" how many scars did we justify just because we loved the person holding the knife? "

Monday - 11:54pm

"Hami, do you really think he did it?" Mehmal's voice was troubled; Hemayal's heart in the same condition. 

"I...I don't know, Mehmal," Hemayal's voice was hollow, stunned and every shade in between. "But only he knew about that man...only he...oh, God." 

Hemayal took a breath that shivered, mouth dry at the mere thought of even a minor possibility of Ibrahim being involved in this murder. Placing her palm over her head, she begged for an end to the anxiety that resided in her, tension that tightened her stomach into knots.

"Are you sure you didn't tell anyone else?" Mehmal questioned and Hemayal shook her head, eyes at the verge of crying from desperation. 

"No, no. Not a soul. Only him." Hemayal said, massaging her forehead to ease the brewing headache; eyes clenched so hard, they pained.

After her father had told her about the murder, a shock so painful it physically hurt hit her right in the chest. An hour had passed and the bewilder hadn't dimmed, not by an inch.

"Okay, okay, relax, will you? Even if you just told him, it doesn't mean he did it now, does it? That man...Anas...I'm sure he carried out a lot of kidnappings before. Someone from his past might have-" Mehmal reasoned and Hemayal caught her shivering lips beneath her teeth.

"The second Baba finds him, he dies. Of course it has to do with his latest kidnapping." Hemayal said, voice small.

"So? It really doesn't mean anything, Hami. I'm sure-" Mehmal began but Hemayal was quick to cut her off.

"Don't you get it, Mehmal? I am the work gone wrong; Baba hunting after that man is what went wrong." Hemayal seethed, the knots behind her forehead blinding her as her anxiety increased in magnitude. 

"Hami...love...you can't blame someone for murder just because initial investigation points towards him. Innocent until proven guilty, remember?" Mehmal talked sense, Hemayal knew it - but this incident, this was a blow right to her heart and all sense had evaded her by now.

"You don't trust him, I get it. You might even hate him for now but please, this is murder we're talking about. Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions." Mehmal continued and Hemayal sighed.

"You're right, I know, but he has a motive, Mehmal. He can be the murderer and the mere thought makes me wanna drop to my knees." Hemayal said, tears escaping the eyes and falling voluminously down the crimson cheeks.

"Okay, he might have a motive, but he has an alibi too, no? He was with you that night." Mehmal reminded her and Hemayal shook her head.

"Not for the whole night. He came around midnight and stayed for like half an hour." Hemayal responded, trying and failing to control the hiccups that wrecked her body.

Of all the people in this world, why did her stupid heart have to fall for someone who was every shade of ignorant and arrogant, a kidnapper and now a murder suspect? 

"But do you really think that after everything he did for you that night, he'd go off afterwards and kill someone? What kind of a sick bastard do you think he is?" Mehmal, somehow, was defending Ibrahim and her reasons, however sensible they may be, couldn't cross the barriers of her mind.

"But, Mehmal..." Hemayal began, trying to fight Mehmal's logic but failing miserably. 

"Look, Hemayal, stop being the judge and jury for him. God knows it'll only end up hurting you more. The pain life gives you, I get it, but this time, you're hurting yourself and for no logical reason at that. Do you get what I'm saying?" Mehmal went on to explain, her voice soft and gentle, tone understanding and Hemayal felt a fresh wave of water surface her eyes.

"No." Hemayal hiccuped and Mehmal sighed at the other end.

"See, this is what I'm talking about. You're in pain right now but what for? For something that's just a mere possibility at the moment? For something he might have nothing to do with? Hemayal, my love, you're ruining yourself." Mehmal's voice softened at the end, the gentle tone urging her to understand but when it came to Ibrahim Yazdani, every colour of emotion and bias painted her soul.

"So, I should pretend like nothing is wrong until everything's confirmed?" Hemayal asked, regaining a bit of sense and control over the dam that had been previously unleashed. 

"Maybe, if that helps you," Hemayal could feel Mehmal shrugging at the other end. "Or you could talk to him, clear everything up."

"No, thank you," Hemayal rolled her eyes, the headache intensifying. "I can already hear all the excuses he'll come up with."

"Excuses and explanations are two different things, Hami. I thought you could tell them apart." Mehmal said.

"When it comes to that man, you know I can't." Hemayal confessed and a heavy silence fell upon the line.

"So, what'll you do?" Mehmal probed and Hemayal finally opened her eyes - bloodshot and pained eyes - and fixed them on the wall ahead.

"Mehmal..." Hemayal whispered and Mehmal knew that moment that trouble had finally knocked their door.

"Hami...what are you thinking?" She asked.

"I'm going to execute my plan." Hemayal said, mind made and gaze determined.

"Hami..." Mehmal didn't know the right words - and even if she did, she knew the other woman wouldn't listen.

When it came to Ibrahim Yazdani, Hemayal Khakwani rarely ever listened to anyone else.

"You know, I think I've been going soft on him. After my breakdown the other night, I actually thought that if all of this planning and hatred is worth destroying my peace of mind over. I actually thought of forgiving him. Deep, deep down. Can you believe that?" Hemayal's voice wasn't hard, it was soft and gentle but the demons that resided there made a shiver slither up Mehmal's spine.

"Yes, I can. You love him." Mehmal's voice was terrorized - only because she knew her cousin, knew the devils that slept in her mind.

"Is love a good enough reason to forgive someone, Mehmal?" Hemayal asked, brows creased. 

"Love, I don't know, but one's own peace is a very good reason to forgive someone." Mehmal replied and Hemayal chuckled, a sad and hollow laugh that filled her eyes with water.

"You once said that I should never forgive him for what he did." Hemayal said, eyes still fixed far ahead at a point that had lost its meaning by now.

"That was before I saw what this revenge was doing to you. Forget everything, Hami. Dadu's dead but you're still alive, he's still alive - have some mercy on the two of you." Mehmal said and a small laugh filled her eyes again.

"Forget everything, you say," Hemayal scoffed - half laugh, half sob. "How would I ever look at myself in the eye again if I don't make him pay for taking Dadu away from me? You don't understand, Mehmal. I can't forgive him, even if I want to." 

"So you're going to execute your plan, now? Just because you think he killed a man?" Mehmal asked, voice hard.

"I don't know if he did it or not, the killing. And you're right, I can't accuse him of murder without any proof. You're right." Hemayal said, mind racing and aching at the same time.

"So? If you don't think he is a murderer, why this sudden decision to carry out the plan?" Mehmal questioned, curious and bewildered.

"If I tell you something, will you believe me?" Hemayal asked.

"Always." Mehmal replied gently.

"I want it done with as soon as I can; I want to breathe fresh air without the thoughts of him and the revenge weighing me down. And after this murder, this need is more pressing than ever. I want normalcy, Mehmal. Is that too much to ask for?" Hemayal asked, voice lost and unfocused, gaze wandering.

"I get it, I get you. But I have to warn you, Hami, if you do this, things will never be the same between you two." Mehmal said and Hemayal let out a deep sigh.

"That's the thing I want - same is bad, same is killing me right now. I want things to move on, even for the worse. I just want to get out of this." Hemayal said and Mehmal finally understood.

"You should know the consequences." Mehmal warned again, a desperate attempt to protect her cousin.

"I know the consequences will be bad, but how bad can they be compared to the present?" Hemayal's pained voice reached Mehmal and her own beat skipped in ache. "I'll carry out my plan, find in me to forget him and move on. That's the only thing left to do."

As Hemayal said those words, Mehmal realized an astounding reality, this time Hemayal wasn't trying to avenge her grandfather, she was fighting for her own self, her own peace of mind. 

And this time, there was no escaping for Ibrahim Yazdani.

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Friday - 6:23pm

The winter sun had descended a while ago and now, only harsh wind and cold night seemed to sprawl across the land. Just as the weather promised rain; the silence, storm.

With call engaged, Hemayal Khakwani conversed with the man, heart gone into an arrhythmia despite the calm that had settled in her voice.

"Are you...are you serious?" Ibrahim's shocked voice fluttered her heart but she kept her cool - this was the moment all her heartache had been building towards; all her agony lead to - she wouldn't destroy it.

A week had almost passed since the night she decided to go forward with her plan - a week of plotting, tactics and plans but also a week of pain, ache and agony.

"I am." She whispered, eyes shut tightly, closed at the impending doom waiting for them both.

"You...you can forgive me?" The hope in his voice killed her a little, heart crumbling.

"I think I can." The brown-haired woman hardened her voice, refusing to let emotions sway her this time.

"I can't...I can't believe it. How?" She could feel the bewilder in his voice, the happiness and joy there.

Oh, God. What was she going to do?

"I just think it's time. I might never be able to forgive you for what happened to Dadu but at least I can give you an inch." Hemayal said, surprised at how true her words sounded even to herself.

"I can do with an inch." He whispered from the other side and a sharp breath left her lips - pained.

"You can?" Her voice was a murmur, a soft one silencing the storm brewing in her head - if only for a moment. 

"With you, baby, an inch is all I want." Ibrahim's word reached her and the organ she'd done a stupid job of protecting her whole life crumbled.

It was these words - his randomly stated, careless words - that made her heart skip a beat so effortlessly. And it always seemed ironic to her how words were his forté while she was supposed to be the one who used that medium for a living.

"Hemayal?" He asked after a long pause and Hemayal pressed her lips.

The man could shatter her resolve with every endearment out there but nothing affected her heart the way the sound of her name on his lips did.

"Yeah?" She mumbled.

"Does it have anything to do with the whole agreement thing I told you last Monday?" Ibrahim was a smart man - she could give him that - and although his better sense was clouded by his emotions at the moment, he could still see through the creaks, and it were these creaks that worried her.

"No," she went on to deny quickly. "Nothing at all. I just came to realise that all of this was taking a toll on my own health and mind." 

A partial truth; a white lie.

"Can we meet, Hemayal?" Ibrahim asked, voice anxious now.

"Now?" She whispered, closing her eyes at the thought of her plan going too perfectly, knots tightening in her stomach. 

God, the dilemma of loving and hating someone at the same time. 

"Yes, if that's okay for you." Ibrahim quickly said and she smiled sadly at his thoughtfulness. 

"It is." She responded, anxiety building in her head with each tick of the clock.

"I'm in Abbottabad at the moment, it'll take me probably an hour or two to reach your home." He said and Hemayal could hear shuffling at the other side, could feel his impatience to get to her. 

"No, don't come here." she hurriedly said, "I want to meet somewhere else." 

"Okay, where?" Ibrahim asked, as accommodating as ever.

"The Motel where you took me." Hemayal said, voice low and a deafening silence engulfed the line.

"Hemayal...I don't think that's a good..." Ibrahim's unsure voice reached her and she sighed.

"I want a fresh start, Ibrahim. Let's start where everything went wrong." She said and gave her explanation, hoping he wouldn't question.

"Alright," he didn't, and she exhaled heavily. "Do you know the address?" 

"I think I do." Hemayal responded in affirmative. 

"I'll send you the coordinates anyway but have your driver bring you here. It's a long ride and I don't like the thought of you driving alone in this weather." Ibrahim said, voice softer than silk and Hemayal choked on the emotions that rose in her. 

"Sure." She replied before ending the call.

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Friday - 8:23pm

Warmth.

Spread around her like cocoon, she exhaled heavily at the feeling of coffee in her hands, bed beneath her, darkness around her. Somehow, fighting with herself over the past few hours was effective - an unprecedented calm having settled over her soul now.

How long it would remain, she didn't know but she was going to bathe in it however long it lasted. 

It didn't last long.

"Hemayal!" Anisha Bhabi's harsh and terrified voice reached her from afar the next second and she closed her eyes, bracing herself for the inevitable.

It was time.

Pushing the covers away, she wrapped a shawl around her frame before heading towards the door but it was pushed open before she could reach it. A panting, panic-stricken woman greeted her and she knew the deed was done.

Ibrahim Yazdani had paid.

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