, his eyes still on me. "I know she might have come off rude, and a little affront, and I totally understand if your offended."  He looks at me expectantly, and I have the feeling he doesn't want me to lie to him, I wouldn't, even if I was actually offended. His mum did make some remarks regarding me, which weren't necessarily nice, but not untrue either. Maybe I am not the man for his son, or tasteless like she put it, but that's her opinion, and in no way am I offended by it. If Seokjin said it...maybe then that would be a different scenario.

"I promise, I wasn't offended by anything, it wasn't the ideal meeting, and it was bound to be unconventional."

"Still, I am sorry if it caused you any inconvenience." He says, to which I nod along, tempted to remind him of how much he worries. But I keep in mind that he does it for good, it's just who he is. If there is anything I have learnt about him, is that he hates to impose on people, or to inconvenience them. He reminds me of my brother in a lot of ways.

"Maybe I just need to impress her more, since we're boyfriends now." He playfully groans with a smile, sauntering to the bedroom freely. He is now dressed in another pair of my sweatpants, and hoodie. He looks cute in them, the way they envelope him fully.  "Your something else." He says as he comes back into the room after retrieving his bag. "I am your boyfriend, that I know." He smiles but doesn't protest, which makes me think I am making progress.

"I'll only be gone a few hours, please eat and get your rest. And please, if you need anything call immediately. Ok?" He looks sexy when he gives out orders, or requests. "Ok, you worry too much." I protest, but he doesn't seem to have it.

"Promise me you'll eat and rest Joon, for real." He gets serious, almost pleading. I can't tell him anything other than what he wants. It's impossible when he's looking at me like that, and calling me like that. "I promise." I say finally, to which he nods and moves for the door. "Don't I get a goodby kiss?" I say smirking, but half serious. His ear tips turn red, and a huge smile takes over his lips. "No, you pervert." He laughs, but surprises me by blowing me a kiss before shutting the door. And he says I am something.

I feel empty a soon as he leaves, the silence that I am always used to is almost foreign to me now. These two days with him has shown me a new side of life, one with him that I don't want to loose.

I sigh as I pick up my phone from the table, Seokjin isn't the only one on my mind right now, my family is too, my brother, largely being a part of my worry. He is my number one priority before anything else, and knowing that he is possibly suffering right now, doesn't sit well with me.

I debate on whether to call him and inquire about how he is doing, but I am also hesitant on what he would think about this call. He is a bit sentimental sometimes, and everyone reminding him of his health, and what not to do, could trigger a certain mindset that wouldn't be good for him.

My parents and I are definitely not trying to control him, more of look out for him because of his condition, but it might be easily perceived as something else from his side of view because he doesn't have a lot of options. It has happened before, and it could happen again, and I dread that, because like last time he might give up, let go everything, and not want to live anymore.

He has been doing so well these past months, and I am confused as to what might have brought this new mindset of his, of being a burden to us like mum says he feels. I know he is not blind, and has probably seen how tight money is becoming for us, especially with his upcoming surgery, but still it shouldn't be something to affect him.

He worries too much, lives in his head actually, and that is not healthy for him. He has come so far, and I don't want our financial constraints to be the onset of something bad for him. This one may cause him something irreversible, something permanent that he may not be able to recover from this time.

Taehyung is fragile in other words, always been since he was eleven, and was diagnosed with a bad heart. A mild condition of Arrhythmia, or otherwise an irregular heartbeat. He was immediately put on drugs following the diagnosis, and determined to be able to recover by that alone since it wasn't as serious. He did for a few years, right in his bedroom, or in the confines of our house where it forced him out of his childhood.

He wasn't allowed to play with the other kids, or help out with anything strenuous. We all feared it would affect him negatively or would bring out the worst from him. For a few years I was his only companion, friend, brother, schoolmate, and everything else he needed when my parents weren't around. We did everything together, from his art to my music, we went everywhere he wanted to go, took him to every doctor's appointment, and stayed with him through every episode, until he was off drugs, and he could ease off slowly back into the society.

But his condition unfortunately reoccurred, worse than it had been, only a year earlier. It was questionable weather it had even been treated to begin with. We were all disappointed, all scared, and all worried. But Taehyung had had it worse, not only had his childhood been taken from him, but he was also being robbed of his prime teen-age years now. He didn't want to go through it once more, or be the couped up kid anymore, and despite my and my parents please he had given up fight. He would take his drugs because he had no other options, and see the doctor because he had to, otherwise everything was gone to him.

I had to remind him that he wasn't just fighting for himself for but for all of us, his loss meant our loss too, and his downfall meant ours too. It took me a while but eventually we managed to convince him to keep faith. That had been a year ago, when I had to leave Gwanju to access another source of income. The construction work there, which I had taken up to support my parents, was exhausted, and new projects weren't coming in quick.

I had to travel to Seoul after my uncle, who also rented this apartment for me, got me a contract with this construction company. Construction pays well, and the money I make is supposed to contribute to Taehyung's upcoming scheduled surgery, that is only in three months. We have made a lot so far, added to my college entry fund that I didn't use, to the profits from the farm, and the loans that we have taken out, we are almost there, and by the time the surgery is due, hopefully, we should be prepared.

Taehyung in the meantime is back on his medicine as he waits, I try my best to remind him that he is just as normal as everyone else out there, and he is absolutely going to get to live his dreams of going to actual school with people, and getting to nurture his talent. I know he doesn't think it's practical that he would be able to join college immediately after his surgery, following all the loans, and the debt that we have accumulated, but I am determined to give him a proper future, he has been robbed of so much, he deserves everything.

He will be done by highschool, just in time for his surgery, and his recovery aligns real well with everything. I hope it goes all well, just like it's planned in my head. Maybe then we could both get futures for ourselves.

The phone goes unanswered a couple of times, and I relent for the meantime, he will come around soon, maybe in a few hours or so. Or so I hope.