Burden (Part 2)
UF!Sans
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TRIGGER WARNING: this one shot covers issues on SELF HARM AND VERBAL ABUSE
Please know that I don't want to offend anyone with this story and if I did, I'm terribly sorry. I can take it down if any of you want.
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(h/l) - hair length
(h/c) - hair colour
(Y/n) - your name
It was a couple of months after Papyrus trying and failing to kill you. Sans wasn't able to heal you as you didn't let him and ended up fighting Papyrus soon after. But you didn't fight. Or defend yourself. You simply sat on the snow floor outside the skelebros house and took hit after hit, Papyrus getting mad soon after. He insisted that you fight back but you didn't, seeing no reason to. You were just tired to do anything. Sans was about to help but Frisk interfered. They convinced Papyrus to spare you and he did. He left to cool off and Sans, Frisk and you decided to stay indoors. You were badly injured, bleeding in various places and you coughing up blood. Sans wanted to heal you but you glared at him not to. Instead, Sans insisted that you sleep in his room to heal but you disagreed and Frisk let you sleep in theirs. Sadly, there was no second bed but you opted for the couch instead until a second bed had arrived. There was no need for the bed anyway. You would stay up late, sitting on the floor with your back up against the couch, your feet up to your chest and listening to music all night. You were never one to sleep. Deeming it to be a waste of time. Sometimes there would be tears, sometimes not.
Sans initially was worried about you and why you acted like this. You didn't want help from anyone and didn't want anything. Didn't sleep, barely ate and was barely seen around the house. He wanted to confront you about this but didn't get to as he was either busy, had something to do for Papyrus or you weren't ever seen for the entire day or all three. Papyrus hated the fact that you wasted your time, his verbal abuse now aimed at you as well as aimed at Sans. None of Frisks lessons could help him be kinder to you. You didn't argue, didn't fight back with the exception of peacefully accepting his chores that you would do for the day. It was honestly better than sitting at the library and reading.
"(Y/N)!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" Papyrus' voice echoed throughout the house and you visibly flinched. Turning the tv off, you head downstairs to see him waiting for you in the kitchen. "WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU DONE YOUR CHORES YET!" He held up your list and you grabbed it, started your chores. You had only woken up, needing something like the tv to wake up your mind. "OH NOW YOU DO THEM! YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT! YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE! ALWAYS BEING A FUCKING PAIN AND BEING A WASTE OF SPACE IN THIS HOUSE!" Papyrus goes on with his rant and you plug in your headphones without him realising. You started washing the dishes, hoping that Papyrus leaves. You grip the edge of the counter, still being able to hear Papyrus through your music. Your heart starts to beat wildly when you feel hands turn you around. Papyrus sneers down at you with absolute hate.
"YOU LITTLE BITCH! NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Papyrus pulls out a headphone and you back into the counter. Sans was by the doorway of the kitchen now, having woken up from the commotion. He watched, unsure how to help you as Papyrus flings his hands up in frustration. His eyes widen at your reflex of this as you quickly covered your head with your arms, crouching away from Papyrus. Sans stares down at your shaking body, visible flinching away from Papyrus with your eyes closed. His soul lurches out to help you but his cowardliness gets the best of him.
"Please don't hit me." Sans heard you whimper out, your hands shaking heavily above your head as Papyrus slowly drops his hands down to his side. Papyrus just walks out of the kitchen and Sans starts to hear you sniffle, still in your stance. "If you want me to do something, tell me and I'll do it." You stuttered out, your voice cracking as you tried to hold in your tears.
"(Y/n)?" You quickly look up at Sans with wide eyes. Sans steps forward to help you, seeing the tears slowly rolling down your cheeks but you ran past him and out the door with your bag. "Dammit kid." Sans mumbles out before teleporting to his room to change his clothes and running out to find you.
The wind scoured past you once more, your hoodie hiding your face as you ran with a limp, the pain slowly appearing again. You ran past all the monsters and through the heavy fog that sat at the end of the road from Snowdin. You could hear someone call out but you didn't know it was for you. You kept pushing through the heavy fog and rapid winds, finally escaping the mini snowstorm. You ran with no destination in mind till you arrived at a cavern like area with sparkling blue flowers and clear blue waters. It was as if it was constantly night, minerals on the ceiling of the area acting like stars. It was beautiful and calm, the sound of a waterfall soothing your racing heart. You found the waterfall and sat by the pond. You wiped your face of your dry tears, placing your hands on your legs. Your mind whirled with thoughts and echoes, memories flashing before your eyes and you flinching away from them. Your heart started pounding in your chest and your head throbbed as your eyes turned glassy, soon blinded by the falling and silent tears. You snarled at your reflection in the water, whimpering out as you hit the water with your hand, the water rippling. You burst out in tears, covering your mouth to trap the loud sobs.
You angrily threw a nearby pebble into the waterfall, hearing it clatter on a hard surface. Your heard perks up at this, wondering if there was a secret room behind the waterfall. You quickly grabbed your umbrella and waddled through the pond, walking through the waterfall to end up and a smaller cavern. It was warm, with soft green grass and the walls covered from floor to ceiling of brightly shining minerals, like diamonds. You sat down by a wall, your legs pulled up to your chest. The tears start to fall again, slowly. One tear after another. With a heavy heart, you grab a pen from your bag and raise your sleeves. The word burns brightly at you, mocking you in its scarred state. Tears fall faster, your face contorting to one of hatred and anger.
"I was always a burden to everyone! Why can't I just be forgotten or be left alone to rot!" Your arm holding the pen strikes down at the letters on your other arm, dragging down deep and painfully to rip open the scars. You scream out in anguish, the pen digging deeper till droplets of blood start to appear. You press down harder, ripping skin and the blood pouring out more. You look down at the word, freshly marked into your skin. A sense of relief floods through you, fatigue taking over your body. Your heart starts to calm and you relish in the burning pain of your arm. Your shoulders fall softly against the wall as the invisible weight just lifts off, feeling content and just free. Your breathing slows as you lay your head against the wall of the cavern, your arms limp at your sides. "Why am I here?" There was euphoria before your eyes had closed, your mind falling unconscious.
Sans panicked silently, teleporting to the forest in Snowdin, to Grillby's to Hotlands, Alphys' lab even to Asgore's castle. He looked everywhere for you, in the end being annoyed and frustrated as he arrived at the Waterfall. Sans had his hands in his pockets, kicking a stray pebble in front of him as he walked. Sans grumbled, thinking back to what happened in the kitchen. He stops shorts and sighs.
"I should've done something instead of being a cowardly prick and standing there like an idiot." He thought back to how you instinctively flinched away from Papyrus' raised arm as if you were anticipating something. Sans frowns at this, trying to figure out why you had acted like this compared to when you were extremely closed off from everyone and even talked back to Papyrus with undeniable courage. You were brave, strong willed in the most idiotic of ways and stood your ground to a point where you wouldn't give two shits. It confused him but also hurt Sans to see you shaking in fear in the kitchen. To see you shivering and waiting for a hit even though you protected yourself. It didn't add up to him. "What did ya go through up there kid." Sans grumbles, ending up in front of the pond and a waterfall. He kicked the pebble into the pond, the still water now broken and rippling across the surface. Sans suddenly heard a thump from across him, his attention on the ripples breaking. He stared at the waterfall, his non-existing brows furrowed. Curiosity wins him over and he jumps into the puddle standing in front of the waterfall. "There ain't no way." the water splits into two, framed with a bright glow of red as Sans uses his magic. His eye sockets widen, a small cavern hidden behind the waterfall. He didn't pay attention to the cavern but to the body that lay towards the near back. Their face was obscured from their (h/l) (h/c), them laying on their side. Sans slowly walked towards the body, initially thinking to softly kick the body to see if it was alive but stopped short to see red liquid near the body. "(y/n)!" Sans kneeled down by your body, recognising your bag that laid next to you. He quickly picks up your body and sits you upright to lay against the wall. "What the fuck did you do kid!?" He sees the blood drip from your arm, reading the word scarred into your skin. "(y/n). Why?" Sans picks your body up bridal style, and your bag floating next to him due to his magic. He quickly teleports to the front of his house to treat your arm. The door suddenly flings open and Papyrus blocks the way.
"SANS! GOOD! YOU FOUND THE PATHETIC SHIT!" Sans ignores his brother and pushes past him into the house. "WHY IS THAT THING BLEEDING!?" Sans continues to ignore Papyrus, absolutely pissed off that he lead you to be like this. He didn't care if the verbal abuse was aimed at him but hated it if it was aimed at you. And to a point that you cracked under the words like this. "WHAT DOES THAT SAY ON THAT THINGS ARM!? SANS-"
"-It says burden!" Sans snaps and turns sharply to face his brother, his eye flaring a dangerous bright red. Papyrus flinches and takes a step back, never having seen his brother like this at all. And not aimed at him. "And do ya know why!?" Sans growls, hugging you closer to him as if trying to calm himself down and protect you. "Because of all the shit she goes through cause of ya! Not to mention whatever the fuck she went through up there that made her like this! Have ya thought of how ya words hurt people!? Have ya wondered how they hurt me!? Well look at her arm now Papyrus!" Papyrus watches as his brother calms down from his sudden rage, his eyes going back to normal. Papyrus watches as Sans carries you up to his room, the door slammed.
Sans softly lays you on his bed, comfortably resting your head on the pillows and covering you with the blanket before making sure your arm lay on top of the covers. He quickly goes to the bathroom and grabs the aid kit. Sitting by your sleeping form, Sans grabs the cotton and the Hydrogen Peroxide and cleans your wounds. Sans stops every time you flinch, your nose scrunching up from the pain. Sans chuckled darkly, amused at how you could make such an adorable face at a moment like this. Once finished, Sans grabbed the gauze and wrapped it around your arm, securing it before placing it back in the kit and putting the kit away in the bathroom. Sans comes back to the bedroom to see you toss and turn in bed, curling up in a ball.
"Shh. Its ok. Its ok." Sans whispers softly as a tear falls down your cheek, soon followed by few more. Sans jumps into bed, unsure on what to do and hesitantly turns you around, placing your head on his chest. His arm wraps around your waist softly as your arms grip his shirt in your fists. "Calm down would ya." Sans murmurs, using his magic to raise his body temperature and hugging you. Your shaking body stilled and Sans let's out a breath of relief. He feels your hands shake on his shirt, grabbing them softly with his. Sleep soon overpowers him.
Murmurs could be heard, the light blinding your closed eyes. You turned around on and rested on something soft. You huddle into the softness, rustling heard from your movement. There was a loud thud and you quickly rise up in fright. Your mind was foggy, your limbs having a mind of their own as you stood up. You stood in front of the door, your hand barely able to open the door. Yelling could be heard when the door swung open and you stood out from the bedroom. You walked down the stairs to see the two brothers fighting. You couldn't figure out if this was a figment of your imagination or not, rubbing your eyes.
"Guys?" You murmur softly. The skeletons stop fighting and look over at you. There was a small hint of a blush in Sans' face, seeing you cutely rub your eyes. Papyrus' eyes land on your covered arm, seeing the blood colouring the gauze. You follow Papyrus' eyes and see the gauze. You gasp as you quickly hide the arm behind your back. You grind your teeth, anger bubbling up in your heart. Not at the two brothers, but at yourself. You quickly run upstairs and lock the door to your bedroom.
"(Y/n)!? Open the door!" You could hear Sans on the other side of the door as you grabbed your bag that was always packed. "Open the fucking door before I teleport in!" Slipping on your hoodie, you were about to jump out the window when hands grabbed your waist.
"No! Let me go!"
"You're not going nowhere." Sans growled from behind and you struggled to get out of his grasp. You didn't realise the tears falling down your cheeks when you suddenly tasted something salty. You struggled harder as Sans trapped your arms at your sides, you using your legs to try and propel yourself out of his grip but to no avail.
"Please. I'm begging you." Sans could hear you whimper softly as you continues to pry his hands off of you. "Sans please just-" You stop short, feeling your body being hugged from behind. Sans had tightly wrapped his arms around your waist, not letting you go as he buried his skull on your shoulder. Tears welled up from the physical contact, from the warmth you felt from the hug, the security of it. You let out a tired sigh, a sob being released out in the quiet. You looked down at your shaky hands before wiping away the continuous waterfall of tears.
"You're not a burden." Sans whispered in your ear as you burst out in tears, all your emotions pouring out from being bottled for too long. All the tears you tried to hold in for years escaping, all your sadness pouring out with them. You tried to muffle your tears with your shaky hands, your heart beating fast and your head pounding. You fall to the floor on your knees, screaming out in tears.
"Of course i am! Why am i here!? Why am i born!? I don't want to be here!" You scream out in anguish, your sobs getting louder as you gripped your scarred arm to your chest. You bend over, screaming in anguish as the tears poured out. Sans softly kneeled in front of you as you gripped your hair in anger, your head leaning on the floor.
Papyrus watched from the doorway, his hard exterior breaking as he saw you on your knees in tears. He didn't know that you would cry. He didn't know that you would shatter like this from his words. Sure he had killed monsters for the sheer fun of it, but seeing Sans trying to comfort you, trying to calm you down, not only make him question whether Sans had feelings for you, but if what he had been doing was wrong. He didn't realise how much someone could be hurting themselves, enough to try and kill themselves instead of him doing the job for them. Papyrus clenched his jaws as you shouted out once more, sobbing loudly to a point it sounded like you were screaming. His soul clenched at this scene before walking away. He didn't notice the stray tear that had fallen on his cheekbones.
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