January 22, 2025:

Life taught me a lot of things, including how situations turn to something unpredictable and in-between. You do think the way you think but sooner or later, there's another change through it that shakes your world for another world.

Chaotic right? But what should I? I'm a human and a woman who thinks simple and just easy. I always acknowledge things in a balanced way though I am hurting inside. Why? I don't know, it makes me happy to be this way, free from chaos that puts us in hell.

I dreamt to be like something or someone who has everything in life. I used to get everything easy and go with the flow not until one day, life pushed me to the core of letting things go the way they are. I don't believe such things, I believe that life is like a river of water. Just keep going and doing everything to find a way to breathe and find a place to live.

That's how life taught me that time. Everything is possible and available to achieve but piece by piece I'm hurt by the fact that life puts me somewhere else far from what I wanted to go and achieve. Life teaches us to find the hard way of life in order to survive and have life according to truth and reality. It's a painful and really tough thing to do but what should I do? It's a consequence of my mistake and immature knowledge at that time.

A time we're the truth always right here in front of me and everything is a piece of sheet that easy to decode, yet now? I don't even know what life I have today. Every piece of puzzle keeps flowing in front of me. And every truth through it shakes my mind into sadness.

I'm sad and I am hopeless in everything, most of the time when I see how clocked find its time to move forward while I am still here; stocked and paralyzed by the fact that I ruined myself alone with my bad decision and gaining weight from those consequences alone and easing pain from that result.

I'm too tired of it. I want to scream and blame someone for everything that happened but what would happen if I did? The damage is done and I am already in hell watching my chances and opportunity gone and done in front of me. It's hell right. The way I think that day pushes me to the core of suffering and hoping that I can go back to the place of yesterday, that I can go back to the memories that I always wanted to run away from that time and an experience that today was already a scars and memories of the past.

I can't go back to that but maybe I can start all over again and start a new beginning alone and wondering how to be alive again after being born in a fire of ashes unprepared. It's not easy to start all over again but the damage is done and I can't go back to that mistake twice in order to shift everything into a new perspective of life. This is how I learn my lesson and this is my consequences; to face the evil side of life in order to survive and be part of what they called Life changing opportunity to be born again and find a new beginning to choose what you wanted to be at the present moment of having a life.

-Ghi Cabalza (Mxgchef)