"The risk of falling in love is knowing gravity doesn't catch us all."

Sunday - 8:31pm

"Baba, for the last time, I didn't know who the man was." Hemayal's exasperated voice rang in the lounge of her house, filled with every last ounce of annoyance and irritation.

The Sunday evening was nearing the midnight, the weekend coming to an end and what Hemayal had been informed about previous Friday was coming true as she sat on the couch, facing her father who regarded her with an annoyed expression of his own.

"You saw no human being there?" Shahriyar Khakwani questioned, eyes narrowing as wariness flooded his irises.

"I saw but they were all wearing masks," Hemayal replied, a lie she felt no shame uttering for it was the bitter truth of her life - the Ibrahim Yazdani she encountered that night was wearing all the masks of impulsiveness, irrationality and disbelief. "And when they weren't, I was blindfolded."

Then again, this was the truth for she was blindfolded in her trust for that man; not willing to see that Ibrahim Yazdani could hurt her; not believing any reality life threw at her. Oh, she was blindfolded all right.

"Hami, please," Baba almost begged as he took a seat on the center table placed in front of the couch she was seated on and Allah, her heart missed so many beats as she stared at her father who addressed her with such desperation and worry in his voice. "Remember something, anything would do. I've tried every possible mean to try to locate the men but they've like disappeared in thin air. Please, try to remember something."

Hemayal stared at her father whose forehead was laced with worry and apprehension and eyes narrowed as if they'd seen the worst and Hemayal couldn't seem to breathe as she stared at him.

Who was this man?

Where was her father?

And she was still caught in the whirl of emotions and disbelief when Baba leaned forward and what he did next second robbed Hemayal of her very breath, her pupils dilating as senses evaded her for Hemayal's father had just taken her hands in his own; forcing her to look at the man who hadn't touched Hemayal with such care and affection since nine years.

Nine goddamn years.

Feeling the warmth of her father's hand enter her blood, Hemayal couldn't move an inch of her; the only power left in her was to stare at him, irises not believing the concern they saw on his face; mind begging her to pull her hand away but her heart, oh her dear heart wanted to still the time and Hemayal Khakwani who was notorious for not giving much importance to her heart bowed her head in front of it now.

"Do you remember something - people, place, surrounding - anything would do," he tightened his hold on her hand and Hemayal felt a shiver run down her spine, "Do you remember how long it took you to get back? Where they took you? Was it very far?"

"Yes, I...I remember about...a man..." Hemayal said, nodding her head as if in a trance and the sudden peace and happiness that rushed to her father's face made her heart quiver. "A...a man came to say I could go. He wasn't wearing any mask and I wasn't blindfolded either."

No, the information didn't come to her just now for the face of that man was swirling in her mind for quite some time now but previously she had decided to not tell Baba about it; mainly for the same reason that she decided not to tell him about Ibrahim - Ibrahim was her business now and only she would decide how to make him pay for the night's events or to get back at him.

She knew that the moment she'd utter Ibrahim's name, all hell would break loose and Baba and Lala wouldn't rest until he paid, or maybe they'd just forgive him - after all, he was her husband despite everything. But no, she couldn't let that happen. Even if they decided to make him pay, they would only think about kidnapping; nothing else would matter then.

But Hemayal hardly cared about the kidnapping. For her, that hold on her neck was way more torturous than any event that happened that night; she had to get back at him for not listening to her when she spoke, for physically manhandling her that night and Allah, she had to make him pay for Dadu's death.

Lala and Baba would let him get away so easily; she won't.

But all her plans of not letting any information slip through her fingers when her father caught her hand and she was deemed powerless for after all, nine years is a long, long time.

"Oh, thank God you remembered something," Baba squeezed her hand tightly before letting it go and the moment he did, Hemayal came back to her senses with a slight shake of her head. "I'll have a sketcher over here in the morning. You can help him draw the man, right?"

The hope in Baba's eyes forced Hemayal to nod her head slowly, her own eyes not leaving Baba's face for even a second. She couldn't believe for the life of her what was happening right now but she only knew that it was utter bliss and if it was a dream, she'd like to keep sleeping for eternity.

Nine years is a long time.

"Can I go?" Hemayal whispered and Baba nodded his head with happiness that Hemayal had rarely seen in his eyes after that day - the day she was made to marry Ibrahim Yazdani.

However, she had barely reached the door when her name was called from behind and emotions shackled her feet and mist her mind for she couldn't believe the things that were transpiring this evening. Slowly turning around, Hemayal faced Baba who was now standing by the couch and stared at Hemayal with sadness.

"About what I said last Sunday, I do believe you," Baba said and for the hundredth time today, Hemayal's heart skipped a beat. "I just wanted you to stay in Abbottabad for I thought that it would prove to be good for you."

With her heart in her mouth, Hemayal managed a nod and hurried out of the room as quick as her steps would allow her. Her father was behaving strangely - way too kind than she was used to - and she couldn't comprehend anything that was happening. She could handle an ignorant and distant father; she couldn't seem to handle a loving one.

Reaching her room, she headed straight to the washroom and stopping right before the sink, she let the cold water cascade swiftly. Sprinkling her face with the ice water, she tried in vain to relax her fiery nerves but nothing seemed to work. Walking out of the washroom with water dripping down her chin to the sound of her phone ringing, Hemayal inhaled some heavy breaths to bring her thoughts in order.

She had no idea what just happened downstairs and was nowhere close to understanding it anytime soon either; might as well not think about it for a while but it was hard - especially because it was all her flaming thoughts could focus on. Allah, why is love so difficult?

Trying to focus her mind back on the phone that was ringing for the second time now, Hemayal answered the call after a mere glance at the caller ID.

Oh, the time couldn't be more perfect.

"Mehmal, what's up?" Hemayal said as she walked across her room, stopping finally by the window that opened in the backyard, staring up listlessly at the sky where no stars resided tonight and immense nothingness seemed to dominate.

"I'm up but you're about to go down, woman. Why are you not picking up my calls? It's Sunday for heaven's sake. What work do you have on a Sunday?" Mehmal had started without a break and Hemayal couldn't help the small chuckle that left her lips.

She was so glad Mehmal was part of her life.

"I was downstairs with Baba." Hemayal responded after Mehmal had finally stopped and now expected an answer.

"Oh." Mehmal silenced and this time, Hemayal let a loud laugh escape past her lips as she leaned forward, hand placed on the windowsill.

"What was he saying?" Mehmal asked and without a blink, Hemayal narrated the whole story to her - including her feelings and excluding her reactions.

It took her a good few minutes as she explained the half hour conversation she just had with her father downstairs, eyes fixed far ahead at the road behind her house which was empty and deserted except for a single car that seemed to be lifeless. Maybe someone parked it outside, Hemayal thought while speaking.

"My goodness, did he really say that?" Mehmal's shocked voice reached her and she nodded her head, her own reaction mirroring Mehmal's.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either," Hemayal sighed heavily. "It's too good to be true."

"Hemayal, he's your father. I mean, yes he can be a little ignorant sometimes but he cares about you, you can't deny that." Mehmal reasoned and Hemayal only shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what path to tread.

"He hasn't given me any reason to believe that." Hemayal responded.

"What just happened downstairs isn't a good enough reason?" Mehmal asked in an exasperated tone and Hemayal inhaled heavily.

"I don't know...after everything he's done, I don't know what to think." Hemayal replied.

True her mind stopped functioning when she saw the care in his eyes and felt the warmth in his hands but it was only temporary. And now that she thought about it after her heart had resumed its pace and her mind had begun to receive impulses, she decided that she wouldn't lower her walls too quickly.

"People should be given benefit of the doubt, Hami." Mehmal sighed and Hemayal pressed her lips.

"He's the reason I deal with trust issues, Mehmal," she said in an even tone that bordered sadness. "He's the reason I can't bring myself to forgive people so easily; to let myself too close to people."

When Mehmal's reply didn't come even after a few seconds, Hemayal breathed heavily, tilting her head to the side as she decided to drop the topic. She knew Mehmal didn't agree with a lot of her outlooks on life but she tried to respect those nevertheless and Hemayal thought it was really what mattered. As long as she didn't force Hemayal to change, everything was fine.

"Mustafa came to meet me." Hemayal said with a loud sigh after a moment and the gasp that filled her ears made a small chuckle leave her lips as her chest rumbled.

"When?" Mehmal's shriek made her laugh as her head tilted back, clearly enjoying the response her words had evoked.

"This Friday." Hemayal replied with a grin.

"And you're telling me this now? Two days later?" Mehmal's cry vibrated Hemayal's eardrums whose laugh only intensified in quality and quantity - oh the way her cheekbones rose was a whole different story all together. "I told you that Ibrahim came to me on the very same day!"

"I know, I know. But I'm sorry, I forgot." Hemayal replied with the truth.

"Anyways, what did he say?" Mehmal's excited voice reached her and she only shrugged her shoulders.

"The usual, that I should forgive his brother. Same words as his brother but a little more beautifully put." Hemayal's harsh comment filled the line with silence for a second before Mehmal's voice broke it.

"And will you?" Mehmal's voice shook for reasons Hemayal didn't understand and a frown covered her lips.

"Of course I wouldn't. Is that even a question, Mehmal?" Hemayal's exasperated tone made a sigh escape Mehmal's lips and the frown on Hemayal's face turned into a confused expression.

"Thank God. I feared you'd give in." Mehmal replied while inhaling a deep breath and a small grin broke across Hemayal's face.

Oh, she was so glad about Mehmal's existence.

"I wouldn't, Mehmal. Don't fret." Hemayal smiled warmly as she stared at the starless, black sky that housed above her head.

She had no idea how much time had passed since she'd last laughed like this - warmly and without a care in the world - but God, she did feel liberated. The few laughs that she'd shared with Mehmal had filled the hollowness inside her by a great deal and her now head felt light like never before.

"I know you don't want to but there was a time when that man meant a lot to you. I fear that one day, you might." Mehmal slow reply made Hemayal's breath come to a stop for a second before it resumed, a chuckle now filled in it.

"That was before he became the reason Dadu died." Hemayal replied with a shrug, not willing to even think of the possibility of forgiving him one day.

"Yeah, that changed everything, no?" Mehmal sighed.

"It sure did." Hemayal sighed too, a long intake of breath that disturbed something in that organ beneath her breastbone that pumped blood and aches.

"You don't love him anymore?" Mehmal asked after a moment of silence and the same filled Hemayal's insides before she closed her eyes as if in pain, scanning her heart and mind for the answer and the way her eyes opened suddenly afterwards told that she had got one.

"I love him, Mehmal, I always had," Hemayal shook her head in immense sadness as she looked straight up at the mysterious night sky. "I don't know how it started but I don't think that it will end anytime soon. I was thirteen when I first heard his name beside mine and ever since that day, his love has grown with me."

Hemayal's voice held sadness such that Mehmal had never heard before. It held nothing short of immeasurable pain; mourning at love that had given her nothing but pain; grievance after putting her heart in the feet of the man who wasn't used to looking down.

"But I heard that love doesn't give sorrow, Mehmal, it only gives joy and happiness, even in troubled times. When the love becomes a source of constant pain; that is when you should stop. And honestly, the only thing his love has given me is pain. I don't remember a single occasion where this love brought me any joy. What is this love, Mehmal? Is it really love?"

"Love has its upside downs, Hami," Mehmal said slowly. "It doesn't mean that it isn't love."

"What kind of love is it, then, Mehmal? It seems to only have downs." Hemayal sighed, attempting to find some good fortune in the sky but like her fate, there was no light there - no moon to show her the way; no stars to fill her with hope.

"That is what I was asking, Hami. Will you forgive him? You love him after all." Mehmal asked.

"I would have forgiven all, Mehmal, because that is what love does. I would have forgiven him in a heartbeat. He would have come and look me in the eye, pronounce my name and I swear to God I wouldn't have taken an instant more to forgive him. I would have buried everything somewhere inside me," Hemayal's voice was lost somewhere in the paths she didn't know how to traverse on.

"I would forgive that he forgot how I looked, that he kidnapped me, Allah, I would have even forgotten his hold on my neck. When I was returning home that morning, a small part of me hated him but an even larger part had spent all its life loving him and I knew that I would forgive him eventually. But everything changed when Dadu fell, Mehmal. It was not only he who dropped dead; it was my love, my affection for Ibrahim as well. For everything I can forgive, but for Dadu's death I just can't."

When Hemayal stopped, the silence became too loud and in that deafening noise, every last inch of her seemed to cry. She could never understand the greater meaning behind these events for the life of her; not understand why the man who kidnapped her had to be Ibrahim. Seven billion people in the world and it was him who caused her Dadu's death - why did life have to be so unfair? Why couldn't everything be simple and easy, what is the necessity of these complications?

"I'm sorry for the way life's treating you right now, Hami, but there's a good in everything." Mehmal replied with melancholy and Hemayal only chuckled.

"What good, Mehmal? What good? Dadu died and I don't think anything good can happen to me anymore." Hemayal replied sharply, voice shaking as the glass window witnessed water flooding the woman's eyes.

"Taya Abbu's behavior changed, no?" Mehmal replied and Hemayal took a sharp intake of breath, not believing her ears for a second.

Her father's attitude towards her had definitely changed - she had witnessed numerous instances this past week. Although she had tried to ignore them all and when she couldn't, she remained impassive to them, she could see her father trying. It was only tonight that he broke even the last wall that stood between the father and daughter but this whole week, he had been trying to build small conversations with Hemayal.

"Yes." Hemayal replied, warmth suddenly filling her as she turned her attention towards her father's behavior for the first time and the kind of peace that entered her bones was unparalleled.

"See, there's always something good in the bad times. The one we focus on decide the kind of people we are, Hami." Mehmal explained with such beauty that Hemayal couldn't form any words for the next few minutes. "Why are you telling me all of this, by the way? You never tell what's going in your mind and heart."

Mehmal inched closer towards lightening the air and thinning the effects of the dense conversation they just had. Hemayal had never been a very open person and hearing her say all this obviously startled Mehmal who wasn't used to such talks. Yes, Hemayal was closer to Mehmal than anyone else but even then she didn't share everything.

"Someone advised me to accept the truth rather than fighting it; only then will I be able to clear my head and get what I want," Hemayal replied. "This truth, of me loving him, has been bothering me for quite some time and now that I've finally accepted that I love him but can't do anything about it, I'll try to heal this ache inside me rather than trying to get rid of it. I can't throw his love out of me, but I can do whole other things."

"For example?" Mehmal chuckled as she asked.

"For example, I can start with finding his weak points; every person's got a few of them," Hemayal replied thoughtfully, eyes narrowed. "Mine was Dadu and man, he hit me exactly there."

"You have no contact with him whatsoever, how will you manage to do that?" Mehmal asked.

"I don't know but you'll come here next week, right? We'll discuss it in detail when you do." Hemayal took a long breath as she said before a thought crossed her brain, eyes gaining sparkle and she suddenly straightened in her place. "Mehmal, Danyal is still in Islamabad, right?"

"Who Danyal?" Mehmal asked.

"Your cousin, idiot," Hemayal rolled her eyes. "The one posted here in the bureau; is he still here?"

"Yeah, I think so. I haven't talked to him in a while; Ammi was saying he's going to be in Islamabad for a long time, some project thing," Mehmal responded with a shrug. "Why do you ask though?"

"Can you give me his phone number and address? I was looking for it in my phone yesterday but I think I lost it when I changed it." Hemayal replied, choosing to answer only the question that interested her, all but ignoring the latter query.

"Okay, I'll send it to you. Why are you asking, though? Is it something to do with Ibrahim?" Mehmal asked and when she reached the right place, Hemayal only sighed, dropping her head as she laughed.

"Yes, why do you know me so well?" Hemayal shook her head as she finally left the window, closing it behind her and taking a place at the edge of the bed as she talked.

"Well, it's a gift, really," Mehmal laughed before turning solemn, remembering Danyal's job suddenly. "What are you planning on doing to him?"

"I just told you I have a few things in mind but I need help and I think Danyal is the perfect person for that," Hemayal replied. "I'll tell you everything too when we meet. I don't have the energy to tell everything over the phone."

"Hami, you're scaring me," Mehmal responded from the other side and Hemayal suddenly turned silence. "Is it so serious that you need Danyal's help? He works in the bureau, after all."

"You know what, Mehmal, when he came to me that evening, he looked everything - regretful, upset, miserable, sorry - but you know one thing he wasn't?" Hemayal silenced for a moment, an attempt to invoke spirits of seriousness in their conversation. "He didn't look broken."

"You want to break that man?" Mehmal gasped loudly and a light chuckle left Hemayal's lips at the sudden and sharp response her words elicited.

"Into a million pieces." Hemayal responded after ceasing her laugh, with coldness that dropped the room's temperature by a lot more than a few degrees.

"Hemayal you're not a teenager, you're not some crappy villain in a T.V serial, you're an adult, mature woman. What are you getting yourself into?" Mehmal asked with desperation and annoyance in her tone and Hemayal smiled before falling back on the bed, lose tresses of hair spreading on the bed.

"Mehmal, I've been broken by him enough times. Not anymore. It's my turn." Hemayal responded.

"How will you do it?" Mehmal asked after a moment, almost giving up.

"I'm a psychiatrist," Hemayal chuckled as she stared up at the ceiling with a bewitching smile resting on her face. "Who can know better ways to destroy people than me?"

"You're a doctor, Hami, you help people." Mehmal gasped.

"I help people who deserve help, not some bastard who ruin my life and then show up a week later to ask if I'm okay." Hemayal responded coolly.

"You're going to play with his feelings?" Mehmal deduced and Hemayal could only laugh.

"That is if he has them and I seriously doubt that." Hemayal replied, all the memories she had of Ibrahim moving through her brain and like always, the dark always overshadowed the light ones. "But no, I'm not so cheap."

"Then what are you going to do?" Mehmal asked, giving up.

The wall ceiling lost its meaning, everything disappearing from her eyes for a second as a lone man's vision entered her irises - a tall, handsome man who spoke words so eloquently and smiled with such softness that her heart melted but whole soul was darker than the night sky outside and who killed her hopes with a single bat of his eye.

"Men are not emotional beings; I can't break him like he broke me by hurting his expectations and stuff like that," Hemayal responded after a few thoughtful moments, eyes darkening as the vision clawed at her brain. "No, I have to hit him where it hurts the most."

"Where?" Mehmal asked, voice bordering a whisper that swayed the melodies of her excited and thrilled mind.

"What do you think men like Ibrahim Yazdani value the most in this world?" Hemayal replied with a question of her own, mind racing and heart accelerating.

"Family?" Mehmal guessed and a frown touched Hemayal's lips for a second.

"Well, yes, that too but there's one more thing that they prize above all." Hemayal smiled as she waited for the right response from the other side, the curve on her lips deepening when a small gasp filled the line followed by such silence that Hemayal had never experienced before.

"What is it, Mehmal? What is it that they value?" Hemayal smiled and Mehmal responded with slight bewilderment in her voice.

"Their reputation in the society."

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What do you think Hemayal is up to? Let's hope good!

Till next time,
Salam!