Leo felt himself on a cliff with the wind blowing him towards the edge. The safe thing was to retreat, but with every phone call, he kept advancing toward the edge. How could he keep the truth from Isla? It felt like a betrayal, but why? Because she was a great nanny or because his kids loved her. He could blame it on her living in his home, but even that was an excuse. His dreams were the real reason. At night she controlled his sleep and often pushed his nightmares away. During the day, he relied on her companionship more and more. With him away, they felt like a team raising his children, although it was a job for her.

Should he care if she served pancakes for dinner? He made them for breakfast, but Autumn enjoyed having them for dinner. In his pain, he drew the line on which meal the flat, golden disks could be served. Riley's telling Isla about his ban surprised him most.

He stepped off the cliff by promising to tell Isla about his divorce just as Percy appeared in the conference room where Leo had made his phone call. He quickly hung up.

"How are things at home?"

"Fine. They're in good hands."

"You really like this nanny."

"Why do you say that?"

Percy chuckled as he tilted his head. "I meant as a nanny but you gave me another answer."

Leo focused on packing up his laptop, hoping the heat on his neck would subside. Maybe Percy would receive a call causing him to lose his train of thought. The man worked every hour of the day.

When he couldn't procrastinate any longer, he looked up. "Where to?"

Percy shrugged. "I don't care. What are you missing?"

Leo laughed. "Not Chipotle. Lilli at work is obsessed." He thought for a moment. "I haven't had any authentic Mexican food?"

"And you're surviving."

Leo laughed. Better than he imagined.

They kept their conversation light on the way to the restaurant. Too many topics were heavy, Autumn, his mother, their negotiations, and for Leo, Isla.

The deal they were trying to cut would require Matthew to give the studio full rights to his book or books. It was important to keep it to a minimum number of books to protect Matthew if the production flopped. At odds were the merchandise rights. There were collectibles of the characters, Roman and Astara, and of the many creatures they battled. Riley had a few in her room. Obviously, the studio wanted to nail down as many books as possible, but he wanted it limited. Regardless, if it turned out to be one book or five, the rights would require substantial dollars. Matthew benefited the most. Leo worked on commission, but protecting the client came first.

Once they sat down, Leo picked up a freshly made tortilla chip and dipped it in spicy salsa. It was totally delicious and unhealthy, like pancakes for dinner.

Percy smiled. "Tell me about this nanny."

Leo groaned. "She's... I don't know. The kids love her, and I like having her around and..." She fills my dreams.

"I get you've been living like you're in prison. Even prisoners deserve a conjugal."

"Please, I had two and they... It had been a long time since sex didn't mean anything."

Percy laughed. "It means a big fat release."

Leo shook his head. "Only because you haven't had the real thing."

Percy scoffed, waving a chip before popping it in his mouth. "The nanny, is she hot? You must have a picture."

More than one with the kids. Reluctantly, he scrolled through his phone and stopped on one. Isla and Cody writing with chalk on the driveway. She had laughed at something the boy said. "Here."

"Is she old enough to drink?"

"She's almost thirty." Leo's voice reflected his offense.

"Seriously? Is that what thirty-year-old women look like in the East?"

"That's what nice women look like without caked on makeup, but you never date those."

"I don't have time to date. I skip the games and go straight to bed."

Leo shook his head. "Charming."

"So are you going to lust after her from afar, or sleep with her and lose your nanny."

"I can't lose her. The agency blocked my number." Percy laughed, but it wasn't a joke. Plus, Isla needed a home. "I don't intend to sleep with her." Because she's a virgin and religious which means my divorce is a deal breaker. Percy would not understand and would laugh if Leo tried to explain. It was ironic how he shunned his religious mother-in-law only to have feelings for a woman who had lived in a convent.

Percy slept with any willing woman once, so he shook his head. "Saint."

"The opposite. Do you still climb?"

Aside from hiking, they spent time together at the rock gym. It was their thing, Autumn didn't like rock climbing.

Percy shook his head. "No time."

In the three years since the accident, the studio exec had received two promotions. Leo winked. "Do you have time for sex?"

"I make time, occasionally. I'm getting older and the girls are getting younger."

"If you dated, you could find a woman with a brain and maybe try a relationship."

"Nope. You can, and let me know how it goes."

Leo thought of Isla again. As they finished their meals, Leo talked about the kids and their life. Percy laughed at the portable pool. In his world, people had in-ground pools, but Leo wasn't rich. Keeping a nanny took a piece of his salary. If Autumn were alive, they would have two incomes.

Percy frowned. "Hey, Leo. Stay strong for her kids. Man, they need you."

"I need them. Can you drop me at the hotel? I'm tired."

"It's six o'clock!" Percy pouted. Nine at home, and Leo promised to call Isla. "Just as well I have work to do."

Leo took off his suit and hung it up. Then he lay down in his boxers and undershirt to call Isla's phone. He should be nervous, but he wanted to hear her sweet voice.

She answered after one ring. "Hi Isla."

"Hello." She sounded tentative.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. The children had the picture album out. I saw her."

He closed his eyes, the picture. "You did?"

"Yes. What happened?"

"She was hiking and went too close to the edge and fell a long way. She should have died."

"But she didn't."

"No, she has tubes, and machines breathing for her and feeding her. Her brain damage was severe. She'll never get better."

"And you went to see her?"

"Yes. I had to, even though it is so hard."

"But you divorced and moved away? Why?"

"Because of her mother. I wanted to let my wife rest, but her mother refused and threatened a legal challenge."

"Legal? Court?"

"Yes. It would attract media attention. It was too much. I had two kids who didn't understand."

"Do they now?"

"No. Riley told you she was sleeping. The day she was mad over the printer, she was upset she didn't have a mother."

"Poor girl."

"After the accident, I felt guilty if I didn't sit with Autumn, but Riley and Cody needed me. It was my only way out. I let her mother win, but she lost her grandchildren. Even after the divorce, I felt guilty if I stayed away."

"Does she know you are there?"

"She knows nothing. I struggled, and so after a year, I asked for a transfer. It took awhile until one was available."

"You ran too."

"I suppose we did. Please don't hate me." His voice cracked.

"Hate you?"

"Because I want her to die. Because I ignored my vows and divorced her."

"What are your nightmares about?"

He moaned. "Her falling. Trying to save her."

"Did you see her fall?" She panicked.

"No. I was home with the kids." He left Percy out of it. "No one knows. Not Zach or Lilli. I trust you."

"Why?"

"Why do I want her to go?"

"I meant, why do you trust me? But isn't it up to God who dies?"

"She did die, but the rescue crew brought her back and put her on a machine to breathe for her. I think her soul left her and her body is empty. My Autumn is gone." He sobbed.

"She's beautiful."

"She was. Don't leave us. My kids need you. I need you."

She sobbed. "I don't want to leave. I need to go."

Isla hung up. Leo wanted to go home, but he had two more days. His guilt burrowed under his skin. Even though it wouldn't eliminate the shame, he had to say goodbye. Leo dreamed he was the one falling into the abyss. He woke up feeling tired.

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