I was contemplating on whether I should go in or not? Should I ring the door bell or not? The other side of me doesn't want me to go in, it says to run and leave everything behind but my humanity says to go in and face everything.

While I was having inner battle with myself, I looked up and saw him staring down at me. Our gaze locked, my breath hitched and for that one second I could only see her laughing in his eyes, their memories, their life. So from where did I came in this picture? How can we both be together when we both are not ready to accept the reality.

He's not ready to forget her and I'm not ready to take her place. Heck!! I can never take her place, then how are we gonna spend the entire life together, where there's no love and if there is love it's only of a family love. He treats me as his sister, I treat him as my big bro.

He's living only for her and I'm dying because of her. She'll be always there with him and I'll be always at the back of him. He has always look up to her and I've always look down. She'll always be first in everything of him and I'll always be second!!

I took a deep breath and was about to knock when suddenly aunty opened the door.

"Hani you're back" she said cheerfully. In return I only smiled at her and walked in. All the while thinking that what is he doing in my room?

"Hanya, you're back. Come sit and have breakfast...we all were waiting for you" Mama said patting my shoulder.

"Mama, I'm not hungry. My head is paining, gonna go and rest for a while" I said and gave her a tight lip smile, and started walking up. But soon, I realized that he's there in my room and just right then my foot froze.

I looked down and saw everyone has stopped doing their work and were watching my every step with hope in their eyes. I so didn't wanted to break their hope but I can't go up also. So I chose the latter, breakfast it is.

And just like that I started walking down and everyone came out of their trance and quickly busied themselves. I was on the last step when I heard footsteps from behind and my grip on the railing tightened.

"You can go in your room, Hareem's room is set now." He said. And I didn't wanted to reply him so I walked down the last step without saying anything to him.

We all sat down for the breakfast, just my luck he sat opposite to me. We all started eating, everyone chatting and laughing away, they all were so excited for our wedding. If only they knew...It's weird how we get wedding fantasies set in our heads when we are little girls. Everyone always says that they never thought about their wedding until they got engaged, but I'm not going to lie to you. I started dreaming about my wedding when I was little. My dream wedding...

At eight, I was perfectly sure of the wedding dress I would get. One that was big, poofy. Over the years my idea of a wedding dress slowly scaled back. Five years ago, I was sure I'd get married in an elegant lace sheath dress, just like her. I have always wanted something 'more traditional.'

Few years back when I was seventeen, She and I, we were driving by when I saw a formal wedding was going on. The bride walked out on the patio in a full ballgown wedding dress and veil.

"Ohhhhhhh...." I said. "Look at the beautiful bride! One day soon I'll be a bride and look just like that." And she had laughed at my childish behavior.

"I have to get a dress like that! It's my one chance to wear a dress like that!" I said out loud and clear. She looked at me and smiled.

"In Sha Allah, I myself will make that dress for you." Her eyes twinkled when she had said those words.
And then I realized that not all dreams come true.

"Hani you there?? Haniiiii...." Mama yelled and I quickly came out of my trance. Everyone was now looking at me.

"Yes" I said softly.

"Are you alright? We were calling you, but you were so engrossed in your thought that you weren't responding" Mama said.

"Sorryyy, I don't know how I spaced out" I said and looked in front and my gaze again met him.

"It's okay, It happens" Aunty said smiling.

"Yeah...so what we were saying that after having breakfast, we'll go for shopping. I mean your wedding dress shopping" she said cheerfully and my chest tightened as I tried to take deep breaths.

"Mama..." I said looking at her.

"Yes" she said happily.

"I won't be going for my wedding dress shopping because I already have one" now my mama was confused and everyone was frowning at me except him. Then I turned and looked at him

"I'll be wearing her wedding dress" I said loud and clear. Everyone was shocked but his expression remained same. I got up and went to my room.