February 3, 2025

Life puts me into a place of misunderstood things. My mind is occupied by different things that others might not understand. Maybe it is what it is. Maybe this is my journey to face on. The place where my heart aches and I find a reason to have a purpose in life.

I don't understand why people always complicate things. They always want something like others want. Aren't tired of wondering what others want? Aren't tired of looking for someone's problems? Or aren't tired of wondering how successful others are and they want that also.

I was born to be myself and find my freedom to express myself and throw myself into the lion's den. I face so much pressure on others because I'm unique and unconventional in my way of thinking and how I express myself alone.

I'm happy with myself and always want something different and exceptional in everything. I don't want to be a coy, I want myself known for being who I am...only I am.

My principles in life, If they don't want me for being me. I don't care. I don't live just to be a follower. I don't want to be a puppet in someone's direction and acceptance. If they can't accept me; my uniqueness on how I think, dress, decide and being alone: reading books and writing everything turn my mind into pages, I don't care. It's me by the way. No need to prove myself in everything I do.

I have my own book in my mind. Building through it through writing and expressing myself in this journey is enough for me to be myself, free from everything and anything. I don't express myself to become worthless and not enough for everything because in my own journey.

I'm enough to be free myself in everything and do my own thing. If they can't handle me for being like this, then the door is open for them to leave and find someone; something else and don't bother me anymore. Just let me go and free from whatever it takes.

I can handle myself alone, free from drama and chaos of their mind and thinking. I don't expect anyone to accept me for being me but one left in me; myself being a mystery and putting a mark on their hearts and mind. If I leave them and let them go then, everything turns to a new beginning and I can't go back to that past anymore. One thing left in my principles in life. If they chose to leave then, thank you for freeing me into everything because in the end, I salute them for doing that. No manipulation needed just the truth along the way.

I don't understand. Everything is hard to understand. I don't know why and what makes them think that way. Is it successful to follow the crowd? Aren't wondering what makes them unique and perfect in their own way? Why need to defend with others? Why is it always like that? I don't understand. I really do.

Wala ba silang sarili pag-iisip to think what they like or dislike? Why do they always want what others want? I hate to admit that when I was young. I used that mindset too. I was blinded by the fact that life put me into that. I was immature back then to the point I can't hide my anger to anyone by telling them what I wanted them to do.

It's a mistake pala. Hindi natin pwedeng i-compare 'yong mindset natin sa iba. They're build differently from what our parents taught to us. We have different perspective regarding things and bihira iyong magkapareho ng pag-iisip. Magkakaiba tayo ng parents, we have differences along our journey and there are things that others might not understand and we too.

Yet, along the way, there are times na mahahagilap din natin iyong kauri natin sa life. Makakasalamuha rin natin sila but not at all times. Sabi pa nga nila, maraming ayaw ka but there's always the way round na ka-old soul mo. A soul who belongs to you and how you think. They do what you do and support you for being you. And they're there but in different world, cities, community and sometimes pamilya yet madalas ibang tao.

In family matters, there's a tendency that someone; a member of that tree, isn't your close-body. They might hate you and dislike you for the attitude that you have. They will humiliate you and disrespect you because you are not the same thinker as them. They disregard you and let you suffer alone and wonder what's wrong with you. And taught you to be alone walking in a tight rope.

There's nothing wrong about me. I'm just being myself without their opinion and judgement for who I am. I'm happy to be unique and be me. I always wanted me, free from everything that others want me to do. I was born to be free from everything and have a fate and destiny to follow my rules and others rules; created by me, with my own judgement to put in my head or not. It's for me to choose who and what I am used to.

I have my own opinion and judgement regarding things, if they don't like that, then I can't change that. I can't hide myself from them liking me. I don't want to follow others for the sake of acceptance and be friends with them. I don't belong with lies. I belong with myself and no matter what happens I will follow myself and everything chosen by me and only me.

I don't expect others will like what I like but I like to be me whether they like it or not. I wanted myself alone and happy with my freedom to express myself and be part of my unique personality. I have my own uniqueness and I'm proud of who I am. I'm just being me, not complicating things but finding my own version of what is right and not worth accepting by me.

I have my freedom to expect within myself. I have my ways of choosing what is best for me. And I have my rights to speak for myself and create my own lane. If others don't want it. Then, let them be. It's not your fault if they have low self-esteem and confidence. Before you have that, you become someone like them. So, there's no use blaming it on others. If they can't have it on their own then, it's their fault not yours.

Truth is hard if someone doesn't want to accept it. If they hide and fear to face its freedom to choose what's best, and if that individual is hard to accept that freedom to speak for what it's best and right to do along the way, it's their loss not yours.

We are not perfect, we make mistakes and everything turns to something we don't want but that's how life turns too. Either we like it or not, still the same as it is. You might understand things a little bit but it's still the same as it is.

-Ghi Cabalza (Mxgchef)