A heavy silence settled over them, thicker then the uneasy tension in the atmosphere. Unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around and tried to avoid catching other glances that passed by.

" Isn't it a beautiful day today?" he asked coughing.

"Your not wrong,it's magic out here." I replied back.

"Nice weather lately."

"Sure is! But they say it might rain next week."

"I heard that, too."he said.

We both can never talk properly to each other. Weather??? Seriously!!!

"What are you eating?" I asked out of no where. He chuckled before lifting up his plate. He was eating Pasta!! "How often do you eat Italian food?"

"Depends on my mood" he replied.

"Do you like spaghetti?" I really didn't know why I was being so stupid. I mean it's so much easier to talk front to front rather than talking over the phone.

"Yes" he sounded amused.

"Do you go over there a lot?" I asked.

"Depends!!" He said. "You don't have to feel awkward, Hani. If you aren't comfortable talking with me you just have say it loud."

I looked down nervously.

"It's...I just don't know what to talk about?" I sighed.

"Talk about anything, my love" my breath hitched at his word.

As I attempted to hide my face behind my chalky-white fingers, my cheeks became rose-pink and shone through the gaps. I turned my head to the side to avert my gaze, but the sudden rosiness of my cheeks gave me away.

"You don't have to hide your face away from me, Hani." He said slowly amd I turned biting my lips. My heart beat was racing.

"Zain" It came out as a whisper.

"Damn!! You're coming here tomorrow, Adeel will stay with Mom" I looked at him, yep, he was serious.

"Zain, b-but!!"

"Can't you see it Hani? You're absense is killing me. I haven't behaved liked this ever and ever means not even with Hareem." He said running his fingers through his hair.

Then why can't you see it Zain, how am I living without you?

I wanted to say this but stayed quiet.

"I don't give a damn!! You're coming to me tomorrow and that's final." He said sitting up.

"I can't" It was as if my tongue wasn't in my control. He looked shocked at my answer and then looked down.

"Yeah, I forgot, I can't force you. Afterall who am I? Husband? Who doesn't care for his wife." He said slowly.

"Zain, stop it. It's nothing like that. You do care for me and there are numerous of incidents which shows you do care." I said looking at him in the eyes.

"Then why don't you want to come here? Why can't you come to me? What is stopping you?" He asked desperatey.

"My health" I replied taking a deep breath.

"Why? What the doctor said?" He asked and I started fidgetting with the hem of the mattress. "Hanya?"

"She gave me medicines. It'll get better soon" I said smiling.

"I'm not buying it!!"

"Trust me Zain, it happens. Nothing major. Plus, I'm getting older day by day" I laughed a little.

"Yes, if soon to be twenty-one is older then what about twenty-eight?" He asked

"Soon to be twenty-eight" I laughed.

"There must have been a particular cause, Hani?" Uff, why can't he just drop the topic.

"All my reports are normal, just a small hormonal imbalance, within few months, it'll be normal."I said. By the facial expression of his face, I understood that he doesn't believe me.

But, I was more than thankful that he didn't asked anything further.

"Zain, I'm going to my home" I said slowly.

"Is everything fine?" He was concerned.

"Hmm, I'm missing them alot. I did took permissiom from Mom and Dad, though. And your cell was unreachable." I said.

"Hmmm....so when are you going?" He asked.

"Tomorrow" I looked up.

"Now, your health allows you to tavel?" He taunted.

"You did not just taunted!!" I raised my voice.

"Ofocurse, I did" He shamefully admitted.

"Shameless man!!" I commented. He laughed.

"Jokes apart...and on a serious note you are going!!" He said firmly.

"Yes." I replied.

"When will you be back?" He asked

"No idea."

"What??"

"I mean, I haven't thought about that, but, will be back soon." He seemed to thought about something before replying. "Okay, but take care of yourself and Adeel." I nodded.

"I should sleep now" I said, I was really feeling very exhausted.

"Yeah, okay. Bye."

"Bye..." I was about to hang up when he called my name.

"Hani..."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing..." With that he hang up.

Why do I feel that he wanted to say something which my ears are dying to hear.

The glass of water stared at me from the bedside table, I took a sip and plopped back onto my pillow.

***
"Are you just going to lie there all day?" Zarine shouted. I slowly opened my eyes to see a blurred vision of her.

"You've seriously been lying in the exact same spot for over ten hours, and believe me; you look like a freak." She again shouted but this time tapping her foot.

"Why are you so loud, early in the morning?" I said stretching.

"I am loud? You should look at yourself for once. You have sunken, you're getting seriously red and weak at the same time, which is weird." She said examining me from top to bottom. I chuckled.

"Zarine, you saw me last night only. We had dinner together?" I said.

"But still, you look like a mess and you do remember that you're leaving today and you need to pack, right?" Zarine asked me, uncertainly, as if she was unsure if she needed to take me to the mental hospital or not.

"Yes, yes, I do. Thanks for reminding me once again. And, I've already done my packing. I wasn't able to sleep properly last night, so I packed." I shrugged.

"You okay Na, Hanya?" She said keeping her head on my forehead.

I smiled. "I'm fine, trust me."

"I do trust you but I also know you very well, you're a champion in masking everything." She said

"Wao, thanks for the compliment." I bowed down a bit. She laughed.

In the meantime Adeel came inside the room half walking and half falling down speaking in his own language.

"When did he got up?" I asked.

"An hour back." She said.

"Did he ate something?"

"Yup, he did." She said. "I'm taking him with me, you please fix yoursef up properly."

After freshening up I stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes were lifeless. The spark that existed before had vanished. There was nothing left, not an ounce of life in my eyes. I sighed and went out of the washroom.

***
There were plasma screens of arrival and departure times on the wall of the airport. People were lined up at the check in desk with suitcases and baggage. There was a sculpture of a whale with water cascading from it's mouth and flowing down it's tail flukes. In the background soft classical music played.

In the arrivals lounge there was a curious mixture of bored and excited people. Some looked like they were waiting for a bus, others like they were children waiting for Santa himself. Some lounged on the low comfy chairs and others bounced on their toes.

Who knew my journey would end soon? I walked with my luggage checking my passport once or twice. The steps that I took forward on those sleek silvery tiles of the airport terminal were trembling but I knew I had to move forward, leaving behind all the memories.

I return home, return to the same streets and homes, to the same people. Yet everything has moved on in my absence; perhaps it was foolish to imagine even one thing would remain the same. My friends were beyond excited to embrace me and chatter, catching up like we never missed a beat.

Afterwards it was all too obvious that the gaping hole I left on departure had long since healed and scarred up. I'm no longer part of the natural flow of their lives, everyone's out of kilter and there is an awkwardness I never expected.

I cleared my throat and excused myself. The same warmth embraced me and I curled up in a fetal position giving up on everything.

Mama came and sat beside me, she slowly started stroking my hair.

"I never thought for a moment also that returning home that being here with you isn't the one true thing I seek. But being in this place after everything that's happened is so hard." I cried so hard as I snuggled onto my mama's lap.

"I miss him so badly Mama, I wanna be with him, wanna share everything with him, I want him to be the one, he's my everything and yet he isn't." I hiccuped.

"Ssshhh, sshhh...you know what Hani, I want you to be that person whom I  recalled, innocent and sweet, yet ready to struggle. I want to see the return of that beautiful smile of yours instead of the things that's draining you. So, my love, start living one day at a time and not worry so much about the things we can't control." Mama said. "You should sleep my child." She kissed my forehead and left.

It must be around midnight when my cell buzzed, it was a text message. Yes, I was awake. Why? Don't know.

"If I was distant, if I wasn't able to give us the much needed space, if I wasn't able to echo your divine emotions, please forgive me, Hani. I want to erase all the negative effects and make it upto you as if , it never happened; I want to do that for us."