Yeah.... this story is gonna take a while. Sorry for the wait, I've been struggling to put this update out because procrastination. :p. Another reason is that my other story (Percy Jackson) is so much better received I thought I'd focus a bit on that. 

We stepped out of the room and scouted around. Everything looked peaceful enough, I supposed. I glanced at the bodies lying around, and suddenly, horror struck me. They were motionless, some were bleeding from what seemed like head wounds. They looked more like inanimate objects rather than people. Maybe they were inanimate objects now.

"Are they dead?" I demanded.

None of them turned to look at me, and they were silent, as if waiting for someone to explain or say something. Suddenly, I got angry. I don't know why. Maybe the bodies lying on the ground reminded me of her. 

"Hey!" I growled. "Don't ignore me." 

I inserted myself in the middle of the group, forcing them to looked at me. Neco's face was blank, completely clean of all emotions. My heart pounded. I already knew the answer. Why did I keep asking them? No. I needed to hear it from them. Finally, Jacob broke the silence. 

"Not all of them are dead." 

"That means that most of them are." I shot back. 

"Lucas." Aria muttered. "Come on." 

"I know," I replied. I didn't even know what I was feeling right now. "But don't you remember? They didn't want to kill Jacob. They offered to let him surrender. They were only doing their job." 

"And we're only doing ours," Neco snapped. "Lucas, if you're gonna join us, get used to it. We have to do this. It's a war. It's our job. If you don't like it, you can go back home to your little daddy." 

That was a slap to the face. I looked down, not replying. I bit my lip, feeling extraordinarily vulnerable, as if another hurtful comment would make me break down completely. We kept walking through the metal corridors. It was eerily quiet until we turned the corner. At the end of the hallway was a room that I could see was already crowded with people. Through the low hum of conversation, I heard Aria whispering to Neco when they thought I couldn't hear. 

"And that's why you're not a recruiter," Aria hissed. "It's his first time, cut him some slack." 

I sighed inwardly. Neco was right, of course. I would have to get used to this if I became a member. But no matter how much I reasoned with myself in my head, I couldn't get the image of them out of my mind. Their lifeless bodies, once a person with their own lives and memories, now gone. Maybe they had friends, families. People that would mourn for them. Another wave of vulnerability. No, I couldn't cry in front of them. I was weak enough as it is. 

"Hey, Lucas you okay?" Jacob asked, concerned. "Looking a little pale there." 

"I'm fine." I managed to choke out, without my voice breaking.

"Alright...." He still didn't look convinced. "Well, don't pay any attention to what Neco said. He's just stressed, and well, today was a tough day." 

I nodded, not meeting his eyes. I didn't blame Neco, although his words kept reapeating in my head. If you don't like it, you can go home to your little daddy...... If you don't like it, you can go home to your little daddy...... No. I didn't want to go back. 

"Lucas, come on," Aria said. "They're going to start without us." 

I didn't want to go back.... right? I didn't want to go back to the same life I was living before, miserable and hungry... right? But here, surrounded by death, could I manage? I had gone long without ever truly acknowledging the idea of death. 

Sure, the thought of suicide (as said before) was occasionally with me, but it was just a word, a form of escape I wished I had. But the concept of death itself was suffocating to think about, like a dark cloud hovering over me. I kept running and running from the cloud, because I was unable to face it and move on. I was scared, because I couldn't face her death and move on. Her. My mom. 

Tears clouded my vision. I had gone so long without even a mention of her name in my thoughts (by this I meant the word "mom" since he's been referring to her as "her" this whole time) that this was like ripping open a fresh wound. I stopped, trying to regain my composure, but I couldn't. 

Death was a terrible thing. I was sure of that. I hated it. Hated it with every being of my soul. It took her away from me. It took everything away from me. Now, I had entered a place where death was the norm. Could I really stay here?

"Lucas, hey, you okay?" Aria said softly. 

"Yeah, fine," I said, wiping the tears from my face. By the time she could see my face clearly again, it was had the faintest of smiles. "I bet Jacob can beat you to the room."

"No way. Game on," Aria replied, grinning. 

Well, I had to try. For her. 

Hi. Me again. Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit dramatic, but I just want to show you the depth of Lucas' feelings. This chapter is really the start of character development for Lucas, and reveals a bit of his past? I don't really know, haha. It also sets the stage for the rest of the story, so I guess it could be a little dramatic. Hope you enjoyed :)