FOUR. feels like I'm a monster on the hill

Tatum didn't remember falling asleep that night. All she remembered was them sitting down against the trees and suddenly her eyes are closed. She woke up between Octavia and Finn with her jacket over her and her head rested on her arms. Octavia was rested close to Jasper. She found herself smiling.

The pair met when they were three years old. They met Monty when they were five. His mother, Hannah, basically treated her like a daughter. By the time she was six, the three of them were the best of friends, branding themselves the Golden Trio. It was only then that called each other that, but Tatum loved them more than anything.

They continued their walk through the forest. They needed to cross the rocks to the other side of the woods to continue, which lead to an argument between Finn and Jasper. "Just hang on till the apogee and you'll be fine." Jasper told him.

"The apogee, like, the Indians?" Finn questioned, obviously stalling so he didn't have to go.

"Apogee, not apache."

Tatum rolled her eyes. "He knows, Jazz. Finn, you said you were going to go first!"

"Yeah, now quit stalling." Clarke agreed with her.

Finn looked down and casted them a smile. He gripped the vine. "Mount Weather awaits." He proclaimed.

Just as he was about to swing, Jasper stopped him. "Wait–Wait."

"What?"

He glanced down at Octavia to see her smiling at him. "Let me, I can do it." He said quickly.

"Aww, someone's gotta crush." She whispered to Monty.

"He's growing up." He whispered back with a grin.

Finn laughed when he understood and he handed Jasper the vine. "I knew there was a badass in there somewhere."

Laughing nervously, Jasper gripped the vine and they switched sides. He hesitated at first, and Finn leaned closer to him. "Hey, it's okay to be afraid, Jasper. The trick is not fighting it." He whispered.

Jasper eased up. He looked down again, Tatum and Monty sending him encouraging smiles. "See you on the other side." He said out loud and took a deep breath before stepping back and quickly running forward, letting the vine swing him across the river. He yelled joyously and let go of the vine when he reached the other side. Scrambling to his feet, he faced his friends and threw his hands up. "Yeah! We are apogee!"

The other erupted with cheers. "Way to go, Jazz!" Tatum shouted into her hands.

"Let's go, Princess. You're up." Finn said to Clarke and handed her the vine with a smile. She smiled back.

"Come on, Clarke! You got this!" Jasper encouraged while spinning around with his arms still in the air. "Whoo! Apogee!" He yelled out again. When he twirled, he spotted a metal sign on the ground and picked it up with interest. His eyes widened and he moved to the edge again and help the sign up. "We did it! Mount Weather!"

"Yes!" Monty hollered and fist-pumped the air enthusiastically.

"Come on Clarke, show him how it's done." Tatum insisted, easing up on the girl ever so slightly.

Clarke was shocked by it. As she prepared to make the journey herself, an object shot by them and pierced its way into Jasper's chest, flinging him back into a tree.

Tatum felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her and she stepped back alarmed, her hand instinctively going to Monty's arm. It happened so fast, within a matter of seconds, and it made everyone go quiet. Nobody said a word as they were all in shock and she felt as if she would pass out as she stared at the spear that impaled her best friend.

"J-Jasper!" Clarke choked.

"Jasper, no!" Octavia cried out.

Tatum couldn't speak. She felt like her body wouldn't allow her to move or breathe. "Tate, get down!" Monty shouted and dragged her to the ground.

"Get down!" Finn followed his words.

"We're not alone." Clarke breathed.

"We have to leave, now." He said sternly and grabbed her arm. "We have to get back to the drop ship, come on!"

His words made Tatum snap out of it. "What? No, we're not leaving him!" She shouted.

"Tatum, we have to go." Clarke agreed with Finn.

Her eyes filled with tears. "No! He's our best friend."  She motioned to her and Monty.

"I'm sorry, Tatum."

Clarke took off running and Finn chased after her. Octavia grabbed Tatum's arm and dragged her away. They ran as fast as they possibly could. Because he was running so fast, Monty wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and he ended up tripping over a tree beach and he landed on the ground in front of a pile of bones.

"Monty, come on! We got to go!" Clarke called out as Tatum kneeled down to help him. "Monty, get up!"

She froze when she saw what he was looking at. Tatum picked up a skull that resembled a head that didn't look human. "Who are they?" Finn questioned fearfully.

Crows squawked above them and they heard a distant scream. It was Jasper. "It's Jasper. He's alive!" Tatum said heavily and didn't hesitate to run in the direction of the scream.

"Tate, wait!"

She ignored Finn's call and ran as fast as she could to where Jasper had laid. More tears filled her eyes at the possibility of what she could see. Tatum was not a person that cried often. She came to a halt when she saw that Jasper's body was no longer where it was
against the tree. The Mount Weather the sign was laying on the ground. "He was right there." She muttered with shaky breaths.

Monty came up beside her. "Where is he?"

The others finally caught up to them and they all looked around, seeing no sight of Jasper. Clarke swallowed hard. "They took him."

Tatum argued like hell to get them not to leave the forest and go looking for Jasper, but after a while, she knew she wouldn't win. She held Octavia's waist as they rushed back to the drop ship, helping her because of her limp. When they made it back to the others,  they saw Wells holding a knife to Murphy's throat. 

Clarke left their side and rushed down there, ordering Wells to let him go. After a minute, he dropped the knife from his neck but then shoved him forward.  Murphy regained his balance and turned to charge at Wells until Bellamy jumped in and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Hey! Enough." He ordered with a rough tone of voice.

"Let's get you down, okay?" Tatum muttered to Octavia and helped her get down the hill.

From where he stood, Bellamy had noticed her carrying his sister and rushed over to help. "Octavia,  are you alright?" He asked with worry and concern.

Tatum was reluctant to hand her off to him but he took ahold of his sister and he helped her stand. "Who did this?" He asked. "Where's the food?"

Tatum scoffed. "So typical."

Clarke stood beside Finn. "It's a kind of a long story but—"

"Explain."

"We never made it to Mount Weather."

Bellamy's eyes shifted between all of them. They stopped at Tatum, who had sat Octavia down on a log because her leg was hurting. "What the hell happened out there?"

"We were attacked."

He narrowed his eyes. "Attacked? By what?"

Finn shook his head. "Not what. Who," he corrected. "It turns out when the last man from the ground died on the Ark, he wasn't the last grounder."

"it's true," Clarke confirmed and looked between Wells then the rest of the camp as they listened in. "Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here. Survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive. Radiation won't kill us." She announced to the criminals.

"Yeah, only people with spears." Tatum sneered to herself.

Wells looked around the camp, his brows furrowing.
"Where's the kid with the goggles?"

"Jasper was hit and then they took him. We thought he was dead—I went back for him but he w-wasn't there," her voice cracked at the end.

Clarke looked down at her eyes locked on Wells's wrist. "Where's your wristband?" She grabbed ahold of it.

Wells pulled away and jerked his head towards Bellamy. "Ask him." He spat.

Everyone looked at Bellamy. Her expression went
dark. "How many?"

"Twenty-four and counting." Murphy was the one to answer with a smug grin.

Tatum looked his way and scoffed. "Twenty-four?" She repeated.

"We can make it twenty-five right now."

"The only thing that'll be coming off is your head—"

Finn quickly held her back before she could charge at him. "Whoa, easy now."

"Careful everybody, Adler's coming for more blood!" Murphy continued to taunt her, finding it hilarious the way her eyes turned murderous at him.

She sneered in his direction. His comment made people talk and they looked at her like they always did. She was Tatum Adler, a murder. A monster on the hill. And yet she tried so hard to act like it didn't bother her.

"You idiots," Clarke exhaled and looked at everyone in camp. "Life support on the Ark is failing! That's why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you're not just killing them. You're killing us!" She nearly shouted.

Everyone went quiet and thought about her words.  Seeing as they might be agreeing with her, Bellamy stepped forward. "We're stronger than you think. Don't listen to her!" He shouted to everyone. "She's one of the privileged. If they come down, she'll have it good. How many of you can say the same?"

Tatum stared at her wristband. He was partially right, is what she thought. Clarke and Wells would be fine if anything happened. She didn't have anyone on the Ark. Both her parents were dead and she was considered a murderer. Nobody would help her.

"We can take care of ourselves. That wristband on your arm? It makes you a prisoner. We are not prisoners anymore! They say they'll forgive your crimes. I say you're not criminals! You're fighters, survivors!"  Bellamy chanted. "The grounders should worry about us!"

The camp full of delinquents roared at his speech.  Tatum rolled her eyes. None of it was important right now. The only important thing was getting Jasper back and she would do anything to make that happen.

Everyone started to clear out. Tatum realized she was still standing there, deep in her own thoughts, until her eyes locked with Bellamy. They didn't look away from each other until someone shouted her name. "TATUM!" It was Clarke. Tatum looked away from Bellamy and scurried off to find where they were at.

Tatum laced up her black boots and shrugged off her black leather jacket, leaving her in a grey tank top with another white one underneath. She had a black hair tie on her wrist just in case. Finn stood above her and watched her tie her boots. "Tate, are you sure you should be going?" He questioned.

She looked up at him like he was stupid. "He's my best friend, Finn. He's out there hurt, alone, and probably terrified. So yeah, i'm going."

He released a sigh. "I just don't want you to get hurt. You've been through a lot, y'know. . ."

Tatum looked up from her boots again. "Of course I know, Finn. lived through it." She stood from the log she was sitting on. "It doesn't mean I'm incapable of saving my friends. I'm going. End of story."

She breezed past him and walked into the drop ship.  Clarke was adjusting her pack over her shoulder while Wells and Monty stood by her. "Everyone ready?" She huffed.

Clarke faced her and nodded. "Yep." She confirmed and turned to Finn. "Ready, Finn?"

"I'm not going anywhere and neither should any of you," he stated. "That spear was thrown with pinpoint accuracy from 300 feet."

Tatum gave him a sarcastic smile. "Great, you know your physics. What's your point? You just want to let Jasper die? Fuck that." She spat the last sentence.

Clarke was visibly angry like she was. "Spacewalker?  What a joke. You think you're such an adventurer? You're really just a coward."

Finn shook his head at their angry spats. "It's not an adventure, Clarke. It's a suicide mission." He contradicted.

She shook her head and moved past him without another word. Tatum followed her actions and didn't spare him a glance. She loved Finn. He was like another brother to her but he held a certain god complex to him that really got under her skin. She didn't know why he was so adamant to leave Jasper behind. 

"Tatum," Clarke broke her from her thoughts. She blinked to see the blonde girl standing in front of her. "I know you don't really like me or anyone here for that matter, but, I need your help."

She raised an eyebrow. "What would that be?"

"I need you to talk Bellamy into coming with us."

"Mr.  motivational speaker?" Tatum scoffed. "No way." She started walking off.

Clarke quickly stopped her. "Tatum, this is about Jasper. I know how much you want to save him. But we can't do this without Bellamy." She tried to convince her.

Her blue eyes bored into Clarke's, her eyes also blue. Tatum was about an inch or two taller than her. Her face was flat and she swirled her tongue in her mouth in thought. After realizing Clarke was right, she huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, okay, whatever. But i'm not promising I won't punch him in the face if he pops an attitude."

Clarke formed a grin. "I wouldn't expect anything less." 

Bellamy was crouched in front of Octavia, tending to her wound. He pressed a wet cloth to her leg and she hissed in pain. "The others said it looked like a giant snake," she told him with a slight laugh as she explained what happened at the river.

"You could have been killed." Bellamy stated, not finding it funny.

"But I wasn't. If Jasper and Tatum didn't jump in and save me, I would have been."

He paused his tending and looked her in the eyes. "Tatum saved you too?" He questioned.

Octavia nodded. "Yeah, she's really not that bad once you get to know her. We're actually good friends now." She said and grew a smile.

Bellamy furrowed his brows in confusion. "It doesn't bother you that she killed someone? Her boyfriend of all people?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know the whole story.  Nobody does. All I know is she saved me and she helped me and she doesn't care that i'm the girl under the floor. So no, I don't care what she did. . . You should try getting to know her."

"I don't think she likes me."

"She doesn't like anybody. You just have to give her a chance."

Before he could respond, the sound of footsteps made him turn his head to see the said girl walking up to them. She was no longer wearing her jacket and instead exposing her long and sun kissed arms that held small, faded scars on them. "You guys leaving too? I'm coming." Octavia said and tried standing up.

Bellamy quickly looked at her again. "No, no way. Not again." He protested.

"He's right, Via," said Tatum gently. "Your leg would slow us down." She looked at Bellamy. "I'm here for you."

From far behind them, Wells stood with Clarke and the others as they watched the interaction. "This should be good." Finn muttered with his arms crossed.

Bellamy stood from the ground and Tatum leaned her head back considering how tall he was. She also noticed that his hair was no longer gelled back but now in messy, sweaty brown curls. She smirked. "Well, I guess I can throw the nickname hair gel out the window." She said, on the verge of flirting, but it came out as teasing.

He rolled his brown eyes. "What do you want?" He asked with an annoyed look.

Tatum straightened her posture. "I hear you have a gun."

Bellamy lifted his shirt just a bit to reveal the gun tucked under the waistband of his pants. Tatum stared longer than she should have, seeing how dark his skin really was underneath. She cleared her throat and looked back up at him. "Good. Follow me." She ordered.

She turned around to walk away but Bellamy didn't budge. "And why would I do that?"

She huffed and turned back around, seeing the smirk that grew on his lips. "Because you want them to follow you, and right now, they're thinking only one of us is scared." She informed with annoyance in her voice. "So, if you want to prove what a big and bad leader you, follow me." She walked sway, holding her ground, and she stood in front of her friends with a smirk. "He's coming."

"How'd you do it?" Questioned Wells.

Monty grinned. "She's a charmer."

"With a killer smile." Added in Finn, his lips curling into a smirk.

She sarcastically laughed. "Good one, Spacewalker."