As he reached to shut off his alarm, he cursed his boner. Isla. He had been dreaming of her, and instantly felt guilty. It was torture not claiming her lips as they sat together. Guilt again, but he promised to try. His funk was tiring.

Isla stood at the sink looking outside. He moved behind her and reached to the right for a coffee mug. She didn't move, so he kissed her head. "Good morning."

He moved away hoping she would show her blush. She didn't turn around. "Did you sleep okay?"

He nodded as he poured his coffee. "Only pleasant dreams of you."

The pink turned darker. "Stop teasing."

He took a sip of coffee. "I'm not." With any woman other than Isla he might mention how he woke, but she wasn't prepared. Thankfully, Cody interrupted his digression. Leo took his coffee upstairs to shower and dress.

Later, he stepped out onto the busy sidewalk. The wind cut through him. It seemed to come in from the waterfront and ricochet off the skyscrapers. Christmas was everywhere. How had Leo not noticed? Even Claudia's desk was decked out for the season. Had he been blind? Myoptic for certain.

He arrived before Chelsea and went to get a second cup of coffee. Even with Isla's help, he didn't have time for two at home. He had spent time on a search for library books. With the excitement of decorating their Sunday night routine had slipped.

Lilli was in the break room. Their old offices had a little kitchen. It was a kind name for the closet with a microwave and refrigerator. The new space had room for a table to sit and eat lunch. The agents didn't use it, but the assistants did.

He asked, "How was your weekend?"

Lilli looked up at him and stared. "It was good. How was yours?"

"We have a tree."

"Did the grinch return to his cave or did his heart grow three sizes?"

He paused. "My children are thrilled. Is Zach in?"

She nodded. "He's on the phone with Olivia discussing plans."

"What plans?" Olivia was the office manager at the New York office, but her duties extended to the smaller offices like Boston

"Seriously, Scrooge? For the holiday party. Did you forget?"

He definitely forgot. It had to be two months since he gave Chelsea his guest list. However long ago, it was before Autumn. The last thing he needed was to remember the parties in LA with Autumn by his side.

"No." He lied. "It snuck up on me."

"I just had a brilliant idea."

Lilli's ideas were often more painful than brilliant. "I'm not matching my tie with Zach."

Her eyes narrowed. "Why would you do that? I think you should bring Isla as your date."

"Date. It's all work."

"It's a Christmas party."

"Holiday." He wanted to annoy her.

"Whatever. Semantics. Austin's wife comes every year."

"And Zach's fiance will be there. So what? Isla's my nanny."

"Not even you believe that's all she is. Come on. Think how beautiful she'll look on your arm."

He couldn't argue her point. "She has nothing to wear and would feel out of place."

"I'll take care of that. I have some dresses that will be perfect. So I'll come after work tomorrow. I'll borrow some heels, her feet are the same size as my old roommate's."

"Lilli, she can't wear heels. Besides, it's not a good idea."

"I think it's a very good idea. Trust me."

"What idea?" Zach stood in the doorway with a smirk.

"Leo bringing Isla as his date to Livvy's party."

"Lill, you can't play fairy godmother."

Lilli chuckled. "Daphne interrupted her Aunt Violet's discussion about her sister also my best friend's single status. She said she's not the Princess and the frog. She's Cinderella waiting on her godmother."

"I'm familiar with every Disney princess there is." Isla was more like Rapunzel. She had been hidden away for years.

Lilli said, "Just ask her. If she says no, I promise not to push." She held up her three fingers like a Girl Scout. Autumn had been the Daisy leader.

"I have work to do." He grabbed peanut butter crackers and left.

Zach appeared before lunch. "Hey, I'm sorry about Lilli. When she gets an idea."

"It's okay. I miss having someone by my side. I'm just not sure Isla would feel comfortable."

Zach nodded. "Ask her then. Worse case she says no."

"If she said yes, I would need a babysitter."

Zach chuckled. "Can't call the service."

Leo glared. "Not funny. Maybe one of Isla's friends will do it."

The idea of having Isla on his arm interested him. If he could figure out how to remove the imaginary wall he put up without feeling guilty, he would make it so she belonged there. They had said so much the day before but not enough. He felt guilty when he learned she ran to the priest after their middle of the night kissing. Maybe if he cleared his conscience. Without second guessing, he placed a call. Fate must have been on his side for once, because he made an appointment for Wednesday evening.

He waited until after Riley was in bed. His heart skipped a little to find Isla in the kitchen. "I'm glad you aren't running away from me anymore."

She smirked. "I gave you space."

He took time getting a glass of water. Where should he start? He sat down next to her and reached for her hand. How could a hand which cleaned like hers be so soft? "I noticed the bedrooms are dust free."

She smiled. "It's healthier."

He chuckled. Her pride was unwavering. "Thursday night is the agency's holiday party."

She nodded. "You'll be home late and need the car."

He nodded. "Actually, I wanted to ask you as my guest."

Isla stared at him. "Mm-me?" He nodded. "Guest."

"Or date, but yes." He nodded, suddenly hoping to convince her. "I want you to be with me."

"Why? I'm not..." She pulled her hand away.

"But you are." He sounded like Riley pleading.

"I need to watch the children."

"Do you think one of your friends could stay with them?"

Isla shook her head. "It's my job."

He chuckled. "Not at night. We've talked about that. The line has blurred, but it feels right to me, a partnership." A marriage. She kept shaking her head over and over. "Lilli is coming over tomorrow with dresses and shoes. Maybe try them on and decide."

"You confuse me."

Leo chuckled. "I confuse myself, but I want you by my side."

"Did you go to parties in California?"

"Yes. I miss being a couple."

"A couple?"

He pulled her hand back. "I want to feel that with you."

"I think I need to go."

He let her pull her hand away and stand. "Isla promise me you'll think about it, and try Lilli's dresses."

She nodded, and after she disappeared. He sighed. I never should have listened to Lilli.

The following night, Lilli rode the train with him. "Zach's going to pick me up later. His brother is in town."

Leo only knew his brother was doing a fellowship in pediatric surgery. Lilli climbed in the back and chatted with the kids on the short drive home. Isla hadn't said a word. At the table Lilli pleaded with her eyes. Leo shrugged. He had resigned himself to going alone. Maybe in a year things would be different.

Lilli stood. "Leo, you can clean the kitchen, we're going downstairs."

His eyes followed Isla, but she didn't look his way. Leo wished he could be a fly on the wall, and not just because he would see Isla undressed.

"Where are they going?" Riley asked.

"Lilli brought dresses for Isla to try on. I'm hoping she'll go to my work party with me."

"Why wouldn't she want to?"

The list was long. "She's shy."

Riley smiled. "She asked how we would feel about her friend Marcia babysitting. I'm not a baby."

"It's just a word. She did? What did you say?" Leo smiled. Maybe he had a chance.

"I said she was okay."

Leo attacked the casserole pan with gusto. His enthusiasm waned when neither Lilli nor Isla returned after he finished putting the kids to bed. Resisting the urge to go downstairs, he sat at the table trying to work. Zach arrived bringing in the frosty air.

"Your house looks festive from the street." He looked around. "Where's Lilli?"

"She's been downstairs with Isla since dinner ended."

Zach smirked. "You look green. She'll be a fine date."

"My concern is that she'll reject me. I mean my invitation."

Zach smiled and shook his head. "I felt the same way. It worked out for me and it will for you." Zach was the full package - looks, family money. Leo was a sorry man with kids. "It's late. Can you get Lill for me?"

"Yeah, okay. I appreciate you coming out to get her."

"I could have let her sleepover, but I'd miss her."

Leo frowned as he walked down the stairs. His bed had been empty for too long. He heard Lilli's laugh as he knocked on the door. "Lilli, Zach's here."

"Okay, I'll be right up."

He wanted to linger but returned to his friend. Lilli came up with her garment bag. Should he ask if Isla kept a dress?

"Lill, put the guy out of his misery. What happened down there?"

Lilli put her hand on Leo's shoulder. "Don't worry. If she doesn't go, it's not you, it's her. I tried to convince her. It would have been easier if she liked champagne and sweets."

Leo almost laughed. "Did she keep a dress?"

"Yup. And shoes. Let her think about it."

As he thanked them, Leo saw his friends to the door. He wanted to go downstairs, but he went up to bed instead.

In the morning, he stood behind Isla. He loved to smell her hair right after her shower; the fragrance was as familiar as Autumn's. Don't go there.

"Are you going to keep me guessing? Have you decided?"

"No. I'm. I've never been to a grownup party before."

"I won't leave your side."

"Coffee's ready." She poured him a cup.

"I understand, but I really want you with me." He kissed her forehead and went to shower.

His day dragged, and on his train ride home, his focus changed to his meeting. Leo wondered if it was a mistake. He waited until he and Isla were in the kitchen before dinner.

"I have to run out after dinner. I shouldn't be long. Hopefully, I won't miss bedtime."

"You'll miss it tomorrow."

He frowned. "I will."

Leo hated to go back out into the dark cold night. The drive to the church was quick. He had been to the office when he signed the kids up for classes and joined the parish. No one was at the reception desk, so he called out, hello.

The priest appeared. "Leo, hello. Come on in."

"I was surprised to see cars."

Father nodded. "Wednesday night is AA in the hall. Gossip is rampant, so I heard you lost your wife."

Leo nodded. "I didn't expect it to be so hard. I wanted her to pass three years ago, but the reality. So I've been struggling."

"Sorrow is a powerful emotion."

Leo nodded. "And guilt. I feel so much guilt. You may think I'm crazy but when she was alive, a shell, I didn't think about her knowing what I did, but now she can see."

"What you did?"

"I gave up and divorced her. I walked away."

"She'll know you love her. You care for her children."

Leo smiled half heartedly. "You sound like Isla."

"Yes, Isla and where does she fit in?"

"I think I may love her, and I feel guilty about it."

"You are free to love again. She's a special woman. Not like the modern women."

"I know. Believe me, I know she's one of a kind."

"If you would like God's forgiveness, come to the sacrament of reconciliation. For your wife's forgiveness, pray and talk to her. I believe she wants you to be happy."

"Talk to her and pray. I can try."

"Leo, remember you may have quit on God, but he will never quit on you. The shepherd gathers all his sheep, especially the lost ones. Let's pray for peace in your heart. I think you need to forgive yourself first."

Leo bowed his head and let the priest's words wash over him. After he said amen, he stood. "Thank you. I can hurry to tuck in my son."

Father smiled, and Leo rushed home.

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