TWENTY ONE.   what am I find not yours?

John Murphy had loved Tatum Adler since they were thirteen years old. It started out as an innocent crush, then a game of Truth or Dare happened and they kissed. But it wasn't just one kiss. It was multiple, and he slowly realized the effect she had on him. Tatum was the first person that didn't treat him like a waste of space. Her father took him in basically. She was his best friend but in his heart, his feelings for her were strong.

Maybe it was the way she smiled at him with her crooked teeth. Or the way she laughed. How she handled herself. How protective she was over him and her friends. But Murphy loved her. She was everything to him.

Then Riley came along. She fell in love with him and forgot all about him. Murphy was heartbroken. Perhaps that's why he turned so cold on her. He felt like he couldn't go to her anymore. But now they were reunited on the ground and John tried to get her back. To repair their friendship. Gain back her trust. And he thought he was doing that.

Cue Bellamy Blake, another older guy that charmed his way into her heart. Cut to John Murphy, again heartbroken, and this time, vengeful. He tightened his hands around the rope that was around Bellamy's neck. His face was burnt red from anger.

Tatum was utterly confused. "Murphy, you know I love you—"

He cut her off. "No, no you don't! Not the way I love you." He said in a fury.

"Murphy this is crazy—"

He pointed his gun again, making Bellamy go silent. "Y'know, I gotta hand it to you, Bellamy. You got 'em all fooled. They actually look up to you, almost as much as they look up to Clarke and Tatum," Murphy jeered with a dark gaze. "Yeah, well, we know the truth, don't we? You're a coward. I learned that the day you kicked the crate from beneath me."

Bellamy almost looked guilty.

"Isn't that what you said? That you were just giving people what they wanted, right?"

"I should have stopped them."

"Yeah, you should have. You should haven't listened to Tate when she begged you to stop," he spat and tears welled in his eyes. "It's a little late for that now."

"You think they're just gonna let you walk out of here?"

Murphy scratched benind his ear. "Well, I think the Princess is dead. . . and I know the King's about to die—" he pointed at Tatum over his shoulder. "And the Queen over there will unfortunately have to watch and may be next. So who's really gonna lead these people, huh?"

Tatum's blood ran cold.

"Me, that's who. And yeah, maybe i'll have to kill your grounder pounder little sister—"

Bellamy immediately kicked his leg forward in his direction, grunting angrily. Murphy quickly grabbed the rope and pulled it tightly, choking him even more.

"No, stop!" Tatum practically screamed, her vision blurring with tears. "John, please stop!"

Suddenly, a small scream was heard from under the drop ship where they were standing. Tatum looked down at the floor with wide eyes and quick breaths.

Murphy smirked. "I'm guessing that's her right now." He declared and began shooting at the floor.

"NO!"

He shot multiple fires into the metal ground and the sound echoed loudly in the room. When he was done, he lifted his head and stared directly into the girl's eyes. "Any last words for the King, Tatum?" He questioned wickedly.

Her lips quivered terribly. She looked at Bellamy, seeing his somber face, his apologetic eyes, and she cried more. "I love you."

Murphy kicked the crate. Tatum's scream echoed off the walls. Bellamy started choking and his legs swung under him. She jerked against ropes with force but it was no use. They cut into her skin, making her bleed, and Tatum continued to cry.

"Using your hands is a cheat. Mine were bound, remember?" Murphy hissed and tried grabbing Bellamy's hands.

"NO!" She screamed again. She couldn't fight anymore and she slumped over in exhaustion, but the tears kept flowing and she cried over and over again.

Bellamy managed to punch him into the face and Murphy fell to the floor. In another fit of anger, John stood up and started hitting him in the sides with the rifle. He paused when the drop ship door began to open.

"Someone help, please!" Shouted Tatum, her voice broken because of the screaming. Murphy escaped by the ladder. Bellamy was not moving. She yelled louder. "PLEASE!"

Jasper came running onto the drop ship with his rifle raised. He quickly dropped it when he saw an unmoving Bellamy and Tatum still tied to the chair. "Tatum!"

"No, no, please help him! Cut him down!" She stopped him.

Him and the other delinquents started to cut Bellamy down while others searched for Murphy. It was all hap happening so fast. She didn't even notice that she was being untied until her wrist started throbbing from the open air. The skin rubbed raw and bleeding.

"Bell, hold on!" Octavia exclaimed at the sight of her brother. She quickly unlocked the rope and Bellamy. She began undoing the noose from his neck. "Breathe, Bellamy, breathe!"

Jasper stood over him. "Come on, can you breathe?" After a minute or two, raspy breaths came from the man. "Raven, he's fine!" He shouted out loud.

Tatum shot out of the chair and dropped to her knees by them. "Bellamy!"

But when his eyes opened, the only thing Bellamy seen was red. "Murphy!" He exclaimed and scrambled to his feet.

But all he could feel was anger. "Murphy!" He exclaimed in a fury and scrambled to his feet. He climbed up the ladder to the second floor, where Murphy'd bolted the latch shut. "Murphy, it's over!Murphy! Murphy! There's only one way out of this for you now!"

Tatum's legs felt weak under her. Jasper noticed her state and quickly grabbed her arms before she fell. "Tate." She hugged him tightly, her cries muffled again his shirt. "It's okay. It's over now."

There was suddenly a loud explosion that came from the second level. Bellamy was finally able to break through the latch. "Murphy!" He yelled again and climbed up through the latch.

Jasper followed him up the ladder. Octavia took his place. "I'm so sorry, Tatum." She muttered and hugged her tightly.

"I watched Murphy hang him, Via, and I couldn't do anything. I'm so sorry—"

Octavia cut off her stutters. "Don't be sorry, Tatum. Don't ever be sorry."

"I thought I lost him."

"You didn't. He would never leave us that easily."

On the second level, Bellamy and Jasper watched Murphy run away into the woods from the gaping hole in the drop ship. "We're going after Clarke, Finn, and Monty." Bellamy settled. Jasper glanced at him. "You, Raven, and Tatum were right. We don't abandon our own."

Before he could do anything, Jasper grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. Tears filled his eyes. "Thank you." He whispered.

Bellamy stood in his place, feeling startled. He was never one for hugs, mostly because he never received them. Jasper pulled away smiling. "Long way from whatever the hell we want."

Bellamy half grinned. "Yeah. A long way." He said to himself. He stared out the gaping hole, deep in thought, then he looked at Jasper again. "I love her."

"You hurt her." Said Jasper.

"I didn't mean to." He shook his head. "I'm in love with her."

"Then stop wasting time." The best friend stated and patted his arm.

"All gunners, we got movement outside the south wall!" Miller voiced over the walkie talkie.

"Someone's coming!" Shouted someone from outside.

Everyone quickly exited the drop ship and followed the others. "Wait, hold your fire!" Miller yelled at everyone who had their guns. "It's Clarke and Finn! Open the gate!"

The boys quickly slid the makeshift gate open and Clarke and Finn came running inside.

"It's Clarke and Finn!"

"Hey, we heard an explosion. What happened?" Said Clarke breathlessly.

"Murphy happened." Bellamy answered with anger.

"Finn!" Tatum sprinted to him and crashed into his frame, her arms circling his neck. "I'm so sorry I've been a bitch to you. I'm so sorry!"

Finn stumbled slightly, shocked by her action, but he hugged her back. "Nothing I can't handle, Tate." He chuckled slightly and smiled, happy that the division between them was over.

"Thank god." Jasper exasperated and he hugged Clarke. "Where have you been? Where's Monty?"

She looked confused. "Monty's gone?"

"Clarke, we need to leave now. All of us do." Finn voiced. "There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen, coming for us now. We need to pack what we can and run."

"Like hell we do. We knew this was coming." Bellamy retaliated.

"Bellamy, we're not prepared." Objected Clarke.

"And they're not here yet. We still have time to get ready. Besides, where would we go?" He continued. "Where would we be safer than behind these walls?"

"There's an ocean to the East. People there will help us." The spacewalker explained.

"You saw Lincoln." Octavia acknowledged his statement.

He nodded her way. "Yeah."

"You expect us to trust a grounder?" Bellamy questioned with hostility. "A grounder that nearly killed her?" He pointed at Tatum. "This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind that wall in this ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away. They think because we came from the sky we don't belong here. But they're yet to realize one very important fact: we are on the ground now, and that means we are grounders!"

His speech caused the campers to riot with cheers. "Grounders with guns!"

"Damn right! I say let 'em come!"

"But that's doesn't change the simple fact that if we stay here, we will die tonight. So pack your things. Just take what you can carry, now." Clarke finished his speech.

"Help me!" They heard Raven shouted from a distance.

She limped into camp while holding her side. "Raven!" Tatum exclaimed and ran to her side. "Raven, what happened?"

"Murphy shot her." Said Jasper when he saw the gunshot wound.

"Get her onto the drop ship." Ordered Clarke and Finn rushed forward, picking her up bridal style and he carried her to the drop ship.

Tatum followed close behind. He placed Raven on the table. "Hey bird, it's going to be okay." She said and grabbed her hand.

"I fucking hate Murphy." She groaned in pain.

She breathed out a laugh. "Yeah, that makes all of us."

Clarke heated up a metal rod and lifted Raven's shirt. She pressed it to her bleeding wound and Raven screamed in agonizing pain. She squeezed Tatum's hand tightly, and she placed her other hand on top of it.

"That should stop the external bleeding." Informed Clarke.

"I don't understand. How did Murphy get a gun?" Finn questioned them.

Bellamy and Tatum shared a look. "Long story." They answered in unison.

"We got lucky. If Murphy hit the fuel tank instead of me, we'd all be dead." Said Raven with tired breaths.

"Well, welcome to the almost died club, Reyes." Tatum joked.

"Tate." Said Bellamy.

"Sorry."

"Wait, there's rocket fuel down there?" Clarke inquired. "Enough to build a bomb?"

Raven blinked. "Enough to build a hundred bombs. If we had any gunpowder left." She answered.

"Let's get back to the reapers." The eldest of them stated while looking at a drawing in Lincoln's book. "Maybe they'll help us. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?" He recited.

Tatum shook her head. "Not necessarily."

"Not this enemy. We saw them. Trust me, it's not an option." Clarke agreed with her.

"There's no time for this," Finn cut in. "Can she walk or not?" He asked, referring to Raven.

"No, we have to carry her."

"The hell you will. I'm good to go." Raven objected and tried sitting up.

Tatum shook her head. "No can do, Reyes."

"Hey, listen to me. That bullet is still inside you," Clarke explained to her. "If by some miracle there's no internal bleeding, it might hold until we get somewhere safe. But you are not walking here. Is that clear?"

Raven unwillingly nodded, knowing she was right.

"I'll get the stretcher." Said Finn.

"Can't run away fast enough, can't you? Real brave." Bellamy taunted and glared at him.

The spacewalker stormed back. "Dying in a fight you can't win isn't brave, Bellamy. It's stupid!" He raised his voice.

"Hey now, don't start." Tatum warned them but she was ignored.

"Spoken like very coward who's ever run from a fight."

"All right, that's enough." Clarke snapped at the same time Tatum got in between them.

"Quit acting like five-year-olds." She glared at Finn. "Especially you, cause this is how you acted at five-years-old. It's time to go."

"If they follow? It's a 120 mile walk to the ocean." Bellamy argued.

"Look, we're wasting time. If he wants to stay, he can stay."

"He can't and he's not." Tatum hissed but Finn had already left. Clarke followed after him and Tatum faced Bellamy. She grabbed his arm and dragged him with her to the back of the drop ship. "We can't do this without you, Bell."

All Bellamy did was shrug. "What do you want me to say, Tate?" He bluntly questioned.

"I want you to say that you're with us, okay?" She stated firmly. She pointed a finger behind him, referring to the outside. "Those kids out there, they listen to you."

He shook his head. "They're lining up to go. They listen to you and Clarke more. Especially you."

"Because we gave them a easy choice and they're scared to say no to me. But five minutes ago, they were willing to fight and die for you. You inspire them and you inspire me."

Bellamy's face softened. He noticed the way her eyes stared to gloss over. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked and put his hand on the side of her face.

"I thought you were going to die. And all I could do was sit there and watch. I don't want to lose you, Bellamy. So I need you to do this." Her voice broke.

"Hey," he softly said and cupped her face with both his hands. "I'm sorry you had to watch that. The whole thing had nothing to do with you. But i'm right here, okay? I'm not leaving you."

Tatum's hands wrapped around his wrists. She blinked, her eyelashes coated with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you anymore. I love you. I love you so much."

His hands seemed to tighten around her face. "Do you forgive me?" He whispered desperately.

She nodded vigorously. "Yes. Of course I do. Forever. I love you, Bellamy Blake."

Bellamy kissed her and it was like breathing in air. She invaded his lungs, cleared his airways, and she made him feel new again. She was in him. Every part of his life was consumed by her.

Symphonies circled around them and the stars beamed down above them, sighing in jealousy. He tasted of war and gunpowder. Tatum couldn't get enough. They both thought that this moment; today, yesterday, and every day before then. If they were to die right now, their souls would be satisfied and they could die peacefully.

His hands gripped her face as their lips moved together in sync like they were made to fit together. Her hands brushed into his hair and she brought him closer. Tatum never believed in beauty in self destruction until she met Bellamy. His eyes told stories with dangerous beginnings and lost endings. But she was his ending. The missing piece of the puzzle that he'd longed for.

It wasn't about anything so shallow as physically desire. They wanted each other in the way of flesh wanting to knit itself together over a wound. And they knew when death took them by the hand, they would hold each other with the other and promise to find each other in every lifetime.

It seemed so short by the time she pulled away from him. Tatum breathed heavily and leaned her head on his, their breaths mingling together. A breathy laugh left his mouth and she giggled. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, his arms going around her waist and he leaned his face into her hair. "It took you that long to say it?" Bellamy whispered to her.

She smiled at the wall in front of her. Her hand curled into the hair on the back of his neck. "You said it first." She replied smartly.

"Touché." He chuckled.