By the time Lilli and Riley arrived, Isla was on the verge of hyperventilating. It started when Marcia tried to talk to her about her wedding night. Isla appreciated her intent, but she was too embarrassed to talk about it. Leo promised not to go fast, but she had felt him. He wanted to do those things. She couldn't fathom what the hardness she felt would look like. All the books she read only described it as soft but hard. How could something feel soft and hard at the same time? How would it fit inside her?

Living in a convent, modesty was treasured. Each step from giving up her skirts and tights to shorts and swimsuit took her modesty away. She hadn't been without clothes in front of another human since her grandmother gave her baths. She never went to the doctor, because she never got sick and she didn't have insurance.

Leo insisted she needed to see a doctor. Along with a husband and stepchildren, she would have health insurance. He said she needed a physical before they thought about a baby. Everything came around to nudity.

Lilli took one look at her. "Breathe, before you pass out. I used to look like you before I realized Zach really liked me."

Riley looked scared. "Isla, are you sick?"

She shook her head. "Afraid. Afraid of the people."

"Dad said it's small, just some friends."

"That I won't be a good wife and mother."

Riley laughed. "You are already a good mother. Remember, I knew you were special when I found you."

Lilli smiled. "It's fate, and the ceremony is one hour, your marriage is forever. You have changed Leo. He is truly happy."

Lilli and Riley's support had her breathing normal while Lilli fixed her hair and makeup.

Lilli said, "Riley go downstairs and get me a glass of water. I'll put a little makeup on you when you come back."

The minute the girl left, Lilli took out a gift bag. "Take this and get your dress on. No excuses. You are wearing what's inside. I'll check if I have to." Isla gulped. "And breathe. I passed out when Zach told me he loved me. We don't need a fainting bride."

"Lilli, water." Riley walked through the door.

"Sit down. Isla's getting dressed and then we need to put on our dresses."

Isla left the bathroom and went into her room. The boy's room wouldn't be hers anymore. She wouldn't sleep in the basement either. Carefully she pushed aside the tissue paper. A note sat on top. 'Something old, my grandmother's pearls. I wore them on my wedding day. The pearls are something borrowed too. Inside is something blue and something new.'

Isla took out a white lace bra and pale blue panties. Both items were sexier than any underwear she owned. Her gift from her friends was packed. She felt a nervous dip in her tummy which left tingling between her legs. Taking a deep breath, she took off her bathrobe and old underwear. She slipped into the silky blue ones and clasped the bra. After a swipe of deodorant on both sides, she stepped into her dress.

It wasn't a gown, and it wasn't pure white. The sales lady told her no one wore white, because no bride was virginal. "Our brides prefer ivory and other off-white shades." Lilli coughed when the woman said virginal. Isla bit her tongue to stop from saying she was a virgin. Lilli and Riley's dresses were blue.

A knock on the door caused her to jump. She looked down at the flowing skirt and the lacy bodice. Only she could find a modest wedding dress.

"Open up. We need to get dressed." She cracked the door and Lilli pushed through. "You look beautiful. I still have to put some baby's breath in your hair."

Riley and Lilli dressed while she slipped on her sandals. Her friend thought nothing of being in her underwear. Even Riley was unphased in her A cup teen bra Isla had shopped for.

Marcia yelled up the stairs. "It's almost time. Dave put your suitcase in the trunk."

"Isla, sit on the bed."

Lilli added flowers to her twist. It was nothing like the buns she wore. Riley smiled with glossy pink lips. Isla saw Leo in her smile.

The short ride to the church churned up her belly. She imagined vomiting on her not white dress and rolled down the window.

"You'll mess your hair."

"I need fresh air."

"Relax and breathe."

Suddenly, she regretted walking down the aisle alone. No one was right. Obviously not Leo and she didn't know his father well enough nor was she close to her friend's husbands. She considered Paul, but it was too weird, even though they were friends. He was even dating a nice girl, and Helen approved.

The sight of the church sent a new wave of nausea. She wanted to sleep through the next week and wake up next to Leo, no longer a virgin, and go start the coffee. She shut her eyes and visualized the woman she would become. Unfortunately, Lilli pulled her out of the car and she took in the familiar scent of wax and incense. For a moment she remember the first morning when she stepped into the church. She barely remember the woman she had been.

Helen's daughter, an amateur photographer, had offered to take photographs. She greeted them with a smile and clicked while Lilli fixed Isla's hair. From the front of the church she heard Leo laugh. Why wasn't he nervous?

Father appeared with a smile. "Are you ready?"

She wanted to run out the door, but then she peeked and saw Leo looking very serious. Isla nodded slowly.

A moment later the music started, and Lilli told Cody to walk slowly to daddy. The boy wore a suit and looked adorable holding a white pillow which they also borrowed from Lilli's wedding. Next Riley set off.

Lilli squeezed Isla's hand. "You'll be fine. Just wait for the music to change and follow me."

Her friend started down the aisle and Isla stood alone holding her bouquet. The floral scent overpowered the wax. She could run out the door and board the first train, but she knew it was a foolish thought. Pure luck led her to the moment alone in the back of the church. Isla knew God had a hand.

A voice said, "I'd be honored to escort you."

Bill Nelson smiled at her. She imagined Leo looking very much like him in a quarter of a century.

She gave a half smile. "Thank you, but I need to do it on my own."

Her walk to Leo would be the last time she was truly alone. It represented every journey, each new foster home, the convent and her train trip. Bill smiled just as the music changed.

He whispered, "Welcome to the family. You've got this."

She took one timid step to the opening and searched for Leo in his dark suit. Their eyes met and as he smiled his body relaxed. She smiled at him and didn't take her eyes off his gaze, step after step. Finally he stepped forward with an outstretched hand. When her cold hand met his warm one, she breathed for the first time.

Together with Leo, Isla went through the motions of the Mass, but she felt more distracted than Cody on regular Sundays. Father spoke of meeting her when she first came to town. He talked about working with them to prepare for marriage. "To an outsider, they may look like a fairytale, the nanny and the widower. Life is not a fantasy and both Leo and Isla did the work to be ready to stand before God and those they care about and make promises to one another."

Together they made promises including to accept children willingly. Leo winked at her. Then they exchange vows and rings. Isla looked at the thin gold band on her finger. Leo's was thicker; he wore her promise.

When it was finally time to kiss, Leo's lips lingered on hers, but he didn't embarrass her in front of the priest and others. Everyone clapped and Isla breathed a little better. She was Leo's wife. She started on a new journey, but not alone.

The Mass continued and at the end, she and Leo walked the same path she had walked alone together. It surprised Isla to see many of the regulars from daily Mass. They were there to support her even though they hadn't been invited to the reception.

Their reception was at a restaurant with a small function room for their friends and family. Before they left the church, they posed alone for a photograph and then together with Cody and Riley and with Zach and Lilli.

Their friend beamed. "It was beautiful. You're married."

Leo teased. "Smile, wife."

With the ceremony over, she didn't want to think about what came later. At the restaurant, friends and kisses kept her preoccupied. Lilli brought a speaker for music and Leo held Isla for one traditional dance. In his arms, she didn't care about all the eyes on her.

Too soon they were hugging the children and their friends. Maggie said, "Don't worry about anything."

Once in Leo's car, he turned to her. "Are you okay?" She nodded, but her hands trembled. Unfortunately, the hotel wasn't far. "Remember, we've spent a night alone in a hotel before."

"That was very different."

He took her hand. "Come on, Mrs. Nelson."

She stood next to him as they checked in. Strangers in the lobby smiled at them. The man behind the counter congratulated them. She whispered, "Too much attention."

Leo carried two overnight bags, hers and his, and together they stepped on the elevator. Neither spoke as the car climbed to the sixth floor. Leo handed her a bag so he could open the door. Isla stepped in and looked at one very large bed. She swallowed but her mouth was dry. A bucket of champagne sat on the desk.

"For our own private toast."

She didn't want a headache but needed liquid courage. "Maybe one glass."

He smiled. "We don't have to do anything." She startled as the cork popped.

She took a glass and sipped. "It's good."

He smiled. "Sit. Let me take off your shoes."

"My feet hurt a little."

She sat at the chair by the table, and Leo put the other chair across from her. He lifted her right foot and unbuckled her sandal. His hands were warm. She sighed as he rubbed his knuckles across the bottom of her foot. He continued massaging, while she sipped her champagne.

"Everything turned out beautiful. You're beautiful." He smiled.

"You are too. Your suit."

"You've seen it before. Zach and I lucked out because we both have charcoal gray suits."

She groaned. "Oh. Don't stop."

Leo chuckled as he continued until he picked up her left foot and started all over again.

As Leo massaged her feet, Isla sipped more champagne. "So nice."

The warmth of his hand had spread throughout. Her breasts tingled as did the spot she had been thinking too much about.

"Mmm." She moaned.

"Honey, you're killing me." He moved her foot to press on him. She could feel the length of him. With warm cheeks she met his eyes. "Do you want to get more comfortable?"

Her eyes darted to the bed. "It's a big bed." She giggled.

Her eyes followed him as he stood and took his suit jacket and tie off. Carefully draping each across the back of the chair. He slipped out of his shoes and held out his hand. She stood, and he kissed her. Fire spread as his hard body pressed into hers.

"You don't want to wrinkle your dress." His hand reached for her zipper. She had the underthings Lilli gave her. Did Lilli think Leo should see them?

It was too late her dress slid to the ground and Leo stepped back. She wanted to cover herself as his eyes took their time scanning her body. His face looked serious.

When his eyes met hers, he said, "My God, you are exquisite."

She giggled. "Exquisite?"

"Yes, and I'm overdressed. Climb on the bed."

She did as he said and was glad to hide under the covers. She didn't hide her eyes, as he unbuttoned his shirt and undid his belt. His pants hung down on his hips. Her eyes zeroed in on the toned flesh above his waistband. Why was this different from him being shirtless in the pool?

His suit pants fell, and he discarded his shirt. She had folded his boxers hundreds of times, but they looked different on him. She expected him to climb in bed, but he pulled back the covers.

"It's too hot. You're too hot." He winked. "We'll just touch until you're ready. It doesn't have to be tonight."

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