Riley knocked on Isla's door. She had been trying to read, but couldn't concentrate.

"Isla, come help decorate the tree. You have to. Dad said you're our family."

She preempted Isla's favorite excuse. She sat up. "Okay. I'll help."

When she reached the kitchen, she followed a trail of tree needles into the living room. Leo was busy wrapping lights around the tree. She grabbed the broom and swept the floor.

When Leo saw her, he smiled. "It's Sunday."

Her heart felt lighter. He teased like the old Leo. "I'm changing."

He nodded. "Do these look even enough?"

She looked at the tree with the multicolored lights. It really looked beautiful. It was a sign of hope the old Leo would return. "Perfect."

Riley was looking in boxes. Isla walked over to her. Inside were tree decorations. Some looked homemade, but others were made of glass.

Leo picked up a box of glass ones. "You stick with the nonbreakable ones."

Riley held one up. "Here Cody."

The boy hooked on the first ornament. It said 'Baby's First Christmas'. The boxes held memories. No wonder Leo had been so reluctant. She stood back until Leo handed her a box of breakable ones. She carefully hung them on the tree. It looked colorful.

Isla slipped into the kitchen to start dinner. She had bought a small roast hoping to cheer Leo up with his favorite meal. She didn't expect all Leo's pain had vanished because he bought a tree. Hopefully, he would be open to planning for Christmas. She didn't know what they liked to eat, and it was less than two weeks away.

Laughter floating into the kitchen made her smile. Joy spread through her when she heard music coming from the other room. She went to the doorway. It wasn't like the hymns they played in the convent, but a man sang about it looking a lot like Christmas. Even Isla's ears had grown accustomed to secular music. She didn't like when the singers rapped, but Leo complained too.

She went back to the kitchen and searched her phone for Christmas cookie recipes.

Cody wandered in. "I'm hungry."

She looked at the boy with brown eyes. A wave of love pulsed through her. "Fruit? You had cookies already."

He held up a finger. "One cookie."

She chuckled. "But it was big."

He nodded and smiled and accepted the clementine orange she offered him. With him at the table peeling his snack, she checked on the progress in the living room. The room was empty.

"Where are Riley and your dad?"

Cody pointed down. There was a third room in the basement with the furnace and oil tank, where Leo kept the batteries. In a corner, there was a stack of boxes, their Christmas decorations. Isla wondered what else was down there. She doubted they would have a nativity scene like at the convent.

She heard Riley's voice as they came upstairs. She was talking animatedly. Leo's face as he entered the kitchen looked pained. Isla heard "the old house". Each had an armful of lights.

"Riley put on your coat, it's not California. Isla, it smells good. I'm going to be hungry after this job."

As they disappeared out the door, Cody yelled, "I'm coming too."

Isla stood in the empty kitchen. The music still played in the other room. As she walked closer, she heard 'I'll be home for Christmas'. She thought of Leo missing Autumn. Movement out the front window caught her attention. She watched as they strung lights in the shrubs in front of the house. Leo's face broke into a smile at something one of the children said. He directed Riley to help and stopped to watch Cody run in circles. From the distance his face looked less tense than it had been since before their trip.

The sun sunk behind the trees. It did it earlier and earlier in December. Isla turned with a sigh of contentment. The glowing tree and the music created a cozy atmosphere in the room. She walked to the kitchen. The potatoes wouldn't peel themselves.

The workers brought the chill of the outside with them. Riley complained she was hungry.

"Dinner will be ready soon."

Leo said, "Go wash up. You can help Isla."

He washed his own hands at the kitchen sink and sat at the table with a beer. He said nothing as he watched Isla mash the potatoes.

Feeling awkward in the silence, she said, "The tree looks nice. Thank you."

His eyes met hers and neither looked away. He lifted the bottle to his lips. "Thank you for pushing me and putting up with me. I'm lucky you didn't run away."

She smiled. "I have nowhere to go. I know about mourning."

He nodded. "I'm still sorry." He looked around. "We got a lot done and there is still almost two weeks until Christmas."

Isla nodded. Christmas was on Saturday. "What will you do to celebrate?"

He shrugged. "Last year we went to my parents, but they're going to see my brother in Germany."

Isla knew his brother was in the army and had a wife and two children. "What about Zach and Lilli?"

"They are going to Maine for Christmas Eve then driving home Christmas day for dinner at Zach's parents. They'll come over another day. So it is just us."

Isla smiled. "It sounds better than the convent. Um, Riley wants cookies."

"Isn't it too soon to bake?"

The kids came into the kitchen. "I want to bake," Riley said. She pushed a chair to the counter and climbed on it

As she started reaching for the recipes, Leo said, "Stop. Climb down before you get hurt."

Leo stood and took down a recipe card box. "She would want you to bake for her children. At least, I hope so."

Isla touched his arm and felt him relax. Maybe keeping her distance hadn't helped him. "Time to set the table. Leo, can you carve the roast?"

He smiled. "Roast! My favorite!"

Riley smiled. The girl had been worried about her father. "Daddy, are you happy?"

Leo looked at her. "I didn't like hearing I was grumpy. So I'm trying to be."

Cody said, "Yay! No more grumpy daddy monster."

"Who said I was a monster?"

"Riley." The brother snitched.

"Sorry, my family I love."

He put down the knife, so Cody and Riley entered his embrace. Isla looked away because he hugged his children but looked at her. At least his grief had stopped the confusion, but it had suddenly returned.

After releasing the children, he effortlessly sliced through the medium rare beef. Everything he did impressed her. She closed her eyes and remembered his kisses. The ones she had spent months trying to forget.

"Isla are you okay?"

"Yes." She jumped. "It's warm. The oven." She put her hands on her flushed cheeks.

He smiled and put the platter of meat on the table and sat down. Isla sat and said grace. Leo smiled at her and she looked at her plate.

After dinner, Isla cleaned up while Leo relaxed with the kids by the tree. Their evenings went like clockwork. Instead of retreating to her room, Isla sat with her book by the tree. Marcia had given her a Christmas romance.

Leo came downstairs and sat beside her. "I'm glad you stayed upstairs."

She closed her book. She hadn't been concentrating. "Leo, don't push away your grief."

"Grief, guilt. It's hard to tell the difference."

"You loved her. That's what mattered."

He nodded and kept looking down. Slowly he met her eyes. "Do you think she can see us?"

She nodded. "I hope she can see all three of you. Maybe my grandmother and Sister are looking out for me."

"I feel guilty because I let her down."

"If she can see you she knows you never stopped loving her. You have cared for her children and..."

"I divorced her and left her a shell."

"The shell is her mother's guilt not yours."

"You have changed so much. I feel things and I hope she understands."

"Things? Understand what?"

He reached for her hand. "About us."

"Us? I'm sorry I talked to Paul and Father about your secret. When I went to Father, it was after the chirping in the middle of the night. I felt guilty."

He nodded. "I know the feeling. I remember that night." She nodded, unable to look at him. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. It used to be all I wanted to do was kiss you." Isla felt a tear. She knew he had changed his mind. "But after she died, I kept thinking she'd see me."

"See you?"

"With you. I already felt like I cheated on her with..."

"Don't remind me. I'm not her. You'll heal and find a woman to make you happy."

He moved closer. "You make me happy.."

Isla blurted, "You aren't divorced anymore, but you aren't ready."

He frowned. "I want to be ready, but it's my turn to feel the guilt. She didn't die my wife."

"Maybe what you feel in your heart is more important than titles. I know how much you loved her. She loved you too."

"How do you know?"

"I see the way she looked at you."

"I see the way you look at me. Sometimes I make you sad, but I don't want to."

"You confuse me."

"Even in my grief you made me happy, but I make you unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy."

"Here." He moved closer to her so they sat side-by-side. She put her head on his shoulder. His arm around her felt secure. He kissed her head.

She felt lulled by the sound of his heart beating. "Today was nice. You weren't grumpy."

His laugh rumbled against her ear. "I'm going to try not to be grumpy. Having you on my team helps."

"Your team."

He squeezed her shoulder. "Knowing you have my back when I falter."

Isla would always help him bear his cross. "You helped me. It's only right." She yawned.

He sat forward. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow is Monday, you clean upstairs."

He kissed her forehead, and she had missed it. Isla stood. "My boss said I didn't have to every week."

He stood. "I think I saw some dust in my room."

She laughed and swatted at him. "You did not." He chuckled and shook his head. "Pleasant dreams and if you don't, you can wake me."

"I'll be okay. Goodnight."

In her room, she looked in the mirror. She was in love and would wait until he was ready. When she slipped under her warm comforter, she prayed for him.

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