As the days wore on, I saw more of Tori and less of my friends, a fact that annoyed me to no end. With April’s disappearance the prodigal mother had taken it upon herself to temporarily take up residence in the guest room.

I stalked past it with a scoff and made my way to the kitchen to prepare a snack for myself. Tori walked in as I was taking the final bite of my chicken sandwich and I ignored her in favor of sipping my juice.

“When you’re done we need to finish packing, alright?” she said with her signature smile and turned her back to me although I hadn’t given her an answer.

I finished my juice and stuck my tongue out at her back before depositing my cup into the sink and leaving the kitchen. It was my last day to say goodbye to all of things that I wouldn’t be able to take with me and as much as it pained me to do so, I had to get a move on.

“Maybe I’m just a kid in love, maybe I’m just a kid in love, oh baby,” I sang softly as I folded my shirts and stuffed them into the open suitcase on the bed. “If this is what it's like falling in love, then I don't ever wanna grow up.”

I hadn’t felt even a bit of happiness since my dad died but I was determined to try. Still singing, I did a little twirl and threw my head back laughing before reaching for another shirt. I had a smile on my face as I hummed the rest of the song.

“I’m so embarrassed for you.” I stopped smiling when April stepped into view and held up her hands in surrender. “You’re an awful singer and an even worse dancer.”

“And you’re an average friend,” I said a bit more harshly than I’d intended but it was already out there so I turned my back on her and tossed the shirt into the suitcase without folding it.

There were a lot of things that I would excuse of my friends, like going to school dances without me because I was dateless and refused to go alone or not inviting me to the movies because no one liked a third wheel, but deserting me in my time of need was nowhere on that list.

I easily forgave Jason for keeping his distance because he had lost his sister a few years back and I knew that being around the aftermath of death was not a pleasant thing for him, but April had no such excuse. She was simply being her usual self where either everything revolved around her feelings or it didn’t matter to her.

She came around to my side of the bed and folded the shirt that I’d just tossed in. “Even if I said that I was sorry, you’d still lash out at me, so what now?” she asked.

I shrugged and continued taking clothes out of my drawers and stuffing them into suitcases only to have April take them out and fold them. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her as she folded a pair of beige jeans. “Your storming out was ridiculously dramatic,” I muttered.

She gave me a lazy smile. “I’m a theatre kid. I’m always dramatic.”

I rolled my eyes and offered her a smile that felt as fake as any joy I’d feel after today. “I suppose I could stop being mad.”

I know that you probably think I’m weak for letting her off so easily but it was the last day that we had together before it was time to say our goodbyes and I didn’t want to spend it fighting. I know that she must’ve had the same thought because in her own way, she apologized first. If I wasn’t moving the next day I would’ve been the one to make things right between us, so the fact that she had come over, meant that she was swallowing her huge ego and that meant a lot.

“Friends?” she asked, sticking out her hand.

I took it in mine and pulled her in for a hug. “The best of ‘em.”

She smiled and tossed another folded pair of jeans into the almost full suitcase. “And don’t you ever forget it.”

We were almost done with the clothes when Tori knocked on the door. I looked up but didn’t return her smile. “Yeah?”

“You girls hungry? I was going to order some Chinese but how about if we just went out instead?” I was about to shut her down when she added, “I’ll be in the car.”

The way it was worded, it was clear that she was pulling rank and there was no saying no. I scowled at her while April enthusiastically shook her head. I turned my scowl on her to which she only smiled. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t share my distaste for the woman standing before us. She didn’t owe it to her to be nice just like I didn’t.

“You guys go on,” I told them when April got up to leave. “I just want to be alone right now.”

“Cam,” April started but I shook my head. If she’d decided to stay too, then there would be no getting rid of Tori. “I’ll bring you back something sweet,” she said instead.

“Yeah,” I murmured as they left.

Truthfully I didn’t want to be alone but I also didn’t want to be stuck across the table from Mother Gothel for an hour.

I finished my packing and hauled the suitcases to the door with great unease since I wasn’t accustomed to doing any heavy lifting. I then returned to my bedroom and began my nostalgic journey. Everything except for my necessities would remain in the room. And since Tori was under the impression that anything else that I needed could easily be bought once I was under her roof, I only got to take half of my wardrobe, which if I was being honest, was quite alright with me.

I hugged myself and ventured out of the room with the intention of going to the attic. I needed to find all of our photo albums, even the ones that I hadn’t looked at in years. Suddenly locating them was the most important thing and I could not bear to leave without the memories that they held.

I climbed the stairs and was greeted by darkness. "Ouch!" I hissed, feeling along the wall for the switch. Stupid box! I silently fumed once the place was lit. My dad still had some unopened boxes thrown into the mix. He hadn’t opened them for the same reason that I hadn’t, there were a whole lot of painful memories in those boxes and nobody wanted to open any wounds that might have healed.

There were boxes upon boxes that contained traces of my father’s childhood that my grandparents had shipped to us years back and although I hadn’t seen them in forever before the funeral and didn’t feel anything where they were concerned, my dad had loved them and I knew that it had broken his heart that they hadn’t embraced the birth of their grandchild like they should have. I’d never actually asked him about it because I wasn’t sure that I’d wanted to know but from the bits and pieces of conversation that I’d overheard on the phone, I gathered that their relationship had ended when I was born, although I had no idea why.

I continued roaming the room without opening any of the boxes that held anything from my life before this town. I was still a child when we’d made the move from big city to small town but I remembered that I wasn’t very happy there. As my father had told it, we had no chance of happiness if we had stayed with his parents but he’d never offered an explanation as to why and as you know, I had no desire to ask for one.

No kid wanted to hear that their grandparents blamed them for ruining their son’s future and since it wasn’t like I had asked to be born, I’d pushed those unpleasant memories out of my mind and them along with it. Goodbye and good riddance!

There was a box labeled her in the unmistakably scrawled handwriting that belonged to my dad and curiosity got the better of me as usual so I opened it. I was surprised to find tiny dresses and shoes that were obviously mine. I smiled as I unpacked the box, trying to attach memories that were no longer there to each item, when a book slipped out.

I turned over the leather bound item in my hands before opening the clasp. I sucked in a breath at the sight of those familiar scrawls that had the ability to bring tears to my eyes. I wasn’t sure whether it had been hidden or simply forgotten about, but it appeared that I’d stumbled upon a journal that had once belonged to my dad.

Tears blurred my vision and I shut the book before I smudged the yellowing pages with my waterworks. I so wasn’t going there today. Maybe someday in the not so distant future I’d be brave enough to dissect my father’s private thoughts, but not today. Today I didn’t feel like having a meltdown.

In a much somber mood I located the box of photo albums and slipped the journal inside. Back in my room I unearthed one final suitcase and carefully packed the albums and journal inside before lugging it to the door to join the rest.

April didn’t return that night and thankfully Tori didn’t bother me with her presence. She’d bid me goodnight and then retreated to the guest room and I had simply locked my bedroom door and lay in bed.

Unable to sleep like every night before, I opened my spotify app and listened to music while scrolling my facebook newsfeed. I really didn’t care about what was going on in the lives of my classmates at the moment but alas, I had nothing else to do. It wasn’t until my eyes were sandy with sleep that I finally shut off my phone and rolled over.

The first thing that popped into my mind when I awoke the next morning was that the day was finally here. It was D-Day and I was not even close to being ready to leave it all behind.

Like someone with nothing else to do, I chose this morning to show a little appreciation of my room. I took notice of the way that the streaks of sunlight streaming through the thin blinds illuminated the room, making it all look picturesque. At any other time I would’ve simply pulled a pillow over my head and rolled over but there was something different about the last day that a certain person would spend in her room. It was almost like I was seeing it all for the first time, probably because it was the last.

The walls were lilac and boasted dandelions painted in white. Above the dandelions used to hang pictures of my few excursions with my friends and my dad. I’d stuffed them into a suitcase the day before and now the dandelions just seemed lonely.

Looking at the room as a whole, it looked like it still belonged to a child. It lacked the creativity one would expect of a sixteen year old. There were no band posters tacked to the walls or marks of graffiti anywhere. It looked as new as the day we’d painted it but oddly enough, it was not something that I’d noticed before.

I looked at the tangle of sheets that I was currently wrapped in and sighed. As hard as it was to admit, I was going to miss the familiarity of my room. I was going to miss a lot of things that already seemed like they had no place in my new life.

I dragged myself out of bed and got in the shower. I was going to start my day right for once in my life.

Hoping to maintain the good mood that I seemed to have woken up with, I decided to take a walk in the park. Since it was fairly early, a little after 7 and way too soon for Tori— who still wasn't accustomed to the time difference— to be up and about, I quietly snuck downstairs and left.

Ten minutes into the journey and I was already winded. “I really shouldn’t eat so much crap,” I panted. “This shit is ridiculous!” And then I laughed because even though I was out of breath and clearly needed to exercise, I knew that I wouldn't. I'll probably just complain my entire life about how out of shape I was but never do anything to change it.

I finally reached the park and sat on a bench to do my second favorite activity besides eating: people watching.

A few early morning joggers passed me, probably on their way out of the park and I scrunched my nose at the thought of ever being someone who ran for the simple joy of it. My dad was one of those people who loved to take long walks and go for morning runs just because, but apparently I must’ve gotten my particular trait of “unmotivated to exercise” from good ol’ mommy. It was too ridiculous to even waste any more time thinking about.

“I know you’re only here for the guys, pervert!”

Using my hand to block out the sun’s glare, I stared up at the person standing before me. “Don’t you ever say good morning?” I asked Jason who was now seated comfortably beside me.

“Not unless my mom makes me,” he replied with a half shrug. He looked at me for a few seconds and then reached out and tousled my neatly combed hair.

“Jerk!” I swatted his hand away. “Unlike you I actually have to detangle this mess!”

He gave me a small smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. I really didn’t want to go there with him so I poked him in the stomach. “You wouldn’t be stalking me, would you?”

He blew raspberries. “Please, you’re so not my type.”

The subject was remained changed for all of two seconds before it backfired. “I can’t believe that you’re really moving.” Jason ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it sticking out in all directions and let out a long sigh.

I cringed at the change of mood. “It won't be so bad, we just need to give it some time,” I said hoping to reassure him. He was the polar opposite of April, whereas she was loud and bubbly, he was quiet and reserved. Sometimes I worried about him more than I did her.

“Yes, it will,” he replied, his voice breaking.

“Woah. Dude, are you crying?” I jostled him.

He scoffed. “What? No. I’ll cry over real stuff.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like war in the middle east or hunger in impoverished countries.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, okay.”

"It's always been the three of us," he said, serious again. "What are we supposed to do without you?"

“You guys will be fine.” I said this with a smile that didn't quite match how I felt. “We’ll all be fine.”

“I know.” He leaned forward and bent over to pick up a rock and then looked at me. “I’ll miss you.”

I ignored the sting of tears that assaulted my eyes at his declaration. I’d been good up until that point and there was no way that I was going to break now. “Promise?”

He rolled his eyes and looked away. “Well until we replace you with someone way funnier.”

I thumped him on the arm but couldn’t help laughing. “Jerk!”

Jason walked me home afterwards and finally got to meet Tori. Unlike April he was as aloof as I had hoped and the smile on my face at the way he’d been less than enthusiastic with his greeting showed how happy I was. “You’re awful,” he told me when she was out of earshot. “You could have at least pretended to be indifferent to my indifference.”

“That’s the stupidest thing that I’ve ever heard,” I defended. “What? Can’t I be happy that at least one of my best friends is on my side?”

“It’s not about taking sides, Cam.” He turned to face me and tilted my head upwards. “She’s a person with real feelings too. Don’t forget that during this war that I know you’ve already started.”

If this advice was coming from anyone else I would’ve been pissed, but Jason understood my pain. That didn’t mean that I was willing to take it fully under advisement though. “I’m a person with real feelings too,” I mumbled. “I’m hurting more than she ever will.”

“Still. Don’t forget that the only reason that you’re not being shipped off to some foster home is because of her generosity.” I scowled and he tapped my cheek. “Be respectful even in your anger.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

“Good girl.”

He stuck around a bit longer before he decided that it was about time he left. He didn’t want to see me off any more than I wanted him to. I knew that I wouldn’t see April either so when I hugged him goodbye and the tears came, I let them be. “Don’t cry over me,” I joked when I felt his chest vibrating.

“I’m crying because you stepped on my foot and now I fear that it’s broken.” He sniffed and I held on even tighter and sobbed, soaking his nice clean shirt.

I wasn’t only saying goodbye to him. I was also saying goodbye to April and to my father and the house and all of his belongings but since the only one here to receive my tears was Jason, he was the only one who got to see me blubber like a baby.

“Call us when you get there, alright?” he said as he backed out the door.

“I’ll think about it,” I hiccupped.

He wiped his tears and I mimicked him, except that mine was a combination of snot as well. “Take care of yourself.”

“Just go already!”

He laughed and I reached out to hug him one last time before letting him leave, my heart ripped to pieces. I stood watching him until he was too far up the street for me to see him without leaving my porch. I closed the door with a soft click and turned around to find Tori waiting there with open arms.