Leo saw hurt in Isla's eyes as he tried to convince her to join them in shopping for a tree. Christmas the year before hadn't been difficult. Maybe because it was their first white Christmas or because they felt far from California. Or maybe it was because Leo had been in denial and his biggest worry was keeping a nanny.

Knowing he hurt Isla and seeing it on her face were two different things. Ever since he woke up with her in his bed, he felt guilty. When Autumn was alive she couldn't see him, but with her death he felt her presence. Maybe it was in his grief-stricken head or she was finally with them. He felt chills when his mind went in directions it shouldn't and warm waves when he sat alone at night missing her. One morning, he started the car to warm it up and clear the ice, and their wedding song came on the radio. It was as if she was sending him a message. Grief and guilt had him tied up in knots. He regretted giving up on her with the divorce.

Being stuck in the past made it impossible for Leo to look forward. He felt relieved when Isla gave him space in the evening, but the longer she stayed away, the more awkward things had become. Maybe he imagined some shared feelings before.

His life was marked by before and after - before the fall, after the divorce, after they moved, before Isla, after Autumn's death. His wife was in the ground. It was one more thing he couldn't prevent. She would probably haunt him for that until the end of his days.

Every morning he woke thinking he would snap out of his gloom. Instead, he buried himself in his office working and ignored Zach's invites for lunch. At night, he let Isla disappear and he refused to look at the photos of his Autumn's beautiful face. His children did; Riley told him. In a fit of anger at God, Autumn and the universe, in general, he had torn up the picture of Autumn with the tubes. He didn't need a photo, and he preferred his children forget the years of limbo when their mother was alive but dead to them. No one mentioned the missing picture. If only the memory and his mistakes could be so easily erased.

Leo tried to embrace the season as he walked on the mud and slush covered paths of the tree lot. The Christmas songs blaring through cheap speakers did little to fill him with spirit. His children's laughter did a better job as he tried not to think of the work involved with lugging in the tree and setting it up. Maybe he should have invited Zach and Lilli over.

He turned his head when Isla laughed. She stood with her friend from church. Leo recognized her husband but not the man with them. The friend said, "I thought we were late this year, but it seems we're not the only ones."

The man said, "Mom has the whole crew over to decorate, so finding a day they're all free isn't easy."

The wife pulled her husband's sleeve. "Come on Johnny, the best trees are over this way."

Leo kept his eye on the kids. As they circled around looking at trees, he listened to the man talk to Isla. "Are you feeling better since our lunch?"

Isla nodded. "Thank you."

The guy stepped closer, and their voices lowered. Leo couldn't see Isla's face but the way the guy looked at her caused Leo's heart to jumpstart. He felt like jumper cables had been connected to his coronary organ and an engine turned on. Isla wouldn't hide in the basement waiting for him to get his shit together. She had already had lunch with the guy.

"Isla, come see! The perfect tree."

Her attention switched to an excited Riley, but as Isla stepped away, she said, "Thanks again."

Was thanks again a brush off or an encouragement. It had been years since Leo really dated. Sex with Reagan and stealing a few kisses from Isla didn't count. He stood in place as the guy watched Isla walk away with a smile on his face. Leo could recognize interest and the guy had it for Isla. He felt dread as he vowed to stop taking Isla for granted.

Cody ran back and grabbed his hand. "Dad, come see. It's huge."

"We don't have room for huge, Code, and we don't have Zach to help us."

"Call him. Call him."

Leo shook his head and laughed at the boy's excitement. As a friend, Leo sucked, but thanks to Lilli who forced her way in, he knew Zach was at the Sumner's holiday party. After Cody showed him a tree taller than their ceiling, he carefully explained it to his son. Meanwhile, Riley shouted to get his attention.

"This one's perfect!"

At least the height looked better. "Okay, who's going to carry it?"

"Me!"

"Me too." Cody joined in.

As they struggled to carry it through the tree lot, Leo tried not to think about getting it straight in the stand.

The load felt lighter. "Let me help."

He turned to see Isla's friend holding the other end. Leo nodded. When they reached the checkout, Leo thanked him. As he paid for the tree and instructed the staff which car to tie it onto, the guy started chatting up Isla again. To Leo's surprise, he offered to help get the tree in the stand.

"My father will have plenty of help. He can spare me."

Leo wanted to say no, but he had dreaded asking Isla to help. He had memories of the frustrating task with Autumn. They rarely disagreed, but pine sap, needles and crooked trees meant to hang precious memories didn't conjure up perfect moments. Zach had made the task easy, but Isla's guy didn't work out like Zach. Was he really Isla's guy?

"You don't mind?" He attempted to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

"No. My mother would insist I help a neighbor."

"In that case, thanks." He reached out his gloved hand. "I'm Leo."

"Paul. I'll get dropped off."

Leo nodded. "No rush. The kids like to get hot chocolate before we leave."

"Okay then. I should find my folks."

Leo watched as he walked away. Then he turned to Isla. "You like him?"

Isla shook her head. "He's been nice to me. He understands things which confused me." Leo didn't respond, but Isla shifted her feet. "He teaches religion, so he knows religious things." Her feet shifted more. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

She looked down. "When you went away on business, I asked him to explain certain Church rules to me."

Leo frowned. "So he knows?"

She wouldn't make eye contact. "Sorry, but he promised. He was going to be a priest and I could have gone to his mother, but she likes to gossip. I was very confused, and you were away and..."

"Isla, it's okay." Leo felt relieved that she sought him for religious advice and not more. He didn't like a stranger knowing his business, but Isla trusted him.

The children sat down with cups of the hot drinks and cookies. Isla kept her distance with a pained expression. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her sleeve. "Isla, I said it was alright."

She shook her head. "I feel guilty, because I spoke to Father too."

"You did?"

"It was when I thought. Um. When things felt different with you. I wanted to know if it was a sin. But everything has changed. I was wrong to think you cared. I don't think." She looked around. "We shouldn't be talking about this now."

"Later. We'll talk later."

Leo's problem was he cared. He cared too much but had his own guilt. It was guilt he hadn't felt until his wife died. Neither he nor Isla continued their conversation. After the kids finished their treats, they drove home. Paul stopped by soon after and true to his word, he helped bring the tree inside and secure it in the stand.

Leo stood back. "It looks straight." He shut his eyes, blocking the memory of the crooked tree.

Paul looked around. "Where's Isla?"

Riley stepped up. "She rests on Sundays." She smiled and said, "What goes up but never goes down?"

Paul smiled and winked. "I know this one. Your age."

"Right! Dad, Paul told riddles at Bible camp."

Paul shrugged. "I run the games but am known for my riddles. My students roll their eyes. The younger audience is more receptive."

Leo felt guilty. If Riley liked him, he had to be okay. "Students?"

"High school boys."

Leo smiled. The man was brave. Paul left saying something about family dinner.

He looked at his daughter. "He seems like a nice guy."

"Dad, she doesn't like him."

"How do you know?" She was eleven.

"Duh, Dad."

"Duh what, Riley?"

She motioned for him to bend towards her. As he did, she put her arms around his neck. "If you weren't so grumpy you would know."

He lifted her into his arms. She was almost too big; he thought with regret. "Too grumpy for what?"

"Dad, she likes you. If you liked her, she would never leave us."

He dropped on the sofa with Riley still clinging to his neck. "Leave us?"

"Because you're grumpy."

He hugged his daughter. "I'll try not to be so grumpy."

"Daddy, I know mommy made you sad. I thought you said going to heaven was a good thing."

He sighed. "It is. I just miss her." She squeezed him. "How about we get the decorations?"

"Can I get Isla to help?"

He nodded. "She's our family."

Vote for Riley🌟