صدایں دیتے ہوئے اور خاک اڑاتے ہوئے
میں اپنے آپ سے گزرا ہوں تجھ تک آتے ہوئے

Monday - 6:21pm

Fourty five hours, thirty seven minutes and twenty one seconds after the police had handcuffed Ibrahim Yazdani, her phone rang.

Ibrahim.

Gulping, Hemayal shut her eyes tightly, bracing her heart for the storm that was about to engulf her any moment now. No doubt lingered behind the lids, no uncertainty there to steady her wrecked heart in this existential moment.

Everything and anything evaded her the second that familiar name brightened her phone screen.

"Hello?" Hemayal said, voice small as she clutched the phone tightly to her ear.

"Hey." Ibrahim's voice reached her, a span of two days between their two momentous conversations - one that was filled with irony, secrets and lies and the other was yet to be decided but Hemayal could see the colours and she hoped for her own sake that they were those of forgiveness.

"How are you?" Hemayal asked, steeling her spine as she straightened a little in her place.

"How do you think I am?" Ibrahim questioned and Hemayal gulped, the colours dimming right before her eyes.

"Fine, I hope." Hemayal whispered, teeth grazing the lower lip mercilessly.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, baby." Ibrahim said, voice every shade of serious, and breath arrested in Hemayal's throat for a second.

Was it the term of endearment he had so frequently used before or the seriousness in his voice, bordering anger, that made her place a trembling hand right above the organ she'd done a stupid job protecting her whole life?

"Ibrahim..." Hemayal began, voice softer than it had ever been, and a small chuckle left Ibrahim's lips.

"And now she says my name." The throaty chuckle did little to lessen the tension sprawled all over the space - if only, it added to it.

Somewhere along the cold winds and harsh realities of the past days, every last grudge she had housed in her heart for Ibrahim melted away. No revenge, no animosity was left behind - only regrets and pain. And now that she had forgiven him, his words and attitude pierced right through her fragile, recovering heart.

She could handle his anger, not his hate - never that.

"Where are you?" Hemayal asked, trying to steer the conversation to neutral waters.

"Police station." The reply came and she stopped short.

"You haven't been released yet?" Hemayal asked, confused.

She had just gotten off the call with her brother who had informed her that Ibrahim had been released, all charges dropped. More information, he had refused to provide over the phone but that didn't matter. The one thing that mattered, it happened.

"I have, just some last minute formalities," he said and Hemayal nodded, lost in thought. "Might I just say, you put up a fine, fine case for me."

Pride and pain hit her square in the chest all together, both consuming, both unbearable.

"Can we meet?"

What possessed her to utter her desire, she didn't know. The only thing that crossed her mind was the urgent need to see his face - that stupid, stubbly face she hated so much, loved so much.

"You said something similar to the lines the last time we talked." Ibrahim reminded her and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"Please?" It took every last muscle in her body to utter that single word of plead.

She might have forgiven him somewhere along the cold winds that rattled her brain two nights ago, might have decided to finally move on from the love-hate relationship she'd been stuck in since forever, but she still had a heart and dignity to protect.

"Don't do this to me, Hemayal." Ibrahim's pained voice reached her across the phone and she fought the fresh bout of tears stuck in her lids.

There was something desperate in his voice - tone laced with such pain that it almost felt physical. Stabbing, acute pain in both their hearts - eyes closing to block out all the memories of all the places they'd gone wrong.

"I'm trying." She said, lips clenched tightly, face pale.

"Do you know where I live?" Ibrahim asked after a second, voice soft this time and after receiving a positive answer, continued.

"Come."

And a small smile lifted one corner of Hemayal Khakwani's mouth as she ended the call - all hope was not lost, after all.

|¤¤¤|

7:50pm

The clouds promised rain; the storm brewing in the sky and emotions in her soul. With a heavy heart, she crossed the threshold and entered the apartment building, mouth parched. With slow and unsure steps, she approached the reception desk.

Why had her nerve chosen this moment to desert her, she didn't know but one thing was certain - fear and tension had tightened her stomach and no amount of air seemed to reach her lungs.

"Assalam-u-Alikum, I'm Hemayal Khakwani...umm...I have to meet Ibrahim Yazdani." Hemayal said, trying to breathe through the tension, hoping to dull at least a little of her nervousness that had seemed to be a constant in her blood ever since a possible future encounter with that man had registered in her brain.

"Yes, Ma'am," the receptionist said, casting a quick glance between her and the computer. "Mr. Yazdani called a few moments earlier, said to let you in when you come."

Nodding, Hemayal thanked the receptionist and turned after being informed of his floor and apartment number, before a thought crossed her mind and she faced the receptionist again.

"Is he here yet?" She asked, eyes narrowed in anticipation.

"I am now." His voice called from behind and Hemayal's limbs froze, mind wiped out clean for a second before she turned in her place.

And there he stood, in all his magnetic charm and elegant stature, looking at her with serious eyes and a frown displacing his lips. Tired, drained and utterly defeated but oh, so beautiful she couldn't take her eyes away from him for a second.

"Hey." Hemayal tried to smile but failed miserably when his frown only deepened, her heart in a state of arrhythmia.

"You drove here alone?" He asked instead and Hemayal nodded silently.

Ibrahim opened his mouth to reply, probably to reprimand her again for driving alone at night, but thought better of it, shutting it tightly before gesturing her forward towards the elevator. Turning, a part of her wished he had said a word, if only a curse, to let her know he still cared but this silence of his pierced right through her already broken heart.

Entering the elevator behind her, Ibrahim entered the floor in the pad and occupied a position at the corner of the box, Hemayal left standing in the centre with pressed lips. Daring a glance at him through the wall mirror, she found him leaning against the back, eyes closed while his fingers massaged the knots in his forehead.

In all the time Hemayal had known him, she had never once seen him out of character - his attire always on point, manners always to perfection. But now, he lacked a little of both - two nights in police station having taken a toll on his grace and eloquence.

"Where's your family? Lala?" Hemayal asked and saw through the mirror as Ibrahim opened his eyes slowly, raising his head to look at her straight through the glass.

The two brown eyes clashed, the intensity in both of them blinding and heart wrenching, and Hemayal had to tear hers apart if she ever hoped to survive through the evening. Eye contacts with him had always been dangerous, but now they bordered insanity, what with his bloodshot eyes and her broken stares.

"They'll be here in a while. Baba, Mustafa. Your brother went home." Ibrahim said slowly, still looking at the woman who stared down at her feet intently.

Mustafa. Oh, she hoped to God she didn't share another encounter with him. His harsh words, cold shouts and parting threat still lingered at the back of her head and a repeat so soon wouldn't be handled well by her heart.

"I heard about your mother, I'm sorry."

Hemayal raised her head to look up at him, Mustafa suddenly reminding her of Ibrahim's mother in hospital, and found him looking at her with head tilted to the side and eyes leisurely capturing her features.

Despite being caught, Ibrahim didn't look away and this time, Hemayal couldn't either.

"Are you?" Ibrahim asked, eyes narrowing in the slightest in disbelief and Hemayal straightened in her place a little.

Ah, the double meanings.

"About your mother, yes." Hemayal answered, the diplomatic answer and Ibrahim scoffed, breaking the stare.

The elevator door opened with a hiss and Hemayal exited into a small foyer, closely followed by the man whose gait was unhurried, steps tired. By the looks of it, the floor only had a single apartment to the right, and stopping by the door she waited for Ibrahim to unlock.

"After you." Ibrahim murmured after opening the door and Hemayal entered with a polite thank you.

Home.

That was the first thought that entered her mind as soon as her eyes registered the sprawling apartment, decor of brown and white adorning the lounge with an open kitchen to the west, a floor-to-ceiling window covering the entire east wall. Furniture complimented the colours of the house, posh but welcoming, lush but warm.

"You have a beautiful house." Hemayal said as she walked deeper into the house, her eyes crashing against the artistic walls.

"And a freakin' ugly life." Ibrahim murmured as he went past her and into the kitchen and Hemayal stopped short in her place, sudden pain shooting through her at his words.

"A simple thank you would have been enough." The brown-haired woman said after a second, gathering her wits and adding concrete to her spine and Ibrahim cast her a look from the kitchen as he downed on the water, shaking his head in the process.

"You want some?" Approaching her, he asked but Hemayal only shook her head.

"Ibrahim...I..." Hemayal began, finally finding the courage to address the major issue in the room but Ibrahim effectively silenced her with a sigh and a shake, turning around in his place to go towards the music player placed by the television, and a second later, a soft tune began to hum in the air.

♪ I was wrong when I hurt you
   Did you have to hurt me too?
   Did you think revenge will make it better?

"Dance with me." Hemayal's shock hadn't yet receded as she heard the old classic, the lyrics hitting right at home when Ibrahim came to stand directly in front of her, too close for her erratic heart.

"Ibrahim..." Hemayal whimpered softly as she bit her lips, tears already gathering in her eyes.

"Please." Ibrahim said, offering her his hand and something in his eyes compelled Hemayal to finally place her hand in his, her heart in a state of fibrillation.

Placing an arm around her waist, Ibrahim guided Hemayal's arms around his neck. Staring into the brown orbs of hers with intensity Hemayal hadn't seen there before, Ibrahim moved them to the tune. So close, so distant.

♪ I don't care about the past
    I just want a love to last
    There's a way to bring us back together

Slow dancing to the song that told their story, Hemayal felt tears salting her eyes like never before - not like when her mother died, or when her father abandoned her, not even like when Dadu died. This pain was a different kind of pain - one laced with horrors, what ifs and regrets - so many of them.

"Why did you do it?" Ibrahim asked, peering down into her eyes with a grieved expression marking his features.

"I had to." Hemayal answered as she slowly moved with him, sorrow finding refuge in her eyes.

"You just can't forgive me, can you?" Ibrahim asked as he placed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as if in pain.

"I have now." Hemayal whispered, her own lids dropping as she caught the end of his hair between her fingers, the spikes a reminder of reality.

♪ Out of all the good we had
   You only keep track of the bad

Another lyrics, another pain as a million memories shot through her mind.

"Now? What good is now?" Ibrahim opened his eyes and moved his head away, not yet abandoning his hold on her waist despite halting the slow dance.

"Now is better than never." Hemayal answered, lips turning up in a soft whimper as a soft chuckle left Ibrahim's lips and an arrow found itself lodged in Hemayal's heart.

"Is it or is it just convenient to forgive me, now that you've taken your revenge?" Ibrahim asked, no mercy in his voice and Hemayal brought her head down, defeated.

"The whys of my doing are not questionable, Ibrahim. The hows can be but now whys. You know why." Hemayal answered as the music still played in the background, thankfully nearing its end now.

"Yeah, I know. Because you loved a dead man more than you valued an alive one." Ibrahim stated, a sad smile ghosting his lips.

"No, because that dead man was all I had and when he was taken away from me, somebody had to bear the burnt. Unfortunately, it was you." Hemayal replied, as truthful as she can get just as the same song started again, generating an inward curse from her.

"You had me." Ibrahim said, eyes sad.

"No, I didn't." Hemayal said, smile sad.

♪ Didn't anyone tell you yet?
   To forgive is to forget.

"The answer to my kidnapping was not humiliating me in front of an entire world, Hemayal." Ibrahim said, finally releasing her from his hold and every muscle of Hemayal ached to be back in the cage of his arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." Hemayal said, clenching her jaw tightly but the first tear still managed to escape her eyes and roll down her flushed cheek.

"You're sorry?" Ibrahim asked, a throaty chuckle vibrating his chest as he moved back and took a place by the window, staring out with exhaustion filling his bones.

"I am sorry. Things got out of hand." Hemayal said as she leaned against the glass window, forehead coming to rest against the cold glass.

"Do you know what it feels now?" Ibrahim asked, turning a little to cast a her a glance, a haunted expression dancing on his face. "To ruin someone's life to the point of no return, hurt them in an unimaginable way, but all you can offer is an apology in return?"

At that, tears flowed freely and this time, Hemayal didn't even try to count them.

Was that how he'd always felt with Hemayal? Regrets marring his every breath; sorrow wounding his soul? Having realized that he had caused her immense pain but not having the power to change the past?

"What happens now if I don't forgive you, Hemayal?" Ibrahim asked, his tone one she had never heard before, eyes downcast. "Do we get a repeat of these past few months, with our positions reversed now? But you know, something tells me that you can never be as patient as I was, bearing every insult you threw at me just because I thought you were in the right."

"I went a bit overboard, I agree." Hemayal said, heart stopping at the way he talked about not forgiving her.

All the way here, she had thought of every notion of their conversation - the anger, resentment, regrets - but the thought that he might not forgive her had never once crossed her thought. He would be angry with her for sure, but she also knew that he would eventually forgive her.

What if he doesn't?

What if he decides to follow Hemayal's way?

"A bit?" Ibrahim scoffed and Hemayal began to approach him slowly but his hand in the air stopped her in her tracks.

"Okay, a lot, but I didn't know what else to do, Ibrahim." She said as the lyrics of the song playing in the background cut into her again.

♪  Cause there's no sense
     In going over and over
    The same things as before

"You could have forgiven me." Ibrahim said, leaning back against the glass panel, his stature broken.

"Just because you were my husband?" Hemayal asked, incredulous.

"No, because I begged for your forgiveness," Ibrahim said and Hemayal bit on her lower lip - anxiety clutching her insides. "Why didn't that mean anything?"

"It did, it meant a lot, but whenever I thought of forgiving you, it felt like I was betraying Dadu," Hemayal said, nothing but truth in her voice, as she approached him slowly despite his sharp exhale of breath. "I wanted to forgive you, I just didn't know how to."

Placing a trembling, cautious hand right over his heart, she looked deep in his eyes, tears having left her face swollen and crimson, expecting a rejection any second.

It didn't come.

Slowly, fearfully, Ibrahim gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing before he closed his eyes and dropped his head. Forehead resting against her shoulder in defeat, he breathed heavily.

♪ I must forgive you
   And you must forgive me too
   It's the only thing that's left
   That we haven't try to do

"I want to forgive you." Ibrahim mumbled after a while, and Hemayal whose shoulders was numbing under the weight of him, closed her eyes as wave after wave of relief crashed over her.

"You don't know how to?" She whispered, voice small and he pulled back, eyes distant as he gazed into hers.

"I know how to but I don't know if I should." He answered, nothing but truth in his voice and despite her insides breaking, she nodded in understanding.

"If you choose not to, I'll understand." Hemayal replied, cutting on her lip fiercely as she took a step back - the distant idea that Ibrahim might never forgive her too painful to bear.

Suddenly, Ibrahim's hand shot out and he grabbed her wrist in his hold, halting her retreating figure. With a pull she didn't expect, he brought her close to him, their fronts flushing together and an audible gasp left her lips as her eyes widened, hands flying to his bicep to steady her form.

"Didn't you hear me? I want to forgive you." Ibrahim murmured, dropping his forehead against hers as he tightened his hold around her waist.

"But will you ever?" She said, dropping her eyes close as she snuggled close into the warmth he provided.

God, how long she had craved this warmth for.

"I will, eventually. If forgiving you is what it takes to have you, I will do that a thousand times and more." Ibrahim said and goosebumps erupted all over her body.

He was forgiving her.

Despite her revenge and manipulation and plotting, he was still willing to forgive her in a heartbeat. Hemayal couldn't wrap her mind around the concept that he could forgive her - no questions asked, no revenge extracted.

"Why?" Hemayal asked, bewildered.

"Because I once promised you that I will give you your share of happiness." Ibrahim mumbled softly, rubbing slow circles on her back and shiver wrecked her spine.

Relieved after a lifetime of miseries and aches, she dropped her head on his chest, closing her eyes as the storm silently passed away. Peace gushed inside her, its quality magnificent, its quantity tremendous.

♪ I must forgive you
   You must forgive me too
   If we wanna try to put things back
   The way they used to be

"Can you please turn off this song?" Eons later, Hemayal said, pressing her face deeper into his dress shirt as the song came back into the focus after the tension had ebbed away.

"It suits you." He remarked as he let her go, muct to her reluctance, and moved towards the music player.

"It suits us." Hemayal replied.

"Hemayal?" Ibrahim said silently, as he turned to face her again, a distance of a good few meters between them.

Yeah?" Hemayal murmured, staring into the brown pool of his with wonder.

"I look forward to going to that beach." He remarked softly, and a fresh pair of tears cascaded down her cheeks - this time of gratitude.

♪ So, let's not bring the past back anymore

|¤¤¤|

And finally they've forgiven each other!

How was the chapter? Do vote and comment!

Till next time,
Salam!