Ishita's POV

Last two days I have been thinking about the biggest blunder of my life.

Going to Bangalore a week before my wedding is a blunder indeed.

How could I be so selfish?

What if I had met Ajnabi 

I would have gone with him leavingRaman 

I was so wrong. So so wrong.

I was going to ditch Raman.

What if he was in my place and had done the same with me?

Would I ever be able to come out of the trauma?

Would I ever forgive him for breaking my heart?

I was unfaithful.

I have cheated on him.

Cheated on him by going away without letting him know.

Its not that this marriage was forced on me.

I was reluctant initially.

Akka had to cajole, console and compel me to think about it.

Raman had asked my opinion before the alliance was fixed.

He made sure that I happily accepted the proposal.

He assured that he would back off if I was not convinced.

I thought of several reasons to reject the proposal, but not one was a valid excuse.

Giving up, I finally agreed.Wholeheartedly??? Not exactly! Well, atleast I tried!

Raman has everything what a girl sees in a Perfect Life Partner.

Then why can't I bring myself to accept him as My Perfect Life Partner?

It's not that I never tried. I did. I did every day.

But every time I visualized a Happy Married Life it was with none but Ajnabi.

This would make me guilty, I would distance myself from Raman.

Meeting him was inevitable, but I had always avoided meeting him alone.

Talking to him was unavoidable, but I would never initiate a conversation.

The guilt of being in love with someone else and spending life with the other was killing me.

Was this guilt not killing me already that I had to do another big blunder and upsurge the guilt?

This guilt is definitely going to cause me my life, coz its suffocating and heart-wrenching.

Only thing that can possibly lessen the guilt and save my life is disclosing everything to Raman.

Yes! I must tell him.

He has a right to know that the image of a husband in my eyes is not his.

He should know that I have always been unfaithful to him.

He must know that I was going to ditch him a week before the marriage.

Whatever the consequence may be, I need to tell him the truth.

He may not want to have me in his life anymore, he might dump me at the altar, I would never get married, I would be termed as Bewafa.

It hurts to think of such consequences, but I deserve it.

I deserve this punishment for playing with his heart.

I had the decision made and reached for my phone.

I gathered myself for the confession and its consequences.

That's when I received his call informing me of the Valentine's Party.

He didn't let me speak.

He assumed I am going to confess and say I Love You but little did he know that my confession was worse than I hate you.

He said he knows what I wanted to say.Unfortunately he has no idea what I am going to say!

"14th Feb ko Hamari zindagi badalnewali hai" Ajnabi's words echoed in my ears when Raman hung up.

Indeed! Our lives are going to change!

--------

13th Feb

I stared at the words imprinted on my hands as I washed off the henna.

IshRa was written in a big heart.

The Mehendiwali said that it's a latest trend to have couples names combined and this name was suggested by none other than #SRKtypesCEOWriter Raman Kumar Bhalla.

"How sweet!" the ladies had gushed at the name.

I was amazed by the dark color of the henna.

"Tu dekh na Ishita is mehendi ka rang khoob chadhega. Mai apne puttar ke ankh dekh kar bata sakti hun ki wo tujhse kitna pyar karta hai" Toshi Aunty had exclaimed proudly.

Hatheli pe naam likhna jitna asan hai, kash dil par likhna bhi itna asan hotha I sighed.

I could not help but imagine AnAj (Anamika+Ajnabi) written on my hand.

I clenched my fist so hard that my nails dug into my palm.

Najaane tum kahan chale gaye ho
Yad mujhe tum kitna aarahe ho
Suni si hai dil ki gali
Oh Ajnabi, Mere Ajnabi  

When I dressed up and came to the living room, there was a surprise awaiting me.

Guess what???

Rather guess who???

No, it wasn't Ajnabi. It was Raman.

What was he doing here at this hour?

Was he here to listen to what I wanted to say?

But today is 13th Feb, he said he would listen on 14th Feb.

This is an unexpected encounter.

I ain't prepared yet.

"Hi" he said in amazement.

"Hi" I mumbled in astonishment.

"Do I have to mention that you look beautiful as always?"

"Was it a compliment?"

"Of course it was"

"Thanks"

"You are not happy that I am here"

"No...I mean yes...I mean..."

"Its ok. I understand"

Was he hurt??? I think so!

"I mean aise achanak...I am surprised"

"Thank God you said surprised...agar shocked bolti to mujhe sach me shock lag jatha" he was clearly trying to lighten the mood.

"By the way mai yahan tumhe borrow karne keliye aya tha"

"I am sorry mai samjhi nahi"

"Mai chahta tha ki hum ek akhri baar, well technically  aur  baar, as a  waqt guzarein" he stressed on the words pehli, akhri and couple.

I stared at him baffled. What did he mean by that?

He must have read my mind "I mean as an unmarried couple" he said.

Was he trying to cover up? It seemed so!

What is he upto? I have no clue

"So May I?" he asked

"Wo Amma Appa..." I tried to come with an excuse as always. Spending time alone with him scared me.

"Unse maine permission le li hai and they don't mind at all"

"Wo mai..." I tried to come up with some other excuse.

"Ishita! Please aaj ek baar bin kuch pooche, bin kuch kahe mere sath chalo"he begged.

"Please" he said bringing his hand forward.

Bin kuch kahe bin kuch sune
Hathon me hath liye
Char Kadam bas Char Kadam
Chal do na sath mere
The lines rang in my ear.

Is it an indication that he is going to replace Ajnabi in my life??? My heart asked.

Could be! Why not give it a try? My brain suggested.

And with that I slipped my hand in his. The wide smile on his face said how happy he was.

He really loves you my brain gushed.

Will he love you after knowing the truth?My heart asked.

Lets not think about that now my brain rubbished.

Agreed! Lets live in the moment my heart agreed.

"Thanks Ishita! Dil karta hai zindagi bhar aise hi tumahara hath thaame rahun" 

Did he just say that!?