Cold. And hot. Its dark. Lights behind be. Sirens... Thunder... Yelling... My fault!

'Keep running!' My lungs burn but I can't stop. Can't stop! Run!!
I make it to the tree line just as the storm breaks. 'Don't stop!' I grip my bag tightly to my shoulder with one hand and a hunting knife in the other. My arms are wet, my face to, but not from the rain. The liquid is hot and sticky. I can taste it on my lower lip. Blood.

I'm hurt.

'Can't stop. Not safe. Keep running. Not safe. Not safe. Not safe...'

I running all the way to the mountain before I realize where I am.

Mt. Ebott.

I'm so exhausted from running I can't catch my breath. I'm dizzy, I can't stand. Suddenly I trip and stumble into a deep hole. I feel the wind rushing past as I fall head first. I take a breath.

'Its so peaceful and quiet.' I close my eyes and wait for death.

'Closer. Closer. Closer. Closer...'

"Chara, wake up!" I bolt up in a cold sweat, tears streaming down my face. I turn to Asriel who is sitting on my bed holding my by the shoulders. I look into his worried soft brown eyes and pull him into a hug. I sob uncontrollably into his shoulder shaking as he holds me, rubbing my back and making soothing sounds to calm me down.

"Shh, it's alright Chara. Your safe at home. We're all here. Mom and Dad are down the hall. Please don't cry, Chara. It was all a dream."

I take deep breaths and try to steady myself. I give a couple sniffles and he looks at me. "You alright?" I take a ragged breath and nod my head. "Do you need me to stay for a little bit?" I nod again.

We sit in silence on my bed for a while. I reach over to the night stand for the glass of water Mom brings me every night. I look over to Asriel and see a lost expression on his face as he stares at me.

Asriel turns and stares at the rug. "How many times, Chara?"

I shift slightly "Six."

Asriel turns to me "This month?"

"This week." I mumble pulling the blankets over my head. I can feel my ears going red in shame.

"Chara," I feel a hand on my head trough the barrier I've made, "I'm worried for you. You can't sleep, not regularly. When you do you wake up screaming and terrified. I-I don't want to see you hurting. You're like a sister to me." He sniffles, I can feel his hand shaking.

I pull the covers off my head and hug him. "Hey, big goats don't cry, remember?" I say ruffling his hair.

"Heh, yeah." He smiles. "Oh snap! Its still only 1:14am!" I turn and sure enough its only the middle of the night.

"You should get some sleep Azi. I might read a bit to think about something else for a while."

He smiles, gives me one more hug and walks across the room to his bed. "Try to get some sleep. G'night, Chara." He yawns and not a few moments later I hear his breathing slow.

"Good night, Asriel." I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. 'It's been 5 months since I fell into the underground. Yet, I'm still haunted by nightmares as if I'm still running. . .

'Am I still running?' I look over to the drawer of my nightstand. Inside I know my hunting knife sits, sheathed, and waiting. I turn to look at Asriel, sleeping peacefully with a smile on his face. 'No. I'm safe here. I have a family and. and. I can be myself. Without fear."

I close my eyes my mind made up.

Tomorrow I will rid myself of any triggers. I will make myself new and whole again. Tomorrow I leave the past in the past.

I hope...