I woke up groggy, disoriented, and laying on what felt like... grass?

Wait.

Grass?

Last I remembered, I was getting bodied into the floor by a knockoff Sith Lord. There was dust, blood, villain monologues—classic horror movie energy.

Now?

Birds chirping. Soft wind. Distant yelling.

And I couldn't move my fingers.

In fact... I didn't have fingers.

I opened my eyes.

Saw green.

Then white.

Then... paws.

Tiny. Fuzzy. Definitely not hands.

I froze.

Tried to scream.

What came out was a loud, pathetic squeak.

Nope. No no nope nope. Something was very wrong.

I tried to stand. My body moved all weird—back legs too strong, front legs too short, and I almost faceplanted into a rock.

And then... my nose twitched.

Involuntarily.

Because apparently, I now had a twitchy little rabbit nose.

I looked down.

Small. Fluffy. Green-tipped ears. Tail the size of a marshmallow.

I was a bunny.

I, Izuku Midoriya, protector of notebooks, consumer of All Might merch, the hopeful future Symbol of Peace... was now a ball of anxious, sentient fur.

What even is my life?!

And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, she showed up.

Heavy boots hit the grass like thunder. A tall figure came into view, backlit like some kind of chaotic battle goddess. Strong arms, windblown hair, massive ears flicking with each step.

Mirko.

THE Pro Hero Rabbit herself.

She paused when she saw me.

Brows furrowed.

I froze.

Maybe she wouldn't notice the tiny, panicking rabbit just standing there in the open.

Spoiler: she did.

She tilted her head, ears twitching, and walked closer.

"What the hell...?" she muttered.

I tried to back away slowly. Or bolt. Or teleport. Anything. But I froze like the world's most traumatized marshmallow.

She crouched beside me. "What's a bunny doin' in the middle of this mess?"

I twitched.

She looked around, eyes sharp, probably expecting some villain to come running after me. "You lost, little guy?"

She reached out.

No no no please don't—

And then she picked me up.

Scoop. Lift. Cradle.

Like I was the last prize at a carnival booth.

I squeaked again. Loud. Desperate. A fluffy "PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT OKAY."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're way too clean to be wild. And your ears... that's green. Natural bunnies don't have green. You someone's pet? Or some kind of weird side effect quirk?"

I stared at her. Wide-eyed. Full of panic. Trying to scream "IT'S ME, MIDORIYA. I'M A HUMAN. I'M IN HERE."

But all I could do was wiggle my nose.

Mirko kept staring, like she was trying to figure me out.

Then, she broke into a grin.

"Heh. You're kinda cute, aren't you?"

No.

No no no please stop this train of thought.

She looked around again, scanning for enemies. Then tucked me gently—gently—against her side like a football. "You're comin' with me, fuzzball. Can't leave a poor thing like you out here with villains runnin' around."

I let out a pathetic little sigh of defeat.

Because of course.

OF COURSE this is how my life goes.

One second, I'm fighting for survival.

The next, I'm being carried bridal-style by my idol, cradled like a plush toy, unable to communicate or explain the absolute horror of my current situation.

I have never felt so small. So humiliated. So... soft.

Please, someone fix this before I end up in a pet bed.

Mirko's POV

The USJ smelled like blood, smoke, and bad decisions.

I'd already taken down a half dozen villains, one weird squid guy, and a dude who thought his quirk was "monologue people into submission." Newsflash: it wasn't.

I was headed to check the boat zone when I saw it.

Tiny.

White.

Fluffy.

A literal rabbit.

Just... sitting there.

In the middle of a battle zone.

Not hiding.

Not running.

Just staring at me like I was the strange one.

"...The hell?"

I slowed, unsure if I'd taken a hit to the head or if this was actually happening. But no. It twitched its little green-tipped ears and squeaked at me.

A normal rabbit wouldn't have green ears.

And it sure as hell wouldn't still be clean and floofy in the middle of a villain siege.

"Okay, that's suspicious."

I approached slowly, crouching. The rabbit didn't move.

Not a twitch. Not a hop.

Just stared at me, wide-eyed, like it was rethinking every decision that brought it to this point.

"...You stuck, little guy?"

I reached out, and it immediately started backing away in the tiniest, clumsiest hops I've ever seen. Like it didn't know how to be a rabbit. It tripped over a rock and flopped onto its side dramatically.

I blinked.

"...You're weird."

Still, I scooped it up.

It squeaked once, loud and horrified, and then just... went limp. Not dead. Just done.

"Yup. Definitely not normal."

The fur was too soft. Too perfect. Like it'd been conditioned. Its eyes were huge. Panicked. Familiar in a way I couldn't place.

I gave it a little shake.

"You a villain in disguise? Hm?"

Nothing.

It just stared at me in silent, vibrating judgment.

Cute, though.

Suspiciously cute.

"You better not be cursed," I muttered, tucking it under my arm. "I swear, if this is some weird transformation trap, I'm gonna throw you at the nearest psychic until someone figures it out."

Later – USJ Med Bay

I marched into the med zone, bunny still tucked under one arm like a fluffy little hostage.

Aizawa looked like death warmed over, sipping his coffee like it was the only thing keeping him from evaporating.

He blinked at me.

"...Is that a rabbit?"

"Sure is," I said, dropping onto a cot like I owned the place. "Found it near the boat zone. Thought it was a villain's pet or some kind of side-effect. Doesn't talk. Doesn't fight. Just... squeaks."

The rabbit in question squeaked, as if on cue, and buried its face into my elbow in what I assumed was shame.

Aizawa stared harder. "Why did you bring it here?"

"Because it was out there. In the middle of everything. Looking like this." I held it up. "Look at this thing. Look at its ears. Green. Green, Eraser."

He squinted. "That's not normal."

"Exactly."

We both stared at the rabbit. The rabbit stared back.

It sneezed.

"...Alright," Aizawa sighed. "We'll keep it here for now. I'll have someone from Support look it over, just in case it's a cursed object or a villain quirk victim."

The bunny made a high-pitched noise of emotional distress.

I patted its fuzzy head. "You'll be fine, fluffball. Worst case? We de-cursed you. Best case? You're actually a feral plushie, and I get to adopt you."

Aizawa sighed so hard I thought his soul left his body.

"Don't name it."

"I'm naming it."

"Mirko."

"Too late. His name is Mochi."

The bunny squeaked again.

Not approvingly.

Somewhere inside a very confused bunny brain:

I hate everything. Someone save me. Or kill me. Either's fine.