Yue Qingyuan was stupid.

He really shouldn't have sent Shen Qingqiu to Jinlan City. He should have known better. Now his Xiao Jiu got himself in trouble again (after a long time, he had missed this..) and it even had something to do with that unfilial disciple of his!

Xiao Jiu had loved him, pampered him so much, yet that disciple just stood there, not once defending his teacher when he was accused of colluding with demons, or abusing his disciples, even standing beside the sect that was slandering him. Shen Qingqiu may have abused his disciples in the past, but that was not the case now. Was the child still holding a grudge about his past treatment? How petty was that boy? Yue Qingyuan had really judged him wrong then, had he not? But so had Shen Qingqiu, who knew the bad seeds of society with a single glance (Look at that hypocrite! You only think like that when you want to huh?) . Perhaps it really was too bad that Xiao Jiu forgot everything, he had probably seen the true face of his disciple...

Even after countless negotiations, even after unsheathing his Xuan Su, they still had to give Shen Qingqiu to Huan Hua Palace. So that they could keep him in the water prison. Do what they wanted to him. And all this because Xiao Jiu was still so achingly proud, that he would rather surrender himself than be humiliated from the constant accusations. (Really? That's all you think? But that might just be true, not just in your eyes, perhaps people really can be that petty....But isn't A Yuan better? Why don't you trust him? He thinks you do...He thinks you'll protect him...)

But then Xiao Jiu ran away.

Oh his Xiao Jiu was really smart, he must have thought of running away since this matter cropped up. But what was the point of running away? Yue Qingyuan didn't understand, but he didn't really care. Even though everyone said Xiao Jiu killed Gongyi Xiao to escape. But that was probably to survive. Gongyi Xiao must have discovered Xiao Jiu escaping and tried to stop him, and Xiao Jiu must have killed him in desperation. Hasty, but at least he got out of the water prison. Who knows what kinds of horrors that horrendous disciple must have put his Xiao Jiu through, completely alone in the deep prisons. Indeed, Xiao Jiu escaping was good.

■♡■♡■♡■♡■♡■♡■

He didn't see it coming. He really didn't, and perhaps nobody did. Especially not that demonic scourge Luo Binghe.

And wasn't that a surprise? Luo Binghe was a demonic cultivator, the energy leaking from him and that pure black sword was blood red, demonic. Was that a mark he saw on his forehead? He didn't know, he was too shocked (and captivated, oh how that glossy black hair fluttered as Xiao Jiu fell) when Shen Qingqiu self destructed, for his traitor of a disciple, for that unfilial mongrel, to save Luo Binghe!

He self destructed.

Xiao Jiu died.

And he could only stare, again, as Luo Binghe gently (How dare you! ) caught his Xiao Jiu in those bloody arms. The blood that trickled down from Xiao Jiu's orifices would forever haunt his dreams, he knew.

"Everything that's happened in the past, I'll repay it all to you today."
What repayment Xiao Jiu? You owe him nothing! Nothing at all! And even if you did, I would've repaid it for you, like I always have.. if only...y ou remembered me, then you would've known to come ask me for what you want... (Ask you for what? When? Oh, you're delusional now huh?)

Oh why was he so useless?

Yue Qi unsheathed Xuan Su, wanting to kill that bastard, rip him away from his body, but Mu Qingfang stopped him.

"Why?" He growled. Mu Qingfang sighed as he slowly walked towards the two figures that had just reached the ground, muttering quietly, "If you kill him, Shixiong's sacrifice will be for naught." Yue Qingyuan sucked a harsh breath in and pushed Yue Qi back, letting his mask fall over him as he said loudly through gritted teeth, "Give him to us."

Luo Binghe raised his head from his bow, his shell shocked tear stained face still blank. As if he didn't understand that the person he was holding was dead, as if what he had always wanted had not happened already.

"Give him back," Yue Qingyuan growled as he marched forward, flanked on either side by his martial siblings.

"No."

...

What?

"What did you say?" Liu Qingge growled, sword already unsheathed.

"What do you mean no? Haven't you had enough, you beast?" Qi Qingqi snapped.

"No, I'm not giving Shizun to you, I won't, I'll bring him back, yes I will!" He looked derilious as he said this, standing up with Xiao Jiu still in his arms.

"To what? Torture him all over again?" Liu Qingge was laughing incredulously, amazed by the resolution on the beast's face. But even as tears dripped down his cheeks, Luo Binghe held Xiao Jiu's body tightly, in an unrelenting grip, slowly backing off.

Yue Qingyuan didn't hold the slave back as Yue Qi said, "You have the gall to call him Shizun after killing him Luo Binghe? Since when were you a disciple of Qing Jing peak? We don't recognise you as a part of Cang Qiong, and definitely not of Qing Jing. My Shidi doesn't have such an unfilial disciple."

Luo Binghe stilled, shell shocked, before he shook his head and said, "No, I'm still Shizun's disciple!"

Gasps of shock filled the air at that impudent declaration and whispers of "The audacity!" "His Shizun died because of him and he still dares to say that!" "Don't call him Shizun you beast!" rang in the air.

Yue Qi finally lost it as he unsheathed his sword and let its power press down, down, down, let it suffocate everyone and blind all with its brilliant glare as he aimed the tip at Luo Binghe.

"GIVE HIM BACK!'' Yue Qi shouted and raised his sword.

...

He did not get Xiao Jiu back, Luo Binghe escaped through a portal to Huan Hua.

He fainted, exhausted, from using Xuan Su and almost Qi deviating for the second time in his life.

He failed... yet again... Yue Qi failed...Xiao Jiu couldn't even be brought to rest at his home...

♤■♤■♤■♤■♤■♤■♤

There were rumours everywhere, books with illustrations, on what exactly Luo Binghe might be doing with his precious Xiao Jiu's body. What he probably was doing...(He did not... He did not...Perhaps all those judgements really were wrong... between the two of you, who is the real beast huh?)

Was that it? Was that really how that disciple had viewed his own Shizun like? How long? And why? Because Xiao Jiu was kind to him?

Was that why Xiao Jiu treated the men in his peak so harshly? Had he, perhaps, known how lustful those men's thoughts would become from the slightest hint of kindness? Perhaps that really is why...

But how had Yue Qingyuan not noticed? He had noticed before, some of the male disciples' thoughts and gazes during their disciple days, he had even made sure to threaten them and even the other men to stay away. Every man on that peak had, after all, seemed to like indulging his Xiao Jiu. If making them Xiao Jiu's enemies kept them away, it was for the best. Even if they started hurting him after. A little pain was all Xiao Jiu had to face, far better than lustful and unwanted hands.

So how could he have missed that disciple? How?

These were the thoughts that haunted him in his seclusion. And indeed he was in seclusion. His barely held together health was falling down the hill and Ling Xi caves were the only answer. Mu Qingfang, when he suggested this, probably wouldn't have thought that he would be in the very same section of the caves that had once held him prisoner. Even if he had, his only impression would have been of the pungent smell of blood, the horrifying scartches from human nails, the red soaked wall and the anguish filled aura of desperation. Unhealthy place to seclude yourself in when you're recovering from..

Heartache, Mu Qingfang had said, as if trying to crack a joke in the stilted atmosphere.

But he was right, was he not? If this wasn't heartache, what else could it be?

And so, like the coward he was, he hid from the world for 5 years. And he read. All those books. He read them all..

And sometimes he couldn't help thinking what he would do if he had Xiao Jiu's body. Would he push it down, try to do something he'd only ever dreamed about? Puppeteer the body to make it real? Then at least in death, Xiao Jiu would be his...

(But loyalties have been pledged, promises made.. what is a forever loyal to one person to do now huh?)

♤■♤■♤■♤■♤

He came out of seclusion when he got news of disciples being kidnapped by Huan Hua palace.

As the sect leader, he needed to make decisions about these matters and protect his sect, and no matter how much he drowned in guilt, he had to take care of his sect. It was when he came out that he found out about what exactly his wayward shidi, Liu Qingge had been doing.

And then he wanted to kick himself. He had hid in seclusion like a coward while his shidi had fought a hundred lost battles to win Xiao Jiu's body back. He had put his dignity, his reputation as the undefeated War God (now lost forever..) on the ground, and still went back to fight for his shixiong's corpse.

His Xiao Jiu must have watched it all from down there, and seen his shidi's loyalty. He must be praising Liu Qingge and cursing his Qi ge right now.

Frankly, he would not be wrong in doing so... (Down there..? Are you implying..?)

But then came in a person with a ridiculous name called Peerless Cucumber. Nobody had a thin enough face to say the full name of that person, so they stuck with Peerless.

Master Peerless.

But that was not what brought him into their attention, it was what he did. He brought Xiao Jiu's body back, something the Bai Zhan War God had tried to do for 5 whole years....This unknown person with almost endless spiritual energy did it. And if Liu-shizi's and Yang-shizi's accounts were to be believed, then he had also saved their lives.

But then came another shock... When Peerless Cucumber turned out to be Xiao Jiu himself.

His Xiao Jiu had been alive all this time and had refused to come to them. He had hid while they lived in pain. Did he not know what they went through? What his loss did to them? Did he not care? Would he have stayed in Huan Hua with that beast, his murderer, if he hadn't wanted to help his body's retrieval? Why?

And then.. And then he chose to go with Luo Binghe, let himself be taken away. He chose that beast over them? Why?

WhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhwyhwywhywhyWhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhwyhwywhywhyWhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhwyhwywhywh-

(SO YOU CAN HIDE WHEN YOU WANT AND OTHERS CAN'T??)

Shut up shut up shut up!

He did not want to hear anymore...

Yue Qingyuan felt lost all over again...