FOUR | BLESSINGS

"I'd also like to thank new friends we've met in our lives, and may you always bless them also."

A week later.

Third Person POV:

"I'll say grace," Toni speaks up, looking at her mother who's on the opposite side of the table. Roxanne smiles, interlacing her hands on the tabletop and giving Toni her undivided attention. She looks around the table, looking at everyone who's arrived at the dinner her mother had arranged, suddenly becoming very appreciative for everyone. Her father, her mother, half sister, brother, step father. And she could also imagine her brother Marcus there too, flashing that bright smile of his. Everyone interlaces hands with one another and Toni takes Lauren's and Anthony's hands, taking a deep breath.

"Dear God, thank you for everything you have blessed our family with. We recognize your presence even in the most difficult times. Take care of all of those present at this table, may we all be blessed with your love and care. Thank you for bringing Anthony back to have dinner with us," She says gratefully, squeezing his hand happily, "We'd also like to ask of you to take care of Marcus. We know he's up there with you and we know he's in good hands. Thank you for this delicious food, and for blessing us with our family. I'd also like to thank new friends we've met in our lives, and may you always bless them also," She trails off, thinking about Justin and everything he's gone through since his wife and daughter died, "Amen."

Toni releases Lauren and Anthony's hands, smiling at everyone around the table and taking her seat. She catches her dad's gaze out of the corner of her eyes and tries her best not to look at him, because she knows she'll tense up. She hadn't meant to put light on what she'd said about friends, but she played it off as nothing. Even though, in the depth of her heart, she knows inside of her that that blessing was for Justin.

"My god, I'm sorry I'm late." Chrissy announces upon entering the kitchen. Toni mentally thanks God, again, for having an excuse to break the tension that was evident between the two. She gets up from her chair and goes to greet Chrissy, wrapping her arms around her and smiling happily.

"Aww T, I know you missed me." She says, setting down her purse so she can hug Toni properly. Toni hugs her tightly, since she hasn't seen her for a while now. There's so much they need to catch up on, she's only talked to Kayla and Audrey about what happened with Justin, and her best friend has to know about it more than anyone. Chrissy begins to pull away before whispering in Toni's ear, "There's something you need to talk about, isn't there?"

"How did you--"

"We're best friends, I know you too well."

Toni smiles at her and sighs heavily, nodding her head slowly at her question. Chrissy grins and takes Toni's hand in hers, "We can talk after dinner, okay? You can tell me everything."

"Thank you, Chrissy."

She squeezes her hand in a sigh of comfort and Toni leads her to a seat at the table. Grace has been said, so everyone begins digging into their meals as Chrissy says hello to Toni's family. Anthony's like a brother to her too, so she hugs him a little longer, telling him how much she's missed him. Toni smiles at everyone, seeing how happy everyone is, to be together as a family, at the dinner table. Toni feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and furrows her eyebrows before pulling out of her pocket and checking the message.

From Noah:

Hey baby, I'm sorry I couldn't come to dinner with your family, work took longer than it should've. I'll make it up to you. Love you.

Toni feels her stomach drop at the last two words he'd sent, feeling a burning sensation at the bottom of her heart. She licks her lips and clutches the phone tightly, feeling a pit of heavy weight building up in her stomach. Guilt. For some reason, she feels guilty, and that makes her feel horrible inside. She remembered how much she felt toward him before the engagement party. She'd felt so overjoyed to be with him, he made her happy. She trusted him, and she still does. Was it her nervousness of being engaged? She doesn't know.

But now her feelings have just been subsided.

And she doesn't know why or how her feelings have changed so quickly.

From Toni:

Hi, it's fine. Thank you for trying.

She then closes the iMessage app and locks her phone, placing it back in her pocket and focusing all her attention back on everyone at the table, picking at her dinner here and there, suddenly losing her appetite.

***

[ to read the next part, please be open minded about what you're reading. i feel like i need to address that you have to be optimistic toward the good spirits reaching out to the living, since it could happen, in the smallest of ways. thank you ]

Third Person POV:

Justin exits his broken down vehicle with the two bouquets of flowers in his hand, tucking the keys into the pocket of his joggers and shutting the door. He circles the car, walking to the two specific tombstones he's come to see regularly, seeing them directly beside each other with flowers adorning them. Justin realizes that his mother, or someone from Sheila's side of the family had come to visit them earlier, and unwraps the newspaper from the stem of the flowers and places them into the pots of water. The smaller one being for Natalia and the larger one for Sheila.

"Hi." Is all he says at first, sinking down to his knees once he's placed down the flowers. He feels himself choking up, a knot forming in his throat to be kneeling before the grave's of the two people he loved the most.

"I came by because- because I needed to talk to the both of you." He chokes out, sucking in his lips as a gleam begins to form in his eyes. The burning sensation behind his eyes stings, and he lets out a shaky breath, looking around at the several other tombstones that surround him. He had never pictured to have been talking to them like this, in this state they're currently in. His eyes look up at the gray sky, noticing how the clouds are dull, sullen, and just unhappy. He feels the small gusts of wind blowing across his face, closing his eyes and steadying his breath with the wind rolling in. He manages to control himself and looks down once again.

"I miss you, and I don't think I can go on like this anymore." He admits, shaky breaths leaving his nostrils the more he speaks, "I want to see you both again. I want to feel you both. I want to hear your voices, I want to share your happiness, I want to enjoy your ambiance."

The back of his palm glides down the pictures of the two females, his life with them flashing before his eyes. Their smiles, their voices, their laughs, everything about them comes flooding back to him, showing him every beautiful memory they've all shared together. When Natalia had first started crawling, walking, talking. How happy Sheila was when Justin had proposed to her at the dinner he'd arranged for the both of them. When Sheila had been rushed to the hospital because she was going into labor with Justin's baby girl. Everything.

He hadn't even realized he was crying.

The tears were running down his face so rapidly, drenching his gray hoodie with hot and wet tears. Some of them fell into his mouth, and he tastes the saltiness of them. He'd been breathing heavy, his shoulders shaking as the sobs leave his lips.

"I'm sorry." He sobs, sniffling loudly, "I'm sorry I asked you to get me that stupid food, I'm sorry I put you in such a dangerous position, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you in your last moments of life." He sniffles multiple times, gulping heavily and letting the tears fall down his face at free will.

He could almost feel Sheila's touch. The soft, comforting feel of her delicate skin. It was a swift feel, and as soon as it came, it disappeared. Even though Justin couldn't see them, they were right there with him. Natalia was in his lap, slinging his arm across her chest and looking up at him with sadness pacing her facial features. Sheila was kneeling at his side, her left cheek on his right shoulder while rubbing his arm. They were there to comfort him. Both know he misses them, and they want to see him again also. He knows they're there with him, but he can't feel their touch directly. He's imagining their soft, warm touches against his skin, whisking across his face. Sheila frowns at him saying sorry for something that he had no control over, it wasn't his fault that crash happened.

Natalia pulls away from Justin and looks at Sheila attentively, watching her dad as he sobs at free will, missing them both terribly. She can't do anything to take the pain away, as much as she'd like to. Sheila moves away from him slightly, watching how broken down he is without them. He knows Sheila would want him to move on, be happy with someone who will take care of him, make him feel like he still serves a purpose to the world. Someone to help him see that and support him fully.

Little did he know, he already had.

Sheila feels the tugging at her heart, the fact that Justin will be relinquished back to his natural state with the new, powerful woman in his life.

She smiles a toothless smile, seeing the gleam in her eyes to feel that relief inside of her. Justin will be happy again, he will move on, he will power through his life, even though he can't live it with her and Natalia. That woman will make him power through this difficult stage in his life.

"It isn't your fault." She says to him, even though she knows he can't see or hear her. She comes forward again and glides her hand across his cheek, caressing the soft skin as his hazel brown eyes remain glued to the name engravings, "Go be happy, my love. For us." She soothes in her calming voice, but he can't hear it. He feels as though he could feel the tips of her fingertips against his face. Sheila then slowly removes her hand and takes Natalia's in hers and they stand up from their knees. They stare at him one last time, each of them blowing him a kiss, before they begin walking away. A strong gust of wind blows across the cemetery, and just like that, they cease to exist.

***

Third Person POV:

"I'm so sorry for his losses." Chrissy admits after Toni had told her everything about Justin. From how they met, to what she felt when she touched his hand, to the lunch they'd had before he'd broken down at the restaurant, in a public place. The talk they'd had after, the hug they'd shared together. That always made her feel giddy on the inside.

"He's damaged, Chris." Toni breathes out, picking at her fingernails while sitting on her bed. Chrissy nods her head, her face holding a hint of sorrow and pity for him.

"That poor man. I can't imagine losing my daughter or my husband." She admits, chewing on her bottom lip after she's done speaking, pacing the room. She has a habit of not being able to sit still for a certain amount of time, especially when she's anxious.

"He has it hard. I feel this urge to help him." Toni admits, her stomach twisting inside of her as she talks more about the topic at hand.

"It's called caring, T."

"Don't go getting smart." Toni scolds, giving her a dead look. Chrissy mocks her facial expression and turns away, crossing her arms over her chest. She stands there for a good minute or so and puffs out a breath before coming to sit down next to Toni on her bed.

"Y'know T," Chrissy pauses, looking over at her best friend with concern, "There's nothing wrong with admitting the truth. Especially not to me. If you feel something, anything, toward that man, then say so."

"Chrissy, I'm engaged. To a man that I trust." Toni says informatively. She finally has someone to confide in, and she doesn't want to take that for granted. It wouldn't be fair to Noah, he trusts her too, just as much as she does.

"But is he the man that you love?"

"Chrissy, I--"

"Toni? Chrissy?" Toni's mother calls from outside the door, "We're having dessert, come join us."

"Come on. Let's go." Chrissy says, patting Toni's hand that remains sprawled out on the bed. Chrissy gets up, Toni following after her, and they begin walking to the doorway, opening the door and stepping out, closing it swiftly behind them. They head downstairs, inhaling the delicious smell of pie from the bottom of the staircase.

"Remember what I said. And please, bring yourself happiness. As your best friend, that's all I want to see." Chrissy speaks, smiling at Toni before giving her a surprising hug. Toni gasps lightly, wrapping her arms around her in return, "Do what's best for you."

Toni nods her head slowly, tearing her gaze away from Chrissy's and bowing her head down. Chrissy sighs and rubs Toni's arm. Toni lifts her head up just in time to see her smile before Chrissy starts walking over to the kitchen. Toni sighs heavily and follows behind her, her thoughts combining into one coherent blur.

Did she have feelings for Justin?

And is that why she's feeling differently toward Noah?

She knows she cares about both of them. Noah's been an active character in her life, since her brother died, and even way before that. Him and Marcus knew each other well, they always got along. He felt his death as much as all of us. She knows she could trust him.

But that day Justin had confessed his losses, Sheila and Natalia, she felt that trust towards him too. When they had touched hands, that had been such a conflicting moment for her. The connection, the spark, the tug at her heart she'd felt, that isn't something that happens everyday. Or even just with Noah. She remembers when they were children, and all the great memories they've had.

Justin knew he could trust her by telling her that, and she knew that too. She hadn't spoken about Marcus for a long time before that night, but when she did, he was there to empathize, because he'd gone through the same thing.

Toni feels herself growing a headache at overthinking the topic and pushes her thoughts aside, following Chrissy into the kitchen.

***

Third Person POV:

Justin puffs out a breath as he changes into his work attire, having just arrived for his shift at the restaurant. He sees Daniel waiting on a table with his notepad, taking down their orders as they come with his head nodding as he jots down the orders. Justin puts on his tie, adjusting it in the mirror to his right, lifting his chin up to see the knot and make sure it's not twisted or loose.

"What's up, Justin." Julian says from behind the way. Justin peeks his head around the corner to see Julian already dressed and ready for work, waving two fingers at him.

"Hey Julian."

"How's it going?" He asks curiously, tying the apron around his waist and neck, making sure it's secure.

"Fine." Justin mumbles, looking through the stack of useless, random things to find his notepad and paper. He pats down his pockets, checking to see if they might be there but he creases his eyebrows slightly when they aren't.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Well, there's a party out there that needs help and I have dishes to wash. I'll talk to you later man." Julian says, patting Justin's shoulder and turning around to walk into the back room. Justin watches him leave until he's turned the corner into the washing room. Justin spots his notepad and pen on the back table and goes to grab them both, entering the dining room. He begins walking to a party full of people, all looking down at their menus and talking to decide what to order.

"Hello, my name's Justin. I'll be your server for the evening. Would you like anything to drink?" He asks politely, in his deep, semi broad voice, flipping to a new page on his small notepad and clicking his pen.

"Water for all of us, please." A small, light toned voice says from the front of the table. He nods his head and slips the notepad into his pocket along with the pen before going to grab the cups of water. He hears the door swing open, sending a swoosh of cool air inside the restaurant. Turning at the sound, he sees a blonde and a black haired women walk through the entrance and begin looking around, fascinated at the decor.

"This is where Toni had her engagement party." The blonde haired woman says, her purse resting on her forearm with a small grin playing on her lips as she eyes the room.

Justin feels his heart stop inside of his chest at the mentioning of Toni. He hadn't talked to her since the night at the restaurant, which was about a week ago, where he'd broken down. The tingling sensation begins to form at the tips of his fingers and he clenches his fists to try and stop it, but it's gotten much to obvious that he can't. The look of her face, her smile, the laughs she let out, and the joy he brought her had him so overwhelmed with confusion. He'd never felt such a way about a woman before.

The two women obviously know her, and he was curious as to how.

"Hello ladies, for how many?" The waitress, Cynthia, asks them.

"Oh just two, thank you." The black haired woman speaks up, both of them following the waitress to an open booth by the windows. Justin doesn't even realize he's staring with creased eyebrows, curious to what's happening before he looks away and walks to the kitchen to get the customers' waters.

"Hey, Justin. I got the big party here, you can help the two women down there." Daniel says, patting Justin's shoulder and brushing past him. He sighs heavily, taking out his notepad and pen, walking over to the women who had just walked in. They look up at the sight of someone approaching and smile.

"Hello, I'm Justin. I'll be your server this evening. Anything to drink?" Justin asks, his heartbeat quickening with slight nervousness.

"Justin." The blonde haired woman says, staring at him with her piercing green eyes. She chuckles softly, licking her lips and standing up in her seat. Justin feels his stomach twist, looking as if she recognized him. "I'm Lauren, Toni's sister. And this is her best friend Chrissy." She says proudly, holding out a hand for him to shake. Chrissy smiles at him and he takes it slowly, letting go shortly after.

"Nice to meet you." He mumbles.

"You too, Justin." Lauren smiles, quirking her lips to one corner of her mouth. She laughs slightly at Justin's reaction to them being there, shocked, appalled, "You seem awfully nervous."

"I'm fine." He says right away, clearing his throat afterward.

"Okay, well, I actually came by to talk to you about something important," Lauren pauses, sighing slightly and licking her lips, "On the day of the fittings, Toni's fiancé won't be here. He has family he needs to invite to the wedding directly. I realize it's short notice, but I need someone to come and try on the tuxedo, since you look just about the same size as him. Would you mind coming by and doing that?"

Justin's surprised to have been asked something like this. He hadn't worn a tuxedo since a mere couple years ago when he'd gotten married. It seems like a foreign thing, to wear something like that. But he can't pass up this favor, Toni's fiancé is going to need something to wear for the wedding. And if that would keep her happiness alive, then he'll do it.

Toni's fiancé.

He feels a knot churn in his stomach.

"Yeah, of course." Justin responds at last, licking his lips. Lauren smiles erratically, taking her phone out of her bag. She types out Justin's number that he tells her so she can notify him where the fittings are taking place and at what time. She thanks him and slips her phone back in her bag, saying that she'll see him later. He stands there, watching as Lauren leaves the restaurant with Chrissy.

***

i'm way too in love with this story. it's honestly crazy.

but thank you for reading. i appreciate that so much. 💖